You Can't Blame Me for Trying - ScribblingArtemis (2024)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Buck took a deep breath in through his nose, earning himself a weird look from Hen where she was leaning against the counter opposite him. Avoiding her eyes, he couldn’t resist inhaling deeply one last time, albeit it hopefully a little more discreetly. There was a delicious musky scent drifting through the air today and the feline part of Buck wanted nothing more than to roll in it.

“Okay, what, Buck?” Hen asked abruptly, her eyebrow raised in question. Buck averted his face as his cheeks pinked mildly.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, Hen.”

“Uh huh. So that wasn’t you breathing in so hard it’s surprising your nose didn’t cave in?”

Buck bit his lip against the smirk that wanted to surface. “Nope. Must have been your imagination.”

Hen snorted, shaking her head, but let the subject drop; instead telling Buck about Denny’s latest ‘whys’. Apparently the kid was in that phase where every other word was ‘why’, and Hen and Karen were spending half their time desperately scrolling through google trying to at least answer some of them.

“Why don’t you just give him Buck’s number, Hen? I’m sure our very own walking encyclopaedia could help you out.” Chimney suggested as he ruffled Buck’s hair on his way past. Buck yelped indignantly, hand flying to smooth his hair back as he straightened from his slumped position.

“Try it now, Chim; let’s see how high you have to jump,” Buck quipped. Hen chuckled whilst Chim’s amused grin stayed in place.

“Don’t have to try again, Buckaroo; did it right the first time.” Buck rolled his eyes but gave an easy smile as Hen patted him consolingly on the shoulder.

“There there, Buck; you’re still pretty as a picture.”

“Let’s not inflate his ego too much, Hen.” Bobby’s voice floated ahead of him as he rounded the corner. He looked strangely excited and Buck narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him.

“Yeah at this rate his head might not fit into the truck.” Chim added, seemingly oblivious to Bobby’s oddly good mood.

“What’s got you so chipper, Cap?” Hen asked, her eyes were also narrowed suspiciously at their Captain.

“A man can’t simply be in a good mood?” He replied vaguely as he headed down the stairs, beckoning them to follow after him. Hen hummed noncommittally.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs Bobby looked at them expectantly. Buck idly noticed the musky scent was stronger than before but nothing looked out of place. Buck turned to face him, head tilting in question.

“Okay, that is a beautiful man.” He heard Chim say with Hen adding her agreement swiftly after.

“Where’s the lie? And I like girls.” Buck swung his head around to them, before following their gazes to the locker room’s glass walls. His mouth promptly went bone dry as soon as he laid eyes on him.

The man was tall, perhaps only a few inches shorter than himself, but where Buck was pale this man was golden. Tempting smooth skin stretched out over gorgeous muscles, and a dusting of dark hair across his chest made Buck’s feline instincts come alive. He immediately wanted to preen and chuff to gain the male’s attention, laying himself out as an offering, hoping only to be worthy.

The mystery man was however currently pulling on an LAFD shirt, sadly covering his mouth watering abs, and confusing Buck more, in the process. He would remember a body like that belonging to a fellow firefighter. Especially one in his own firehouse.

Barely holding back the embarrassing noise that was creeping up his throat, Buck choked out, “Who the hell is that?”

“Eddie Diaz. New recruit. Graduated top of his class just this week. Guys over at Station Six were dying to have him, but I convinced him to join us.” Bobby sounded entirely too smug as he delivered that bit of earth shattering news.

Buck’s mind whirled. Somehow Bobby expected him to be able to work with a man who looked like that and keep his hands to himself? After Buck 1.0? Was this some kind of test? He took in Bobby's self-satisfied smile. Or did Bobby expect him to fail, want him to fail even? Were they replacing him? No. No, Bobby wouldn’t do that. He’d forgiven him for his mistakes. He had.

“What do we need him for?” The question came out harsher than Buck intended, lost as he was in his spiralling. Bobby gave him a searching look.

“He served multiple tours in Afghanistan as an Army medic. Guy's got a Silver Star, it's not like he's wet behind the ears. Come on, I'll introduce you to him. He likes to be called Eight Pack,” Bobby said as if it were an inside joke between the two of them. God, maybe they were replacing him.

Reluctantly, Buck joined the others edging nearer to the locker room. The man - Diaz - exited before they got there, heading straight for their group once he spotted Bobby. His scent washed over Buck and he realised that the intriguing muskiness he’d been smelling before, so eagerly, apparently belonged to him. As he caught the full scent now, the tantalising wisps from earlier paled in comparison. The man’s scent was like nothing Buck had ever encountered before: musky yet spicy, earthy but not overwhelming. It grounded him even as it spun him higher. And most shockingly, it was the scent of a wolf. How Buck, a feline for Christ’s sake, could find the stench of a canine to be the best thing he’d ever smelled in his entire life was absolutely baffling.

He’d come across wolves aplenty before, of course. Seeing as wolves were the most common type of shifters in the US it would have been weirder to have never crossed paths with one. But, anytime he’d encountered them before, their scent had always caused his hackles to rise and Buck had to make a concentrated effort to not give in to his base territorial instincts. He had definitely never wanted to roll in any of their scents before.

Distracted by controlling the rising tension in his shoulders, Buck missed the others’ introductions; it wasn’t until Bobby was saying his own name pointedly that he belatedly paid attention again.

“This is Buck. As I'm sure you can tell, he’s our only shifter on A Shift, or rather he was, since we now have you too.” Bobby gave Buck a raised eyebrow, seemingly emphasising the ‘too’. He felt a wave of appreciation for his Captain who had clearly seen the insecurities he had desperately been trying to push down. Bobby being Bobby had quieted them with a single word.

Trying not to let out a sigh, Buck finally made eye contact with Diaz. Or he would have if the wolf hadn’t been too busy frowning at Buck’s neck. Buck stiffened, his eyes narrowing; he knew what Diaz was looking for. There were two types of shifters: those who were born shifters and those who were turned into shifters. Diaz was the former whilst Buck the latter.

Humans were made into shifters when they were bitten by one, but only consenting adults could be bitten. Legally that is, otherwise the shifter would be stamped with your everyday standard assault charge. Only with a side serving of god awful, life-changing consequences for the unsuspecting victim. If they lived.

Turning someone was a painful process with a fairly low chance of survival. A decade ago, when shifters were barely recognised by the legal system, let alone having actual rights, a bite was more of a death sentence than anything else. Thankfully, a compatibility test had been invented since then and all prospective shifters were now required by law to have one before they could consent to being turned.

Bites were done on the neck due to the accessibility and proximity to the heart. Apparently this made the transformation process better as the virus could then spread more quickly and efficiently. In theory it was supposed to be less painful than being bitten anywhere else. Buck had doubts about that; surely the pain was the same just over faster? Hen had only shrugged when Buck asked.

Some of the more ignorant or ‘traditionalist’ people believed the placement of the bite was to show some kind of ownership or even differentiate between the Bitten and the Born shifters. Buck wondered why they thought the distinction was important but, based on the discrimination and down right violence he’d witnessed with his own two eyes, he knew that they really did think it was.

Turns out an identifying mark wasn’t necessary for shifters themselves to be able to tell which was which; they always instinctively knew if someone was born a shifter or not. So turned shifters didn’t just face discrimination from asshole humans but also from asshole Born shifters. At best, it was nothing more than a superiority complex and an irritating arrogance. At worst, you would find yourself running for your life.

So, when Diaz locked his eyes on Buck’s neck, Buck tensed in anticipation. Not only was he a Bitten to Diaz’s Born, his bite hadn’t been on his neck.

“You don’t have a scar.” Diaz blurted out unceremoniously, practically glaring at him. When Buck gave no reply, a few seconds of confused silence followed.

“Uh, is he supposed to?” Chimney finally asked.

“Well, yeah, since he was…” Diaz trailed off, his eyes widening as he only then bothered to look at Buck’s face, seeing his glare. Buck heard Hen’s soft gasp of realisation and Bobby’s sigh. Chim was oblivious as always, still waiting on Diaz to finish his sentence.

“Since he was…?” Chim prompted.

“Uh, he was, um-”

“Bitten.” Buck finished sharply, his eyes never leaving Diaz’s, daring him to say whatever it was that he was now holding back.

“Oh.” Chim muttered, glancing between Buck and Diaz, popping his gum, clearly uncomfortable.

“Well-” Bobby began only to be cut off by the bell. He seemed to sigh in relief this time. “Let’s table this for later, boys; gear up.” Buck pushed past the new recruit roughly.

Buck did his best to ignore the conversation in the truck as they headed to the scene. The air was tense but, where normally Buck would be doing everything he could to lighten the mood, he had absolutely no desire to make anything easier for the new guy.

“So, Silver Star, huh?” Chim eventually asked, the first to crack under the oppressive silence.

“Yeah,” was all Diaz replied. After a beat Chim continued.

“You save a platoon or something?”

“No, no, nothing like that. Uh, just a convoy.” His tone finally seemed to register on Chim’s radar and the truck fell silent again. Buck saw Bobby looking at him over his shoulder, from the corner of his eye. It was a plea and reprimand all at once. One of Bobby’s specialty looks. Rolling his eyes, Buck gave in gracelessly.

“So is your full name Eduardo?” He asked, his displeasure as clear as he could make it.

“No.”

“People ever call you ‘Diaz’?”

“Not if they want me to respond.”

“Something's got to give. We got Cap, Hen, Chimney, Buck; we can't just call you ‘Eddie’."

“Can't tell if he's being serious or not.” Diaz looked over to Chim.

“I like to always operate under the assumption that nothing he says is serious.” Chim sounded more strained than mocking. Buck sent a raised eyebrow to Bobby who was still watching. He got a head shake in return, as if it were his fault the new guy didn’t want to make conversation with him. Buck returned his gaze steadfastly to the window after that.

Bobby called out to Buck as the team assessed the patient. “Buck, I need you to get a 14 gauge angiocath. We need to start decompressing the pleural cavity.”

“All right, all right,” Buck muttered to himself as he knelt, feeling for the correct placement on the patient to inject.

“Want me to help?” Diaz offered beside him, obviously doubting Buck’s abilities.

“I got it,” Buck gritted out, barely refraining from snapping at the man. He did not need the arrogant asshole and his unfair scent up in his space right now.

“I'd go lower.” Diaz said just as Buck had the needle lined up. He couldn’t help but glance up at him, his face far too close for comfort. At this distance, Buck could see the amber flecks dotted in Diaz’s eyes, small signs of the wolf he carried. They were eyes Buck could easily fall into; warm brown framed with soft lashes. He could imagine feeling them brushing against his skin after they’d- Get it together, Buckley.

“What? Um, no. Second intercostal space. Midclavicular line.”

“The chest wall is thinner at the fifth intercostal at the anterior axillary line. There's a decreased chance of injuring any vital organs. I've treated guys with collapsed lungs in combat.” Diaz looked up at Bobby who was hovering over them.

With barely any hesitation Bobby agreed, waving his hand at Buck as Diaz held his hand out for the needle. “Thank you. Can you help me out with the shirt?” Buck prided himself on only barely scowling as he obligingly undid the patient's shirt before rocking back onto his heels. Diaz cut the man’s undershirt and quickly pressed the needle in, a hiss of air escaping.

As they were getting back in the truck, Bobby patted Diaz on the shoulder with a ‘that was a good call, Eddie’. Chim also piped up with a ‘Nice job’ as he climbed into the ambulance. When Bobby pointedly met Buck’s eyes, Buck rolled them before adding his own, decidedly stilted, ‘Yeah, good call’. As he was climbing into the truck Buck found that, for the first time in forever, he couldn't wait for his shift to be over.

Chapter 2

Summary:

A wild Maddie appears, and Buck and Eddie have it out again. And again.

Chapter Text

As Buck entered the station for his next shift he had almost completely forgotten about their new recruit, considering his sister had turned up at his apartment last night. After three years of absence.

He’d arrived home ready to collapse after the shift from hell. The calls hadn’t even been bad; it had just been having him there. Diaz and his ridiculous scent, never giving him a minute of peace. And if it wasn’t the man himself it was one of the others telling Buck to give him a chance. Miraculously none of them had broached the subject of him being a Bitten shifter. They were probably saving that interrogation for when they couldn’t be interrupted by the bell.

The shower had been running and two bags were on the floor, next to the couch. Buck hadn’t recognised them but the scent permeating the apartment was unmistakable. Maddie. Buck had stood in the entryway for a few seconds, blinking. Sure he was imagining things because Maddie wasn’t there. She couldn’t be there. She didn’t even know he lived there; he’d sent his last card to her before he’d moved in with Abby.

The shower had cut off and Buck had turned slowly as the bathroom door opened. He almost hadn’t wanted to, lest the illusion be shattered. But then he had finally laid eyes on his sister for the first time in three years. She was real. She was there.

“Maddie?” he had choked out disbelievingly.

“Hey, Evan. I, uh, borrowed some clothes,” she’d shifted uncomfortably, “I hope you don’t mind.” She’d given him a weak smile.

“Mind? I don’t mi- God, Mads; you’re here. You’re really here.” He’d rushed to her then, sweeping her small frame into his arms and squeezing tightly. They both had inhaled each other’s scents. Buck rubbing his chin against her hair as she nuzzled his throat, scenting each other. Eventually he’d held her at arms length, eyes keen as he scanned her as if he would be able to tell why she was there just from one look.

Her smile had been subdued compared to the bright sunshine he had always been on the receiving end of. There was something sad and maybe even scared hidden behind her eyes. He’d rubbed his hands up and down her upper arms, trying to offer some form of comfort though he didn’t know why she needed it.

“How did you even know where I lived?” He’d asked softly.

“Well I went to the address from your last card and they told me where to find you.” At the reminder, Buck’s excitement had dimmed slightly.

“So you did get them then?” Her eyes had fallen along with her small smile.

“I’m sorry I haven't been in touch much lately.”

“Three years, Maddie. I haven't heard from you in three years.”

“Yeah, I know. And it's not what I wanted.”

“Where is Doug?” Buck had asked, considering her husband’s scent was nowhere on her. Even after a shower some of his scent should have lingered. Unless Maddie had purposefully scrubbed it from her skin. Or she hadn’t seen him in a very long time. Judging by the sunken skin and the dark circles under her eyes, Buck assumed it was a bit of both.

“Don't know, don't care.”

“You left him?”

“What can I say? Mom was right.” Buck had almost snorted at that; it wasn’t often his mother was right about anything but she sure had been right about Doug.

“Do they know?” He’d dreaded her answer. Buck hadn’t had any contact with his parents since he was 18 but Maddie had always gotten along with them better. She had been liked more in return as well.

“No one knows. And please don't tell them if they call. I don't want anyone to know that I'm here.” Buck had snorted at that.

“Kind of sounds like you're hiding out.”

“No. More like laying low.” Maddie had been hunched in on herself by that point so Buck had decided to leave the rest of that conversation for later.

He cast around for a lighter subject when he realised that she hadn’t just been waiting at the apartment, she’d been inside it. “Hey, how did you even get in here?” She’d looked back up at him, clearly surprised he wasn’t pressing for more details.

“I told the building manager I was your sister.”

“And he just believed you?” Buck had asked incredulously, putting on an overly-dramatic shocked expression.

“Well, having boobs doesn't hurt.” She’d given him a ghost of a chuckle and Buck considered that a small win.

He’d been whistling upon entering the firehouse until the faint traces of musk had invaded his nostrils and his good mood had vanished instantly. The feline side of him had no such qualms, practically vibrating with the desire to hunt down the scent’s owner. Ignoring the urge, Buck quickly got changed into his uniform and trudged up to the loft; he was going to need a lot of coffee for this shift.

Towards the end of their shift Buck was cursing the firehouse Gods. It had been an excruciatingly slow shift; Buck was almost tempted to call it quiet in the hopes that the Gods would hear him. In an effort to both work off his excess energy and avoid the wolf, Buck was currently holed up in the gym, working with the free weights and watching his form in the mirror.

After maybe 20 minutes, he’d felt a presence behind him and eyes drilling into his back. Gritting his teeth, he refused to turn to acknowledge them. But the eyes never left him. It was like he could feel them running over every inch of his torso. It made his skin tingle and crawl in equal measures.

Finally giving in, Buck dropped the weights and spun to face Diaz with a snarl. “What?”

“What, man?” Diaz replied taken aback, his eyes snapping up from Buck’s chest to his face quickly.

“Like what you see or something, Diaz?”

“Sorry, no.” Buck raised an eyebrow, strangely disappointed in his answer. “I just- what’s your problem, man?” Diaz stood, coming within arm’s reach. Buck had the sudden thought that It would be so easy to pull him closer, breathe in the scent straight from the source. Follow the drops of sweat dotted along Diaz’s skin with his tongue, up to the hollow of his throat and- Jesus, enough, Buckley; that is not happening.

“Okay. You. You're my problem. Your comfort level. You're not supposed to just walk in here like you've been here for years. It's meant-meant to be a getting-to-know-you period. Yet you just walk in here; blurt out my business to everyone; and then you come and stare at me for a solid five minutes because why?”

“I wasn’t star-”

“You were,” Buck growled, leaning closer. “I could feel you doing it. So don’t lie to my face. What the hell is your game here, Diaz?” Diaz gaped at him, before taking a small step back and raising his hands as if in surrender. The gesture failed to placate Buck; he did not trust this guy an inch.

“Look, I in no way meant to, uh, be too familiar or step on anybody's toes. Or blurt out your status. And I know you're going through some personal stuff right now. I’m sorry for uh, staring, you know, I was just, um, I guess I was curious as to where your bite was.”

“What personal stuff?” Buck tilted his head, his brow furrowing in confusion. He hadn’t told anyone about Maddie’s arrival.

“I know your girlfriend recently broke up with you and you're coming to terms with that.” Buck rolled his eyes; Chimney and his big mouth. Yes, Abby had broken up with him but Buck had been perfectly accepting of it thank you very much.

“I'm not ‘coming to terms’ with shit.”

“I'm just saying I hear you're a good guy, and... I'm sorry you're going through pain and I'm sorry if I added to that by putting my foot in it last shift. I really didn’t mean to, man; I was just surprised, uh. But... you don't need to be threatened by me or anything. We're on the same team.”

“Why would I be threatened by you?”

“Exactly. There's no need to be. We do the same thing. I've just done it while people are shooting at me is all.” The corner of his mouth lifted as if mocking him.

“Look, Diaz. My business is exactly that, mine. So stay out of it. I don’t need you walking around the station talking about my bite, or seeming lack thereof, or my ex-girlfriend for that matter. I don’t need you staring holes into my back or whatever the hell you were doing. And if you’re so curious about where my bite is, you’ll have to take me to dinner first.” Buck couldn’t help the playful grin or the suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Right, uh, yeah, sorry. It, uh, won’t happen again. Sorry.” Diaz’s cheeks flushed pink and he averted his eyes from Buck completely. The bell rang at that exact moment and Buck smirked as he pushed past Diaz. This time the new recruit took a large step out of his way.

Buck’s wide eyes zeroed in on Charlie's bleeding thigh. A grenade. A goddamn, real life grenade. Just what they needed for the end of their shift. “Buck, I want you to travel with him to the hospital, keep him stable.” Bobby ordered when they got him outside and loaded up in the ambulance.

“Copy that, Cap,” Buck said resignedly as he watched Diaz already climbing in. Bobby stopped him with a hand clasped on his shoulder before he could follow, ducking his head to catch Buck’s eyes.

“Hey. You’ve got to learn how to play nice. It's one team, Buck.”

“Hey, Nash, am I gonna be alright?” Charlie broke the moment, calling out as he was carefully wheeled in, Buck quickly following.

“My boys have got you. But you might want to consider switching to collecting baseball cards after this,” Bobby joked before closing them in, hitting the side of the van to signal the driver.

“I guess you've seen a lot of shrapnel wounds.” Buck internally cringed, that had come out a bit too hostile sounding.

“My share.” Diaz didn’t take his eyes from where he was working on Charlie. “Need to change those dressings; they're soaking through.” Buck complied silently, not wanting to start something with the guy again. Just as he was reaching to put the new dressing on, Diaz’s hand slapped into his chest. Buck shot him a scowl but froze where he was nevertheless, waiting for an explanation.

“Hold on. I thought you said this was a practice round.” Diaz was staring at Charlie’s leg, looking significantly paler than he had been. Buck’s scowl turned into a worried frown, flicking his eyes to Charlie's leg, hoping to figure out what it was Diaz was seeing that Buck wasn’t.

“It is,” Charlie answered groggily.

“Uh, what-what's going on?” Buck asked warily.

“You see that cap?” Buck leaned over a little to see a yellow coloured object embedded in Charlie’s thigh. “Practice rounds have blue caps. Gold caps are live.” Oh. “Pull over!” Diaz fairly roared the command, slamming his palm against the roof of the ambulance.

Buck stood with Bobby; Diaz; and the bomb squad guy as they discussed the finer points of just why poor Charlie wasn’t red mist right about now.

“We called the military for help.” The bomb squad guy informed them.

“The military? Uh, can't you do it? You're the bomb squad,” He pointed out.

“You can't defuse a grenade. We need to find someone who knows how to pull that thing out of him without setting it off. They're sending someone up from Pendleton. Should be here within the hour.”

Buck frowned, “He doesn't have an hour.”

“I can do it. If he doesn't go to surgery soon, he'll die.” Buck whipped his head in Diaz’s direction. The guy didn’t even seem phased at the prospect of handling a bomb that the bomb squad were refusing to deal with.

“You've done this before?” Bobby sounded as if he were actually considering sending him in.

“Well, none of the guys I served with were dumb enough to shoot a live round in themselves, but I'm familiar with the ordnance.”

Buck looked between Diaz and Bobby. Neither seemed to be appropriately concerned with sending a firefighter to do the bomb squad’s job. But, then again, it was apparently a military job and Diaz had been military so…

“I'm in.” Bobby sighed as if he’d known Buck would volunteer all along. Although considering Buck’s track record for being ‘reckless’ it wasn’t an assumption entirely out of left field.

“All right, listen, Buck, you don't have to do this.” Buck was adjusting his bomb vest when Bobby finally approached him with the doubts he’d expected from the start.

Attempting to make light of the situation, Buck joked, “You think I'm gonna let the new guy have all the fun? Besides, you wanted us to bond. We might end up real close.” He winked at Bobby before climbing in the ambulance ahead of Eddie.

“How you feeling there, Charlie?” Eddie asked as they settled side by side, Buck’s arm brushing Eddie’s as he went about getting an IV in place. Buck determinedly ignored the resulting electric jolt even as he felt Eddie’s eyes on him for a split second.

“Like a world-class idiot. My wife, if she was still alive, she'd be here now saying, "I told you so." Well, maybe she'll be able to tell me in person in about a minute.”

“Well, that conversation's gonna have to wait; nobody's leaving this life tonight.” Buck tried to put as much confidence into the reassurance as he could. Although sitting in the cramped space, acutely aware there was an explosive device not even a foot away from him, Buck was feeling decidedly less and less confident.

“Start the drip,” Eddie said softly before turning his attention back to Charlie. “What branch did you say you were in, Charlie?”

“I didn't. I always wanted to be a Marine. I tried to enlist during 'Nam, but I was 4F, an enlarged heart. So instead, I spent the last years teaching seventh grade.”

“See there, Charlie? Not all heroes serve on the battlefield.”

“That's very kind of you to say that.” Charlie slumped back, his voice beginning to slur.

Eddie met Buck’s eyes steadily. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” Buck licked his lips nervously as Eddie pulled the dressing away from the wound. “He's losing a lot of blood.”

“Keep pressure on it.” Buck reached out, pressing his hands down either side. “Not too much pressure. There it is.”

A bead of sweat ran down Buck’s temple. “All right, so-so pull it out.” Eddie placed the tool around the exposed grenade, straining with effort.

“I’ve got to... be careful. The sensor measures the distance travelled based on how many rotations the shell made after the launch. The key is not to turn the shell while we pull it out. “

“Okay, yeah, so don't turn it.”

Buck bit his lip against saying anything else. He couldn’t help but think that if he wasn’t in a life and death situation right now he would be greatly appreciating how Eddie’s efforts were flexing his biceps beautifully. Or how the small enclosed space meant he was drowning in his scent, delicious even when it was mixed with the odour of blood and the clammy sweat of their patient. Not the time, Buckley. He finally settled on a soft “You got this.”

“Gonna have to just... a bit…” Eddie groaned under his breath and Buck’s hair practically stood on end. Apparently he could be distracted even when a bomb was being waved right under his nose.

Eddie grunted, “Get the box” and Buck jerked into action. Frantically presenting the open container, he held his breath as Eddie gently placed the grenade in. He flipped the lid closed and paused for a beat, listening intently for any ticking noises. Or anything else that would suggest it was about to explode, quite literally, in their faces. When nothing happened, he looked up to meet Eddie’s gaze and found his own relieved smile mirrored there. And what a beautiful smile it was. He was so fucked.

Once they had passed Charlie onto the waiting team of doctors and nurses, Eddie turned to face Buck with a grin. “You're a badass under pressure, brother.” Buck flushed, giving Eddie his own shy grin.

“Me?” He couldn’t help the disbelief; all he had done was hold a box after all.

“Hell yeah. You can have my back any day.”

“Yeah. Or, you know, you could... you could have mine.” They were quiet for a moment before both chuckled. Eddie held his hand out and Buck took it, barely hesitating. The electric jolt was there again but this time Buck was expecting it.

“Deal.” And if Buck wanted to imagine Eddie’s voice was slightly strained then that was his business. Their grins widened as they shook.

“Nice work, fellas. I'm glad you both made it out of there.” Bobby said, approaching them, and Buck let his hand drop, even though all he wanted was to never let go.

“The guy's a professional, Cap. I was never really worried.” Buck smirked at Bobby’s raised eyebrow. Without warning the sound of an explosion behind him had Buck flinching hard, hands slamming over his ears in a futile attempt to muffle the noise. He blinked at the now flaming ambulance. Slowly he turned back to Eddie with his own raised eyebrow. Eddie grinned back unrepentantly, wiggling his finger in his ear as if that would help his own ringing ears.

“You guys hungry?”

Chapter 3

Summary:

Stupid people and Buck's not a sharer

Chapter Text

People were stupid. That wasn’t Buck’s opinion, that was a fact of life. Take for instance these Youtubers. Who in their right mind thought it would be a good idea to cement a microwave onto someone’s head? Stupid people that’s who. As if putting a tube into the kid’s mouth and a plastic bag over his head could prevent any of the awful inevitable things that were going to happen. Every time Buck thought he’d seen the pinnacle of stupid people were capable of someone came along and just set the bar that little bit higher.

“He's panicking.” Buck observed, as Jessie’s breathing sped up.

“All right, he's starting to choke.” Bobby added, glancing at Eddie who was busy trying to get the microwave part off of the block of cement on the kid’s head.

“Saliva's probably aspirated through the breathing tube.” Hen was saying just as Jessie violently jerked to his feet, stumbling in his panic. Buck watched in horror, too far away to stop him, as he fell into the pool. Sparing only a second to unclip his radio, Buck dove in after him, Eddie joining him not a second later. Together they lifted the cement block and swam Jessie out of the pool. Staggering under the weight, they somehow navigated the steps to get him lying on the ground.

“All right, Buck, once we get this frame off, you and I are gonna go hammer and chisel on that block.”

“All right, Cap.” Buck twitched with the need to do something, anything, but for right now he was useless. Finally, Bobby offered him the halligan. Taking the sledgehammer instead, he gave Bobby a nod.

“All right.” Bobby accepted his silent request easily, placing the halligan pointed end down on the cement. Taking a breath, Buck swung the hammer using a lot of his considerable strength. Making direct contact, he drove the tool straight in, the cement immediately crumbling and falling away. Bobby’s brows raised in surprise but he gave Buck a small grin before focusing back on the patient.

Buck was returning that small proud smile a few minutes later as he watched Bobby drop kick the Youtuber’s phone into the pool.

The truck ride back was decidedly less amusing as Buck and Eddie respectively dripped all over the place. Whilst Eddie’s mood appeared unaffected, Buck was feeling more than a little sour.

“Aww did kitty get all wet?” Chim teased, grinning over at Buck. Buck flipped him off.

“Fuck you, Howie.” Hen snorted, gingerly patting Buck on his soaked arm.

“There there, Buckaroo, you’ll be dry again soon.”

“Not soon enough,” Buck grumbled.

“Don’t like water?” Eddie smirked slightly opposite him. Buck huffed at him but when he only continued to stare at him amusedly, he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

“I like water just fine when I'm at the beach or in swimming trunks. I’m not a fan of sitting in sopping wet clothes looking like a drowned rat.” Eddie’s smirk grew wider. Buck scowled at him, muttering mutinously, “And that’s how you get a cold.”

“Believe me, no one wants you to get a cold, Buck.” Bobby added from the front.

Buck was almost pleased by his support until Chim quipped, “God, no, you’re dramatic enough when you’re healthy; somehow you’re so much worse sick, even when you get just a little sniffle.” Bobby laughed, Hen snorting again.

“You’ll all be sorry when I get sick and infect the rest of you.”

“Nuh uh, you’re being quarantined if you get sick, Buck.” Hen scooched away from him jokingly. Buck glared at her but his lips twitched up when she laughingly ruffled his wet hair. “I’ll make you some hot chocolate when we get back, Buckaroo, how’s that?” Buck smiled softly, resisting the urge to lean his head on her shoulder in thanks. He wouldn’t appreciate it if their situations were reversed and Hen put her soaked head on his shoulder.

“I can make us my Abuela’s Mexican hot chocolate if you want.” Eddie offered, his smirk softening.

“That’ll be five cups of hot chocolate when we get back then, Eddie.” Bobby called over his shoulder. Eddie twisted in his seat.

“Buck and I are the ones soaking wet,” He protested half-heartedly

“And we’re the ones that have to deal with both of your wet dog smells.” Chim declared as if their human senses were anywhere near strong enough to smell them.

“Hey! I resent that; I’m a cat.”

Maddie was sitting on the couch with sad eyes and her bags packed beside her when Buck got home. His heart dropped but he tried for a casual tone when he asked, “Leaving already?” Maddie’s smile was as sad as her eyes.

“Road ahead awaits.” Buck would have been able to see that she didn’t want to leave, not really, even if her scent hadn’t been all kinds of misery and fear. Taking a breath, he decided it was now or never. If he didn't say something whilst he had the chance Maddie would disappear again and there was no guarantee that this time it wouldn’t be permanent.

“I'm more concerned with the road behind you. Maddie, what really happened with Doug? Why are you running away from him?” He saw her set her jaw, the standard Buckley stubborn look that said he wouldn’t be able to move her an inch. Buck had been on the receiving end of that look more times than he’d care to admit but he could count on one hand the amount of times Maddie had been the one giving it to him.

“No. I'm not gonna bring my little brother into this.”

“Standing in between you and anyone who thinks they can hurt you is exactly where I want to be standing. It’s where I will be standing whether you tell me the truth or not.” She looked away so Buck moved to sit beside her, taking her hand in his and holding on tightly. “Maddie, are you in some kind of danger?” Her eyes filled with tears as she held him back just as tightly.

“The stuff that Mom and Dad hated about him, that you picked up on even as a teenager? It all got worse. Much worse over the last year or so. And when I threatened to leave, he threatened to kill me.” She whispered, closing her eyes in pain. Buck’s heart broke but his resolve hardened. There was no way in hell he was letting his sister run off to God knows where with her psychopath husband possibly hunting her down. If he had to follow her when she ran this time then so be it.

“And he meant it. You know, when women in abusive relationships used to come into the hospital, I’ve got to be honest, I would pass judgement. Like, "Why don't you just leave him?" Now I get it. It's like, you can't even believe it's happening.” The tears that had been welling in her eyes lost their battle against gravity and slowly trailed down her cheeks.

“But you broke free. And I'm so proud of you.” He reached up and lightly brushed the tears away. “But now is not the time to be alone, all right? So-so-so you... you should stay here. All right? I-I got... I got plenty of room, and-and, hey, if Doug comes looking, then...I know a lot of cops.” Buck stammered in his rush to just say something, anything, in the hopes that it would be enough to convince her to stay.

Maddie considered him for a moment, biting her lip. He could see he was swaying her and his heart lifted. “He won't. He doesn't know you live here. He doesn't know what you do. It's a real benefit of being married to somebody who doesn't ask any questions.” The words were bitter and her smile regretful but that was something to fix once she’d agreed to stay.

“Okay, well, that's perfect. You can start over. I can help you. I can help you get a great nursing job at one of the hospitals.”

“No. I really miss helping people, but I can't do that job every day, looking over my shoulder, wondering who's walking in the front door.”

“Okay. So you want to help people but not deal with them face-to-face?” She nodded. Buck grinned at her. “Did I ever tell you that my ex-girlfriend was a 911 dispatcher?” She tilted her head in confusion at Buck’s apparent abrupt subject change but then she slowly started to smile back at him. And it was so hopeful it hurt. Doug would never get within a mile of his sister if Buck had anything to do about it; he would let nothing extinguish the first true bit of life he’d seen in her eyes since she’d first appeared in Abby’s apartment.

“All right, Buckaroo. if you were not a member of the LAFD: what would you be doing?” Buck paused where he’d been grabbing an apple. He inclined his head and frowned in confusion at Chim’s question.

“Uh, I don't know.” He shot a slightly frantic glance at Bobby where he was cooking breakfast for the team. “I'm not getting fired, am I?” A familiar curdling sensation started in his stomach but Bobby’s easy smile and head shake calmed it instantly. No, Bobby wouldn’t fire him. He’d forgiven him for Buck 1.0. He had.

“That's inevitable,” Chim teased.

Hen jokingly suggested he’d be a golden retriever, ignoring Buck’s faux affronted noise at the mere suggestion he’d be a dog. Chim argued Buck would be a bartender, before changing his mind stating that he would be a bouncer at a bar instead. Buck couldn’t remember if he’d actually ever told any of them he’d been both before, back when he lived in Peru. Hen amended Buck's alternative career to be a bouncer at a strip club with a teasing grin, causing him to roll his eyes.

Bobby gestured him over to help prepare the food and Buck eagerly took his usual place at his side. The cap had been slowly teaching Buck to cook and seemed pleased with his progress; they’d just started branching out after mastering breakfast foods.

“What's going on with you, kid?” He asked. Buck shrugged, answering distractedly as he concentrated on getting the perfect distribution of filling in the omelette.

“Just, traffic sucks in this town, unless you're driving ten tons of engine with sirens. It took me almost two hours to get from Abby's place to the call centre downtown, then back over here.”

“What were you driving to the call centre for?”

“It’s Maddie’s first day so I dropped her off. I’m definitely not making it a regular thing though; she can Uber.” Buck grinned as he flipped over half of the omelette and saw it was a perfect golden brown. He transferred it to a plate with a flourish and put it down in front of Eddie who had arrived at some point, unnoticed.

“Hey!” Chim called indignantly. “I was here first.” Eddie shot him a smug smile and nodded to Buck in thanks.

“Who’s Maddie?” Hen asked where she was already tucking into her own plate of food courtesy of Bobby.

“My sister?”

“You have a sister?” Buck stopped what he was doing, looking at Chim with a frown.

“Yeah?” He took in the confused looks on the team's faces. Huh. “I haven’t mentioned her before?”

“Buck, I don’t know about anyone else but I didn’t know you had any siblings let alone a sister who apparently lives in LA.” Hen said not unkindly.

“Oh.” Buck shifted uncomfortably when everyone turned their attention to him. “Well. Uh, yeah. She lived in Pennsylvania but, um, we fell out of contact for a while and I think she had a bit of a rough time so she turned up, what a week or so ago? It was the night after Eddie’s first shift, anyway. She, uh, wanted a…change of pace, I guess?” He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Bobby clapped him on the shoulder.

“I think it’s great that she’s here then, we’d love to meet her some time.”

“Thanks, Cap. She’s, um, still settling in, you know, but I'll make sure to bring her to our next gathering or something; I’m sure she’d love to meet you all.”

“Perfect. Well, dig in everyone before the bell-” The bell chose that exact moment to ring, being met with varying groans of annoyance from the team. Buck shovelled as big a bite as he could into his mouth before rushing to get his gear. Eddie bumped his shoulder as they trotted down the stairs together. He offered him a small grin, bumping him back, the now familiar electricity dancing across his skin. Eddie’s hand fleetingly laid on the back of his shoulder before they split off to their respective gears.

Chapter 4

Summary:

The earthquake hits (Part 1)

Chapter Text

They attended a few calls before Buck found himself pacing the loft agitatedly. If he had been in his cat form his tail would have been flicking up a storm. Something was wrong, wrong, wrong. Phantom whiskers were twitching on his face and his claws were itching under his skin. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

“Buck, would you please sit down?” Chim grumbled from where he was sitting on the couch, absorbed in his phone, completely oblivious to how wrong the air was. “Okay, how about just standing still?” He asked again when Buck didn’t acknowledge him. Buck couldn’t understand how Chim couldn’t feel it. He was sure Eddie was feeling it, considering he’d disappeared downstairs stating he was going to do some maintenance on the truck. It wasn’t even on his chore list today. Buck turned and paced again. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

“Buck, seriously, st-” Chim was cut off when the Earth heaved beneath them. The lights started swinging and the walls shaking. Buck grabbed Chim by the arm roughly and shoved him ahead as they staggered down the stairs. He saw Hen catch Eddie before he slid into the wall, both of them racing outside once they’d recovered their footing. He let go of Chim’s arm at the bottom of the stairs, hesitating as he quickly cast his eye around the firehouse for anyone still inside. He couldn’t see Bobby anywhere. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

“Anybody else back there?” Buck whipped his head around, relieved to see Bobby in one piece and rushing over to him. Buck shook his head, finally making his own way out with Bobby close behind.

Stood out in the parking lot, the entirety of A shift waited with bated breath as the Earth bucked and trembled. The cacophony of car alarms; windows shattering; objects falling over; and buildings crumbling around them overwhelmed Buck’s senses, his eyes already watering as dust flooded the air.

Chimney was the first to speak as they huddled together. “Okay, that's at least a six.”

“Seven,” Hen corrected. Eddie repeatedly lifted his phone to his ear, clearly trying to get through to someone.

When the tremors finally subsided, Bobby addressed the group. “Okay, you know the drill. I want this station up and running in 10 minutes and everyone on the trucks in 15.” The group scattered into action. Eddie shoved his phone into his pocket with a growl of frustration before running back in. Buck stayed close by him, finding comfort in his scent even when it was spicier than usual.

Buck considered the change he’d detected in Eddie’s scent as they sat in the truck, having been immediately called out as soon as the station had registered as being back online. If Buck didn’t know better he would say he was detecting annoyance in Eddie’s scent but that should be impossible. It took weeks, at the very least, of knowing someone to become familiar enough with their scent to be able to detect the minor changes that indicated what they were feeling. There was no way he was already reaching that stage after only a few shifts together. Then again, Buck had an almost unhealthy obsession with Eddie’s particular scent and the long shifts had meant spending a lot of hours together in relatively close quarters. Maybe it was possible.

Buck glanced at Eddie again, noting the furrow in his brow which only seemed to be getting deeper as he furiously tapped at his phone. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. There's no service. Texts won't even get through.”

“Who’re you trying to get a hold of?” Eddie seemed to hesitate. He twisted his mouth, unwittingly drawing Buck’s eyes to those plush looking lips- really, really not the time, Buckley

“My son. I'm trying to reach my son.” Buck blinked in surprise before giving him a wide grin.

“Whoa, you got a kid?”

“Christopher. He's seven.” Eddie offered Buck his phone with a picture of a little kid with glasses; a smile as blinding as the sun; and the absolute cutest curly mop of hair.

“And super adorable. I, uh, I love kids.”

“I love this one. I'm all he's got; his mother's not in the picture.” His eyes got a faraway look then and Buck decided to veer away from that obvious sore spot.

“He's at school?” He asked instead.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, I'm sure he's fine.” Buck reassured as Eddie’s voice became even quieter, nudging Eddie’s knee with his. Eddie only nodded in reply looking out the window, apparently giving up on his phone for now, but he left his knee pressed against Buck’s for the rest of the way.

“You guys ever deal with anything like this before?”

“No.” ‘This’ of course was a half-collapsed skyscraper. As in, the top half of the building was leaning over at a frankly ridiculous angle. Buck wondered how it hadn’t yet ripped away and collapsed fully. One solid aftershock and he was confident the thing would fall like a house of cards.

The scene was total chaos. Various first responders were grouped together, some working on patients; some restraining other patients; a few working on securing the building as best they could. Members of the public were alternately crying and yelling and screaming; mourning loved ones; looking for loved ones; or simply raging at the injustice of mother nature and the universe conspiring against them. Buck sympathised intensely.

“They seriously think that's gonna hold it up?” Buck asked no one in particular, as he watched the engineers place steel beams under the folded building. As if the flimsy poles would stand a chance if it decided it was done hovering there.

“Let's go find the incident commander.” Bobby said as he too watched for a moment, likely forming the same conclusion Buck had.

“Any word from Athena?” Buck heard Hen ask Bobby as the team began weaving their way towards a group of tents that had been set up.

Buck had felt decidedly smug when Hen had started the bet that Bobby and Athena were sneaking around together and had immediately jumped onboard. Chim had been the only one of their group who had bet against it. He’d cried foul when Athena had kissed Bobby in full view of them, stating that they all had an unfair advantage. Apparently Hen using her inside knowledge from being Athena’s friend, and Eddie and Buck using their enhanced senses was ‘cheating’. Buck argued that it wasn’t their fault Chim didn’t have his own advantage.

“Haven't been able to get ahold of her. What about you? Karen? Denny?”

“Same. Cell phones are toast everywhere. The system must be overloaded.” Eddie grunted beside him, clearly also listening in on their conversation, equally unhappy at the lack of service.

Whilst Bobby and the Incident Chief discussed the details of the scene, Buck let his eyes wander over the building’s windows. His eyesight was better at night but it would still be way better than any human here. He figured Eddie might have the better vision between the two of them right now though, especially with Buck’s eyes still being irritated.

“A high-rise is supposed to be the safest place to be when an earthquake hits.” Buck said, almost absently, as Bobby and the Chief discussed the beams they’d seen being put in place.

“Not when you're built right on top of a fault line. This quake was a 7.1,” She informed them.

Hen gaped at her, “Northridge was just a 6.7.”

“7.1... that makes it the largest in SoCal in 20 years. And the last one was in Joshua Tree.” Chim replied grimly.

Once Bobby and the Chief had finished their briefing, Bobby turned to them, “Okay, listen up. Here's how you make it to the end of the day. You don't worry about the things that you can't do anything about. Focus on one task at a time.” He paused, taking a breath, before meeting each one of their eyes seriously. “I can't order you guys to go inside that building, and I'm not gonna judge you if you decide not to.”

“Hen, you’ve got a kid, so…”

“Yeah. And I'd hope if someone whose job it was to save him had the chance, they'd do it. No matter what.” She shot Chim a quelling look.

“Where do you want us?” Eddie asked as his own answer.

A police officer approached them before Bobby could assign them their tasks. “Hey, you guys will want to see this.” Raising his eyebrows, Bobby gestured for the team to follow as the officer made his way around to the collapsed side of the building.

Buck craned his head back, following the officer’s pointed finger, immediately seeing the issue. A man was pressed fully against a window, unmoving. When he squinted, he could just about make out cracks in the glass that was the only thing between him and the pavement way too far below him. The poor guy looked like he was only wearing a dressing gown as well.

“We could set up a bag street-side in case that window gives.” Chim suggested half-heartedly, clearly reluctant to be anywhere near the area the building was towering over.

“Nobody works under that side of the building. Somebody's gonna have to get him from the inside.”

Eddie leaned into Buck, their shoulders touching. Buck almost jumped from the resulting electric buzz, having been too absorbed in observing the patient to pay attention to his partner. “Buck, you say that's the 11th floor?” Buck took a moment to scan his eyes down, counting the floors.

“I would. I bet we could take the ladder to that fourth floor. Cut the distance in half.” Their eyes met, wordlessly agreeing to the plan, before both looking at Bobby.

He gave them a short nod, “Head on up.”

They quickly got the ladder in position, Buck clambering up after Eddie. As Eddie was breaking the glass, Buck took note of his tense shoulders and the prominent spice in his scent. “After Northridge, FEMA spent $200 million retrofitting every school in the LAUSD: Ceiling tiles, lighting fixtures.” Eddie continued pulling the glass shards out, not saying a word. “Eddie, your kid is in the safest place he can be.” He turned then and gave Buck a grateful but teasing smile.

“Thought that was a high-rise.” Buck snorted, conceding the point silently. They climbed in, quickly finding the stairwell, both of them staring up in resigned dismay at the now steeply angled staircase.

Eddie moved to begin the journey up, casually stating, “It's only six flights. Not exactly Mount Everest.” Buck raised an eyebrow, keeping a small distance behind him.

“Yeah, except Everest might not tip over and crush you like a bug,” Buck replied dryly.

The climb rapidly had Buck’s thighs burning and sweat collecting along the edge of his helmet. They completed it mostly in silence with Buck throwing out the occasional fact, hoping to make Eddie’s worry at least a little lighter or maybe just distract him from it.

Buck stumbled a little across the floor and into the wall with a soft ‘oof’ when he accidentally - on purpose - snuck a glance at Eddie’s ass right as his uniform stretched with his movements.

“You good, Buck?” Buck straightened his helmet, rolling his shoulders back testing the movement, hoping Eddie would write the redness of his cheeks off as exertion. He’d likely end up with one hell of a bruise but nothing that would affect him before he got home tonight. If he got time tonight, he amended, casting a dubious glance back down the tilted stairwell, brain back on the right track.

Eddie paused as Buck got his bearings, watching him carefully. Buck offered him a decisive nod. “Yeah.”

After what felt like an eternity, they crashed out of the stairwell, the hallway wall opposite helpfully stopping their momentum. They grimaced at each other, silently agreeing to take a minute to catch their breaths.

Eddie pushed off the wall first, “You ready?”

“Yeah,” Buck nodded, still a little breathless.

They called out over and over as they carefully navigated the hall. Halfway down, the occupants of the room finally heard them and called back. Eddie cocked his head as he listened.

“This one here.” Buck shifted the saw he’d been carrying on his hip to cut through the door lock and the door slammed open.

Buck entered first, catching himself on the door handle before he could tumble straight through the room. He angled himself into a controlled fall against the nearby bar, situating himself against it when it proved to be solidly attached to the floor. Eddie quickly joined him, unwinding the rope and carabiners to attach them to the front of Buck’s harness, whilst Buck surveyed the room.

The man they had seen from the ground was pressed between the glass window and a pile of furniture that was pinning him in place. There was also a woman curled up behind a crumbling pillar, her arms shaking where she was holding herself between it and the wall above her.

“Thank God. Please, please, get me out of here.” She cried desperately, wriggling to see them above her. Her foot came far too close to the edge of the pillar for Bucks comfort and he held a hand up to stop her.

“Whoa, whoa, ma'am, I-I need you to just sit tight. I will come and I will get you.” Buck took his turn in securing the ropes to the back of Eddie’s harness once Eddie was done with his, joining them together.

“Uh, no offence, but I think this might be a situation where "women and children first" does not apply.” The man called out, pain clear in his voice.

“Did you just say ‘no offence’? Everything about you is offensive.” Buck chuckled under his breath at the woman’s remark and he heard Eddie snort quietly.

“First date?” Buck couldn’t help but ask.

“God, he wishes. Amazingly, that sweaty, fat, pock-marked pig is married with five kids. Didn't stop him from asking me to shower with him!”

Buck shook his head incredulously. “Man, have you not watched the news at all over the past year?”

Eddie gave one last test tug on Buck’s harness. “All right, you're good,” He murmured. Buck returned the gesture.

“All right.”

“Seriously, catch up with the times.” Eddie called even as he slowly started making his way across the room towards the man.

“All right, fine, so I'm a dinosaur. A forgotten relic of a forgotten age. For God's sake, just get me the hell out of here. Hurry!”

Buck rolled his eyes, switching his attention from Eddie to the woman.”I'm gonna throw you a rope, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I'm gonna need you to try and secure yourself.”

“Okay.”

“You ready?”

“Yeah.”

“All right.” Buck tossed a length of rope to her, watching closely as she hurriedly tied it round her waist. It wouldn't be the best but it would have to do under the circumstances. They weren’t exactly spoiled for time right now.

“Don't move! Don't breathe.” Eddie’s shout had him looking over to check on him.

“Hurry. Hurry, it's starting to crack,” The man wailed. Sure enough, Buck could hear the quiet sounds of the cracks he'd seen from below growing.

“All right, I'm gonna come around to you. You need to stay totally still, Sir; don't even talk.”

Of course the patient immediately ignored Eddie’s order, letting loose a litany of ‘Oh, God’ and ‘Please don't let this be the end’. He could practically hear Eddie gritting his teeth, the spice spiking in his scent. “All right. I'm gonna tie this webbing around you and we're gonna get you away from the glass.”

Buck looked back at the woman to check on her progress just as she finished securing herself. “Okay, ma’am, when you’re ready I need you to start climbing up to me.”

“All right. Okay. I’m coming now.”

It was at that moment that Buck’s instincts went haywire again. Phantom whiskers twitching; tail flicking; claws itching. He was shouting out a warning before the tremor even started, “Aftershock! Aftershock!” The woman lost her footing, clinging onto the rope desperately and screaming. He yelled for her to hold on as he braced his feet wide against the bar.

“No, don't!” He glanced back at Eddie in time to see him reaching a hand out as the glass beneath the man shattered, sending him plummeting to the ground. He heard the dull thud as he landed seconds later, wincing first at the horrific noise and again when he spared a brief thought for the poor people who would have witnessed the whole thing.

He jerked his head around in horror when he suddenly lost the weight of the woman from the rope he was holding.

“Eddie! Eddie!” He yelled as he helplessly watched the woman tumble towards the shattered windows. Somehow Eddie managed to launch himself across the room just in time to catch her hand as she fell out of the broken window. Buck watched on in horror, unable to do anything but hold their weight with the rope attached to Eddie.

“Give me your other hand.” Eddie shouted over the woman’s screams. Buck had never been more grateful that Eddie was a shifter than now as he deadlifted the woman back into the room, holding her tightly to his chest with one arm whilst steadily pulling himself up the rope with the other. Buck began reeling in the rope from his end until he could reach out his hand to grasp Eddie’s forearm, hauling them both up to his side of the bar.

Buck rubbed his forehead against Eddie’s minutely for a split second out of sheer relief, before pulling away and securing the woman properly to them. He ignored the soft surprised curve to Eddie’s lips, concentrating more than necessary on his task as an excuse to avoid eye contact. The grounding earthy part of his scent suddenly overwhelmed the earlier spice as Eddie placed his hand between Buck’s neck and shoulder, squeezing slightly. “You good?” he asked softly. Buck breathed out heavily, nodding stiffly.

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re good to go.” Buck cleared his throat, leading the way out of the hotel room and back into the relative safety of the hallway before Eddie could read too far into his moment of weakness.

They kept the woman- Ali -between them as they traversed down the staircase. Buck had secured a rope between the two of them, bringing up the rear of their group so that Eddie could alternate between scouting ahead and helping Ali down the tougher sections.

She’d quietly voiced her concern about the man’s body still being on the sidewalk when they got out but Buck had been quick to assure her it wouldn’t be. She didn’t need to know that the body would be there until either the building fully collapsed, and the debris was cleared away, or engineers could secure it enough to safely work under it. It didn’t matter in any case because they wouldn’t be going out that side of the building so Ali should have no reason to have to see that particular sight on top of the terrible day she was probably already having. It wasn’t everyday you got trapped in a room with a guy, who had been in the middle of sexually harassing you, because of an earthquake.

Eddie held out his hand to help Ali over a large gap. “Let's hustle up, you two. We don't want to be here for the next aftershock.” He’d said it a little sharply and the spice bloomed in his scent but Buck could see the worry in his eyes. Ali had just stretched her leg over, clutching onto his hand, when she froze. Her head shot up and Buck could hear her breathing pick up.

Wait, what do you mean, the next aftershock?” Eddie met Buck’s eyes over her shoulder with a barely-there grimace. Buck grinned a little; Eddie seemed to be in a constant state of putting his foot in his mouth, usually with the worst possible timing. Now that Buck had gotten past the pretty awful first impression Eddie had managed to give him, when he first put his foot in his mouth with Buck, he found it increasingly amusing every time it happened.

Come on. There we go. You're gonna be fine. He's right behind you.” Eddie encouraged as he pulled her the rest of the way across, ignoring her question and wide eyes. He took the opportunity of a smoother section to jog down the next flight and away from the situation of his making. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, they were all quickly distracted.

Eddie came to a dead stop as he rounded the corner. “Oh, you gotta be kidding me,” Buck heard him mutter under his breath before he was looking back up at them, “We're not getting out this way.” Buck and Ali leant over the bannister to see the problem.

Now what?” Ali sighed as they took in the giant pile of rubble that completely blocked the staircase.

“We go back up.” Eddie bounded up the stairs, passing them to take the lead. Ali turned to give Buck a pleading look.

Back up?”

Rather than answer verbally Buck reversed their positions, reaching to help her across to Eddie once again. She sighed loudly but seemed to realise there was no point in objecting; it’s not like there was anywhere else they could go. It was a longer process getting her up the stairs than it had been down them, and Buck was thankful they only had to go up to the next accessible floor.

Just as they were pulling the door open to get into the hallway their radios crackled to life. As on any scene it had been happening often enough that neither of them immediately paid attention but it was the almost undetectable tremor in Bobby’s voice that had Buck pausing so that he could give it his full attention. Ladder 118, respond. This is Captain Nash. I need a headcount.”

Eddie reached for his radio, shooting Buck a quizzical look as he noted his newly alert posture. “Ladder 118 responding. Diaz, Buckley, we're good, Cap.” The others sounded off, with one glaring absence. Buck gulped, meeting Eddie’s eyes as he too realised there was something up.

“Hen, do you copy? Hen? This is Captain Nash for Henrietta Wilson. Do you copy?” There was no response.

Is that a friend of yours?” Ali asked. Buck could see her glancing between them but he couldn’t look away from Eddie’s worried eyes, trying to ground himself in them. Hen would be fine. Cap and Chim were obviously looking for her and there wasn’t anything Buck could do except get their current patient out quickly, and safely, so that he could join them. Eddie seemed to read his need, maintaining their eye contact.

They couldn’t stay there forever, however, and Eddie eventually looked away to pull the door open, ushering both Ali and Buck through with a quiet, “Let's keep moving.”

Buck and Eddie contemplated a floorplan of the hotel hung on the wall as Ali leant on the wall behind them. They pointed out the stairwell they were aiming for, which was behind a blocked door. Thankfully this blockage was smaller and they should be able to clear it enough to get through. “What if it's blocked, too? Can't you guys get a ladder into one of the windows?” She asked. Buck expected Eddie’s scent to spike with spice at the question, and implication behind it, but he seemed too focused on shifting the material blocking their way.

It's too risky. Building’s shifted too much.” He replied offhandedly, foot metaphorically creeping toward his mouth again.

Buck hastened to add, “No, we got this. We'll get you out of here,” lest the reminder of their predicament caused her to panic. So far she’d been pretty calm but everyone had their limit.

Buck was helping Eddie when he heard a soft clinking behind them. They both paused in their work to check on Ali, only to find her helping herself to the mini bar top ups that had been abandoned on a housekeeping cart. “What? It's after 5: It's not like it slowed us down,” She inclined her head at the still blocked door. Buck snorted but he heard Eddie sigh with a minute shake of his head.

Just as Buck was reaching to pull out what looked to be a chunk of ceiling, he thought he heard a voice calling out. Buck placed his hand on Eddie’s forearm, holding his other up to Ali when she opened her mouth to say something. He concentrated once they were both still and quiet. He heard the faint voice again, just about making out the words this time, “Is anyone there?”

“You guys hear that?” Buck asked unnecessarily. Based on Ali's expression she hadn’t heard anything but Eddie had turned in the direction of the voice. They quickly moved back down the hallway, Ali rushing after them. The voice called again just as they reached the door they both thought it had come from. Buck and Eddie grinned at each other appreciatively before kicking the door open.

I knew help would come,” The man gushed gratefully from his prone position on the floor. He didn’t move an inch, not even watching them make their way to him.

“That's right. We're here, we got you, buddy,” Eddie called reassuringly as he fell to his knees beside him.

“All right, don't move. Just relax, okay? I need you to stay as still as possible.” Buck cupped his hands on either side of his head, keeping him still. Eddie nodded at him but verbalised the plan for the patient’s benefit anyway.

“Okay, we got to roll him over. On three. One, two, three.” The poor guy screamed and Buck winced sympathetically. Eddie leaned over him to inspect his back. The man’s cheeks heated under Buck’s thumbs, where he was holding him still, and his mumble was so quiet Buck almost missed it.

I... uh, I soiled myself.”

“Forget about that, okay?” Eddie replied kindly, shooting Buck a grim look. This was not looking good.

Not my proudest moment.

Can you wiggle your toes for me?” They both watched as there wasn’t so much as a twitch. Eddie indicated his head further into the room as they carefully rolled him onto his back.

They slid down to the bottom of the room, looking around once they were there. “Numbness in his legs, loss of bladder control.” Buck recounted softly so the patient wouldn’t hear them.

“Spinal injury,” Eddie confirmed. “We got to move him out now.”

“On what? We don't have a backboard, and every millimetre counts. “

You see anything?” Buck was already shaking his head before Eddie finished the question. The room was frustratingly bare.

“Guys. What about this?” They looked up to see Ali holding an ironing board, smiling proudly. They glanced at each other. Eddie’s lips twitched before shrugging.

“Could work, but how are we gonna get him down the stairwell?” Buck tilted his head consideringly before allowing a small smile to grow on his face.

He had an idea and he was almost entirely sure Eddie was going to hate. Bobby would almost certainly call it reckless which only meant it would work but no one would be happy about it. They were Buck’s favourite kind of plans if he was being honest. Eddie narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Buck. “Maybe we don't use the stairwell.”

Chapter 5

Summary:

The earthquake (Part 2)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

At least we're not blocked by any debris,” was all Eddie said as they checked the elevator shaft. He had glared at Buck for a solid 30 seconds before giving into his plan with a heavy sigh.

“Or an elevator. Um, how much do you think that weighs?” Ali was equally dubious about said plan, even more so for spotting that the elevator would be above them. But it was going to work. Buck knew it would.

“2500. 3000 pounds?” Eddie deadpanned. He shot another glare Buck’s way. Buck grinned back unrepentantly.

“I like our chances.” Eddie gave a long suffering sigh, shining his torch up and down again before pulling back.

“Yeah.” Buck enjoyed his lack of enthusiasm.

Getting the patient- Batari -secured to the ironing board, and then to Eddie for the descent, was a little tricky but they managed and were soon lowering him down, Eddie rappelling with him. As Eddie kept an eye on Batari, Buck turned his attention to Ali, who had been mostly quiet for the past few minutes. “How you feeling?”

She replied with a sarcastic, “Not dead yet.” Well she wasn’t wrong.

Eight more feet, Buck.” Eddie called louder than necessary for the two of them but he figured he’d done it more for Ali’s benefit. Buck lowered them carefully, watching closely for Eddie’s signal that he was level with the door. “All right. Get down here, Buck.”

“All right, on my way.” He turned to Ali, “You ready?” She gulped loudly, eyes never leaving the dark abyss they were about to descend into. Yeah, he couldn’t fault her for her hesitation.

“Okay.”

All right.” Buck lifted her so that she could wrap her legs around his waist, keeping both hands on his own rope as he carefully climbed over the ledge and began walking them down the shaft. Ali’s legs tightened and she buried her head in his shoulder. “You're okay. You're okay,” he murmured. It was at that exact moment that his phantom whiskers began twitching. Buck wanted to groan at the goddamned timing of it all but he settled for just shuffling them lower at a faster pace.

Is the building vibrating?” Batari asked dazedly right as Eddie looked up at Buck in horror.

Buck yelled to get him moving, “Eddie! Eddie, kick that door open!” Ali muffled a scream against him as Buck made a quick controlled drop. “I got you, okay?” he reassured even as she screamed again.

Eddie finally got the door shoved open and swung himself and Batari through, poking his head back out to shout up to him. “Let's go, Buck! Move your ass!”

All right, here we come. Here we come!” Buck loosened his grip almost entirely, until they were level with the door, and then he grabbed hold with all of his strength, causing them to swing out and then in through the doorway. They tumbled through just as the elevator’s cable snapped, sending it flying past them.

Buck panted heavily, holding still, the adrenaline catching up to him. Finally, he took stock of where he’d landed only to realise he’d seemingly used Eddie to cushion his fall. Not that Eddie was rushing to get him off. His hands were gripping tightly onto Buck’s arms and his eyes were staring intently into Buck’s, only inches apart. Part of Buck would be happy to stay there forever but he forced himself to lift up so that he was practically in a plank above him. He glanced over to see Ali laid on her back next to them, also appearing to slowly come to the realisation that they had actually made it. Buck turned back to Eddie, their faces still close enough that he could feel Eddie’s fast breaths fanning across his face.

I told you I liked our chances,” Buck taunted cheekily. Eddie narrowed his eyes at him.

“I hate you.” Buck grinned at the lack of heat in his statement.

“No you don’t.”

“I do when your heavy ass is pinning me to the floor.” Buck could smell the lie of that as the musk in his scent became more prominent; barely any spice to be found.

“Yeah? Tell that to your scent, Diaz.” Eddie frowned in confusion.

“What?”

“Are you two going to keep flirting or can we finally get the hell out of here?” Ali interrupted them and Buck scrambled off and up in record time, offering his hand to both Eddie and Ali to help them up. Eddie too seemed to shelve whatever had caused his confusion, heading to check on Batari.

“Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

They both stood stubbornly in front of the Chief as they listened to her not only refuse their request for help in finding Hen, but also their request to go back in by themselves. “Look, Chief, I don’t know how you do it but in our firehouse we never leave a man behind, let alone three of them. I know for a fact that Captain Nash and Firefighter Han will not be leaving that building until they’ve done everything they possibly can to rescue Firefighter Wilson, and maybe not even then. So you can either leave them to die in there or we can go and actually do our jobs and save their lives.”

Buck made to stomp off, more than willing to sneak in when her back was turned, but Eddie stayed him with a hand wrapped around his wrist.

“Buck’s right, Chief; the 118 doesn’t leave a man behind. Captain Nash radioed for equipment and with a location. That shows that they know where Wilson is and what they need to get her out. They just need a little help to do it quicker. So the faster we get them what they need, the faster everyone gets out and goes home to their families.” She appraised them for a second before her shoulders dropped a little.

“Alright, Buckley, Diaz; you’ve made your case.” She reached for her radio, staring them in the eyes as she did. “This is Chief Williams, I’m asking for volunteers only. I need every heavy duty piece of equipment we have, and every available pair of willing hands, down to the southern corner of the garage, level B, ASAP.”

Buck twisted his wrist so that he was gripping Eddie’s, tugging him along behind him as he rushed for their equipment.

Buck heard their voices as they finally made it down to their location. “What happened?” Chim was asking.

Chain snapped.”

We have any more chain?”

No. But I think it's far enough out that we can get back behind it and push it out the rest of the way.”

Buck jogged around the corner, letting out a small sigh of relief seeing the two of them there in one piece. Eddie was at his side in the next second and they took in the scene.

There was a pickup truck facing them with a piece of chain laying on the floor between it and a wall of debris and rubble, with a car seemingly having been towed out most of the way. Like a giant game of Jenga.

“Looks like we got here just in time, then.”

“Yeah, seems like they were planning on having all the fun without us,” Eddie joked, smiling as Bobby and Chim whipped around, clearly surprised to see them.

Buck held up his saw as an offering, “Heard over the radio you needed some equipment and available hands down here.”

“You know you guys are disobeying a direct order.” It was said seriously enough but Buck knew Bobby well enough to see the twitch of his lips and the mix of pride and relief in his eyes.

Before he could defend himself, the Chief and the others caught up to them. Buck and Eddie may have been a bit more eager to get here than the rest. “And they'll be duly reprimanded, as soon as we're done here.”

“Looks like you're gonna have to reprimand yourself, as well.”

“I'm seriously considering it. Your people are very persuasive and persistent.” She shot Buck and Eddie a reluctantly impressed look. Buck couldn’t help the shit-eating grin he gave Bobby when the Cap rolled his eyes at him. “One shot, Captain. Either way, no one's coming to rescue us.”

The few shifters within the group took up position to push the car out of the way, human firefighters rushing in after to place support beams so that the hole didn’t collapse. Finally, they were pulling the last big piece of concrete out of the way.

Buck coughed involuntarily as dust flew everywhere but he determinedly kept his eyes open and on the newly opened passage. “Hen? Hen, are you there?” He thought he heard faint footsteps and…small paws? A figure appeared in the gloom.

“Hey, fellas.” Hen’s voice was dry and tired but it was alive and so full of relief and gratitude Buck could cry. He rushed to her, wrapping his arms around her waist before using his hold to gently lower her down the step.

All right, let's get you out of here. Come on.”

“Down here, we got you. Watch your step.” Chim took her arm and she leant heavily against him, giving a choked laugh.

“Alright, good job everyone. Now let’s get the hell out of here,” the Chief called as everyone was stepping forward just to touch some part of the rescued firefighter. A little girl was passed to someone to carry out, along with a scruffy little white dog.

The truck was eerily quiet on the drive back to the station. Hen had been sent to the hospital to get checked out after she had apparently fallen through the building. Chim had been ordered to go along with her, initially for support but then Hen had said he needed to keep a hold of the dog since Hen would ‘damn well be keeping the dog that saved her life’. So he was currently standing outside the hospital, with the dog, waiting on Hen to get the all clear.

Eddie had finally gotten through to his son’s school when they’d gotten service just before getting into the truck, so he was thoroughly distracted in checking up on him and the rest of his loved ones. Buck had texted Maddie but she was the only one he really needed to hear from and who needed to hear from him. He felt a sudden wave of loneliness. At least when Abby had been around he could pretend that he had someone to go home to. Maddie didn’t really count in that respect.

“I won’t mention your insubordination if you don’t mention mine.” Bobby’s tired voice floated through Buck’s headset. He was surprised that he hadn’t immediately contacted Athena but he seemed content in the knowledge that he would have heard if something had happened by now. Buck mustered up enough energy to grin at the back of his head.

“Deal.”

Before the truck had even stopped moving Eddie was out of the door and beelining for his locker. He had shucked his gear; grabbed his duffle; and was out of the station before Buck could so much as unclip his radio. He blinked in surprise but smiled wistfully at the amount of love he clearly had for his son. What he wouldn’t give to- Stop, the pity party right there, Buckley. He shook himself. Those were dangerous thoughts to fall into when he was this exhausted.

Moving as though he were knee deep in mud, Buck eventually struggled his way into his civvies and out to his jeep. He heard a soft grunt behind him and scented Eddie on the wind. He turned in confusion, only to find Eddie unexpectedly pacing the parking lot, his eyes glued to his phone. Dumping his bag into his back seat, Buck approached him cautiously. “Eds?” Eddie’s head whipped up but he didn’t say anything. Buck cast a glance behind Eddie to his truck but saw nothing immediately wrong. “Everything okay? What are you still doing here?”

“Truck’s stuck.” It was as though the words had been pulled from the very depths of his gut and Eddie’s eyes alarmingly flashed amber. Clearly it had been a long day and this was one issue too many in a day that had been full of them.

“Okay, here, grab your bag and anything else you need; I'll drive you.” That stopped Eddie in his tracks.

“You would…I’m sure you’re tired too, Buck. I ordered an Uber, you don’t have to.” Rolling his eyes fondly, Buck stepped forward; snagged Eddie’s arm; and pulled him over to the passenger side of the Jeep. He took Eddie’s bag from him, quickly tucking it in the back with his. Opening the passenger side door he urged Eddie in and passed him his phone, open to the Maps app.

“Put the address in.” He snatched Eddie’s keys from his lax hands and stepped back, closing Eddie in.

Buck jogged across to Eddie’s truck, somehow finding the energy now that he had a real need for it. Without Eddie standing in the way, he could see the thick branch that had fallen and was blocking the vehicle in. Nimbly hopping over the limb, Buck opened the back door to grab the car seat that he had suspected would be there. He remembered seeing the crutches in the photo Eddie had shown him earlier and, besides that, the kid had looked small enough to at least need a booster seat. Not that Buck had much hands-on experience with kids but they’d been to enough car accidents for him to know the importance of them.

When he opened his back seat door, behind the drivers side, Eddie made to get out, spotting the car seat in his hands. Buck reached out and laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “I’ve got it, Eddie.” Eddie settled back but watched as Buck wrestled the thing into position. “Good?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, sorry.” Eddie quickly spun to face forwards but Buck caught the faint pink of his cheeks and the rueful twist of his lips. Buck climbed in, noting his phone was already in its holder and ready to go.

“Don’t be sorry, Eddie; you’re just making sure your kid is gonna be safe.”

“I haven’t done a great job of that today.” Buck could hear the self deprecation thick in his tone. He chanced a quick tap to the side of his thigh before returning his hand to the wheel.

“Eddie, man, cut yourself some slack. You tried; it’s not your fault you were working and then there was no service. Soon as it was technologically feasible you were checking on him. There was nothing else to be done and you knew he was safe at school.”

Eddie muttered mutinously, “But I didn't know that.” Buck sighed, this was not a battle he could win right now; exhausted and not knowing Eddie enough to know exactly what to say to reassure him. The two of them lapsed into silence but it was a comfortable one.

Buck wasn’t used to silences being comfortable but he had no desire to fill this one. Maybe it was that he didn’t have the energy to feel the tension or maybe it was how at ease he instinctively felt with Eddie. Buck mused that he’d been more uncomfortable with not feeling uncomfortable around Eddie, from the very start, than he had been actually uncomfortable around the guy. Even when Eddie’s foot was so far into his mouth it was like he was attempting to shove it down his throat. That brought a small smile to Buck’s face. He noticed Eddie glancing at him and something about his expression must have helped relax Eddie too, making him settle back into his seat a bit.

“Thank you, Buck.” It was said quietly, not breaching the peaceful bubble they were in.

“You don’t need to thank me; anyone would do the same.” Eddie gave him his own small smile then.

“No they wouldn’t.” Buck snorted but shrugged, shooting a quick look sideways.

“Agree to disagree.”

“Sure, Buck.”

Eddie seemed to become twitchy the closer they got to the school and once again was launching himself out of a moving vehicle when they pulled up outside. Buck watched from his seat as the wolf ran straight to the little boy, immediately holding him tightly and spinning him in his arms. A pang of longing hit Buck and he let out a small pathetic hum, safe in the confines of the car. The smile on his face was bittersweet.

The father and son took their time getting to the Jeep, Eddie walking at his son’s pace with all the patience in the world now that they were reunited. Eventually, Eddie was helping the boy up into his seat and strapping him in. “Christopher, this is my friend, Buck, from work.” Buck eagerly twisted and offered out a hand.

“Hi, Christopher, it’s great to meet you.” He received a shy smile and a tentative shake.

“Are you a shifter? Daddy said he had a friend at work who was a cat shifter.” Buck grinned at him, raising a quick eyebrow at Eddie who ducked his head away, apparently now needing all of his concentration to work the seat’s buckle.

“I am.” Buck could smell that Christopher himself wasn’t a shifter, which made him even more curious about his mother, but he made no mention of it. He’d only just found out about the boy’s existence today afterall.

“What kind of cat are you?” Buck covered his discomfort with an easy grin.

“Chris, you can’t just ask people that.” Eddie sounded embarrassed and shot Buck an apologetic look.

Buck winked at the boy conspiratorially, “It’s a secret.” The boy's eyes widened comically.

“Like a secret identity?” Buck’s grin stretched.

“Exactly. What about you, little man, you got any secret identities?”

“Can’t tell you or they won’t be secrets,” he replied in a singsong voice. Buck laughed, starting the Jeep as Eddie got back in.

“You got me there, Christopher.” The boy seemed mightily pleased at that and enthusiastically launched into a discussion of superheroes and all of their secret identities. Eddie didn’t intervene in their conversation, seemingly content to let them chat with each other.

By the time Buck was pulling up in front of Eddie’s house, they’d covered everything from dinosaurs to maths. Christopher apparently loved maths but his dad was terrible at it.. Eddie was apparently terrible at cooking too.

“I’ll have to see if I can get our Captain to teach him at the station for you, Chris, he’s a really good cook.”

“Not even Abuela can teach him, Buck.” His tone was full of exasperation and Buck found himself laughing at his sass.

“Hey! I’m not that bad.”

Chris replied mournfully, “Yes, you are, dad; you burn the toast every morning.”

“Maybe we just need a new toaster.”

“We got a new toaster last month!” Eddie’s face spasmed slightly in disbelief at the betrayal. Buck was bent over laughing at this point and both Diazes stopped their back and forth, Chris too busy laughing with him and Eddie grinning at them.

“Alright alright, you little traitor. Let’s get you inside so that Buck can get home to his bed, yeah?”

They made quick work of getting their things out and Eddie passed Chris his keys as he went ahead whilst he lingered next to the Jeep. Buck rolled his window down, tilted his head questioningly. “Seriously, thank you, Buck.”

“Don’t mention it, man, literally the least I could do.”

“Not just for the lift,” he gestured his thumb behind him. Buck understood instantly, his face softening.

“He’s a great kid, Eddie, I enjoyed chatting with him; thanks for letting me.”

“Not that either of you gave me much choice,” he teased. “Well I'll let you get going, drive safe and text me when you’re home?” Buck offered him a soft smile even as he rolled his eyes.

“Yes, dad.” Eddie rolled his eyes in return but didn’t rescind his request. “Okay, I promise I'll text you. Get some sleep, Eddie. What time should I pick you up tomorrow?” Eddie frowned at him.

“What do you mean?”

“Tomorrow. You have a shift and your truck is at the station?” When he continued to frown, Buck sighed loudly. “Eddie, come on, I’m picking you up but if you need to get Chris somewhere obviously I'll need to come earlier. So, what time?”

“Buck, you really don’t-”

“I’m here regardless, Eddie, whether I'm here late or not is up to you.” Eddie crossed his arms, trying to stand his ground but Buck just offered him a serene smile, communicating that he wasn’t budging an inch.

“He has to be at school for 08:30.” It was said resignedly but Buck could see the small smile Eddie was trying to hide.

“Okay, I’ll see you both tomorrow bright and early.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow, Buck.” He tapped the side of the Jeep and took a step back. Buck made an ‘after you gesture’ when Eddie made no move to enter his house. Buck could see the sigh Eddie let out before shaking his head, but he did finally go inside. Buck allowed himself a grin before pulling away.

Notes:

The next chapter will be from Eddie POV :)

Chapter 6

Summary:

Eddie reminisces on Buck's and his first few shifts together

Chapter Text

Eddie pulled up outside his Abuela’s house, jumping out of his truck quickly to open Christopher’s door for him. “All right, bud. Dad's running a little behind, come on.”

“Eddito.” Abuela called out the greeting as she started down her porch steps. Eddie held the door open but made sure to keep a step back so that Chris didn’t feel crowded as he clumsily climbed down.

“Morning, Abuela.”

“Eddie, help him out.”

Eddie stood his ground. He knew his Abuela meant well, that she didn’t mean it in the way his parents did, but he couldn’t help the instinctive tensing of his shoulders. “He wants to do it.” Chris happily climbed down, ignoring them, grinning over at her as he carefully navigated the uneven path.

“Hola, mi angel.” She leant down to give him a quick squeeze.

“Hola,” Chris greeted back; Eddie grinned at the happiness evident in his tone, his shoulders relaxing slightly.

“Thank you for taking him.” He handed over Chris’ backpack. She gave him a fond smile that settled Eddie’s hackles the rest of the way. No, she hadn’t meant it that way.

“Taking him is not a problem; giving him back, that's the hard part.”

Okay.” He ruffled Chris’ hair before moving away, his mind already on work, praying that L.A traffic would give him a break today.

“Edmundo.” He stopped abruptly at his Abuela’s tone. “Where's the fire?” He laughed lightly but jogged back to give her a peck on the cheek. That's better. Now go to work.”

“Okay. Okay.” He dropped a quick kiss on top of Chris' head, calling out, “Later, buddy,” as he rushed back to his truck. He heard the two of them chattering in Spanish before he pulled away.

Somehow he managed to make it to the station early, arriving before the rest of the team, except for Cap who was holed up in his office with C shift’s Captain for changeover. Eddie started a fresh batch of coffee, leaning back against the counter as he relaxed for the first time that morning. He cast his eye over the rota calendar absently and suddenly realised he’d been at the 118 for only a month. It felt like he’d been there for years. He still remembered clearly how he’d felt sitting in Cap’s office for his interview.

Eddie had wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans, sitting stiffly in the chair across from the desk, as he waited for the Captain. Cap had given him a polite smile as he took his seat. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“That’s no problem, Sir.”

“‘Bobby’ please or ‘Cap’ if you prefer; we don’t stand on ceremony here.” He’d picked up Eddie’s application, looking it over. “So, Eddie, I can see you’ve got outstanding test results and an impeccable record. Lots of good recommendations, from teachers and classmates alike. And it says here you’re a shifter?” Cap had given him his full attention then, placing the piece of paper back down.

“Yes, Si- Cap. A wolf shifter.” The captain had hummed contemplatively.

“Would you say you work well with other shifters?”

“I would; my old squadron had quite a few shifters and my CO himself was a fox shifter.” Cap had nodded but narrowed his eyes assessingly. Eddie had had the urge to fidget in his seat but had forced himself to stay still.

“I’ll be straight with you here, Eddie. I’m looking for a partner for one of my guys. He’s young and a little impulsive but he’s a good man and a good firefighter. But he’s a feline shifter, would that be a problem for you?”

Eddie had given the proposal serious consideration; he had seen that his answer was important to Cap and so he hadn’t answered immediately; taking his time to think it through. “I can control my instincts, Sir, and if he doesn’t have an issue with it then neither will I.” Cap had sat back with a genuine smile then.

“Excellent. Then I'd like to offer you the position.”

Eddie had, of course, been hated by his supposed partner on sight. Not that Eddie could blame him once he’d reflected back on their first interaction.

Cap had brought the team over to introduce them and he’d immediately sensed that it was the tall, blonde man who was the feline shifter. Eddie didn’t use his enhanced senses as much as he should but he’d been unable to ignore his scent at that moment. It had teased him; drew him in; and, much to Eddie’s detriment, had caught him completely off guard.

His eyes had dropped to the shifter’s neck, more to confirm what his senses had been telling him, but he had been shocked to see no bite scar. Eddie had frowned at the skin, as if he thought that if he stared hard enough a scar would magically appear. But the neck had remained frustratingly smooth. He hadn’t been able to make sense of it. Everything had been telling him the guy was a Bitten shifter but there was no scar.

He’d answered on autopilot as Cap had introduced the team, flicking his eyes briefly to each person respectively but he’d always returned to that bare neck. Eddie just hadn’t been able to wrap his head around the fact that his nose was telling him one thing but his eyes were telling him another. That was what he got for never using his senses fully.

When the man had finally been introduced, Eddie had flicked his eyes up to his face but Buck was busy frowning at Cap. Eddie had been unable to resist his eyes dropping back down. “You don’t have a scar.” Eddie had winced internally when it had come out sounding like an accusation. He hadn't been able to help it though; focused as he’d been on his own confusion.

“Uh, is he supposed to?” Chimney had asked, sounding unsure. Eddie had started speaking without thinking, used to explaining shifter things to Chris.

“Well, yeah, since he was…” He finally made eye contact with Buck only to find startling blue eyes glaring coldly at him. Eddie had trailed off awkwardly, his eyes widened as he’d registered the others expressions. Chimney had still looked unsure but Hen had looked uncomfortable and Cap had been wincing.

“Since he was…?” Chim had asked when Eddie hadn’t continued his sentence. Eddie had glanced between the teams’ faces again, settling on Buck’s, who had had a challenging glint in his eye, as Eddie had tried to stumble out an answer since it was clear the team hadn’t known.

“Uh, he was, um-”

“Bitten.” Buck had finished sharply, his eyes hadn't left Eddie’s for a moment. Eddie had resolutely kept his mouth shut lest he rambled out something else to offend the guy. Thankfully the bell had sounded soon after. Buck had pushed past him before Eddie could offer up an apology or explanation though. Hen had at least seemed sympathetic but Cap had given him a hard look.

The next shift had had another incident of Eddie being an idiot. He remembered he had been doing his best to avoid Buck and had barely spoken when he was around. He knew he had a horrible habit of saying the absolute worst thing at the worst time so he had resolved to at least not make the situation any worse.

The team had encouraged him to speak to Buck, after he’d explained that he just hadn’t thought before he’d spoken, due entirely to his own confusion. They’d reassured him that Buck was a great guy and would hear him out if only Eddie could gather the courage to make the first move.

He had finally summoned that courage on their next shift when he’d spotted Buck working out alone in the gym. He’d hoped with Buck not facing him he could get his apology out before he could be thrown off by those cold blue eyes. Unfortunately, Eddie had failed to consider the effect that seeing the shifter’s naked back would apparently have on him.

Eddie had always known he’d been attracted to men but, like most things that made him different in his family, it was something he’d always avoided acknowledging. But when he’d stepped into that gym and laid eyes on Buck’s bare back, there wasn’t anything to be done but acknowledge it.

Eddie had found himself admiring the play of muscles across his wide smooth back. Buck’s skin had looked deliciously creamy, even under the horrific lighting. Sweat had been dotted along the strong lines, with trails disappearing under Buck’s trim waistband. Eddie’s eyes had then gotten a little stuck on Buck’s ass but he’d decided not to judge himself too harshly for that. Buck’s ass had made Eddie salivate and his canines burn. He’d resolutely averted his eyes but he had only been able to go so far, once again admiring the push and pull of muscles as Buck had lifted the weights over and over.

Eddie hadn’t known how long he’d stood there, fascinated by Buck’s form, before the shifter had dropped the weights and swivelled to face him. “What?”

“What, man?” Eddie had tried to act nonchalantly but he’d known he’d missed it by a mile based on Buck’s glare.

“Like what you see or something, Diaz?” Dios mio, but he had, Buck was, in a word, beautiful. He’d tried to excuse himself anyway, as he fought a blush.

“Sorry, no. I just-” He’d had no idea what he thought he could say, ‘yeah man your ass is a thing of beauty how am I not meant to stare’, yeah, no thanks. What had come out instead had been a confrontational, “What’s your problem, man?” Eddie had taken a step closer, helpless against the almost magnetic pull he felt to Buck, but he had also won the fight to not let his eyes drop to check out Buck’s chest, so it hadn’t been a complete failure of control. Definitely a missed opportunity though.

“Okay. You. You're my problem. Your comfort level. You're not supposed to just walk in here like you've been here for years. It's meant-meant to be a getting-to-know-you period. Yet you just walk in here; blurt out my business to everyone; and then you come and stare at me for a solid five minutes because why?” And, oh, but Eddie had felt his face heating at that.

“I wasn’t star-”

“You were,” Buck had growled, leaning closer. Eddie had held his breath in an effort to not let himself close the gap. “I could feel you doing it. So don’t lie to my face. What the hell is your game here, Diaz?” Eddie had been floored when the wolf side of him had surged suddenly, desperate to respond to Buck’s aggression and put him in his place. What in the actual- He’d forced himself back a step and raised his hands, he’d hoped to calm the situation, and himself, down.

“Look, I in no way meant to, uh, be too familiar or step on anybody's toes. Or blurt out your status. And I know you're going through some personal stuff right now. I’m sorry for uh, staring, you know, I was just, um, I guess I was curious as to where your bite was.”

“What personal stuff?” Buck had frowned and cocked his head to the side in a gesture that Eddie should not have found so adorable.

“I know your girlfriend recently broke up with you and you're coming to terms with that.” As he’d watched Buck roll his eyes he’d had the sudden feeling he had been saying the wrong thing yet again.

“I'm not ‘coming to terms’ with shit.” Eddie had scrambled to say something that wasn’t offensive to the guy.

“I'm just saying I hear you're a good guy, and…” Eddie had paused, he’d tried his best to think before he spoke for once in his life. “I'm sorry you're going through pain and I'm sorry if I added to that by putting my foot in it last shift. I really didn’t mean to, man; I was just surprised, uh. But... you don't need to be threatened by me or anything. We're on the same team.”

“Why would I be threatened by you?”

“Exactly. There's no need to be. We do the same thing. I've just done it while people are shooting at me is all.” He’d almost smiled then, hearing how stupid that sounded out loud.

“Look, Diaz.” Eddie had wanted to wince, the whole’ Diaz’ thing had been getting old fast. “My business is exactly that, mine. So stay out of it. I don’t need you walking around the station talking about my bite, or seeming lack thereof, or my ex-girlfriend for that matter. I don’t need you staring holes into my back or whatever the hell you were doing. And if you’re so curious about where my bite is, you’ll have to take me to dinner first.” Eddie had almost swallowed his tongue then, his face burning. Apparently Buck had his number already and could have outed him. Eddie felt he had definitely given him enough reason to do it just to spite him.

Any desire he’d felt to explain himself had died immediately under his own shame. “Right, uh, yeah, sorry. It, uh, won’t happen again. Sorry.” The bell had saved him again and, that time, he’d managed to step out of Buck’s way before he could be pushed past.

The tension between the two had lasted right up until they were pulling a grenade out of a guy's leg. Eddie could remember being stunned when Buck had held his hand out with a smile, promising to have his back. From that moment on he’d only seen Golden Retriever Buck, as Hen liked to call him, much to Buck’s dismay. His 180 had definitely taken Eddie by surprise but he couldn’t help but feel comfortable around the feline shifter. They’d already been on their way to friends but, after the earthquake and the way Buck had taken care of Eddie both during and after it, had solidified Buck as his friend.

The coffee machine beeping brought Eddie out of his musings and he smiled softly as he picked up the sound of Buck’s laugh from downstairs. Eddie made one cup of black coffee and another chock full of sugar and milk. He wrinkled his nose as he pushed the monstrosity over just as Buck reached his side. “Thanks, man.”

“I don’t know how you drink that crap.” Buck hummed as he blew gently into his cup.

“Guess my taste buds are just more refined than yours,” he smirked and Eddie’s heart gave its usual thump that it did whenever Buck seemed to do anything. Dios mio but he really was so fucked.

Chapter 7

Summary:

Buck is helpful and Eddie can't cope

Chapter Text

She's over here. Holy crap, you are hot. Okay, guys, the strippers are here.” Eddie secretly agreed with the woman as he eyed Buck’s broad back parting the crowd, leaving behind a trail of his infuriating scent.

Excuse me, coming through.” Buck’s voice boomed, carrying effortlessly over the jeers from the packed bar. “Excuse me, clear a path. Coming through, thank you, thank you... thank you.” Eddie caught a quick glimpse of a mechanical bull and tacky cowboy-themed decorations before they were through and back out into the sunshine.

He barely held in a snort when he saw a woman kneeling on the ground with her head jammed up into a, frankly ridiculously large, tailpipe attached to a shiny red truck. It was like being back in Texas all over again. Chimney set his bags down, eyes on the patient when he asked, “Hi, what's her name?”

The man standing next to the woman answered ‘Betty’ at the same time she answeredJennifer’. Sorry, I thought you meant my truck.” Eddie met Buck’s eyes and gave a raised eyebrow to Buck’s eye roll.

This is your truck?” Cap, ever the professional, didn’t even blink.

“Yeah, but it's not like I backed into her. She did this out of her own free will.”

The woman Eddie assumed was the patient’s friend, yelled at him. “You dared her to!”

We were flirting!” Eddie intervened between the two, struggling to contain the judgement in his tone.

“Your idea of flirting with a girl is daring her to stick her head in your tailpipe?”

Oh, man.” He heard Buck mutter with a low chuckle before he pushed himself under the truck to assess the pipe.

He kept half an ear on Hen and Chim assessing the patient but, since he had nothing to do except crowd control, he was free to take the opportunity to admire Buck’s long legs sticking out from under the truck. Their uniform really was a blessing and a curse, he thought as he watched the material strain when Buck bent his knees up and slightly apart. Buck ducked back out, rubbing his forearm over his forehead. “These things are meant to increase the power to the engine.”

Yup.”

TSA 230 saw should do the job.” Cap definitely had a twinkle in his eye as he said that. Buck wasn’t nearly as subtle, giving one of his signature mischievous smirks.

Oh, yeah, like a knife through butter.” Chim returned with the saw before Cap could even ask him for it.

“What?! No, I spent 1200 bucks on that tailpipe!”

You might want to close your eyes during this part.” Eddie had to press his lips together when the man looked like he was going to cry but his humour was short lived.

Just type your number in my phone, and I'll text you so you have mine.” He watched as Buck awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck but gave the woman accosting him a regretful smile. A dark twisting in his gut, that Eddie was rapidly becoming familiar with, started as he watched the interaction.

Buck was flirted with, without fail, at every scene and Eddie was already sick of seeing it. Women, men, young, old; Buck attracted them all. He couldn’t help but remember the flirty grin Buck had aimed his way, that day in the gym, and he wished now it’d been sincere. Thankfully he hadn’t had to witness Buck aim that grin at anyone else yet, mockingly or otherwise.

Thanks, but I need to focus right now so my captain doesn't cut your friend's head off.” Eddie was too busy watching Buck’s quick exit to notice a woman sidle up to him.

“Hi. Do you have Snapchat?” Eddie cringed and tried to replicate Buck’s smooth rejection but he lacked Buck’s ability to not constantly say the wrong thing.

No. And, uh, I don't think I’m what you're looking for. I have-” He started to say but had to cut himself off. He watched Buck kneeling next to Cap, sadly he didn’t have anything. Finally, he finished lamely with, “I have a son.” The woman wasn’t deterred in the slightest, of course.

“That's great. So do I.”

All right, what say we move the peanut gallery a few steps over this way. Thank you. Everybody back a little bit, thank you.” Eddie could have kissed Chim as he urged the woman, and the rest of the gathered crowd, backwards.

Hen reassured the patient as Cap crawled under the truck with the saw. ““All right, Jennifer, keep your head completely still. You're gonna hear a lot of noise, but everything is fine.”

Once the tailpipe was cut free they gently eased the patient upright. “We need lube,” Buck called to the crowd. There seemed to be a flurry of movement as everyone eagerly looked for lube, no doubt wishing they could use it with Buck.

They finally slid the woman out only to be rewarded with drunken doe eyes and giggling. Eddie sighed but dutifully packed up their supplies, falling into step with Buck as they exited the bar, carrying the gear back to the truck.

“Hey, so is your son really the reason you don't date?” Buck asked suddenly. Eddie fought to act casual, giving him a small shrug and an easy smile.

“That, and…” I’ve not been able to look at anyone else since I first saw your baby blues, “they weren't my type.”

Buck shot him a curious look, “Not mine either. Not anymore. But I'm talking in general.”

“It's complicated when you have a kid.”

Come on, that's a weak excuse.”

You live in your ex-girlfriend's house, and you're telling me about weak excuses?” Buck shot him a faux betrayed look. Before he could offer a retort though, they both heard Eddie’s phone begin vibrating in his pocket. As he fished it out, he shot Buck a triumphant grin even as the cat muttered under his breath, giving him a weak glare.

Seeing it was Pepa calling him, his grin morphed into a frown. His aunt would only be calling him in the middle of her work day if something was wrong. “Hello?”

“Eddie, it’s your Abuela; she’s been taken to hospital.” Eddie’s good mood plummeted and his heart rate picked up.

“What? Which one?” She answered quickly and hung up before he could get any more details. He stared at his phone, his mind racing, until he felt Buck’s hand on his arm.

“Come on, Eds.” Eddie’s head lifted at his gentle tone, allowing Buck to lead him away from the truck.

“Buck?” Eddie questioned but he followed behind him regardless. Buck didn’t acknowledge him as he looked at something on his phone before slipping it into his trousers. They stopped further down the sidewalk just as a car pulled up next to them.

“Hey, man, Uber for Evan?” Buck asked as he leaned into the open window, still holding onto Eddie’s arm. When the man nodded, Eddie was pushed into the back seat, Buck climbing in next to him.

Eddie finally worked up a protest five minutes into the drive. “Buck, we can’t just leave-”

“Eddie, Bobby cleared us after you hung up.” He looked concerned as he took hold of Eddie’s arm again. When Eddie only stared back at him, he shuffled a little closer. “It’s going to be alright, Eds.” Neither of them said much more for the journey but Buck’s hand stayed on Eddie, his fingers occasionally brushing against his skin.

Pepa was waiting for them when Eddie finally rushed into the hospital, Buck firmly by his side. “¿Qué pasó? Is Christopher okay?” Pepa offered him a frayed smile, sighing slightly.

Yes. You mean Prince Charming, hmm? He's peachy.” She gestured over her shoulder and Eddie could see Christopher laughing with a couple of nurses. Eddie relaxed infinitesimally. “It's your Abuela. She broke her hip.” And then he was tensing all over again.

“What? How?”

“She was out back on the steps and calling him to come inside. She lost her balance. Christopher called 911. The rescue got there really quick.” Eddie wiped a hand down his face, wanting to groan but knowing his aunt would scold him for it.

“I want to see her.” Pepa was already shaking her head.

“No, she's sleeping now.” She pointedly looked at Buck who had been silent for the entire exchange, a rarity for him. “ And, uh, who is this?”

Eddie made sure not to let anything leak into his tone. “This is Buck. We work together.”

“Mm. I thought you just dressed alike.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“This is my Aunt Josefina. Pepa.”

Buck strangely only offered a vaguely timid “Hi,” before lapsing back into silence.

“You can't keep doing this, Eddie. You cannot keep leaving him with her; she's not up to it.” Eddie could feel the frustrated growl building in his chest.

“I know. I know, and I'm sorry. I... I'm trying to find some permanent help, it's just...too many forms to fill out. It's worse than the V.A.”

“I can't believe your gringa ex stuck you with all of this.” He did growl at that, clenching his fists.

“I'm not stuck, Tia,” he said through gritted teeth. She raised a knowing eyebrow, despite being human she wasn’t the least bit intimidated by him.

“Do you have to go back to work?” Eddie stubbornly refused to answer but she read it in his face anyway. “Ah. And you're not stuck. I'll keep him tonight, but you need to get this figured out.” He grunted at her, deciding to go check on his son before he said something he’d regret.

Christopher greeted him with a sunny cry of “Daddy,” and the wolf settled down, content to just be with his cub.

As it turned out Cap had only been able to give Eddie and Buck time enough to check in on his Abuela before they were needed back for the rest of their shift. Pepa had disappeared before Eddie could ask her to take Chris with her but Buck had informed him that she couldn’t get off work until 4. And Eddie tried not to panic. He had no idea what he was going to do with Christopher until then.

“Hey, little man, you want to come back to work with us?” Buck crouched in front of Christopher, smiling widely. Chris tugged on Eddie’s hand in his excitement.

“Can I really?”

“Only for a little while.” Eddie said, decidedly strained, he could only imagine how Cap was going to react to him bringing his son on shift.

“Yes!” Buck high-fived Chris enthusiastically, “Let’s go then!” Chris giggled and easily let go of Eddie’s hand to hold Buck’s. The move seemed to startle Buck, making him pause and shoot a quick questioning look back at Eddie but, when Eddie only nodded his encouragement, he moved forward again.

Eddie tried to keep his heart contained as he watched the two of them amble off at Chris’ pace, but he felt it freefalling hopelessly when Buck effortlessly lifted Chris onto his hip. It had become too crowded for his son and Buck had read Chris’ rising distress before Eddie could catch up to them. He didn't seem to even give it a second thought. Chris’s only reaction was to wrap an arm around Buck’s neck and lean closer, not even stopping his chatter for a second. Yeah, Eddie was not going to be able to look at anyone else for a good long while, if ever.

Eddie managed to not curl up against Buck, in the Uber, by the skin of his teeth. Part of him wanted to hide away until all of his problems were solved and what better hiding place than Buck’s strong arms? The strangeness of that desire was enough to hold him back. He worked his jaw, twisting his hands together tightly, as he once again worried about how he was going to get through the rest of his shift. A hand came to rest gently over his, stilling the movement. Buck offered him a reassuring smile but quickly returned his attention to Christopher. The boy was now detailing his entire science lesson to Buck, who was responding earnestly whenever Chris took a breath.

Eddie carried Chris up to the loft and placed him on the sofa once they got back to the 118. He’d intended to leave him there with Buck whilst he went to find the Cap to plead his case but Chim and Hen descended on them quickly. The pair made quick work of winning Chris over and before he got the chance to slip away Cap was approaching them.

What's this? I don't remember asking the Chief for reinforcements. You any good with a hose, kid?” Chris smiled innocently up at him.

“I can try.”

“All right.” Before Cap could say more, Eddie stumbled off of the couch in his haste, his words rapidly falling out of his mouth.

“So sorry, Cap. My aunt's trying to get off work early, but until then, I... I didn't know where to take him.” He was surprised to see an understanding smile on Cap’s face rather than the annoyance he had expected.

“Yeah, you did. Right here. Buck gave me a heads-up; I already cleared it with the Chief.”

Before Eddie could look at the shifter in question the alarm was ringing. Eddie felt another moment of panic but the Cap clapped him on the shoulder. “Let’s go, new recruit.” Buck scooped Chris up, holding him above his head as Chris squealed excitedly, and then trotted down to the truck with him. Eddie grabbed both of their gear before climbing in after them, a wide smile on his own face when he saw Chris beaming with a headset on.

On the way to the incident, Chimney leant forward towards Chris. “These are great, see, 'cause we can talk to each other.” He tapped his headset. ”Though sometimes I wish I had a mute button for Buck.” Buck rolled his eyes good naturedly as Chris giggled.

You have a scar on your head.” Eddie huffed in amusement, his kid definitely got his lack of filter from him. Chimney, thankfully, didn’t look upset in the slightest.

“That's very observant, kid. I had an accident. Got a big metal rod stuck in my head, but the doctor took care of it. You ever have surgery?”

Chris nodded quickly, holding up his fingers. “Two times.” Eddie reached over to correct his fingers.

“Actually, three times,” he said softly. He would never get over how strong his son was, somehow laughing as he compared his surgeries with Chim. He never let life get him down and Eddie was in awe of him constantly.

Over the next few hours, Chris had the time of his life. He attended the less serious scenes, seemingly loving getting to watch him and Buck work. Emphasis on the Buck apparently, according to Hen. When they went to scenes that he couldn’t, he stayed behind with one of the team who each took a turn entertaining him around the station.

They were just helping him slide down the firepole, his cheers echoing loudly through the station as Cap took his picture, when Pepa turned up. Buck was the first to look around, Eddie automatically turning to see what had caught his attention.

“All right, fun's over,” He declared as Buck made a dramatic noise of disappointment. The crew called out their goodbye’s to Chris’ joy and Eddie started to walk his aunt and son out. Before he could get far he gave in to the urge he’d had for the past few hours and threw his arms around Cap, hugging him tightly.

Thanks, Cap,” he whispered, too overwhelmed to say more.

For the next week, Eddie made it his mission to pay Buck back for all the help he’d freely offered with no strings attached. Between Pepa and Chris singing Buck’s praises the entire time, Eddie was hard pressed to forget it. Not that he would have anyway, or wanted to, but it meant the cat was constantly on his mind. Not exactly a hardship but definitely not always appropriate.

Buck had not been making it easy to pay him back though. It was always “you don’t need to, Eddie”; “anyone would do the same thing”; or “I didn’t really do anything, man”. If he bought him a coffee, Buck had already bought Eddie a pastry. If he offered to do Buck’s chores, he did Eddie’s in turn. He’d thought to offer him a lift into work but he hadn’t been able to work the timing with Chris. It was driving Eddie insane. His wolf instincts weren’t helping as they considered Buck’s actions to simply be what Pack did. The problem being Buck wasn’t Pack; not after only knowing him for a few weeks.

It was Buck himself who finally gave Eddie his opportunity. Buck had approached him at work and there had been something in the way he’d eyed Eddie that had made Eddie straighten. “Hey, man. So I know you’ve got the day off tomorrow, do you have any plans?”

“Might run a few errands, why?” Eddie had looked at him suspiciously when Buck shifted his weight between his feet.

“Could you, uh, give me a hand with something? My sister wants my help in moving and-” Eddie had grinned far too widely, jumping at the chance he was being presented with.

“Yeah, of course. I can get to yours around lunch time, if that works?” Buck had returned his grin eagerly.

“Yes, thank you; that’s perfect.” He had bumped his shoulder against Eddie’s before he’d loped away to flop against Hen on the sofa. Eddie’s grin had softened into something far too fond for his own good.

Eddie was confused when he turned up at Buck’s place and noted the absence of boxes. “Thought you said we were helping your sister move. Doesn't look like she's packed anything.” Buck cleared his throat like he did when he was nervous and Eddie slowly turned to face him, stiffening at the matching nervous expression on Buck’s face.

“Oh, this stuff is Abby's. I lied about the whole moving thing. I mean, my sister is moving, it's just... she doesn't really have that much stuff.” Buck started wringing his hands.

“What's going on, Buck?”

“I asked you here 'cause there's someone I want you to meet.” A thousand different scenarios went through Eddie’s mind at once. Was Buck dating someone and hadn’t told him? Was this some kind of secret wife? He considered the hopeful smile playing on Buck’s face and felt himself pale as another thought occurred.

“You didn't set me up, did you?” Buck laughed until he got a good look at Eddie’s face, probably seeing the dawning horror. He raised his hands placatingly.

“No, just-just trust me. This woman is... exactly what you need.” A confident knock sounded through the apartment before Eddie could demand he elaborate. “She's here.” Buck seemed suddenly giddy as he bounded to the door, throwing it wide open.

“Buckaroo!” Eddie couldn’t see the woman around Buck so he took the opportunity to school his features into something hopefully more neutral. Buck sounded ecstatic as he enveloped her in a hug.

Carla!”

“Baby... Ah! Goodness, I missed your face.”

Oh, I missed you, too. Come on in.” He stepped aside and Eddie was confused again to see an older black woman, smiling hugely. Her eyes raked him up and down but Eddie got the feeling it was more of a professional assessment than anything… suggestive. “Uh, Eddie, this-this is my friend Carla.”

“Nice to meet you, Eddie.”

Eddie offered a “Likewise,” in her direction but he gave Buck a look that demanded an explanation. He saw his friend swallow before giving him another nervous smile.

Carla is L.A.'s finest home health care aid. She has years of experience navigating giant bureaucracies, and I thought she could help you figure out how to get Christopher what he needs.”

Everything stopped. Oh. Oh. Buck had- he was- Dios but he was so infuriatingly good and Eddie had never stood a chance.

Carla continued his explanation, oblivious to Eddie’s frozen state. “I'm red tape's worst nightmare. I'll get you through this in no time. Now, let's go sit down and let's see what you're working with.” She was already striding past him when he heard her cackle. “Besides that perfect bone structure.” Eddie stared at Buck, his mouth working as he tried to express just how incredible Buck was.

“Buck, I-” He watched Buck’s face twist back to nervous before he gave him a shy hopeful smile, placing his hand on Eddie’s shoulder.

“Trust me, Eds. Carla’s great. I’ll be on the balcony if you need anything, okay?” And then Buck too was gone.

Eddie took a deep fortifying breath before going to find Carla. She was setting up at the dining room table, giving him a bright smile when she saw him. Eddie offered her a shaky smile in return and took a seat next to her.

Within a few hours Carla had had him apply for so many grants, all of which Christopher was eligible for, and apply to get Chris into a school that Eddie had only ever dreamed of being able to send his son to. She had arranged for herself to be Chris’ carer, working him in around her other patients with just a few taps on her laptop. And, just like that, the weight that had been bearing down on him since Shannon had left them, all those years ago, was gone. Carla Price was an angel but Buck… Buck was his miracle.

Chapter 8

Summary:

Buck's a happy boy and Taylor makes her entrance.

Chapter Text

Buck watched Eddie come into the station with a self-satisfied smile. The wolf had been more settled and just lighter for the past few shifts and Buck had decided to take the credit. He knew Carla could help Eddie but he’d been worried that Eddie wouldn’t accept the help. He very much gave off the impression of a lone wolf. But, for Chris, Eddie seemed willing to do anything. Carla had even thanked him for the introduction, exclaiming over how cute both father and son were. Buck agreed with her wholeheartedly. That kid was already firmly lodged in his heart and Eddie was well on his way to muscling in there too. If he was further in than Buck would like to admit then that was his business.

With Eddie on his way to being happier, Buck could focus more of his attention on Maddie. She’d seemed a little stressed over work lately but had come home excitedly, the other day, talking about going for a police ride-along. Buck had immediately suggested she request Athena, knowing that his sister would be safe with her.

Buck hadn’t made a good first impression on the Sergeant but she’d made an unforgettable one on him. Buck only hoped that he’d grown on her, even if just a little, especially now that her and Bobby were dating. When Buck had thought about it too much he’d realised that if he saw Bobby as a father figure of sorts then Athena would be like a… step-mother figure? He tried not to think about it too much after that idea had occurred to him. He’d love to have her as a mother figure but he had the feeling she wouldn’t be too enamoured by having him as a pseudo-son.

They were called to a military protest at a cemetery and Buck grimaced, bumping his knee against Eddie’s to check on him. He hadn’t looked perturbed when they’d been briefed but Eddie didn’t show much emotion on his best day so that could mean anything. Eddie bumped him back though, throwing him a reassuring smile. Buck nodded his acceptance but resolved to keep an eye on him anyway.

Athena greeted them at the scene whilst Buck did his best to tune out the protestors' chants. “Captain. Mr. Personality over here started coughing; grabbed his side; and fell over. Could be appendicitis, I'm not sure.”

“All right. Sir, I'm just gonna examine you for a second here.” Bobby knelt down next to the man who appeared to have fallen off of his mobility scooter. Judging by his attire Buck guessed he’d been a part of the protesting group rather than the funeral. He made sure to keep his face neutral, hoping to show Athena that he had learnt from his past mistakes and didn’t act rashly anymore. Well, that he acted less rashly nowadays, anyway.

“Okay, we got a colostomy bag, probably backing up; you're gonna have to intubate him. Sir, just try to relax; these paramedics here are gonna attend to you.” Chim and Hen dutifully moved towards him but the patient groaned out a protest.

“Oh, hell no. You do it.” They froze, eyebrows raised.

Sir, I am not a trained paramedic; I can't intubate you. They can.” Buck envied Bobby’s eternal patience as he himself rolled his eyes at the patient’s continued resistance. Even when Chim helpfully pointed out that he was about to choke on his own waste. Buck grimaced at that delightful picture.

What about him?” The man pointed at Eddie. Buck heard an almost imperceptible sigh from the shifter in question.

Bobby nodded at him to go ahead, "Diaz," but the man wiggled away, his voice going higher. From pain or offence though Buck wasn’t sure

“Diaz? What kind of name is that?”

Eddie replied cheerfully, “My father's from Mexico. My mother's Swedish. I can help you out with the Swedish half but no one told me which half that is.” Buck had to bite his lip from laughing out loud at Eddie’s dry remark. The wolf took a step back with a smirk when the patient shook his head furiously. Bobby seemed to have to collect himself for a moment.

“Okay, would you like me to call you another paramedic team?” He definitely sounded a little annoyed when he added, “So you can have an all-white one?” Before the patient could answer he started choking

And he's aspirating. Actual diarrhea of the mouth. Outstanding.” Chimney pulled a face even as he stepped forward to treat the guy. Buck gagged at the god awful smell invading his nose before he held his breath to help roll him over. He made sure to hang back a good distance whilst they loaded him up into the ambulance.

He was still restricting his breathing so he was surprised when his sister’s voice sounded just behind him. “Well done.” Buck greeted her with a bright grin, pulling her into a quick hug.

“Right, your ride-along was today.” Buck spotted Bobby approaching a little cautiously so he turned Maddie around, slinging an arm over her shoulders as they faced him. “Uh, Cap, this is my sister, Maddie.”

“Great to finally meet you.”

Yeah, you, too. I've heard nothing but wonderful things about you.”

“Well, don't believe everything your little brother tells you.” Bobby said teasingly, giving Buck a fond smile.

I meant from her.” Maddie nodded to Athena, who, seeing their attention, started making her way over to them. Bobby’s smile became adoring.

Ah. Well, the feeling is mutual.”

“She's something; she never lets anything get to her.” Athena reached them just in time to catch the tail end of Maddie’s sentence.

“Get to me? Do you know how many times in a given day somebody's got the opportunity to get to me? If I start letting them get to me, I wouldn't make it past breakfast. Which reminds me, we should eat.” Maddie shot her an incredulous look and a startled laugh. Buck grinned at the sound, his arm tightening just a little.

“Eat? You want to eat after that?”

It's lunchtime.” Athena shrugged and then they were leaving. Buck snorted at the pair, shaking his head; even he didn’t want to eat. Then again the smell was still clinging to his nostrils and, being human, Athena didn’t have that issue to contend with.

As he climbed back into the truck, he found Eddie already in there, sliding his phone away as Buck sat down next to him. “So. That was your sister?”

“Yup.”

“You don’t look anything alike.” He could tell Eddie was edging towards something but Buck couldn’t predict what so he offered an easy shrug.

“Yeah I took after my mum; she took after Dad.”

“You, um- are you the same, uh, kind of cat?” Oh. Buck fought not to tense then. He offered him a noncommittal hum and was thankful when Bobby climbed in. Eddie fell quiet before changing the subject completely. Ironically enough, he changed it to what they were going to have for lunch. Bobby laughed and gave Buck a smirk over his shoulder.

Buck lifted one end of the sofa as Eddie grabbed the other. Buck had been surprised when the wolf had seemed so pleased when Buck actually asked for his help moving Maddie in. Not that he would have if Maddie hadn’t bullied him into it.

They encountered an issue when the sofa wouldn’t fit through Maddie’s front door. “Maybe we pop the hinges off the door.” Eddie suggested with a smirk.

“Or we use the Jaws of Life.” Maddie appeared in a hurry then.

“No, no, no. It has to fit; I measured it twice. Can't you guys just, you know, turn it around the other way?” Buck gave her a faux disgruntled look.

“And then the pizza will slide off.” Her eyes narrowed at him, hands going to her hips.

You have pizza on my new sofa?”

It's on the plastic.” She snatched the pizza up with a dark look at him, no doubt refraining from promising retribution out loud only because of their guests. Buck grinned over at Eddie, pleased at successfully riling up his sister. Eddie rolled his eyes before picking up the sofa again.

All right, pivot.

Buck gave him a teasing smile when he replied, “Lift with your legs.” Eddie huffed out a short laugh but they finally got the sofa where Maddie wanted it.

She turned, from where she had been chatting to Chim about her new security system, with a grateful expression.

Hey, thank you, guys, for helping me on your day off.” Eddie being Eddie shrugged her thanks away, grabbing the pizza boxes she had so callously abandoned on a pile of boxes.

“Don't worry about it. Plates?”

“Countertop. Kitchen.”

Beer?” Chim questioned hopefully. Maddie gave him a shy smile, which had Buck watching her suspiciously.

“Uh, also kitchen, fridge.”

Clever.”

As soon as Chim had disappeared Maddie was spinning back to him, leaning in conspiratorially to whisper, conscious of Eddie’s hearing. “He is so cute.” Buck tried not to frown at her.

“Yeah, he gets that a lot. Uh, you should meet his kid, though.”

“Wait, Chimney has a kid?” Buck blinked

“No, I-I thought you meant…” He tried to not let relief colour his voice as he asked for confirmation. “Chimney?” She snorted at him.

“Duh.” Her smile turned dangerously devious. “Interesting that you immediately thought I meant Eddie though.” Buck pouted and shoved her playfully.

“Shut up” Her responding laugh was so happy that Buck couldn’t hold onto his pout. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, Mads, you’re so annoying.”

“It’s every big sister’s right, little brother.” Buck grunted, flicking her on her arm before going to get some pizza before Chim ate it all.

Over the next few weeks Maddie smiled more and laughed louder. Eddie fully relaxed in their downtime at the station. Bobby was happier than ever; showing Buck some cool tricks in the kitchen that he stated “don’t do anything but they look impressive”. Hen and Karen seemed stronger than ever and Chimney teased them all mercilessly, never once making a bitter joke about his ‘lonely existence’. All in all Buck could purr at the abundance of happiness that filled the air every time they were all on shift together.

Eddie had taken to inviting him around to his apartment every Friday. They would typically watch a movie with Christopher, who always greeted him enthusiastically, before having a beer or two once the boy was tucked up in bed. Buck wouldn’t admit it to anyone but those Friday nights were the highlight of his week. Being able to snuggle on a couch with two of his favourite people would never get old.

Even at the station Buck orbited Eddie, earning more than one knowing eyebrow when he chose Eddie’s company over anyone else's. Eddie never seemed to have an issue when Buck sat right next to him, practically plastered to his side. Instead, he pressed right back. On one memorable occasion he had even slung his arm over the back of the sofa, behind Buck, resulting in Buck basically cuddling up against him. Eddie hadn’t batted an eye.

Buck often thought that maybe Eddie felt the same strange mix of attraction and comfort as he did when they were together but, other than the ghostly feeling of a few lingering looks, Buck never caught him doing anything that felt concrete. He decided to wait for a clear sign that it wasn’t just his imagination before he made a move on the wolf. But, if the universe was in Buck’s favour for once, maybe Eddie would be the one to make the first move.

As they climbed out of the truck, Buck resisted the urge to cover his ears at the level of noise. Even Eddie winced and Buck was almost convinced that the wolf never let his enhanced senses affect him. He vaguely heard Athena, shouting over the commotion at the members of public who were too stupid to recognise that ‘hey maybe we shouldn’t stand in the path of flying debris’. He shook his head in exasperation but put his game face on as he shoved his helmet over his head.

“The pilot radioed that they were having mechanical trouble. Looks like he tried to put it down in the field over there.” Athena yelled as she took cover behind their truck. Bobby poked his head out to take a look at the still running helicopter stuck on the bleachers.

“Yeah, it got close.“

“Yeah, not close enough.” And then she was off again, running to wave away more members of the public. “Get down, people, move! Move! Go!” Bobby turned to them with a grimace.

“All right, guys, we're gonna fan out, go behind those bleachers. Eddie, after we get the people out, you think you can kill that engine?”

Think so, I'm just worried about the dynamic rollover.” Buck blinked at Eddie, something about the way he said that made it sound super not fun.

The dynamic what?” Eddie leaned in close to Buck, much closer than he needed to really, what with Buck’s hearing, but Buck was not complaining as their shoulders pressed together.

We change the weight ratio by pulling people out, whole thing could tip over, rotors could snap off.”

Buck was the one grimacing as he got the picture Eddie was painting. “And then flying rocks are gonna be the least of our problems.” Bobby nodded at them.

All right, visors down. Let's go!”

They ducked low as they quickly ran over to the helicopter, managing to scramble up the bleachers whilst being buffeted by the wind created by the whirring rotor blades. “Buck, get her out of there.” Cap roared as they dragged the doors open, Eddie moving in to check on the pilot. Buck reached in to undo the belt of the woman who was holding onto the seat for dear life. He noticed her claws digging in before her scent caught up to him and his head raised abruptly, meeting her eyes. She was looking right back at him and offered a wan smile in acknowledgement. Forcing back the instinctive joy he felt at meeting another feline shifter, Buck concentrated on the task at hand. They could compare notes later when he’d gotten her to safety.

“Put your arms around me.” He ordered as he leaned in further. Just as her arms came up the helicopter shifted away from Buck, throwing the cat backwards. He put a foot on the landing skid, pressing down in the vain hope it would help bring it back level. Eddie appeared to be doing something similar beside him and finally it shifted back enough that she was able to crawl across to him, clutching onto his shoulders. “All right, here we go.” She screeched a little as Buck lifted her clear, making a run for cover as soon as she was secure in his arms. He passed her off to Hen and looked back for his partner in time to watch him swap positions with the pilot and successfully turn the helicopter off. Buck breathed a sigh of relief as the noise level dropped back down and Eddie climbed out with a grin. Now that they were all safe he turned to go satisfy his curiosity.

He reached the cat shifter just as Athena was checking up on her. How are you doing?”

“I'm not sure. How's Trent? Is he okay?” Her voice tickled the back of Buck’s brain and he tilted his head to the side as he scrutinised her. There was something familiar about the sound of it but Buck was sure he’d never seen her before. He’s certainly never smelled her before. He missed Athena’s reply as it hit him suddenly and then he was grinning widely, practically bouncing over to her.

“Hey, do me a favour. Uh, say, ‘And on the 405, speeds are under five miles an hour, making your morning commute a rough one.’"

Hen appeared less than impressed, offering a flat, “Seriously?” Buck tried to curb his excitement to explain.

“I-I-I know that voice. It's, uh, it's Taylor Kelly reporting, right? Right. Sky Witness News Eight.” She offered him a tired smile.

“That's me.”

Wow. Um, it's, uh, it's weird to hear that voice come out of a face.” Hen snorted and Taylor’s smile morphed into a smirk.

”Thank you?” He felt his cheeks flush and rubbed the back of his neck.

Um, you have helped me beat traffic in this city more times than you will ever know.” Her smirk grew as she leant a bit closer. Buck saw her take a deep breath, inhaling his scent.

“Oh? You might want to Uber tomorrow.” He chuckled, offering her his most winning smile.

“Yeah, it’s probably a good thing. We cats can land on our feet but only up to a point you know.” Her resulting laugh was husky and, at any other point of Buck’s life, he’d have taken her up on the invitation in it. As it was the wolf he was infatuated with passed behind him at that moment, his presence marked only by his scent. The slightly elevated spice had Buck saying his goodbyes and chasing after Eddie.

He found him already in the truck on his phone but he didn’t raise his head to acknowledge Buck’s entrance. “Hey, man, you good?” Buck watched closely when Eddie looked up at him with a small smile.

“Yeah, Buck, all good. You?” Buck shrugged, his eyes flitting all over Eddie’s face to catch any hint of what had caused his bad mood.

“Of course.” As Buck settled next to him, Eddie put his phone away and his scent returned back to the earthy muskiness that was Buck’s favourite. The rest of the day, Buck kept an eye on Eddie but his mood didn’t appear to dip again so Buck shrugged his earlier concern off. If there was something really bothering the wolf he was sure he’d know about it.

Chapter 9

Summary:

Taylor is gonna Taylor and the team experiences a fun little... trip

Chapter Text

Buck was busy washing the battalion truck down when a familiar, but out of place, scent drifted over to him. Just as he was dropping the sponge back in the bucket, he caught the voices of his Captain and the owner of that scent coming from behind him.

“I know who you are, Ms. Kelly. I just don't understand what you're doing here. Please don't film in here.” Buck turned and watched Bobby hold his hand up to block the camera being held on a man’s shoulder. Next to him Buck spotted the unmistakable head of red hair.

“Uh, why not?” He watched Bobby’s shoulders tense.

Because it's-it's rude.”

Taylor offered him a sharp smile. “Oh, they didn't call you yet.”

“Who?” Bobby asked at the same time Martin called out to him.

“Cap, Chief's office on the line.” Bobby gave the cat a warning look before turning away without a word.

Buck decided to approach when the pair were left standing in the middle of the truck bay. “Uh, Taylor Kelly? What are you doing here?” She turned to give him a wide smile.

“You can just call me Taylor. Uh, how was your drive in? Did you miss me?”

Buck returned her grin. “My morning definitely wasn't the same without you. I…” He trailed off as Eddie suddenly appeared next to them.

He had on a loose tank top, having come from where he’d been working out in the gym. It had been the reason Buck had chosen to wash the truck; it offered a clear view of the gym. So Buck could admire Eddie whilst not being obvious about it.

Buck’s train of thought was obliterated when Eddie pressed his bare, slightly sweaty arm against his. It made him inhale sharply which only served to send Eddie’s intoxicating scent up his nose, made so much stronger from his workout and proximity. Buck really wasn’t sure how anyone expected him to be able to work under these conditions, honestly; a saint would be having trouble.

“Hey, how're you feeling? Any side effects after the crash?” Somehow Eddie managed to sound completely insincere and his scent spiked with spice. Apparently Eddie had taken a dislike to Taylor but Buck couldn’t remember them interacting on scene. Had he missed something happening? Or maybe the pilot Eddie had helped had said something. Buck frowned consideringly even as he leant back against him. Taylor’s eyes flicked between them before she offered Eddie a polite smile.

“I'm great. Thanks to all of you, which is why I'm here.” She smiled brightly as Chim and Hen edged closer to their group. “You guys were so amazing. I want to do a story on this firehouse and on the heroes who work here.”

“Yeah, but you do traffic.” Her smile seemed to get a little brittle as she answered Chim.

“I'm not quite ready to go back in the sky, so I thought I'd try my hand at telling a story from the ground.”

Hen hummed approvingly. “And use your newfound fame to put your face in front of the camera.”

“That, too.”

“Smart girl.”

“I can't wait to interview all of you. I want to know why you chose this job; the crazy things you've seen; what it's like to face death.” Buck got the distinct impression of a shark scenting blood as Taylor leant closer to Chim. “I mean, Howie, you almost died, right?” Buck stiffened and he was sure he wasn’t the only one; no one liked to remember the rebar incident.

“Actually, nobody calls me that. It's Chimney.”

The cat didn’t give up at his obvious avoidance. “I bet there's a story there.”

Chim hummed but his lips twitched up as Hen added, “Not one you can tell on TV.” Thankfully Bobby returned before Taylor could push any harder.

“Well, you must've really impressed the Chief. He said to give you whatever access you need.” His reluctance was palpable.

“Don't worry, Captain Nash, your story's in good hands. I'm gonna make you all famous.”

Bobby grimaced and muttered, “That’s what I'm afraid of.” Buck didn’t think he meant for anyone to hear him but the narrowing of Taylor’s eyes showed she clearly had. Buck thought that maybe he should make sure the human members of the 118 knew that the nosey reporter in their midst was a cat shifter.

Before long they were called out, Bobby seemingly relieved by it. He’d been avoiding Taylor and her cameraman like a pro since he’d allowed them in.

The call was to an eating contest and Buck bumped against Eddie as they carried their gear over, to get his attention. Wonder how many he put down. Joey Chestnut scarfed down 74 hot dogs in ten minutes at last year's Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.” Rather than the eye roll Buck would have received from anyone else, Eddie inclined his head and opened his mouth, interest plain on his face.

Before he could ask whatever question he had, Chim jumped backwards into them with a squeak Buck couldn’t wait to tease him about. Holding in his amusement, Buck steadied the man, leaning around him to see what had spooked him. Eddie jumped at the same time they heard a distinct hiss. Buck grinned when he saw the monitor lizard staring them down.

Chim covered his fright with a dry, “Cute. That thing yours?”, but Buck could hear the slight tremor in it.

That's Claude. He's the grand prize.A woman told them with a weirdly absent smile.

A loud groan had them hurrying over to the patient who was now indeed choking. As the team worked to clear the man’s airways Buck could swear he could hear something chirping in there. “What was this, like, a pepper eating contest?” Taylor asked, likely hearing the same thing Buck was, a disturbed look on her face as if she was hoping the answer would be yes.

No. Protein.” The woman, who seemed to be running the event, answered as Chim reared back again, Eddie letting out a quiet noise of surprise as he too flinched away.

“Locusts!” Hen exclaimed, her voice higher than normal.

No, they're actually crickets. We allowed anything that Claude would eat. We thought it might be fun.” Buck was not the only one giving the woman a look of utter disbelief. Fun? To eat live crickets? Who in their right mind thought that would be fun.

The patient deteriorated before anyone could question her sanity. Thankfully the team managed to bring him back only to have to aid another patient who began to choke on cockroaches. Buck heard Eddie mutter, “All this for a lizard, huh?”, sounding utterly confused. He had to hold in a smile at the sheer adorableness of the wolf.

Claude, I guess you're staying with me.” The woman cried happily as ‘Claude’ turned to Taylor with interest. Its tongue flicked out as it hissed at the shifter. She jumped a mile, clutching Buck’s arm tightly. “Oh. I guess he likes you. He likes redheads.” Buck snorted under his breath and Taylor let out a weak noise, clearly unsure how to respond to that. She maintained her position slightly behind Buck until they were able to move away from the lizard. He made sure to send her a slightly taunting grin; the big bad reporter scared of a little lizard.

Buck couldn’t help his sympathetic wince for the bodybuilder as he watched him stuck in his pose. “Looks like extreme hyponatremia.” He offered as he set a bag down for Chim.

“Say what?”

He's got a charley horse.” Hen explained kindly. Chim responded less kindly, amusement clear in his tone.

He is a charley horse.” Buck snorted before he could hold it back, unsuccessfully turning it into a fake cough and earning a warning glance from Bobby.

As they assessed Charlie, the man kept shooting wary looks towards the camera. Now, before we start replenishing your electrolytes, you got to answer me honestly: are you dosing?” Bobby asked gently. Charlie visibly gulped, looking at the camera again before answering.

N-No steroids, if that's what you mean. I'm totally clean.” Bobby followed his glance and sighed heavily.

Okay, you two need to back off. Get that camera out of here, please.” Taylor started sputtering a protest and Eddie stepped up, almost eagerly, arms held wide.

“Cap needs room to work.”

“I'm working, too.” Taylor argued even as they were herded back.

“You can work further back.” Eddie’s voice was firm, offering no give, and Buck’s brain immediately jumped to imagining that voice in different, much more pleasant scenarios. Oh, how he would do anything Eddie asked if only he would ask in that voice- Get a hold of yourself, Buckley. Learn some goddamned control for once.

Buck came back to himself in time to help lower Charlie and carry him off the beach. He resolutely did not make eye contact with anyone, and he absolutely did not let himself look at any part of Eddie, lest he jump his bones right here right now.

“You'd think he'd earn a trophy for holding that pose for so long.” Chimney commented as they loaded Charlie up into the ambulance.

“Right?” Hen agreed.

Taylor took the opportunity to corner Bobby, much to the man’s obvious displeasure. “Captain, we'd love to get some words from you.”

“Okay, here's a few: stop pointing that camera at people who are in distress. The people we serve have to feel like they can trust us and can be honest with us; otherwise, mistakes get made.” He pushed past her and swung himself up into the truck before she could ask anything else.

Not being put off in the slightest, Taylor turned almost excitedly to her cameraman. “We're totally using that.” Buck shook his head, joining his team in the truck; the cat was incorrigible.

When they got back to the station, Taylor gestured him up to the loft, where she had set up shop with her laptop. “Is he always so prickly?” She asked once Buck plonked down in the seat opposite her. He tilted his head consideringly.

“Who? Cap?” At her slight nod he shook his head. “Uh, nah. He, uh... he barks a little, but ring that bell, he's… he's one of the guys.”

“I don't think he likes me much.” Buck threw back his head as he laughed loudly. She pouted a little but he could see the amused glint in her eyes. He moved closer, giving her a sardonic grin.

“Funny, you're so likeable.” She laughed unselfconsciously, shrugging a little.

“Well, I am trying.” Judging by her smirk, Buck didn’t believe she was ‘trying’ for one second but he wasn’t sure Taylor expected him to buy the line any more than she’d actually meant it.

Buck sighed, suddenly serious, as he glanced over his shoulder, towards Caps office. “Look, Cap isn’t prickly, okay? He just… he just doesn't know you yet, that's all. We-we get two, three calls, right? He's putting out fires all day. The rest of us, we just have to be one thing at a time. The guy in his job, he has to be everything. The truth is, he inspires me every single day.” Taylor looked earnest, nodding enthusiastically.

“And I am trying to put a giant spotlight on him. On all of you unsung heroes. Tell your story.” Her hands slid along the table as if she were going to take his hand or touch his arm but Buck moved them under the table, placing his hands on his thighs as he braced to leave.

“To him, we're not the story. We're just here to make sure no story ends before it should.” Buck hoped Taylor would genuinely consider his words as he made his way back down to the truck bay to finish his chores.

Buck snuck up behind Chimney as he approached the buffet of baked goods. ”Ah ha! New arrival. When they send it in plastic, you know it's gonna be good.” He watched in anticipation as Chim unwrapped what Buck knew to be an empty container. “Aw. Serious, you guys? You couldn't even leave me any crumbs?” Buck took that as his cue to smack his lips obnoxiously.

“Ooh, Chim, you missed out.” Chim’s eyes locked onto the last bite of brownie that Buck was holding.

Is that chocolate?” Buck hummed affirmatively, enjoying the devastation playing across Chim’s face as he stuffed the last of it in his mouth.

Eddie grinned from where he was leaning against the railing, loudly sucking the crumbs off of his fingers. “Fudge, with nuts.” Buck found himself swallowing loudly, transfixed by the sight. It wasn’t until the bell rang that he was knocked back to reality. This shift sure was playing hell on his sanity.

Buck was still struggling to concentrate in the back of the truck on their way to the next call. There was a weird tinkling noise that he couldn’t quite pin down. It seemed to vibrate the very air around them, making Buck’s skin tingle and his nose itch. He looked around the truck but no one else seemed to hear it. Eddie was rubbing his eyes a lot though.

When Eddie caught Buck’s eyes he leaned over, still wiping an eye. ”Man. Allergies are going crazy today.” Buck pondered that. Was he somehow hearing the pollen in the air? He’d never heard pollen before but his hearing was really good. Or maybe it was a new pollen. He leant back into Eddie.

“You, too, huh? The index wasn't elevated this morning. Think it's a new kind?”

“New kind of what?”

“Of pollen.” Eddie nodded as if that made sense, squinting at the air as if hoping to see the pollen.

“A new kind of pollen?” Chim’s voice startled Buck a little; he had forgotten they weren’t alone.

“You're not feeling this, Chim?” Eddie asked, swiping his hand through the air and then leaning forward intently.

“No, I do not.”

“I can see the pollen.” Eddie sounded triumphant. Buck envied him.

“I can hear it.” Buck offered when Eddie looked at him for confirmation.

Buck felt frozen to the spot, clutching the strap of his bag tightly. He refused to move and squash the shrunken ladies. He blinked at the thought. “Did these beauty queens shrink, or are we suddenly giants?” He asked but no one answered.

He tried to think if they had anything in their med bags that would unshrink the ladies. Or shrink the team back down. Maybe both. Either way he wasn’t sure they had anything with them. He heard the familiar voice of Athena next to him. He was almost afraid to look. He didn’t think Cap would want her to be shrunken and he didn’t think Athena would like to be smaller either. She was already small but so fierce. She could have been a lioness.

Buck was relieved when he finally found Athena next to him, looking her usual size. Maybe it was that the ladies had shrunk then. “Hey, Athena. They're, like, the tiniest ladies I've ever seen. Teeny-tiny. Just…So tiny.”

He lost himself then, watching the little ladies as they danced around him. They were so colourful and so happy; Buck wanted to dance with them but he was scared to move in case he squashed them. Chimney interrupted their dance, snapping his fingers in front of Buck’s face.

Guys, look at me. Do you know where you are?” Buck frowned, looking back down. Clearly he was right here, where else would he be? Maybe he should be somewhere else. He needed to help the ladies grow back after all. But Buck didn’t think they had anything in their med bags that would unshrink them. Maybe Hen would know, she knew everything.

Buck wasn’t sure how much time passed, it felt like he was swimming in hot fudge. It was so warm and soft and smelled so so good. He inhaled deeply but the fudge didn’t smell sweet; it smelled earthy and like the softest grass. And then suddenly the smell was spicy. Buck wrinkled his nose, blinking slowly until Eddie came into focus. He could only concentrate on Eddie’s face as he admired his beautiful amber eyes. There were tears coming out of them. That was wrong; Eddie shouldn’t be all spicy and sad.

“What's going on? I don't like this.” He heard the sad whine and looked for the source of Eddie’s sadness. He finally saw a police officer holding Eddie’s hands behind his back. The man would be so screwed when Eddie got out of his hold.

“Ooh, you made him cry.” Buck warned the man.

Athena was there then, patting Eddie’s shoulder. Buck wished he could pat Eddie’s shoulder. He tried to reach out but the fudge had his arms stuck behind him. He chuffed irritably but forgot about it when Athena spoke.

All right, just breathe, okay? You're gonna be okay. All right? Somebody dosed you with a hallucinogen. We don't want you to hurt yourself or anyone else.” Athena’s voice was so soft and squishy. Buck wanted to hug her. Eddie sniffled, replying with a bit of a lisp as his canines descended. Buck wanted to lick them

“Yeah. I like that idea.” Buck’s heart soared; Eddie wanted Buck to lick him too. He strained forward but the fudge shifted around him and pulled him back. He let out a sad mewl which had Eddie’s beautiful eyes meeting his. There was something about his amber eyes that was unfamiliar but Buck didn’t know why. This was Eddie; there should never be anything unfamiliar about Eddie.

Buck wasn’t sure what happened but suddenly he was blinking awake in the bunk room. His mouth felt like something had crawled into it and died, and his wrists and shoulders ached. He couldn’t remember why they were aching; they hadn’t been on any strenuous rescues today. Rolling over he was greeted by the sight of Eddie curled up in the bunk next to him. Buck inhaled deeply to reassure himself but frowned when Eddie's scent was off. There was a current of wrongness running through it.

Buck staggered to his feet, roughly grabbing Eddie’s shoulder. “Hey, Eddie. Wake up. Eddie, man, are you okay?” Buck’s throat was dry but he got the raspy words out, becoming frantic when Eddie’s eyes opened but were unfocused and confused.

“Buck?”

“I’m here, are you okay? What’s wrong?” He watched Eddie frown.

“I don’t know, I don’t…remember.” His scent became overwhelmingly spicy, burning Buck’s nose where he was still breathing deeply trying to identify what the wrongness meant.

“You don’t-”

“Oh good, you’re awake.” Chim cut him off, looking worried when he caught sight of their, no doubt panicked, expressions. “Hey, guys, you’re fine, it’s okay. You were dosed with LSD but it should be completely out of your systems by morning. Chill.” Eddie’s eyes just about bugged out of his head as he shot up in the bed.

“LSD?!”

“Yeah, we think it was the brownies. We got you checked out at the hospital but they couldn’t do anything but flush your system and let you ride it out. We figured it was better to bring everyone back here so we could keep an eye on you all and not take up room at the hospital. How’re you feeling?” Chim sat on the edge of the bed, bringing up a penlight and shining it in Eddie’s eyes.

Buck relaxed as he remembered flashes of the day before; dropping down next to Eddie. Chim deftly transferred the light to Buck's eyes as soon as he was within range. “Any dizziness, nausea, pollen in the air?” Buck rolled his eyes.

“I’m good, thanks, Chim.”

“Eddie?”

“Yeah, Chim, I’m fine. Christopher?” Chim sat back, apparently satisfied they weren’t about to start raving nonsense again.

“Carla has him.” Eddie finally relaxed then, slumping sideways into Buck. Buck adjusted his feet as he took on his weight.

“Good, good, thanks, Chim.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Aren’t you glad we didn’t save you any brownies now, Chim?” Buck ducked Chim’s swat as Eddie burst out laughing.

The team gathered in the loft to watch the news segment air. Buck snagged the seat next to Eddie easily, no one even offering up a complaint. Eddie for his part seemed happy enough, shifting over slightly to close the inch of space between them.

As they watched Taylor introduce the piece, Eddie craned his neck backwards. Buck followed his gaze, narrowing his eyes as he catalogued the crowd of firefighters around them. “Where's Cap?” Eddie asked, Buck right on his heels.

Not watching with us?” Chim’s mouth pinched in discomfort.

No, said he had other things to do.”

“I think his words were he'd ‘rather do anything other than this’.” Hen added when Tanika opened her mouth to question that. Buck returned his gaze to the TV but his mind was already off worrying about Bobby.

He’d heard from Chim who had heard from Athena that she had found Bobby on the roof, looking for all the world like he was going to jump. It twisted something in him at the idea that Taylor would not only film that but also use the footage for her own personal gain. He waited through the whole piece for it to turn on them, for the letters LSD to come out of the cat’s mouth, but in the end there was absolutely no mention of it. Buck sighed in relief before pushing off of the sofa to go hunt down their Captain.

He didn’t have to look far, finding him sitting quietly on a bench in the gym. “Missed a hell of a show.” Bobby seemed to brace himself.

“All right, how bad was it?” Buck gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile that didn’t reveal the worry bubbling under his skin.

“No, not bad at all. You were barely in it. Um, it was nice, you know, kind-kind of like a puff piece. She didn't use any of your interview or mention the LSD.”

“Why would she leave that stuff out?” Buck shrugged as he rubbed the back of his neck.

There was definitely a faint flush of pink to his cheeks as he admitted, “I, uh... I think she likes me.” Bobby raised an eyebrow at him but only hummed knowingly.

Buck decided to track Taylor down to personally thank her; she could have done a lot of damage to his family but she hadn’t. He finally found her in a parking lot, reporting on the very stimulating news that LA was being infested with a new type of mosquito.

“Doesn't look like you'll have to worry about traffic anymore.” Buck called out as she finished up.

“Hey there.” She sent a decidedly flirty smile his way as soon as she spotted him. “I guess so. Our department piece was pretty well received, so they're letting me do more. Nothing major yet just mosquitoes and neighbours fighting about bamboo, but it's a start.”

“Well I will miss hearing your voice everyday. I'm happy for you and... and I wanted to thank you for what you did for Bobby, not using any of that stuff he said.”

“Oh, that wasn't my call. I wanted to use all of it; I got overruled.” Whatever Buck had been intending to say got stuck in his throat. He blinked at her.

“Uh, wait... you were gonna use it?”

“Hell yeah. The only reason we didn't is because apparently your lawyers are scarier than ours. Look, your job is saving lives. Mine is telling their stories even the ones they might not want me to.” Buck felt his temper rising at her excuses.

“That's some stupid job, if that’s all you really care about.” Buck replied hotly.

“Hey, I've wanted to be a reporter since I was 14. I put myself through college, spent years interning for next to no pay, I did traffic in the hopes that it would lead to my big break, which it did. This stupid job isn't stupid to me. You don't have to like it but you don't get to make me feel bad about it.” He hated that she tried to justify it, make it sound noble even, as if she were performing a service to the public. She was deluding herself if she thought that airing the story of a bunch of firefighters getting dosed helped anyone but her.

“Well, I don't like it.” Buck was aware he sounded petulant but he was beyond caring.

“And I don't care.”

“Just get a room already.” The comment from her cameraman made Buck clench his fists. He gave Taylor a scathing glare that she appeared utterly immune to, before leaving them to it; there was nothing else he wanted to say to the cat.

Chapter 10

Summary:

Did Eddie mention he had a wife? No? Oops?

Chapter Text

“The old trail should be right up there. Park warden said they closed it down a few years back. Guess every once in a while they still get a thrill-seeker who ignores the signs.” Cap said as they pulled up on scene. Eddie eyed the trail map despondently; there was a lot of area to cover.

“They haven't been able to ping the phone?” He asked hopefully. Cap was already shaking his head.

“Yeah. No contact since the call was dropped.” The team sighed collectively; they were going to have to find their hiker the old fashioned way.

When they reached the trail head, Cap looked expectantly towards Eddie and Buck. Eddie raised an eyebrow at Buck who inclined his head and began tracking the scent. It was times like these that Eddie regretted repressing his wolf side so thoroughly and for so long. He watched as Buck crouched low, his head tipping to the side as he contemplated the scents present. As they traversed the trail, Eddie kept an eye on the path ahead, scouting the way so that Buck could concentrate on the scent trail fully.

It was as Buck straightened, indicating that the trail had come to a stop, that Eddie spotted the selfie stick abandoned at the cliff edge. Cap.”

Yeah.” The group carefully made their way across, Buck leaning the furthest out as per usual. Eddie resisted the urge to yank him back.

Guess this is where he went over. Can’t see him down there though.”

All right, everybody gear up. Hen, Chimney, get the winch and the guidelines. Prep a basket just in case. I'm gonna radio Aerial Recon, have 'em on standby.”

Eddie and Buck were quickly hooked up to the winch, both of them checking the other’s harness. With one final tug, Eddie nodded Buck the OK and they began their descent. Buck being the more experienced climber took the lead, guiding Eddie down when he hesitated slightly. Eddie tried to remind himself that not everyone should have the daredevil mentality Buck had, and that he definitely had nothing to prove to his partner by being too gung ho on a crumbling cliff face.

All right, big jump, Eddie. Come on.” Eddie could hear the grin in Buck’s voice and flipped him off without looking away from his footing. He heard the shifter chuckle but he didn’t make another comment as Eddie touched down. He was proud that he wasn’t far behind Buck at least.

“Buck, Eddie, you guys see anything down there?”

No. Just a million-dollar view.” At Buck’s answer Eddie glanced up to find him admiring said view, a soft wistful smile on his face. The reflection of the water somehow made his eyes look an even brighter blue. Eddie shook his head, determinedly going back to his search. Not the time.

He spotted a piece of fabric caught on the rocks and pushed a branch out of the way as he reached for his radio. “Cap, found something.”

“Is it our hiker?” Buck padded over, crouching next to Eddie, their legs brushing. They both recoiled as Eddie fully revealed his find.

A hiker. Don't think it's the one we came looking for; it's human remains, Cap. Skeletal remains.”

“All right. Well, flag it but don't disturb it. We'll call it in.”

Buck nudged him. “Unless…” Eddie frowned as Buck wiggled his eyebrows at him expectantly.

“What…You think a ghost called 911?”

“I'm just saying.” Eddie sighed and opened his mouth to argue with the cat when they were interrupted by a cry for help.

Okay. So, no ghost.” Buck shrugged easily but the teasing grin still tugged at the corner of his mouth. Eddie rolled his eyes before clambering over the rocks in the direction of the voice.

“What's going on down there, guys?”

“Yeah, I think we heard something, Cap.” Buck answered as Eddie pulled ahead, finally spotting their patient in one of the larger crevices.

Easy, buddy. We're here.” Buck held back as he updated Cap whilst Eddie assessed the patient. “Can you tell me your name?”

“Ian.”

“Ian, okay. We're gonna get you out of here, okay?”

Eddie patted him down and checked for wounds on his head and the exposed parts of his body. The hiker seemed fairly unscathed, all things considered. “My le- my leg is broken.” Eddie pressed down gently, earning a pained groan from the patient. He winced sympathetically; definitely broken. “How'd you find me?”

Buck approached then, kneeling on the other side of the man. “It wasn't easy. You weren't on long enough for them to ping your phone.”

“On with who?” Eddie shared a glance with Buck. There hadn’t been any evidence of a head injury but maybe the bump just hadn’t come up yet.

“With, uh, with 911.”

“I dropped my phone when I went over. I didn't call 911.” Buck’s eyes were positively dancing at Eddie then. He huffed in exasperation; they were never going to hear the end of this.

Sure enough, as soon as they were back in the truck, Buck was off on one, trying to convince everyone of his theory. Eddie rolled his eyes fondly as the cat gestured wildly, knocking into Eddie with every other word. “I’m just saying, the guy said he didn’t call and there were bones down there. Plus, you know the veil between the living world and the supernatural world is thinner around Halloween-”

“No, Buck, we do not know that.” Buck steamrolled right over Eddie’s interruption.

“-I mean how else would we have got the call? It’s the only logical explanation.”

“Buck, somebody probably saw him go over and picked up his phone, used it to make the call so that nobody would know that they were there too.” Cap stated reasonably, not even bothering to turn in his seat. Again this didn’t faze Buck in the slightest.

“Bobby, come on, I would have smelled someone if they were close enough to use his phone. I’m telling you, there were no other scents strong enough and near enough. And his phone fell down the cliff with him.”

“Maybe they used their own phone.”

“Why pretend to be the victim though? It doesn’t make sense. And if you think about it-”

Eddie sighed, closing his eyes as he tuned out Buck’s words. There was something about how Buck rambled when he was like this that Eddie found so soothing. What he was saying wasn’t really important so much as the passion and interest that he was saying it with. Eddie would never admit to it, but listening to Buck ramble was up there as one of his favourite things to do. The only thing that made it better was when Chris and Buck would ramble together; too excited over a new subject to even think to ask for Eddie’s input.

Their next shift Bobby showed up early to hide God-knows how many ‘ghost pumpkins’ in every nook and cranny in the station. Eddie made sure to stick close to Buck the entire shift just so he could watch the cute pout his partner made every time he stumbled across one.

Eddie found himself looking around with awe. He hadn’t believed Carla when she’d told him that his application to the private school for Christopher had been moved onto the next stage and that he’d been invited for a tour and an interview. As they were being shown around the facilities now, he still couldn’t believe it. That his son could have the chance to learn in a place like this. A school that would cater to him, that could actually meet his needs.

“Our grounds include two outdoor play areas; state-of-the-art gymnasium; music theatre; the full range of academic offerings; as well as behavioural and cognitive programs.” The principal was saying as they wrapped up the tour. Eddie took a deep breath. Part of him wanted to jump at the opportunity but he couldn’t be blinded by fancy numbers and shiny equipment.

“Look. Um... The programs sound good, but Christopher's happiness is what's important to me. I want him to feel normal, not like some special-needs charity case.” She gave him an understanding smile.

“Every child is special. And, yes, some do have additional needs, but they're all equally our children. They learn as much from each other as they do from us.”

Carla nudged his arm gently, immediately catching on to Eddie’s worries as was her superpower. He absently wondered if he’d bought Buck a coffee recently and made a mental note to make sure he did. Dios but he owed that man more than a lifetime supply of good coffee but he’d accepted that it would be impossible to repay everything Buck did for him, for them, so he’d settle for what he could.

“I think Christopher would be well cared for.” Carla nodded encouragingly. Eddie allowed himself a smile and a nod back.

“Okay. Let's do it.”

“The only thing left would be the family interview.” Eddie frowned in confusion.

I'm sorry?”

“Oh, Christopher's terrific. We have your information. All we need now is to meet Mrs. Diaz.” The principal seemed to register the panic creeping across his face. “That won't be a problem, will it?” she asked a little tentatively.

Eddie froze. His mind raced as he considered his options with increasing despair. Carla cast him a concerned look, answering for him. Eddie just about managed to mumble a goodbye with a strained smile.

As soon as he and Carla were alone he turned to her. “No, it's definitely a problem.”

Look, I know Christopher's mother is a touchy subject with you, but I'm sure if we explain the situation to Principal Summers we can find a workaround. Do you have a copy of the custody agreement?” Eddie gulped.

There isn't one; we're still married.” He watched Carla’s face scrunch, clearly trying to hold back her first reaction.

“Eddie.” Her tone was heavy.

“I know, I know. It’s just… It’s complicated.” Carla sighed, lightly touching his arm in an effort to comfort him.

“I know, hon, but you don’t exactly have much of a choice if you want Christopher to come here.”

Eddie took another look at the school and felt his resolve harden. For Christopher he’d do anything. It wasn’t like he’d intended to never contact Shannon again; he’d planned to get in touch with her when he decided to move them to LA after all. And there had been a small part of him that had wanted to move here specifically so that they could be closer to her. Maybe even give Eddie and her a chance at reconciling. But that had been before he’d found the 118, before he’d found Buck.

The guilt of that thought almost choked him. Buck was not a replacement for Shannon, could never be a replacement, and he didn’t want him to be. Nor would Buck want to be. But there was no denying that Buck gave him and Christopher the support and love that Shannon was supposed to. But what if they could get it from Shannon? Maybe it was worth a try. To give Christopher his mother back to him, he would have to face his own lingering resentment and anger. So Eddie would need to take that first step; he needed to swallow his pride and call his wife.

“Do we know if anybody was bitten?” Eddie’s eyes swung to Buck on instinct even though that wasn’t what Cap was asking.

“You mean, in like, a Nosferatu, Count Whatever, kind of way?” The man asked as he led them towards the haunted…maze? Eddie could practically hear Hen roll her eyes.

“Listen, something like ten percent of bats are rabies carriers. If I got guys in there foaming at the mouth, I need to know.”

“I don't think- I mean, most of the injuries happened in the stampede out.” Cap nodded.

Anybody left inside?”

A few stragglers, maybe. But we got cast in there still trapped in their rigs.”

“Buck, Eddie, head around back, see if you can figure out the power situation; we can't save what we can't see.”

“On it, Cap.”

Buck basically bounced beside him, the dark not hindering his usual enthusiasm in the slightest as they made their way around to the back of the… structure. “Do you know, it’s been ages since I've done the whole haunted house thing. We should take Christopher to one; I bet he’d love it.”

“I’m not sure this counts as a house, Buck, and no, we are not taking my son to a place where he’s gonna get attacked by a horde of bats.” Buck groaned laughingly, bumping into Eddie’s shoulder purposefully.

“Come on, Eddie, obviously we wouldn’t go to one that’s built in a bat’s natural habitat in the middle of a mosquito invasion. There are indoor ones we could go to.

“I don’t think he’d like being scared half to death either, Buck.” Buck snorted.

“Puh-lease. We are talking about the same kid right? The one who watched ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’ like it was a comedy.” They pulled open a pair of doors that Eddie assumed led to the generator but the room was so dark Eddie couldn’t even see his own hand in front of his face.

“I still can’t believe you let him watch that.” Eddie muttered as he squinted, trying to see through the gloom.

“Okay but in my defence how was I supposed to know it was a horror movie?” Buck’s voice came from deeper in the room causing Eddie to frown. Was he wandering around in literal blind hope or could the cat shifter actually see that well in the pitch black?

“Buck. It’s called ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’; what did you think it was going to be? And can you even see in here?””

Eddie. I’m a cat. Of course I can see in here. And besides, film titles don’t really mean anything half the time. Maybe it was a rom com about a ton of dates going wrong. Been there, done that, and I would definitely call that a nightmare.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Sure, Buck, whatever you say.” It was at that moment that the generator roared to life and the lights flickered back on, revealing Buck’s triumphant grin.

“Face it, Eds, you’re the one that doesn’t want to be scared half to death.” Eddie grumbled under his breath, gesturing Buck out of the room and closing the doors securely behind them.

After they had helped get the various actors out of their rigs, Eddie leant against the truck next to Buck, waiting for the rest of the team to finish up with the last patient. “So, how’d it go the other day?” Buck asked.

“The other day?”

“Yeah, Carla mentioned you guys were going to tour that school for Chris.” Eddie twitched uncomfortably, crossing his arms preemptively.

“Oh. Right. Yeah, um, it was good. The school looks great; Chris will love it. And the interview went well I think.”

“Yeah? That’s great, man, I’m excited for you. So when will you find out if you’re all approved and everything?” Eddie cleared his throat that was suddenly and inexplicably dry. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous talking to Buck about this.

“They, uh, they need to speak to Shannon first. I called her so she’s going to come by in a couple of days and talk about it.” Buck was quiet for a moment, his brow furrowed in the way it did when he was trying to figure something out.

“And Shannon is…Chris’ mum?”

“Yeah… A-and my wife.”

The sudden silence was stifling. It seemed to drag out forever, to the point Eddie was opening his mouth to say something. He didn’t know what it was going to be but he could feel a tension rising between them and he needed to do something to break it. Thankfully, Buck beat him to it, though he wasn’t looking at Eddie, his eyes seemingly focused on the moving crowd in front of them.

“I…I didn’t realise you were married. I don’t think, you’ve, uh- you know, I don’t remember you mentioning her before.” Eddie swore he could hear an undercurrent of hurt in Buck’s voice and he scrambled to explain, twisting to face him though Buck continued to studiously avoid his gaze.

“It’s a bit complicated. We’ve been separated a while and, I guess, I-” Whatever explanation he’d been about to give was cut off by the team’s return.

“If you two are done relaxing over here, let’s get back shall we?” Cap called. Buck straightened quickly, yanking the truck door open.

“Can’t help it if you’re getting slow in your old age, Bobby,” he quipped.

Buck continued to joke with Cap on the way back but Eddie could hear the false note in his voice, could see how Buck’s smile wasn’t reaching his eyes. Eddie’s heart dropped as Buck refused to look in his direction, even once, and didn’t bump his knee against Eddie’s as he normally would. Clearly Eddie had screwed up and he could taste the regret on his tongue.

For the rest of the shift Eddie knew Buck was avoiding him but, because of the cat’s senses, it wasn’t obvious enough for him to point out. If Eddie came into a room, Buck was already leaving it. If Eddie managed to catch him mid conversation, Buck had already spread himself over every free inch near him so that Eddie had to sit elsewhere. Eddie had managed to corner him in the kitchen, only for Buck and Bobby to order him out lest he ‘jinx the food’.

He’d planned to wait him out at the end of shift but they ended up getting called out at the last minute and having to do overtime, meaning it was Eddie rushing to leave whilst Buck took his time, not even emerging from the shower before Eddie was having to run for his truck.

As Eddie’s texts went unanswered that evening he was determined that he’d get to Buck, one way or another, on their shift tomorrow. As it turned out, however, Eddie didn’t need to hunt Buck to the ground.

Eddie had gotten to the station early and perched next to the coffee machine, intending to not move a muscle until Buck showed up to get his usual coffee fix. But the shifter in question strolled up to him, easy as you like, as soon as he’d changed.

“Hey, man.” Buck greeted, cheerful as ever. Eddie eyed him suspiciously.

“Hey?” Buck raised an eyebrow at Eddie’s questioning tone.

“You good?”

“Am I good?”

“Yeah, dude, you look all…” Buck waved his arm up and down, gesturing at Eddie. “...weird,” he finished with a shrug, leaning back against the counter as he cradled his mug.

“Oh I’m being weird, huh? What about you?” Eddie wanted to wince, he hadn’t planned on accusing Buck but his blasé attitude was annoying him. He was acting as if yesterday hadn’t happened.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about; I’ve been here for, like, five minutes.”

“I’m not talking about now, Buck, I’m talking about yesterday?”

“Yesterday?” The cat sounded so genuinely confused that Eddie felt his temper rising. He took a step forward, his finger pointed at Buck.

“Yes, yesterday! I tell you I'm married and suddenly you’re avoiding me like the plague and ignoring my texts. Ring a fucking bell, Buck?”

“Jesus, man.” Buck leaned further away from him with a frown. “You’re freaking out because I wasn't hanging off of you for a few hours?” Something about the way Buck said it made Eddie’s gut churn. There was a tone to it that Eddie couldn’t identify.

“You freaked out because you found out I was married!”

“Wait, you’re married?” Eddie belatedly realised the team had joined them at some point when Chim interrupted them. He looked at them only to be greeted by various surprised faces across the board.

“Um…” Eddie shifted his weight in discomfort, instantly losing his anger.

“Yeah, exactly.” Buck muttered into his cup, Eddie threw him a half-hearted glare. Buck only sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I’m not gonna lie; the idea that I didn't know such a major part of my best friend’s life threw me for a loop. So sue me. You can’t expect to just drop a bomb like that and for m- for people to be normal about it, Eddie.” Eddie opened his mouth to retort but Buck continued. “But I wasn't ‘freaking out’, I just needed to get over it. Which. I have. So, we good or what?” Eddie swallowed, something in the back of his brain was screaming that no they were definitely not good. But there wasn’t a reason he could think of for why they wouldn’t be. If Buck was saying he was fine, then that was the end of it right? So Eddie allowed his shoulders to drop, giving his partner a half smile.

“Yeah, man, sorry I just- I was… Worried, I guess.” Buck gave him a returning smile, clapping his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie almost collapsed in relief at the familiar connection between them. Dios, but it had only been a day without it and Eddie had felt like he’d lost a limb.

“Don’t be; s’all good. Good luck with this lot though.” He inclined his head at the team and used Eddie’s distraction to abandon him to them completely.

“Traitor!” Eddie yelled after him, much to Buck’s obvious amusement.

Chapter 11

Summary:

Eddie's gonna dumb

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Eddie couldn’t help but frantically clean his apartment. He wanted to show Shannon that he and Chris were doing just fine without her. Better than fine; they were thriving. It was stupid and petty but Eddie was helpless against the instinct.

Once his apartment was polished within an inch of its life, Eddie began to have second thoughts. He didn’t want Shannon to think he’d gone to so much effort just for her. Pathetically, Eddie ran into his bedroom; tugged a sweater out of his wardrobe; and returned to the living room to drape it over the arm of the sofa. He took a step back and surveyed his handiwork, deeming it satisfactory. He ran his hands through his hair nervously. Dios mio, this was going to be a disaster. This already was a disaster.

Before he could stress himself out completely there was a tentative knock at his door. Eddie took a deep breath that did absolutely nothing to calm him; ran his hand through his hair one more time; and then crossed to pull the door open, mustering his best approximation of a welcoming smile. And there she was. Two years later, still looking the same, if only less angry and more unsure than when he’d last laid eyes on her.

“Hi.” Dios, was that the best he could come up with, ‘hi’? Shannon gave him a small amused smile as if she had heard the thought.

“Hi.” There was a moment where she stepped closer and Eddie was unsure whether he wanted to pull her close or step away. In the end the lure of her familiar scent, that had offered him comfort in his darkest days, won out. They embraced lightly but Eddie could still feel the faint tremor running through her and he could smell the strange tang she always got in her scent when she was upset. That tang had been all that Eddie had smelt those first few days after she left.

“Thanks for coming,” he murmured into the skin at the crook of her neck.

Her answering, “Yeah,” was just as soft and strained. They pulled away awkwardly.

Shannon looked around the room, crossing to the mantle eagerly to examine the photos displayed there. They were mostly old ones but he had recently framed the picture they’d taken with Buck the day Chris had spent at the 118. It was both his and Chris’ favourite.

Shannon stroked over Chris’ face, whispering “He's gotten so big,” to herself, though she knew Eddie would still hear her. She turned back to face Eddie nervously. “Has... he asked about me?” Eddie wanted to wince at the question.

“Not in a while.” Seeing her face fall, he rushed to offer her any comfort he could. “He has a lot to keep him busy, though... the move; new school; new city; new people.” Her face twisted into the expression he was most familiar with: barely restrained anger.

“Sure, sure. Yeah. He must've been shocked when you said you were leaving Texas. I sure was when you called the other day.”

“Shannon…” Eddie said with a touch of impatience. She waved him away, quickly changing the subject.

“So... tell me about this school.” Eddie gestured to the brochures he’d left out on the coffee table. She took a seat on the edge of the couch, leafing through them slowly.

“They want to meet you. Well, need to meet you. It's a requirement for admission.”

“It looks... fancy. Not the kind of place I thought you'd be into.” Eddie shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets, feeling uncomfortable under her scrutiny.

“Classes are smaller. Ten kids instead of 30. Uh... I mean, the art studio...You should have seen him.” Her head whipped up, a blazing hope in her eyes.

“Can I? See him? I mean, this is a big step. Switching schools when he just got here. Maybe I could talk to him? Make sure it's what he wants.” Eddie frowned at the insinuation; he’d been the one raising their son alone for the past two years.

“I don't think that's a good idea. It... it might confuse him.”

“What's confusing? I'm his mum.”

Snorting, he couldn’t help the derision in his voice, “Who he hasn't seen in almost two years?” Shannon puffed up defensively.

“My mother was sick. She was all alone. I... You know why I had to go.”

“Yeah, but we were expecting you to come back. And you didn't.” Eddie knew he sounded harsh but she hadn’t been there for the months of their son crying at his mothers absence and the eventual sad resignation as they both accepted she was never coming back.

“You could've come with me. But you didn't want to leave Texas and your parents and your sisters, and... At least not until it was something that was important to you.”

“That's not fair. I was trying to do what's best for Christopher.” She scoffed, standing again, pacing the room as she became more worked up.

“Right. Because Eddie always knows what's best for everyone. I mean, God forbid you stop for a second and actually ask them what they need.”

“What did you need that I didn't give you?” She whirled on him.

“You! I needed a husband and a co-parent. And instead, all I got was a life alone in Texas with a baby and you on another continent. I needed someone to have my back.” Eddie swallowed down his instinctive response, trying to soften his tone.

“I always had your back.”

“No. You were in Afghanistan.” The silence was all encompassing as they stared at each other. Finally, Shannon snorted, shaking her head. She gave him one last scathing glare before slamming her way out of the apartment. Eddie deflated. That could have gone better.

Eddie tried to hide his foul mood on his next shift but Buck clocked it before Eddie’d even stepped foot in the loft. Because of course he did. As Eddie slouched down into the sofa a steaming cup of coffee was placed in front of him and a warm body lounged against him. “You okay, Eds?” Eddie heaved a sigh, snatching up the mug to hide his face behind.

A part of him was crying out to bury his face in Buck’s neck and just breathe him in but, since he couldn’t, he settled for the remnants of scent that Buck had left on the mug. Eddie searched out the spot that had the strongest scent of Buck and practically pressed his nose to it.

When they’d first met the almost lemony undertones to Buck’s scent had reminded him of Shannon but, now that he’d experienced the angry tang of Shannon’s scent again, he couldn’t compare the two. Where Shannon’s was bitter and static, Buck’s was fresh and energising. Like pure bottled sunshine.

An elbow nudged him. “Eddie?”

“Huh?” Buck leant forward so that he could meet his eyes.

“What’s up?” Eddie gave in easily, helpless against Buck’s concerned puppy eyes.

“Shannon came round yesterday.” Buck’s face pinched, the citrus making way slightly for the salty smell Buck sometimes had that reminded Eddie of an ocean breeze or fresh rain in the desert.

He suddenly remembered the off-hand comment Buck had made when they’d been stuck up a halfway-collapsed building in the middle of an earthquake, only a few weeks into working together. Dios, they hadn’t even really been friends then but Buck had referred to Eddie’s scent like he could tell what Eddie was feeling from it. Was Buck’s nose so good that he’d already known Eddie’s scent intimately enough to detect the subtle differences? Was Eddie now gaining that knowledge or had it been there all along, just waiting for Eddie to actually pay attention for once in his life?

“Didn’t go well I take it?” Buck’s soft, understanding voice put Eddie’s internal musings on hold. He snorted.

“You could say that.”

“Is she going to go to the interview or…?” Eddie simply shrugged, evading Buck’s sympathetic gaze. Rather than offering up some kind of meaningless consolation, Buck placed a big warm hand on Eddie’s knee, squeezing it once, before settling back into the sofa. He didn’t press further, instead diving into an enthusiastic description of the conservation methods for the many different types of bats. Eddie closed his eyes, leaning into Buck, as he slowly sipped his perfectly made coffee.

If anyone else noticed Eddie’s quiet mood for the rest of the shift they made no mention of it to him. Judging from the occasional looks given to Buck, though, Eddie thought it was less that they hadn’t noticed and more that a certain cat had warned them off. He added it to his mental list of why he owed Evan Buckley the world.

Over the next week, Eddie turned his focus onto Halloween, putting his estranged wife out of his mind the best that he could. Buck had been bouncing around the station almost as much as Christopher had been at home, both of them on a whole new level of excitement. Chris had invited Buck to go trick or treating with them at their last movie night. Eddie shouldn’t have but he’d assumed that Buck would have other plans already and had braced to soften the blow for Chris. However, as is Buck’s way, he’d lit up the entire room with his enthusiasm for it instead, the two of them immediately beginning a very serious discussion on costumes. Eddie had been all but ousted out of the living room when he’d sensibly suggested that they didn’t have enough time for their more elaborate ideas. He’d kept his input to a minimum after that.

Carla was just placing some shopping bags down when Eddie emerged from his room in his costume. He’d been putting the final touches to Chris’ costume when the boy had playfully pushed him away to go get ready himself. She laughed at her first look at him, her eyes scanning him up and down. “Are you some kind of pirate?”

“Snake Plissken? Escape from New York? Kurt Russell? John Carpenter's masterpiece?”

“Oh, right, right. Well, I prefer Tango & Cash myself. But you look cute, so I approve.” She grinned at him. Eddie tried to return it but his thoughts started running away from him; Carla’s presence reminding his brain of his current predicament. Though I'm disappointed that costume didn't come with a smile.” Eddie sighed, flipping his eye patch up, feeling weird talking about it in full costume.

“I had a fight with Shannon. When I asked her to help with Christopher and the school, she asked to see Christopher first.”

“And you said no?” Eddie nodded silently, cringing at her incredulous expression. “Okay, if you want her back in your life, you're gonna have to ease her back into it at some point.”

Who said I want her back in my life?” Eddie muttered defiantly. Carla gave him a smug smile that Eddie did not like one bit.

“Please. So you decided to leave Texas, and you just so happened to choose a job working minutes from where your ex lives?”

“LAFD are the best in the country. In the world.” Carla shook her head, switching tactics.

“If she's gotten herself back together, you know what's best for your son. And that's for his mother to be back in his life. Sooner rather than later.” Eddie hesitated before voicing his worst fear.

“What if she screws up again?”

“Both of you have grown up a lot over the years. And a boy needs his mama,” Carla said softly just as the sounds of Chris clattering down the hall reached them.

Eddie grinned widely as he got his first good look at him in his Wolverine costume. Biassed or not, his kid was definitely the best kid. “Daddy?” Chris giggled before posing for Carla with a growl, Eddie laughed and joined him.

“You know what, you're so cute, I could just rip you to shreds,” Carla exclaimed.

“I’ve got to agree with you there, Carla.” Buck’s voice from behind them startled Eddie but Chris let out a loud squeal, his metal ‘claws’ flying in every direction.

“Buck!” Buck squatted, scooping Chris up against his chest, before rising to his full height with Chris resting on his hip. Eddie about swallowed his tongue.

Christopher had convinced Buck to dress up as Mr Incredible after they had dragged Buck to see the sequel this summer and Chris had immediately become obsessed. At the time Eddie had teased Buck about having to wear a onesie with underwear over the top but now…Now Eddie was staring blankly at his best friend. The onesie in question clung to every dip and curve of Buck’s body and it was very very clear that there wasn’t a muscle suit under there. Nope that was all Buck. Eddie tried to force his eyes away from Buck’s body and to his face but somehow the mask only enhanced Buck’s baby blues. He tried to focus on his disappointment that it covered his birthmark instead. He wasn’t very successful.

“Buckeroo! Well don’t you just look… Incredible.” Carla crowed, earning an eyeroll from Buck.

“Wow, Carla, that was terrible.” Chris giggled, patting Buck’s face to get his attention.

“You, Mister, look Incredible.” His son grinned, proud of himself when Buck chuckled.

“Oh, you think you’re so funny, huh? How about now?” Buck teased as he started tickling him, causing Chris to laugh loudly even as he tried to squirm away.

“No, Buck, no! Daddy, help me!” Eddie snapped out of his stupor just in time to rescue his son from his very own personal health hazard, giving Buck a mock glare.

“Alright, break it up you two!” Buck grinned unrepentantly, Christopher mirroring his expression perfectly. Dios, but he was in trouble if Chris kept that up.

“Okay, you three, shoo, before I gobble you all up; y’all lookin’ too scrumptious. Christopher, you keep them in line tonight.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Chris’ saluted her cheekily, getting a tut and a pinched cheek in return before Buck was ushering them out the door.

“Bye, Carla!”

Her cry of, “Don’t have too much fun, boys,” followed them out the door.

As they were ambling back towards his apartment, Eddie kept an eye on Chris. He’d been an absolute trooper most of the night, walking almost the entire time, but now that they were heading home Eddie was expecting him to tire out pretty quickly. A part of him still itched to just pick him up regardless but he had to trust that Chris would ask for help when he needed it. Eddie refused to take any of his son’s independence away from him.

Buck brushed against him with every other step as they trailed behind the boy. “Hey, thanks for inviting me tonight.” Eddie raised an eyebrow at him.

“Pretty sure Chris was the one inviting you.” Buck laughed, nudging him harder on the next pass.

“Okay, well thanks for letting me come then.” Eddie nudged him right back.

“You’re seriously thanking me for letting you come trick or treating with me and my kid, Buck?” Buck shrugged.

“Probably the best Halloween I’ve had in years.” Eddie laughed disbelievingly. How could a man like Buck possibly not have anything better to do with his time than waste it on Eddie and a kid that he wasn’t even related to?

“Man, if that’s true you need to re-evaluate your life,” Eddie teased. He expected Buck to tease right back but when he didn’t so much as utter a noise, Eddie glanced over at him. There was an expression on his face that Eddie hadn’t seen before and he stopped them to try and read it better but, as soon as Eddie put his hand on Buck’s arm, Buck was shooting him an easy smile.

“Yeah, maybe.” The laugh Buck let out then rubbed Eddie entirely the wrong way, yet he couldn’t tell what was wrong with it. It was the same laugh he’d heard countless times and the same smile Buck gave everyone, but something in Eddie had tensed up.

Before Eddie could question him Chris gave in, yelling that since Mr Incredible was the strongest he had to carry him. Buck was gone from his side instantly; the strange moment broken. “Oh is that right? All that metal has made you so heavy! Oh God, my arms; they’ll never recover!” Buck feigned struggling to lift Chris, much to the boy's delight, and the weirdness from before was forgotten under the sheer tide of affection Eddie felt watching the two of them.

Two days later, Eddie got a call from the school letting him know that Shannon was scheduled to go in for her interview. He gnawed on his lip as his thumb hovered over her contact in his phone. Giving in to the urge, he typed out a text to her asking her to stop by afterwards. She agreed not ten minutes later.

Hey.”

“Hey.” Shannon’s smile was even more wary this time round. “We’ve been here before.” Eddie huffed a small laugh as he stepped aside to let her in.

“School called to tell me about your appointment. Thought I'd ask you over.”

“Yeah, I figured. Well, don't worry. I didn't tank the interview, okay? Least, I don't think I did.” She started wringing her hands and Eddie had to stop himself reaching out to still them.

“I'm sure you did great,” he reassured her. “I appreciate it. Christopher will, too.” Whilst Eddie wanted to show his gratitude Shannon clearly took it the wrong way; her face hardening.

“That's why you invited me over... to pass along ‘thank-you’s from my own son?” Eddie rubbed a hand over his face, sighing, before bracing himself for the conversation that had been brewing since his first call to his wife.

“When you left... I understood. I tried to,” he corrected. “You were taking care of your mother, and I was trying to take care of Christopher, and... and we-we just drifted further away from each other. But I always thought you'd come home. Maybe we'd have a chance to make things right. But you didn't. So I guess I-I just... I need to know. Why?” Shannon’s face lost its edge looking almost desperate suddenly, as if she were begging him to understand.

“I didn't know how. The longer I was gone, the harder it was to come back. To face you. And to face Christopher and... He must hate me.” Her voice became choked and tears welled in her eyes. Eddie frowned, taking a stuttering step closer to her instinctively.

“What are you talking about? Why would Christopher hate you?”

“Because I did this to him. I have relived every moment of that pregnancy so many times, just trying to figure out how it happened, and... what I did wrong. And I thought I could make up for it, so I did all this research, finding new treatments and different therapies. But it was all still so overwhelming and exhausting, and I just... needed a break. So then the mother who hurt her kid left him. I'm sorry.” Eddie stood frozen in horror before he abruptly pulled her into a tight hug. He’d had no idea that Shannon had felt this way all these years, that she had piled all this blame onto herself.

“You didn't do anything wrong. What happened... wasn't your fault.” She sniffled against him, her face pressed into his chest.

“I... I know that. I just... I don't feel it.”

Christopher loves you. And he misses you.” She leant back to meet his eyes again and Eddie found himself getting lost in their teary blue depths. They weren’t the blue he craved but they were familiar all the same, and offered their own version of comfort. I missed you. I miss you,” he admitted softly.

He felt rather than heard Shannon suck in a breath, her imploring gaze never wavering from his. Eddie wasn’t sure who moved first but suddenly they were kissing and it was an intimacy he’d missed so much he ached with it. But it wasn’t right; this wasn’t right; she wasn’t- Abruptly, he shoved himself away.

Eddie was breathing heavily as he fought against his two competing desires. A part of him did want this, he wanted the one part of their relationship that had always worked. He wanted to reconnect with Shannon and this was always what they did best. But a part of him was screaming that it wasn’t Shannon that he wanted this with. Not anymore. He pictured ocean blue eyes; a sunshine scent enveloping him; strong arms supporting him always. But that was only a daydream. An unattainable daydream. This, here, with Shannon, was real. This Eddie could have. This was what Eddie should want.

He pulled her back in, their kiss immediately intensifying, turning wild, as they licked into each other’s mouths, their tongues clashing together. He gripped her hips, guiding her backwards towards his room, roughly pulling his clothes off as he went, Shannon stripping out of hers in tandem.

After, as they laid on their backs, next to each other but not touching, Eddie found that the part of him that yearned for his best friend had not quieted; it had only gotten louder. He pushed it down harshly as Shannon turned on her side, a tentative finger ghosting down his arm. “I have to get going.” Eddie nodded, unable to meet her eyes, lest she see the regret in them.

“Okay.”

Notes:

"Oh, Eddie, my beloved, why have you done this?" she asks as if she didn't write it.

Chapter 12

Summary:

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Buck 1.0.

Chapter Text

Buck woke up with a terrible feeling. His eyes snapped open and he stared at the ceiling for longer than he should when he had to get up for a shift. Maddie always called it his ‘Spidey-Cat’ sense but Buck just thought of it as simply knowing the Universe had it out for him. It’s just some days he felt it more acutely than others.

For example, this morning Buck’s ‘Spidey-Cat’ sense was screaming at him that he’d be better off just skipping today altogether. Buck snorted; he was sure the higher ups would see that as a valid reason for calling out of work. Sorry, Sir, Buck couldn’t come to work today because the Universe told him it was a bad idea. Yeah, no. With a resigned sigh, Buck accepted his fate and dragged himself into the shower.

As Buck was puttering about in his locker he learnt that the Universe was just trying to be kind to him today. Eddie shuffled in with a wide yawn that Buck would ordinarily be teasing the hell out of but instead he stood stock still, like prey scenting danger. Because very much mixed in with Eddie’s scent was that of a woman’s.

It was the same scent that Eddie had had traces of on him after his fight with his wife. The amount on him then had been miniscule, enough that Buck hadn’t been able to get a good read on her. Today though it was saturating Eddie’s scent so much that Buck could tell his wife was human. A small part of him was surprised; wolves were so numerous it was more common for them to mate another wolf than not.

The majority of Buck however was focused on the fact that Eddie also reeked of sex. Guess their reconciliation went really well. He tried to reign in his bitterness but it was an uphill battle.

When Eddie had first told him he’d had a wife, Buck admits, he had freaked out. It was just Buck’s luck that he was infatuated with a married man, but then it had occurred to him that he’d never picked up the woman’s scent on Eddie, or Chris, and it was never in their apartment. So Buck had calmed himself with the realisation that they must be separated. Even when Eddie had explained about Chris’ school application, and their subsequent fight, Buck hadn’t truly lost hope.

He could have sworn that the way Eddie looked at him; the way Eddie touched him; hell just the way Eddie smelled when he was around Buck, versus the others, meant that Buck’s feelings were reciprocated. Even if it was only a mutual attraction. Buck could have worked with that. But now Buck’s hopes were crashing and burning in little bitty pieces on the ground.

As he scrambled to pull himself together, Eddie seemed to wake up enough to see that he wasn’t alone in the room. “Mornin’, Buck, you good?” He mumbled.

Buck’s “Yep,” was short and strangled but he hoped that Eddie’s lack of ability to function in the morning meant it would go unnoticed. Eddie grunted in reply as he slowly started to drag his clothes off. And absolutely not. Buck could not stand there and watch Eddie reveal the marks she’d left on him. He wanted to hiss and chuff at the wolf but he forced himself stiffly out of the room, refusing to look back in Eddie’s direction.

Buck avoided Eddie like the plague as the crew waited for their first call. Thankfully, since the sun hadn’t even come up yet, no one seemed to be with it enough to notice his efforts. However, even as Buck tried to pretend Eddie didn’t exist, he couldn’t help but notice that Eddie wasn’t exactly acting like a man who’d had make-up sex with his wife. His scent, what Buck could make out underneath the overwhelming floral stench anyway, was all spice and there was a constant furrow on his brow. Buck yearned to go to him, to comfort him and bring back the musk that he loved so much, but he couldn’t. He could be the best friend later; right now he needed time to lick his wounds.

Just as Bobby was summoning him to help make breakfast, a distraction Buck whole-heartedly welcomed, they got their first call out. The truck slogged through the morning traffic even with the sirens on full blast, made worse by the fact that they were heading to a freeway that had been closed due to a potential jumper. Buck sighed impatiently. The longer he was stuck in the tight space, with Eddie smelling like that, the worse his mood was getting. So much for having time to throw himself a pity party.

At some point Eddie seemed to wake up and realise that his partner wasn’t exactly in much of a better mood than he seemed to be. Buck spotted the movement of Eddie’s knee out of the corner of his eye, clearly intending to do their usual bump of reassurance, and swiftly acted like he just so happened to shift in his seat at that exact moment, and what do you know, now he was out of range of the wolf. Considering Eddie didn’t call him out on it, Buck felt like he pulled the nonchalant act off well enough. He just did not want to be touching him right now; his skin crawled at just the thought.

When they pulled up to the bridge, Buck practically dove out of the truck. “That traffic was something, huh, Buckaroo?” Hen teased with a light nudge when she joined him at a more reasonable speed.

“Tell me about it,” Buck muttered darkly. His tone caused Hen to frown slightly, now looking vaguely concerned. Before she could ask anything Bobby was ordering him and Eddie to make their way up onto the bridge and prepare for Buck to lower down to the ledge that the woman was pacing on. Buck complied eagerly, basically running from Hen and her worried gaze.

“See me, Norman! See me now?!” The woman’s cry had Buck leaning a little over the edge. When he saw her proudly flashing half of LA Buck laughed, shaking his head.

“What?” Eddie asked curiously. Buck didn’t explain, just jerking his chin in the woman’s direction as he checked his harness and rope. Eddie looked over before backing away quickly with a snort. Buck almost forgot his atrocious mood as they shared matching grins and wiggling eyebrows. He forced himself to look away before Eddie could see his expression fall.

“Okay, move Buck into position.” Bobby’s voice came over the radio. Buck nodded at Eddie, who acknowledged the order as Buck carefully climbed over the railing and lowered himself down.

“I-I told you! I told-” The woman was cut off by the sound of a gunshot right as Buck landed on the platform. He spun to locate the source, wincing as his ears rang from the loud noise but before he could attempt to shield the woman from the gunfire she was pivoting towards him with a gun pointed at him. Buck raised his hands in surrender, strangely more disturbed by the crazy glint in her eyes than the gun aimed in his direction.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey.”

“Lola, listen to me very carefully. You now have every firearm in the Greater Los Angeles area pointed at you. If you continue to threaten that man, they will fire. Do you understand? Do you?” Buck didn’t look away from Lola as Athena tried to reason with her over the megaphone. Lola’s hand trembled but she lowered the gun a little so that it wasn’t quite pointed at Buck anymore. He cautiously lowered his hands back down.

“I don't want to hurt anybody. I just can't handle being ignored anymore.” Buck swallowed heavily. God, could he relate to that.

“I know exactly what you mean.” She scoffed, waving the gun in such a casual way that had Buck desperately wanting to take a step back.

“Oh, come on. Yes, I'm-I'm sure you get ignored all the time.”

You have a Norman. I have- had an… Abby.” Buck corrected himself quickly, knowing that Eddie would be hovering above him, probably waiting for the first opportunity to drag Buck back up to safety. “You think that you have something...something special, you know? They could be the one. So you wait. And then, at some point, it hits you: you're alone. They’re not… coming back.” Buck stumbled, trying to not be completely obvious. “You're just there to… collect the mail, and-and it is piling up, right? And then-and then you realise… You know what? It's not going to happen. You just need to face it and move on.”

As the words spilled out of Buck he felt tears welling in his eyes. He really should take his own advice. If he thought about it Eddie never actually gave him any real indication that he was even remotely interested in Buck and, of course, the guy should do everything he could to make his family whole again. Buck shouldn’t begrudge him that, couldn’t begrudge him that; it’s not his fault Buck’s type was apparently unavailable. What kind of person would Buck be if he held his own feelings, that had never been encouraged, against someone who only ever wanted to be friends with him.

Thankfully, Lola’s husband captured her attention before she could respond and Buck had to have any more earth shattering realisations. “Uh, L-Lola. Lola, honey, it's me. I'm here. And I see you, just like the sign says.”

“Liar! You look right through me. Y-You don't even notice me. I-I'm just around to... collect the mail.” Buck winced; of all the things to get from his stupid speech.

Lola, honey. Honey, now, listen to me. I-I'm here, and I see you. And I need you to put down the gun, okay? Put the... put down the gun and let them bring you to me. And then we can spend the rest of our lives together, and I can show you how much I love you.”

“I don't believe you, Norman. You don't even know who I am anymore. I mean... I don't even know. I've been a mother for 18 years. And now that Zack's gone, I don't remember who I was before that. Back when you used to look at me.”

She looked at Buck and what was left of his heart went out to her. He could see a defeat entering her eyes that rivalled his own; the blazing crazy glint fading into sadness. “Maybe you're right. Maybe it is over.” She looked at the ground then, far too intently for Buck’s liking. He felt a surge of panic and stuttered forward half a step, his arm coming up as if to catch her.

“Uh, n-no, no, no, no, no. Um, okay, m-maybe I wasn't being super clear on the point I was trying to make…” He trailed off in confusion as music began to play but Lola started crying, even as she smiled widely.

“Oh, my God. That song. He remembered. It was our first date. We went to see S-Say Anything.”

“I see you. I see you. Lola, I see you. I see the girl who used to sneak out to the beach bonfires and listen to The Psychedelic Furs and The Cure. Lola! Lola, I see you! I see the girl who once drank nine shots of Jager and woke up without a hangover! Lola, I see you. I see the girl I love!”

Lola seemed to take stock of her position then, her eyes widening in horror as she tried to back away from the edge. Buck stepped forward quickly to wrap an arm around her waist. His free hand gently pried the gun out of her shaking hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's okay.”

“I think I want to get down now,” She quietly murmured into Buck's shoulder. He nodded even as he was looking up to pass Eddie the gun. The wolf was already reaching down for it, his eyes crinkled with worry and his mouth a harsh line. He slid a glare over to Lola in Buck’s arms before disappearing back over the rail again. Buck felt the slack pick up in his line and then they were pulled up to safety.

As they watched Athena arrest Lola, Bobby sidled up to Buck with a gentle hand on his shoulder. “What'd you say to her?”

“Just, you know,” Buck’s eyes found Eddie’s subconsciously but he forced them away when he saw the sympathetic understanding in the wolf’s eyes. He only hoped it’d been prompted by Eddie believing it was Abby he’d been referencing and not- Let’s not even think it anymore, Buckley; you have got to move on. “… that everything's gonna be okay.”

The shift seemed to drag on longer than any other ever had, even that first shift he’d worked with Eddie. Somehow feeling hurt and yet knowing he had no right to was worse than feeling jealous and knowing he had no reason to be. Who’d have thought? Buck had just figured that, after all the years of rejection and never being enough for those he cared for, he’d be used to it by now. Apparently Buck wasn’t as impervious to that particular brand of pain as he’d previously believed.

He was only thankful that whatever was preoccupying Eddie meant that he seemed none the wiser. He’d checked in with Buck as usual after each call but was content to hide himself away in the gym for most of the shift. Buck didn’t join him. He knew Hen at least had picked up on it, though he was trying his best to appear normal, but Buck had been surprised when Chim approached him towards the end of the shift.

“Hey, man, want to go out for some drinks tonight?” Part of him wanted to say no so he could go home and wallow but, when he saw Hen’s keen gaze on the two of them, he relented with a slightly forced grin.

“Sounds good; it’s been a while.”

Chim texted him the address for a bar he swore would be exactly what Buck needed but when Buck entered the badge and ladder joint he grimaced. He hadn’t been to a place like this since before Abby, back in the Buck 1.0 era.

Chim already had a drink waiting for him at the table as they greeted each other. He studiously ignored the blonde woman at the bar who was already trying to get his attention, in increasingly provocative ways, as he focused on chatting with his friend.

“I'm just... I'm nervous, you know?” He finally admitted after Chim kept prodding at his single status.

Are you afraid to get back on the horse?” Buck shrugged.

I don't want to revert back to being Buck 1.0. I-I know I'm single Buck again, but I want to be single Buck 2.0. Like, if I'd come in here with… Abby, I would never have noticed that blonde over there, licking the salted rim of her margarita glass while she maintains strong, intimate eye contact.” He really was trying not to look but Chim’s eyes widened excitedly, quickly looking over his shoulder to spot her.

“Okay, is that really happening?” Buck snorted at the disbelief in his voice. Honestly it wasn’t even the most obvious someone had been when trying to get Buck’s attention but it’d been a while since he’d been in a position where someone could act like that towards him. Something about it was making him decidedly uncomfortable. He could tell Chim didn’t get it so he leaned forward with a frown, trying to explain without announcing his business to the entire bar.

Say I go over there, right? I, uh... I talk to her, I make a joke; she smiles; we both laugh. Our-our shoulders touch, there's a moment, I lean in a little closer, she doesn't resist. One drink, two compliments later, we end up in bed together having totally meaningless sex.”

“Yeah, that sounds awful,” Chim deadpanned. Buck sighed, running a hand through his hair, dislodging some of the gel. He stopped mid-brush, forcing his hand away lest he get rid of all of the product taming his curls.

“I just... I don't want to be that guy again.”

“So don't be.”

He wanted to tell him that it just wasn’t that easy right now. He could feel the familiar itch under his skin, needing some kind of comfort for the latest blow to his heart. Or maybe it was a need for reassurance that he was still wanted for something at least. But that wasn’t a fair thought; Eddie still wanted him in his life just… not the way Buck wanted to be. But that was fine. Buck could do that. He just had to make sure his feelings for the shifter didn’t deepen any further. Super easy.

Thankfully a bartender appeared before Buck had to come up with a reply. “What can I get for you?”

“Ah, just, uh, two IPAs, please,” Buck ordered.

“And a glass of chardonnay.”

“Who's the wine for?” Buck asked with a frown.

“Maddie. She was parking.” Chim was typing away on his phone as he casually replied. Buck blinked at him.

“Uh, you invited my sister?” Maddie slipped into the seat next to Chim before he could answer and the man immediately put his phone away, smiling widely at her.

“Hi. Sorry I'm late. I don't know why I get on the freeway; I always regret it.” She offered Buck a quick grin but angled herself towards Chim.

“Because you are an eternal optimist, that's why.” Buck frowned more at Chim’s besotted tone. He wasn’t even aware they had each other’s numbers.

“That's true.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Oh, yeah, should we get that thing we got last time?” And what?

“Uh, last time?” Buck asked but he was ignored as a waitress arrived with their drinks. Chim ordered some kind of platter before the two of them were holding their drinks aloft, looking at Buck expectantly. He stiltedly clinked his bottle against their drinks, more confused than ever as he watched them chat away to each other.

At some point Buck was left alone at the table, Maddie and Chim playfully pushing each other onto the stage for their turn at karaoke. Buck couldn’t help feeling a little envious of them. He contemplated his empty beer bottle, wondering if he should make his escape and if they’d even notice that he was gone. If he’d wanted to be reminded of how terribly alone he was he could have done that in the privacy of his bed rather than having to sit here and have the world see how pathetic he was.

A glass with a light amber liquid was placed in front of him by a bartender. Buck raised his eyebrow at it, he definitely hadn’t ordered another drink and the blonde woman from before had finally gotten the hint ten minutes ago. “Uh, what's this?” He asked.

“Bourbon, neat. The lady said real heroes don't drink pale ale.” Buck followed their gesture to see none other than Taylor Kelly smirking at him from across the bar. Great, just who he wanted to witness his inevitable public breakdown.

She slid into the seat next to him. “I see Chimney's got a girlfriend.” Buck rolled his eyes, looking over at his sister and friend singing their hearts out.

“No. No, he does not. Uh, that-that's my sister.”

Oh. Sorry.” She sounded anything but. “They're kind of good.” Her nose wrinkled and Buck found himself thinking it was kind of cute. He titled his head consideringly.

“Yeah, I know, right? It's, uh, it's weird.” They both sat quietly for a moment and Buck found himself inhaling her scent. It was almost apple-like; a little sour and a little sweet at the same time. “So, hey, what's a fancy TV reporter like you doing in a badge and ladder joint like this?”

“Stalking you, of course.” Buck whipped his head around but relaxed when he saw her grin. “I'm kidding. The station is right around the corner, and I like to keep my ear to the ground. What about you? You come here a lot?” His sigh would have been obvious even to a human.

“Um, I-I used to, um, or places like it. I-I haven't in a while.” She leant towards him, her hand resting on his forearm.

“Why?”

“I was in a pretty serious relationship and then I, uh, thought maybe there was going to be something with someone, but I guess not.”

“You're not sure?”

“I'm-I'm pretty sure.” Saying it out loud hurt so much more than thinking it. “I'm actually even thinking about... dipping my toe back into the actual dating game again.” Maybe if he said it enough his heart would get on board.

“Just your toe?” Taylor's tone was husky as she shuffled closer, her breath whispering across his ear. Buck valiantly repressed a shiver.

“Um... I'm just trying to be responsible and well-behaved. You know, take it slow and-and do it right.” He swallowed at the sharp slow smile she gave him as she held her glass up to his.

“To restraint.” Buck met her eyes directly and suddenly he wasn’t so sure that Buck 1.0 had been all that wrong in his coping methods.

“To restraint.” He watched avidly as her tongue peeked out and traced along her lush red lips, leaving them glistening, an open invitation. He flicked his eyes back up. It wasn’t like Buck got the opportunity to be with other shifters much, let alone a feline one; who was he to pass up such an offering. And what had somebody once said? To get over someone you had to get under someone or something?

As he pulled Taylor up by her hand and led her to the bathrooms, not even trying to be discreet, Buck could certainly see the logic in that school of thought. As their lips met and they began consuming each other, Buck might even consider himself a convert.

He grabbed the back of Taylor’s thighs, pulling her up and wrapping her long supple legs around his waist as he pinned her against a wall. The move stretched her dress until it rolled up to settle at her hips. Buck met her purr of pleasure with his own rumble. He lost himself in the softness of her skin and the sharp prick of her claws.

He had a condom rolled on and was inside her within minutes; Taylor threw her head back with a gasp even as her legs tightened to bring him in closer, deeper. Buck was absolutely game for that. He set a quick pace, hammering into harder than he would a human, knowing she could take it. And take it she did; her claws constantly scratching at him, egging him on.

It was over just as quickly as it had begun and, as Buck emptied himself into the condom and Taylor’s legs slithered away, his gut churned, an insidious cold stealing inside of him. The familiar feeling of being empty and yet so unsatisfied made Buck want to bury his face in the next available throat just to try again, to chase his pleasure until he finally felt warm, but he knew now it would never be enough.

Taylor chuckled as she straightened her clothes. Buck followed suit on autopilot, a fake grin plastered on his face. Taylor didn’t see it but that wasn’t her fault. She kissed him on the cheek. “I have to get going, stud. I’ll see you around.” And then she was gone. Buck didn’t bother going back to the table, opting to head straight home so he could scrub the scent of apples off of his skin. He really should listen when the Universe screams at him.

Chapter 13

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Buck found himself dodging Chim’s smug looks on their next shift. Hen was being more subtle but it was obvious Chim had already spilled the beans to her. Bobby seemed to be giving him opportunities to talk but didn’t appear to be in the know… not fully anyway. And Eddie had been frowning at him in confusion since he got in. Between the crew and his minor- okay definitely major -emotional melt down following his little…relapse, Buck was completely and utterly done with it.

He sighed loudly when Chim perched obnoxiously close on the coffee table. “Alright, Chim, spit it out.” He received a shit-eating grin.

“I’m just curious, you said you were nervous but you didn’t look all that nervous when you were practically dragging that woman into the bathroom.” Buck groaned, slouching back into the sofa in the vain hope that it would swallow him whole.

“I didn’t drag her into the bathroom.”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Buckaroo.”

“You didn’t ask one, Howie.”

“Oh ho ho! Like that is it? Why, Evan, are you blushing?” Buck aimed an irritable chuff at the man even as he attempted to hide his flushed face with his arm.

Thankfully, before Chim could continue his interrogation, the bell rang. Buck was off the sofa and launching himself down the stairs before it’d even stopped ringing.

“So who was she?” Hen was the one to ask, in the back of the truck. Buck debated taking his headset off for the rest of the ride.

“Pretty sure it was Taylor Kelly.” Chim answered in his stead. Buck crossed his arms over his chest as he resolutely stared out the window. He was pretty sure he heard a grunt from Eddie’s direction but the wolf didn’t add anything as they continued their discussion. Apparently needing no input from either shifter, Hen and Chim kept up their comments for the entire trip.

As they arrived at the scene, Bobby held Buck back a little, his brows puckered with worry. “Seriously, Taylor Kelly, the reporter?”

“Yeah.” Even Buck could hear the weariness in his voice.

“I didn't know you two were seeing each other,” Bobby replied tactfully. Buck shrugged, his mouth twisting unpleasantly.

“We're not. I ran into her in this bar, we're hanging out, and next thing I know, we're

having sex in the bathroom. I…” He struggled to put into words how the encounter had only made the hole in his heart wider, without sounding ridiculous. “...kind of feel weird about it,” he finished lamely. Bobby raised an eyebrow at him, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah, which part?”

“I just thought I'd stopped being that guy; I thought Abby had changed me. But it’s like I'm right back at it.” Bobby brought them to a full stop with a hand on Buck’s chest, looking into his eyes seriously.

“Buck, you've been single for months.”

Buck nodded but the reassurance barely scratched the surface of the self-hatred spiral he found himself in. He knew that if he told Bobby the whole truth, how he hadn’t exactly felt single until last shift and that, as soon as he realised he truly was single, he was having a random hookup on the very same night, his captain wouldn’t be comforting him. No, he’d probably be keeping a tighter grip on the truck keys, just in case.

Bobby’s frown intensified so Buck continued, trying to make sense of the mess in his mind. “I like her, you know, and not just 'cause she's a feline shifter, but now if I do want to call and, you know, ask her out, she's gonna think I'm only after one thing.”

“You are only after one thing. Jerk.” The unfamiliar womans’ voice startled Buck. He spotted the woman the team were wheeling towards them on a gurney, glaring at him. He frowned as he worried his bottom lip, shoulders hunching slightly.

“You don't even know me.” He said, feeling vaguely sick. Was that really all anyone saw in him? She didn’t seem concerned with the insecurity that was no doubt rolling off of Buck in waves.

“You're a man. I know enough.” Somehow, that that was her reasoning, just his gender, was actually a little comforting. At least she wasn’t basing her opinion solely on his appearance; Buck had had more than his fair share of that over the years. Though, if he was being honest, it was definitely deserved back then. Probably still was.

Bobby patted him on the shoulder as he went to check if there was anything else they needed to do on scene but Buck remained where he was, watching as the team loaded the woman up into the ambulance. He waited until Bobby came back out before he followed the team back into the truck. He didn’t put his headset on, much to Chim’s obvious annoyance and Hen’s amusement. Buck simply flipped them the bird and looked out the window again. He tried not to think about Eddie’s silence too much.

Throughout the rest of the shift Buck went back and forth in his mind about contacting Taylor again. On the one hand she was beautiful, smart, funny, and a fellow feline shifter. On the other, Buck’s instincts didn’t want to trust her. Then again maybe that was something that would come if he gave it time?

Yes, he’d trusted Abby as soon as he’d first heard her voice but he hadn’t trusted Eddie on first meeting. Although that wasn’t exactly all that shocking, considering he was a wolf and, just, so annoyingly hot. Not to mention his mouth watering scent; or his warm brown eyes; and the little freckle under his eye that Buck longed to kiss; also there was his- Alright, Buckley, Jesus; you’re supposed to be getting over your very married and therefore very unavailable best friend. A best friend who he had barely seen for hours- No, focus. Taylor. Taylor who was available. And into him. There was possibility with Taylor.

Buck decided that he owed it to himself to at least explore that option; or rather explore whether he could explore that option, anyway. That much determined, he shot the cat a quick text to ask if they could meet after his shift. He didn’t wait around for her answer, instead he gave himself permission to go hunt Eddie down. Just to make sure the wolf was okay, of course.

Buck approached the news van a little hesitantly, hunching his shoulders in. He watched for a moment as Taylor tapped away on her phone before she sighed, shifting her weight. It drew his eyes down her long body. Buck forced his eyes back up. That was what had gotten him into this excruciating mess in the first place.

“Long day?” He called out to her. She looked up with a smile, straightening and sliding her phone into her back pocket.

“Well, you know, the long days are the ones without a car chase.”

“Yeah, Cap always says it's strange to hope for boring, but... we do.” He shrugged awkwardly before stuffing his hands in his pocket.

“I'm just trying to get people not to change the channel at the words ‘city council’. Why?” Her smile sharpened and an interested glint entered her eyes. “You got a story for me?” Buck huffed a laugh, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at her.

“How about "Firefighter Acts Like a Pig"?” When she frowned slightly at him, Buck twisted his lips into a grimace. His hand came up to rub at the back of his neck self-consciously as he recalled his brief relapse into Buck 1.0. “Um, the other night, w-we were drinking, and I...I don't know, I...I was working through some stuff. I-I just, I don't want you to feel-”

“Buck. Did you come here to apologise?” Taylor sounded incredulous as she interrupted his nervous rambling. Buck fought a blush.

“I-I just don't want you to feel used or-or taken advantage of. Because I respect you, you know? I-I do. You're a professional, and th-that guy, that's not me. It used to be me.” She snorted, throwing her long red hair back over her shoulder.

“I'm a grown woman, Buck. And I'm the one who sent you the drink, remember?” Buck tilted his head as he considered her. She rolled her eyes in return before raising an expectant eyebrow. Buck’s smile was more genuine as he laughed a little awkwardly.

“Uh, fair enough. I guess I can take karaoke bathroom off my bucket list. So you want to grab a drink?”

“Mm. Some other time, maybe? I got a piece I got to cut. The Burbank Library is getting a new mural.” Buck blinked at her rejection but offered her a good natured smile; he couldn’t say he was all that surprised by it.

“Yep, have a good night.”

As he turned to leave she called after him, “What about a news van? Where's that on your bucket list?” He spun back to her with a frown and another tilt of his head.

“What?” She smirked at him.

“You look like an overgrown puppy doing that.” Before Buck could decide whether that was meant as an insult or not she was sliding the door of the van open and crooking her finger suggestively at him. “Come on, stud, you’ve never wanted to have sex in a news van?” Buck cleared his throat.

A part of him did consider Taylor’s offer but then he remembered the woman from earlier and the churning of his gut when he’d gotten home after the bar. That was Buck 1.0 and he was not going to be that guy again. “Uh. Not that I don’t appreciate the offer but it’s- it’s like I said, that guy, that's not me, not anymore.” The cat scoffed, both of her brows winging up even as she smirked.

“It sure was you pinning me against a wall the other night; you got a twin I don’t know about, Buckley?” Buck felt his cheeks flush brightly.

“I don’t want to be that guy again, Taylor.” His reply was quiet but more sure than he’d been for the entire conversation. “I’d be interested in getting to know you, dating you, but I’m not doing the whole hook up thing.”

Some part of his seriousness must have finally gotten across to Taylor as her expression softened and her smirk turned into a small wistful smile. “I appreciate the offer but that’s not me, not yet.” Buck huffed out a little laugh at her purposeful mirroring.

“Well, I’ll see you around then, Taylor Kelly.”

“See you around, stud.”

Notes:

Sorry this chapter is a little short but it 1) did NOT want to be written. Like at all. and 2) I liked ending it there as a goodbye to Taylor and Buck 1.0. Bon voyage to those two at least!

Chapter 14

Summary:

Buck contemplates love

Chapter Text

His next shift everything felt like it was back to normal. Like his weird interlude with Taylor and Eddie’s reconciliation with his wife had never happened, not that Eddie had mentioned that of course. Now, if only Buck could stop obsessively trying to sniff the guy, to see if her scent was on him any more than it had been, that would be great.

“Are you coming down with something?” Eddie’s voice was soft and caring, which Buck blames for his momentary lapse of brain function.

“Huh?” He replied oh so intelligently. Eddie’s smile was as soft as his voice and he laid the back of his hand gently against Buck’s forehead. The wolf hummed contemplatively.

“You don’t have a fever.” Buck blinked, trying to wrangle his thoughts into something other than ‘ohGodEddie’stouchingme’. Jesus, he really was pathetic.

“Oh, um, I think it’s just a bit of a cold.” He forced himself to lean back, out of Eddie’s space. Obviously he wasn’t worried about getting the wolf sick but he was worried about doing something more ridiculous since he clearly couldn’t think straight- ha -when they were so close to each other.

Eddie nudged Buck with his elbow before he shuffled into the space Buck had just vacated. “Hey, don’t worry about it; I’m practically immune to little bugs since I've been exposed to kid germs. Trust me, those things build up your tolerance like nothing else.” Buck bit back a groan but stayed put nonetheless, even as Eddie once again pressed along the length of his body. If anything, Buck thought, he was actually closer now; he shouldn’t have bothered moving in the first place.

“Tell me Buck doesn’t have the sniffles.” Chim bemoaned as he threw himself into the armchair across from them. Buck rolled his eyes.

“I’m fine.”

“Uh huh, that's what you said last time and then Cap had to send you home in the middle of the shift before you infected everyone else.” Eddie huffed next to him as he shook his head in exasperation. Buck harrumphed but before he could defend himself Bobby was speaking up from the kitchen.

“I sent Buck home because he was half-passed out in the locker room.” He pointed a spatula accusingly at Buck. “If it gets any worse, you tell me, Buck.”

“I’m fine!” Buck protested causing Bobby to raise a disbelieving eyebrow at him. He pouted. “I promise, Bobby, I’m completely fine; I can work.” Bobby hummed, scanning his face intently.

Eventually, he said, “Alright but the minute that changes you-”

“You’ll be the first to know.” Buck finished for him. Eddie slung an arm around Buck’s shoulders, completely derailing his train of thought and dissolving the indignation he was working himself up to.

“I’ll keep an eye on him, Cap,” The wolf declared. Bobby laughed and then muttered under his breath as he returned to fixing them lunch.

“I have no doubt about that.” Buck pretended he didn’t hear him or see the smug smirk Chim was giving them; he refused to acknowledge just how obvious he was in his, completely inappropriate, feelings. He also pretended that he wasn’t completely distracted by the fact that Eddie’s thumb was now rubbing soothing circles on Buck’s shoulder.

A couple hours later, a rare L.A. rain had started. Bobby was casting worried glances outside whilst Buck glared. “You okay?” Eddie asked as he came up behind them as they stood looking out the bay doors.

“It’s gonna be a busy night,” was all Bobby said, giving Buck a fond smile when he saw Eddie’s concerned gaze directed at Buck. Eddie looked between the two.

“But you like it busy?” He asked Buck hesitantly. Buck gave a quiet rumble of dissatisfaction as he continued to watch the downpour. Bobby laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.

“He likes busy nights when it’s not raining.” Buck saw Eddie grin and then struggle to bite it back.

“What’s the matter, Buckaroo, don’t want to get your fur wet?” He teased. Buck shot him a narrow-eyed glare.

“I’ll have you know-” Buck started but was cut off by the harsh ringing of the bell. He shot it a glare too, for good measure.

When he climbed into the truck with a groan Chimney was already grinning at him. Without a word he held his hand out, something plastic held in his fist. Buck frowned suspiciously but reached out for it anyway. He unravelled it to reveal a shower cap. The truck burst into a roar of laughter. Buck pouted petulantly but still tucked the shower cap into his pocket. The move set off another wave of laughter.

“I hate you all.”

The crew sobered by the time they pulled up to the scene. “What do we got?” Bobby asked Athena as they approached the broken barriers at the side of the road.

“Couple of newlyweds; driver's Paul Williams. No ID on the passenger. Another car drifted into their lane, the driver tried to avoid getting hit, car went off the road.” She sucked in a breath, glancing down the hill with a wince. “Bobby, it's bad. Car's wrapped tight around that tree.” Bobby for his part merely nodded and gestured them over. Buck and Eddie had heard Athena but Chim and Hen listened to Bobby explain the situation.

Buck walked to the edge, unable to stop himself from whistling lowly at the sight below. “Damn, the tree's folded right into the car.” Eddie let out a heavy breath at his side. They shared a look before turning back to the truck to load up on all the heavy equipment they could carry; this call was going to be a doozy.

“Paul, can you hear me? Eddie, see if you can reach her.” Bobby ordered as they scattered around the car, everyone trying to find a good angle.

“I’ve got a pulse. She's alive.” Buck heard Eddie call as he tried to get to Paul from the backseat.

“I don't have a clear path to the groom. Cap, can you get in from your side?”

“Negative.” He spoke into his radio, briefing Hen and Chim, who were now making their way carefully down the hill with the med bags and a backboard. “Two passengers in bad shape. One confirmed alive; no access to the other.”

Buck wriggled into a gap, using his strength to pull it wide enough so that he could squeeze in. As the metal shifted he could have sworn he heard Paul grunt. “Paul! Can you hear me? It's LAFD.” There! That had definitely been a grunt. “I got him. I hear him. He's alive.”

“All right, make that two. Both alive. Let's keep 'em that way, guys.” The car rocked a little as Bobby and Eddie went to work on the bride’s side. He kept an ear out for Paul as he watched Bobby pull the passenger door clean off and pass it back to Tanika. “Okay, pull her out!” Bobby ordered as Chim smoothly slid in to take Eddie’s place behind her, assessing her quickly.

“It's not good.” Chim concluded grimly. “Okay, I got an open femoral fracture, right leg.”

“And probably a broken pelvis.” Hen completed, just as grim, turning to Bobby with urgency. “Cap, we got to move her! On three. One, two, three.” As soon as she was on her way, Eddie came round to his side and swapped out with Buck.

“It's getting dark. Let's get some lights down here and put a step on it.” Buck scrambled up the hill, gathering the lights as quickly as he could. Once he and Bobby had set them up around the car, they stood back to assess their options.

Buck tuned out Eddie’s quiet conversation with Paul as Bobby muttered next to him. “It’s too risky to cut the tree down.”

“And there’s not enough space to manoeuvre the saw to cut him from the car.” Bobby hummed contemplatively. Chimney jogged over to them, determination stamped across his face.

“He's running out of time. What's the plan?”

Buck grimaced as he replied. “Still working on it. It's like this thing went through a crusher with him still inside. We can't just cut him out.”

“Well, if we can't cut him out of the car…” Bobby started saying slowly before giving a decisive nod. “...let's get rid of the car. All right, guys, let's go. One end to the fire truck, the other end to the tow truck.” Chimney looked as taken aback as Buck felt but jumped into action immediately.

“Alright.”

As they got the vehicles in place and secured together, Buck felt doubt creeping in. He had every faith in Bobby but this kind of crazy idea was normally coming from Buck and being shot down by Bobby. It was throwing Buck off his game a little to be on the other side of the equation.

He sidled up to Bobby. “You really think this is gonna work?” He asked quietly, searching his Captain's face for even a hint of hesitation.

“It's all we’ve got.” Bobby replied just as quietly before his voice was booming across the clearing. “All right, Eddie, Chim. Clear the vehicle. We secure?” Once Eddie gave the affirmative the vehicles were moving on Bobby’s command.

Buck almost couldn’t believe his eyes as it was pulled apart cleanly, finally granting them access to Paul. All right, we got it. Let's go! Bodyboard.” Everyone jumped forward to help, Eddie murmuring softly to Paul when he reached him first.

“Let's get you out of here, buddy.”

As they all emerged back onto the road, Athena quickly wiped the surprise off her face as she approached Bobby whilst most of the team tidied away their equipment. “Can't believe you got him out alive. When I saw that car…”

“I know, me too.”

“Tow trucks. How did you even come up with that?”

“‘What God has put together, let no man put asunder.’”

“The wedding ceremony. Well, that was some divine inspiration.”

Buck could hear Bobby’s grin in his reply. “Hey, even the big guy's a sucker for a love story.”

Buck scoffed a little but nudged Eddie as he climbed up after him. When Buck didn’t get a nudge back, he leaned forward to properly see Eddie’s face. The wolf looked far away, a small furrow between his brows. “Eddie?” When he didn’t respond Buck carefully laid a hand on his knee and squeezed lightly. “Eds?” Warm brown eyes suddenly focused on him. “You good?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah, sorry; guess I’m tired.” Eddie rubbed his eyes, giving Buck a strained smile.

“Bobby’ll probably take us offline for an hour when we get back.” Buck reassured. The wolf nodded before leaning his head back against the seat, closing his eyes. Buck barely resisted the urge to run his hand through Eddie’s hair in an effort to soothe him. He settled for leaving his knee pressed against his instead.

It was as Buck and Bobby were cooking breakfast that Bobby brought up Taylor. “Did you end up calling Taylor?” Buck rubbed his hand against the back of his neck as he tried not to squirm on the spot.

“Uh, yeah. We, um, decided we want different things.” Bobby hummed an encouragement for Buck to keep talking. “I mean, like, I apologised for…the bar thing and then I told her I was interested in dating. She wasn’t. So that’s that.” Buck shrugged, concentrating on his chopping more than was strictly necessary.

“It sure looked like she wanted to date you, Buck.” Chimney chimed in from across the room. Buck flushed when he turned to see his, Hen’s, and Eddie’s eyes on them; he hadn’t realised they could all hear him from over there. Judging on the regretful twist to Bobby’s lips, Buck thought he hadn’t realised either.

Buck rolled his eyes at Chim suggestively wiggling his eyebrows. “She wanted to hook-up with me, Chim, not date me. There’s a difference.” The man scoffed.

“Not one that matters, Buckaroo.” Buck sighed, turning back to his chopping.

“Taylor wanted to f-” He cut himself off as Bobby cleared his throat. “She wanted to have sex with me in the back of her news van. I wanted to take her out to dinner and get to know her. That's a pretty big difference, Chim.” Buck heard a choked sound from the living area but as he was glancing back to check, the bell rang out. Bobby grumbled as they carefully covered the food but Buck was happy for the escape. Thankfully, Taylor wasn’t brought up again for the rest of the shift.

Buck found himself slouched on Chimney’s couch a couple nights later, cursing the fact that he had ever introduced Maddie to the team. “Wait... a news van? Don't other people use that? What if you get caught? She could get fired.” Buck opened his mouth to respond but Chim beat him to it with a shit-eating grin.

“Your brother sure did.” When Maddie faced the man with an expectant look his grin somehow widened. Buck groaned as Chim excitedly elaborated for his sister. “Oh, he didn't tell you about the time he stole a fire truck from work so he could have sex in it?” Maddie made a face.

“Ew.” Buck glared at the man that he called his friend for some unknown reason.

“Thank you for that.”

“Anytime, Buckaroo.” Chim winked at him. Buck wanted to poke his tongue out at him but refrained because he was a mature adult now. Or at least occasionally acted like one.

“Damn it. They didn't put it in here again.” Maddie complained as she dug through one of the many takeout bags Chim had turned up with.

“Oh, uh… Ta-da.” Chim presented her with a small pot but Buck couldn’t make out what it was.

“You made me hot mustard.”

“I just can't anymore, with the whole sad face every time they forget it, so…”

“I know.”

As the two of them seemed to forget he was there, Buck took the opportunity to survey the food, scrunching up his nose and tilting his head as he asked, “Anyway, uh, why so much food?”

“Uh, it's Buffriday.” Maddie answered as if it were obvious. Chim took pity on him for his blank look.

“Buffet Fridays. It's the one day we indulge your sister's complete inability to choose what she's in the mood for.”

“Yeah, so we order everything.”

“And, because of your sister's hatred for leftovers, I don't have to buy groceries. It's a win-win situation.” Buck struggled between wanting to tease the two for the heart-eyes they were aiming at each other and screwing his face up in disgust as he had to watch his friend flirt with his sister.

“Uh, let's go back to you stealing a hook and ladder for a hook up.” Buck screwed up his face at his sister.

“It's your fault, you know; you always told me to go after what I wanted. ‘Be confident; girls aren't scary.’”

“Um, you were 11. Don't you have impulse control?”

“And not sure that's the problem,” Chim quipped. Buck rolled his eyes.

“All I'm saying is she's beautiful, she's cool. And all she wanted was a quick hook-up in her van.”

“Yeah, I'm feeling this is a little more karmic. Chickens coming home to roost. You've been Bucked. Buck 2.0 has found himself a Buckette 1.0. Dude, you're dating yourself.” Chim grinned at him.

“The whole point is that we're not dating.” He narrowed his eyes when Chim opened his mouth to retort, smirking as he pointed out, “But you two are. You guys are… dating each other.” They both laughed a little too loud and for a little too long for Buck to buy it. He sat back with a self-satisfied smile as he watched them stutter out excuses.

“That's crazy. We're…”

“Friends who hang out.”

“Yeah. Just hanging out.” Buck rolled his eyes when they looked triumphant that they’d gotten the words out.

“No. You're always talking or texting each other; you sing karaoke together; you do ‘Buffridays’; you finish each other's sentences. Guys, come on, you're a couple! When did-” The ringing of his phone interrupted him. He sent the two of them a mock glare to show that he wasn’t done as he walked away to answer it.

He frowned at the unknown number. “Yeah, this is Buck.”

“Hey, Buck, it’s Ali Martin. The woman from the earthquake?” Buck blinked in surprise.

“Oh, uh… Hey. How-how you doing?”

“I’m good, thank you. You?”

“Uh, good. Good.” There was a slight pause before she continued.

“So, I was calling to see if you would like to get a coffee with me?”

“Um, coffee.” Buck felt like he was getting whiplash between Taylor’s rejection and Ali’s out of the blue invitation.

She’d asked for his number after the earthquake but she hadn’t used it and he’d assumed she wouldn’t. God, he hadn’t thought of her since they’d left the scene that night if he was being honest. “Uh, yeah, I'm-I'm not sure that's such a good idea. I-I have a shift tomorrow, and…”

“That’s okay, how about you let me know when you’re free?”

“Yeah. I-I will. All right. All right. Good-bye.” He hung up after her cheery sign off.

He turned to find both Maddie and Chimney watching him in anticipation. He shook his head and muttered under his breath. “Being Buck 2.0 sucks.”

The three of them steered clear of any relationship talk for the rest of the evening but Buck observed the not-couple couple being sickeningly oblivious to the other’s secret glances the entire time.

Buck was still debating with himself on his next shift. A part of him knew starting something with Ali might not mean that he suddenly stopped feeling too much for Eddie. But he also knew he couldn’t pine endlessly for his best friend, who was categorically unavailable. Never mind whether Buck had imagined, or not, Eddie somewhat reciprocating before his wife had come back into the picture. No, before Eddie had asked his wife to come back. So it was more than likely that Buck had imagined it.

As Eddie slumped down next to him, Buck got another strong noseful of his wife’s scent. Yeah, Buck was thinking he had imagined the whole thing after all.

Buck resisted the urge to rub the man’s back beside him. Thomas was watching vacantly as Bobby and Eddie carefully lowered his husband down onto a backboard, covering him fully with a white sheet. His voice was rough with unshed tears as he started talking next to Buck. “When we got married… we thought, what the hell, we have so little life left, we might as well live. That was Mitchell, always... daring the clock. And me, I always followed along. All those foolish things we did. We only ever wanted to… to go together. That's love.”

Buck sucked in a breath. “I'm sorry. I really am. I guess I can only hope to find something that good.”

“You don't find it, son. You make it.” And didn’t that send Buck’s thoughts whirling.

“Son, you mind if I have just a few moments alone with him?” Buck startled out of his spiral, rising quickly to his feet and holding Thomas under his elbow to help him.

“Of course. It's no problem. Here.”

Thomas laid himself across Mitchell’s chest, caressing his face, but the man still didn’t cry. Buck decided to pick up the dropped pictures rather than hover uncomfortably over the couple. It would be pretty embarrassing if Buck started crying when the man who’d just lost the love of his life wasn’t.

Buck was reaching for more pictures when he suddenly became aware of the silence behind him. A silence that shouldn’t be there. He pushed to his feet, rushing over to Thomas. “Thomas?” There was no response and when Buck reached out he could feel that his body was completely limp. He panicked as he rolled him off of his husband onto the floor. “Uh, E-Eddie! Cap! Come here.” The two ran over to him immediately, Eddie putting his fingers against the pulse that should have been in Thomas’ neck. “I-I don't know what happened. He was just talking, he was responsive, and then…”

“All right, start compressions. Stay with us, Thomas.” Bobby was calm even as Buck frantically began CPR.

“Come on, Thomas. Come on. Stay with me. Come on. Come on, Thomas. Come on.” Buck didn’t care that he was begging, he refused to accept that he’d died on his watch. He had been fine, he had!

Eventually Bobby laid a gentle hand on Buck’s arm, stilling him. “Buck. He's gone, kid.” Buck sat back in shock. He couldn’t comprehend that they’d had such a connection, such love between them, that they literally were unable to live without each other. Buck had never experienced such a love. Not with Abby. Not even with Maddie. And definitely not with his parents. He fought the tears that were springing to his eyes.

“That's love.” His voice was garbled and he saw Eddie and Bobby shoot him sympathetic looks. Purposefully ignoring them, he staggered upright and back to the truck. Bobby would probably give him shit for abandoning them to the task but Buck couldn’t… he just… couldn’t.

Eddie stuck to him like glue for the rest of the shift, offering to get whatever Buck needed when he so much as looked like he was going to leave the couch. Buck appreciated it more than he could say and leant into the comfort Eddie willingly provided. Buck wasn’t sure if he was more sad for the two men or for himself that he had never had a love like that. Not even close. And, God, did he feel horrible and all kinds of selfish for focusing on that but he couldn’t help it.

All Buck had ever wanted was to be loved. Unconditional, all-encompassing, irrevocable love. He briefly wondered if he was as impossible to love as his parents had always suggested but then, he thought, Maddie loved him. Maybe not enough to always stay but enough to want him back in her life after years apart. Enough to run to him when she was in trouble. And Abby might have loved him a little but again it hadn’t been enough. So. So.

Thomas had said you didn’t find it, you built it. So, maybe Buck didn’t have to feel something straight away for it to grow into something that was strong and possibly ever-lasting. He’d felt so strongly for Abby so quickly only for it to be a short-lived, summer love. He thought maybe he was beginning to feel… strongly for Eddie but that was always going to be a hopeless- Get a grip, you haven’t even known the guy for a year. Point is that it was hopeless, whatever it was that he felt. And he had barely felt a spark with Ali but maybe…Maybe. In any case it was worth a shot; if he didn’t give it a go he’d always wonder if he’d missed his chance. So, Buck decided to try again.

Chapter 15

Summary:

Eddie and Shannon are a bit of a mess, but who can blame them?

Chapter Text

“Oh, we suck at this.” Shannon groaned as she rolled off of Eddie. He couldn’t help but smirk as he caught his breath.

“Really? 'Cause I feel pretty good about how that went down.” She half-heartedly swatted at his chest.

“You know what I mean. We say we're gonna talk and work things out, but we just keep ending up like this.” Eddie tried not to tense up.

He knew they needed to talk but he was dreading the conversation and was ashamed to admit he was actively avoiding it. Even unintentionally using sex as a distraction for them both. He just didn’t know what to say to her yet.

“It's a different way of working things out,” he said eventually. Shannon hummed noncommittally.

“You're getting the tree today?” She asked, changing the subject the same as Eddie did whenever they veered too close. He was more than happy to accommodate her.

“The annual tradition of convincing him that, no, a 16-foot tree does not fit in the house.” Shannon turned on her side to look at him with a grin.

“You know, I caved one year. That last Christmas before you got back. He hadn't been feeling well, and… we missed you. When Christopher looked up at that giant tree, I couldn't say no.” Eddie relentlessly pushed back the guilt that rose in him.

“Where'd you put it?”

“The backyard.” Eddie huffed a small laugh as he tried to picture it.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Of course. But we didn't have enough ornaments to cover it, so we just loaded it up with lights and ribbon. And I got the sleeping bags out, and we laid under it, just staring up at the branches for hours.”

“Mm, he must have loved that.” Shannon suddenly deflated, looking at him with big, sad eyes.

“Yeah.” Eddie resolutely steered them away again.

“You know, he still won't tell he what he wants for Christmas. I've tried everything.”

“Did you take him to see Santa?” He grimaced.

“You mean the creepy guy at the mall with a fake beard? No.” Her face suddenly broke out into a wide teasing smile as she pushed herself up onto an elbow.

“Oh my God. You still haven't let that go. Look, just because you got scared and threw up all over Santa, that doesn't mean…” Eddie felt his face flaming but he laughed with her all the same.

“First off, yeah, that was very wrong of my Abuela to tell you that story. And-and second, no. I wasn't scared. I… The old guy smelled bad, and I had a stomach flu.”

“Really? Two years in a row you had the stomach flu? Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

And for a moment it felt like it had all those years ago. Back when they teased and joked and enjoyed being with each other. But it came crashing down in an instant when he heard Christopher’s voice calling out from the living room. “Daddy!”

“Eddito? Are you here?” Eddie had never moved so fast as he stood and began dressing at the sound of his Abuela’s voice joining his son’s.

“Why is he here? I thought you were picking him up,” Shannon hissed as she too rushed to dress. Eddie waved her away, peeking out his door to check if they had stayed in the living room.

“I'll distract them. You-you head out the back.”

“Whoa, w-wait. What?” He saw her freeze out of the corner of his eye and carefully closed the door again as he turned to face her with a frown.

“What?”

“You want me to sneak out? That's our son out there.” She seemed to swallow the anger he could hear building in her voice but the tang of her scent was getting stronger by the minute. “Look, we've been trying to figure out how to tell him. Maybe this is the moment.”

The door jarred then, accompanied by the sound of Christopher’s crutches hitting against the wood. “Daddy. Daddy. Dad?” Eddie pressed against the door in case Chris decided not to wait and open it himself.

“It's not the moment, okay? You-you have to go. You have to go,” he insisted when she still didn’t move. He cracked the door again, peering down at his son. “Hey. Hey, buddy.”

“Hey.” Chirs grinned up at him. He carefully nudged him back and eased out of the room without opening the door too far. He herded him back to Abuela who was waiting on the couch.

“Thought I was supposed to pick you up at Abuela's?” He asked, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice, knowing the smile he aimed at them was strained.

“Oh, he was so excited about decorating that he couldn't wait to get home. Did you have company?” She looked weirdly pleased at the idea. Eddie felt like throwing up.

“What?” She gestured at the wine glasses they’d left out. He was sure his face paled dramatically even as he forced his smile to stay in place. “Oh, you know, I'm not the best housekeeper.” He spotted the shopping bags next to Christopher. “Hey, show me what you got,” he encouraged almost desperately; relieved when Abuela didn’t question him further.

“We ended up with two Christmas trees. He said, ‘This is Daddy, this is me.’” She narrated as she held up two decorative plastic trees, one smaller than the other.

“Yeah? Aw,” was all he managed as he picked up the sound of Shannon tiptoeing her way out of the house.

He knew this was going to be the start of everything, that Shannon would explode her feelings all over him as soon as she was in range again. Eddie could already feel the old tension creeping back into his shoulders. Dread settled heavily in his stomach but he forced his mind away as he concentrated on Chris’ unbridled joy as he pulled out the rest of his purchases.

His next shift Eddie made a beeline for the coffee machine. He’d had a terrible night sleep as the stress had steadily crept up on him. Dios but he hadn’t felt this stressed since before Buck introduced him to Carla.

He’d managed to avoid Shannon for the past couple of days, using weak excuses of work, Christopher, and Abuela. But he knew he’d have to see her sooner rather than later. The prospect of it almost had him wanting to run back to Texas.

As he curled up on the couch with his fresh coffee, a pastry bag, from his favourite bakery down the road, was placed in front of him. His eyes followed the retreating arm up until he met concerned blue ones.

“Hey, Buck,” he greeted, unable to keep the tiredness from his voice.

“Morning, got you a little pick-me-up.” The cat nodded at the bag as he sat next to him with his own mug. Eddie grumbled under his breath even as he eagerly reached for it.

“Who says I need a pick-me-up?” Buck snorted but didn’t dignify his gripe with a response. Eddie peered into the bag and inhaled deeply when he spotted the yellow concha inside. “Buck, you didn’t need to-” Eddie began but Buck was already waving him away.

“You bring me enough coffees, man, consider it thanks if you don’t want it as a pick-me-up.” His voice was teasing but Eddie gave him a grateful smile as he tucked into the sweet treat. It was a guilty pleasure that he only allowed himself when he was already going in the shop, usually for Buck.

The two sat quietly together as they finished their coffees, watching the rest of the crew trickle in before their shift officially started. “Eddie, I just wanted to say.” Eddie twisted to face him as Buck broke the comfortable silence, sounding uncharacteristically serious. “I know you’re not the most… touchy-feely guy.” He gave Eddie a smile so fond he felt his heart thump against his ribs. “But, whatever’s going on with you lately, you can always talk to me about it, okay? I’m here for you, whenever and whatever you need.” Eddie struggled to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat. He honestly didn’t know what he would do if he ever had to be without Evan Buckley.

“Thanks, Buck, I, uh, really appreciate that.” Buck clapped him on the shoulder firmly as he stood.

“Of course, Eds.” And then he was walking away to chat to Cap in the kitchen.

Eddie felt a wave of gratitude. Somehow Buck always knew what Eddie needed, and was giving it to him, before Eddie even knew he needed something. He’d vaguely thought that the effort Buck put into taking care of him would taper off as they got closer, and time wore on, but Eddie continued to be surprised by just how big Buck’s heart was.

Take right now for instance. Buck had known in that weird, practically psychic, way of his that Eddie would want to run a million miles away, just from that small show of concern. So, Buck being Buck, had retreated before Eddie could even begin to feel the first hint of being overwhelmed. Eddie didn’t know how the cat expected him to be able to cope with his constant considerate handling of him.

And Eddie did try his best to reciprocate but Buck was always his own ray of sunshine. The one time Eddie had seen him in a truly bad mood he’d had his own head stuck up his ass about Shannon and hadn’t noticed anything until he found himself thinking that he’d barely seen his partner for their entire shift. He’d felt awful when he’d realised Buck was probably freaking out over having a gun pointed at him and having to relive his heartache over Abby. Hell, Eddie had still been freaking out himself, hours later, that Buck had been in danger and Eddie had been able to do nothing but stand back and watch.

He’d intended to invite him round to his place to, at the very least, distract him, but Buck’d already agreed to go out with Chim. And hadn’t Eddie regretted that when Buck came in the next shift smelling off.

Eddie hadn’t been able to put his finger on it until Chim announced that Buck had hooked-up with Taylor Kelly and it suddenly occurred to Eddie that he was probably picking up faint traces of her scent on him. He’d spent the rest of the shift too busy fighting down his jealousy to offer much support while Buck debated whether he wanted to pursue something with the reporter or not.

His rollercoaster of emotions had surged again when he’d been strangely offended on Buck’s behalf when he’d revealed that Taylor didn’t want to date him. As if she could ever find anyone better than Buck. Eddie thought he would have been thrilled, maybe even needing to resist the urge to skip about the station, at the news. Instead he was fighting the urge to growl protectively and extoll Buck’s virtues at the top of his lungs.

Dios mio the man was going to be the death of him.

Cap stationed Eddie at the table to receive gifts at the Station 118 Annual Toy Drive after he’d apparently committed a major faux pas by putting a toy in the wrong category. Hen had snatched it from his hand and snitched on him faster than Eddie had been able to defend the choice. He hadn’t minded too much when the new position meant he was working up front with Buck and Chim.

In fact, if he’d known the outcome of such an error he’d have done it earlier; from his new spot Eddie was free to observe Buck interacting with the hoards of kids that were running riot around the truck bay. The cat had been put in charge of wrangling the crowds and Eddie was happily admiring him as he did.

He distractedly took the next toy with an absentminded “thank you” as he obsessively watched the flex of Buck’s biceps as he lifted another kid onto the truck. It was only as the figure lingered in front of him, and Buck looked over his shoulder at them, that Eddie swung his gaze back. His stomach dropped when he was greeted with the hard lines of his wife’s face.

“Shannon. What are you doing here?”

“You won't answer my texts or return my calls.” Eddie was already shaking his head at her uncompromising tone.

“This is not the place.”

“Maybe it's the perfect place.” He forced a smile for the person who came up behind her, taking their gift from them.

“Thank you.”

Undeterred, Shannon declared loudly, “We can actually have a conversation that doesn't end up with us in bed.” Eddie’s gaze flew to Buck but he either hadn’t heard or was doing his best to pretend, keeping up a constant cheery chatter for the kids touring the truck. Chim was much less convincing, trying to subtly look at them from the corner of his eye every few seconds.

He turned back to Shannon with gritted teeth. “Follow me,” he ordered, already moving away from the crowds that had also no doubt heard her. As soon as he closed the locker room door behind her he was spinning to face her, clenching his fists as he tried to keep his voice low. “I can't do this here, not now.”

“Then where and when? It's been almost two months, and right now, I feel even further away from him, and from you, than I ever did when we weren't speaking. Are you ever gonna let me see Christopher?” Her voice was pleading but Eddie could hear the undercurrent of her own anger.

“Of course,” He replied automatically. He added “Eventually” when he thought about it for another second. She dropped her eyes from his.

“Does he know that I'm here?” Her voice was so small that Eddie found himself deflating, feeling a little guilty

“I didn't want to confuse him. Not until I was sure.” Shannon’s head shot up, her voice rising again.

“Of me? Because you seemed pretty sure when we started having sex again.”

Eddie wanted to roll his eyes at her. It’s not as if sex had ever been anything truly meaningful for them; it always felt like they’d used it as a way to fill the gap between them. It’d been that way since the beginning of their relationship and it’d stayed that way even when he came back from Afghanistan. Dios, they’d had sex the night before she’d left them.

Somehow, in the confused mess of feelings he’d felt seeing her again, Eddie had forgotten that, though during sex was when they’d been most connected, it was a temporary connection, tenuous at best.

“Is that how you see this? Some transaction? What, you sleep with me so I let you see Christopher?”

“I thought it was a reconciliation! Right up until the moment when... you hid me from our son.” Eddie felt himself getting defensive, his hackles inching up at the accusation.

“I didn't know what else to do!” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he pushed down his frustration. “I didn't know what else to do. And I'm not keeping you from our son like some kind of punishment.”

“Whatever I need to do to prove myself and to fix things, name it. I am there. But you and me and hiding it from him? That is starting to make everything feel...more broken.”

“You keep looking to me like I have the answers. I don't.”

“No. Just the power. I'm the one who screwed up, the one who left. I know I don't get to have a say. So I'm following your lead. But... where are we going? When will you be able to forgive me?”

“I can forgive you. I'm just not sure I can trust you.”

And that was the heart of the issue really. He understood why she left. He even got why she’d stayed away from him. But he didn’t understand how she could have left Christopher so completely. And he couldn’t trust that she wouldn’t do it again.

Christopher had only stopped asking about her when Eddie told him they were moving to L.A. Months later, he hadn’t heard their son utter his mother’s name once. Would Eddie be hurting him more if he let Shannon back into Chris’ life and she left again, or would it be worse for her to never come back to Chris at all? Eddie didn't have an answer and so they were stuck in limbo.

He left her sitting in the glass locker room as he returned to the crowds. Neither Buck nor Chim acknowledged his absence and no one said a word when they silently watched his wife slink back out of the station.

Chapter 16

Summary:

Buck just wants to help everyone all the time

Chapter Text

Chim dragged Buck with him, after shift, when he spotted that Buck could barely stop his eyes from following Eddie. The wolf had avoided everyone for the rest of the toy drive, after his wife had left, and Buck had been itching to do something to help. But he knew, and apparently Chim and Hen also knew, that there was nothing Buck could do. He knew Eddie would hate that his personal business had been announced for everyone to hear, and acknowledging it to him in any way would likely make it worse, but leaving him to suffer went against every instinct Buck had.

So here he was, aimlessly wandering through rows upon rows of trees while Chim dithered over picking one. “Eddie's sleeping with her, but he's lying about it. It's like he's having an affair with his own wife. You don't think that's weird?” Buck asked eventually.

All the times he’d smelt that Eddie had… seen… his wife Buck never thought the reason he wasn’t talking about it was because he was hiding it from everyone, including his son. Not that he’d done a good job of hiding it from Buck but he suspected Eddie hadn’t been aware just how much of her scent lingered.

It had been obvious that she’d been at their apartment but Chris had made no mention of her and Buck hadn’t wanted to be the one to bring it up if they were all still adjusting. Thank God he hadn’t because that might have been the worst conversations of his life, and he'd had many terrible ones, not to mention the end of his and Eddie’s friendship.

“I think it's none of our business. Now can we please focus on the trees?” Chimney grumbled though he seemed completely absorbed in his phone.

“Happily, if you hurry up and pick a tree already.” Buck peered over Chim’s shoulder. “Wait. Are you seriously googling Christmas trees?” Chim shot him a brief glare.

“I want to buy Maddie a gift, and I want it to be perfect.” Buck rolled his eyes but he was secretly glad that Chim cared so much for his sister. Even if he was taking an age picking out a single tree.

“I'm gonna go find someone to help us. You stop overthinking and just pick one.”

As Buck jogged off, searching for a free employee, he caught a wisp of a scent and stopped dead in his tracks. He pivoted on his heel trying to chase it but as quick as it had appeared it was gone again. There was no way it could be here. There was no reason for it to be. Buck tried in vain to find it again, he had to be sure, but was unsuccessful.

He placed a hand over his heart, willing it to calm as it beat wildly in his chest. It must have been someone who just happened to have a part of their scent that was similar to the one Buck hadn’t encountered for years. He had no reason to come to L.A., let alone just so happen to be in the same Christmas Tree shop as Buck, at the same time, in L.A. No. Doug had not followed Maddie here. She was safe. There was no way.

Buck jogged back to Chimney all the same, relief flooding him when he found him unaware and grinning smugly at him, pointing to a tree. “This one.” If Buck’s chuckle was a little weak Chim didn’t notice, too busy flagging someone down to help pack his chosen tree.

Buck didn’t find so much as a hint of the scent again. L.A was still safe; Maddie was still safe.

Buck took on the task of getting the tree through Maddie’s door whilst Chim went ahead. “Ho, ho, ho!” Buck called, forcing cheer into his voice though he could still feel the trickle of cold sweat down his spine.

“Surprise!” Chim added enthusiastically. Maddie froze where she was coming down the stairs, her eyes widening.

“Oh. Wow. A Christmas tree.” Buck ducked back out to get the box of decorations they had bought to go along with the tree. “I just really wasn't gonna do much Christmas this year, 'cause all of my decorations and stuff are back in Pennsylvania.” Buck heard Maddie saying as he carried the box in.

“And that is why we bought everything you need. We have lights, we have ornaments. We even have…” He dug around in the box, giving her a triumphant grin as he presented his find. “An angel for the top of the tree.”

Before Buck could blink Maddie was snatching the angel from his hand and shoving it back in the box. “No! Angels are creepy.”

“You know what, I think we might have overstepped. Maddie should be able to pick out her own decorations. We'll just- we'll just bring this back to the store.” Buck studied Maddie as she stared defiantly at him, whilst Chim was slowly backing away from them, his hands held up in surrender.

“What are you talking about? You can't return a tree. Hey, come on. You always loved Christmas, right? Ornaments, stockings, cookies. You made your own bows.” Buck insisted disbelievingly. He tried to ignore the dark chocolate part of Maddie’s scent blooming to the forefront.

“Yeah. I'm not really feeling the holiday this year, okay?” She tried to give him a nonchalant shrug but he could see the stiff set of her shoulders and tension in her jaw.

“Well, no. No, it's not okay. Come on, what's going on with you?” He dumped the box on the table, holding his hands out to her. She crossed her arms, looking away from him.

“I don't want to talk about it.” Buck frowned.

“Guys, it's fine. You know what? I'm just gonna… take away the evidence before, uh, this turns into a crime scene, okay.” Chim made a hasty retreat but Buck barely spared him a glance.

Christmas had always been Maddie and Buck’s favourite time of year. She’d always gone all out to make it magical for him, whilst their parents deployed every excuse to be away from them. Hell, even on Christmas day, more often than not, it had just been him and Maddie celebrating together. Buck had always thought it was better that way though.

But now his sister was giving the box of decorations wary glances and her usually vanilla scent was full of bitter chocolate. “So you hate Christmas now? Something else I can thank Doug for, huh?”

“No, I don't hate Christmas, but I'm starting to not like you very much, okay? Just let it go.” He sucked in a breath, fighting to not let the words take root.

“Maddie-” he started but she barrelled over him, throwing her hands up in anger but Buck could still see the tremble in them.

“You can't come into my house, Buck, and act this way.” He scoffed at her.

"’Come into my house’? I'm your brother.”

“Yeah, not my keeper, Evan. You don’t get to control how I celebrate Christmas,” She hissed venomously. Buck flinched, the fight draining out of him, leaving only grief in its wake.

“Maddie, I would never-” His broken voice snapped Maddie’s attention back to him and he could see the moment she realised the comparison she’d made. She was hugging him tightly before he could even finish the denial.

“Oh, Buck, no, I know, okay? I didn’t- I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry. I just-” She let out a shaky breath, fidgeting with her hands as she stepped away. “I’m really just not feeling it this year. Please? I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m sorry; I thought it would be something nice, you know? Our first Christmas back together.” Buck dropped his head, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I always missed you most at Christmas, Mads,” He admitted quietly. He heard her sniffle as she pulled his hand away and held it between both of hers.

“Oh, little brother. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Maybe, maybe not. But I'm not leaving again, okay? We’re gonna have so many more Christmases, you’ll see.” He gave her a watery smile, holding up the pinky of his free hand.

“Promise?” Maddie’s laugh was just as watery as she hooked her pinkie around his.

“Pinkie promise.”

Buck felt like hissing at Eddie as he asked “Anything?” as Buck was pressed nose to disgusting sticky floor, searching for a missing body part.

“Not yet. It's not like it can roll.” He groused as he watched Eddie crawling around normally.

“Maybe it bounced.”

“Maybe you should be the one using your superior sense of smell.” Eddie snorted.

“Pretty sure you’re the one with the super sniffer, Buck.”

“Pretty sure wolves have a better sense of smell than-” Buck abruptly stopped talking, blinking in surprise at the words that had nearly fallen out of his mouth. Eddie looked around at him with a smug grin and arched eyebrow.

“What’s this? Is the secretive cat going to come out?” Buck chuffed at him irritably but resumed his original pose without further complaint. He heard Eddie chuckle under his breath.

The wolf had been back to his normal self so far this shift, no one mentioning the Toy Drive Incident. But he was sure everyone could feel the anticipation in the air, as if the entire station were holding its breath. So if Buck had to suffer a little grossness to keep Eddie grinning he would.

“Look, may-maybe she didn't want you to move on. She just probably needed a minute.” At Bobby’s pointed remark, Eddie and Buck shared a knowing look. Eddie and his wife weren't the only cause of tension today.

“Well, how was he supposed to know that?” Athena’s voice had that hard edge that sent lesser men running for the hills. Hell, Buck had been on the receiving end of that exact tone and he’d avoided all contact with her for months. He winced in sympathy for Bobby.

Hen, one of the bravest people Buck knew, stepped between the warring couple with a daring eye roll. “All right. Okay. Listen. People aren't afraid of what they know. They're afraid of what they don't. It's a hard thing to hand someone else the keys to your heart and your happiness. And then you realise that losing them would mean losing a part of yourself.”

Right as both Bobby and Athena looked like they wanted to argue, Buck finally got a noseful of blood and spotted the patient’s nose hidden under a table leg. He grabbed it up excitedly. “Hey! Found it.” A sigh of relief could be heard from everyone involved.

“I hate it when mum and dad fight.” Chim muttered to Buck as they settled back into the truck. Buck wholeheartedly agreed.

When they got back to the station Bobby promptly disappeared into his office. Hen patted Buck on the shoulder when she saw him watching the door from where he was sitting at the kitchen table. “Leave him to it for this one, Buckaroo. Trust me.” Eddie seemed to take that as his queue to distract Buck from his insatiable urge to help.

“So, I was thinking-”

“Careful,” Chim quipped as he passed by them to flop onto the sofa next to Hen. Eddie rolled his eyes but didn’t bother responding to the joke.

I was thinking that I could take Chris to see Santa.” Buck tilted his head questioningly.

“Do you not normally?” For some reason Eddie blushed and rushed on before Buck could explore that particular reaction. He filed it away as something to pursue later.

“Nah, it’s, uh, not something I’ve had the chance to do with him yet, I guess. But you know how he won’t tell us what he wants for Christmas?” Buck hummed in agreement. The boy had been uncharacteristically close-lipped whenever they tried to wheedle an answer out of him. They’d tried tag-teaming him, as well as asking separately, with no results.

“Well, if he tells Santa what he wants I might be able to overhear him or convince him that since Santa will tell me anyway he can just let me know first. What do you think?” Buck laughed, shaking his head fondly.

“I think it’s worth a shot; you’ve tried everything else.” Eddie sighed defeatedly.

“I know; I don’t know who taught my kid how to keep secrets but they did a damn good job.” Buck grinned at him, bumping their knees together.

“Pretty sure you only have yourself to blame for that one, Eddie.” Eddie grumbled under his breath, giving Buck a mock glare, but ultimately shrugging as he admitted the truth of it.

“Okay, yeah, but I don’t like it when he uses it against me!” Buck threw his head back, laughing loudly. “Whatever, man.” He figured Eddie was aiming for a disgruntled tone but Buck could hear the amusement in it.

“So, you want to come with us?” Buck’s smile fell off of his face as he blinked at Eddie. He wanted Buck to tag along with them? On something the two of them were doing for the first time for their first Christmas in L.A? As if it were nothing to include him?

“You want me to- I wouldn’t want to impose.” Eddie rolled his eyes, bumping his knee against Buck's, leaving it pressed there.

“There is no way you could impose, Buck. I already asked Chris, okay? We want you to come.” He fought a blush as he grinned shyly down at the table.

“I, uh, yeah, I’d like that.” Eddie smiled warmly at him, giving his wrist a quick squeeze.

“Good.”

I offered to wait in line with him, but he said this is, uh, private.” Eddie sounded vaguely crushed that his master plan had been stymied so quickly, but he perked up as he waved to Christopher, calling for him to turn for a picture.

“I really admire that kid. I love the way he always wants to do everything on his own.”

“Yeah.” The silence that fell between them felt tense and was full of unspoken things. Surprisingly, it was Eddie who breached it first. “So... not gonna say anything?”

“Nah. About what?” Buck purposefully leant back on his hands, where they were sitting on the edge of the fountain, trying to look as relaxed as possible. He would have this conversation and he would be there for Eddie and he would not allow his stupid feelings interfere in any way. He could do this.

“You know what about,” Eddie muttered. Buck shrugged as much as he was able to, in his current pose.

“I figured it was none of my business.” He wasn’t about to mention that it had been Chim who had said it wasn’t his business.

“It's not.”

“That's what I'm saying.” They were quiet again until Eddie rubbed a hand down his face.

“It just kind of happened, okay? It's not like I planned it.”

“I never said you did.”

“I only even reached out to her because I needed her help getting Christopher into his new school.”

“Totally understandable.”

“We just kind of… ended up in bed.” God, could Buck relate to that at least.

“Ah, these things happen. It's not like you're breaking any commandments. You guys are still married.” Remember that, Buckley. Married and therefore completely inappropriate to have feelings for.

“Yeah. I'm sneaking around behind my kid's back with his mother.” Buck couldn’t help his wince at Eddie’s confirmation of Buck’s assumptions.

“Christopher doesn't know?” Eddie sighed heavily so Buck sat back up to press against him, offering comfort in the only way he could.

“I don't know what he knows. These kids sense things, right?” Eddie’s voice lowered as he leant forward on his elbows, head in his hands. “The other day, I made her sneak out so he wouldn't see her there.” The admission came out muffled.

“You were trying to protect your kid, Eds. I mean, she ran out on him, right?”

“I ran out first. I ran out on both of them. See, when Christopher was first diagnosed I was in Afghanistan. Right at the end of my tour. Instead of going back home… I reenlisted. I told myself it was to pay the bills.” Buck wrapped his hand gently around Eddie’s forearm, tugging his hand away from his face.

“But you were running away, too,” he said softly.

“Yeah. But I got to pretend like it was for a noble cause. Serving my country.” His voice was full of bitterness. “But when Shannon broke, nobody thought she was a hero. She just got called evil.”

“And now she wants back in his life.”

“Yeah.” Buck tried to gather his courage, pushing his selfish feelings down to the pit of his stomach.

“So why don't you let her? Seems like she's already back in yours.” He nudged his shoulder against Eddie’s in a vague tease but the wolf barely moved with the gesture, sitting as stiff as he was.

“That's... that's what's got me confused. Would I be doing it for Christopher or for me? I guess sex complicates everything.” That got a startled laugh out of Buck; he offered him a commiserating smile.

“You said it, brother.”

The sound of Christopher making his way over to them reached Buck before Eddie, so he nudged him again, calling out to the kid. “Uh, hey.” Eddie’s mask fell back into place so smoothly Buck wouldn’t have believed that their heart to heart had happened if he hadn’t been there for it.

“How'd it go, pal?” Chris smiled from ear to ear.

“It went great!”

“So what'd you ask for?” Buck rolled his eyes at the hope in Eddie’s voice and had to turn his laugh into a cough at Chris’ answer.

“Can't tell. Santa said he'd work on it.” Eddie sent him a narrow-eyed glance. Buck grinned unrepentantly in return.

Eddie lunged to scoop Chris up in a sneak attack, much to the loud amusement of the kid. “Let's go.” Chris squealed when Eddie tickled him as they began making their way back to the car. Buck watched them go fondly, sure that his eyes would be permanently moulded into the shape of hearts before long.

“You two have an adorable son.” The voice behind him made him jump; he’d been too absorbed in watching the Diaz boys to pay attention to the fact that an elf had accompanied Chris over.

“Um…” He briefly debated correcting her but, ultimately, they would likely never see her again, and if Buck got the chance to live that fantasy, even for just a moment, then he was going to take it. He thanked her instead, taking a second to pretend that he did live in a world where it was possible for the three of them to be a family. His heart warming from the brief delusion. And then he pushed that warmth down to join the rest of his feelings in the pit of his stomach.

Buck was just heading home from Eddie’s when Maddie rang him. “Hey, Maddie, everything okay?”

“B-Buck, I n-need you t-t-to- C-c-can you come over? P-please?” Panic immediately bloomed in his chest but he resolutely ignored it, clambering into his Jeep, barely pausing to clip his seatbelt in before taking off. He was sure he broke several laws as he practically flew to Maddie’s. He was staggering through her front door within minutes of her phone call.

“Maddie? Maddie! Where-” A shaking body was wrapped around him before he could finish shouting the question. Buck wrapped his arms protectively around her, tucking her as close as he could, suspiciously eyeing the apartment around them. “Talk to me, Mads. What is it? What happened? Are you okay?” She sobbed into his chest, her frame quaking with the force of the tremors running through her. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” He kept up the litany of reassurances until she had calmed enough to pull back and look at him.

“I sm-smelled him.” Buck stiffened.

“Where?”

“On-On Chimney.” Tears were running down her face as she wailed out the name. Buck cupped her shoulders in his hands, holding on tightly.

“Are you sure?” He remembered the other day when he thought he’d caught Doug’s scent buying a tree. With Chimney.

“No but I- I thought it was- But he doesn’t know I’m here, right? And if he- if he did, he wouldn’t- how would he know Chimney?” He pulled her back into him, rubbing her back.

“Okay, okay. Here’s what we’ll do. We’ll keep a nose out for Chimney, I’ll give him a good sniff everytime I see him.” That got a reluctant giggle out of Maddie. “And, in the meantime, I’ll move in with you here, just until we’re sure, okay?” He expected her to argue but she simply nuzzled closer.

“Okay,” she whispered.

“We can tell everyone that I wanted to finally get out of Abby’s place if you don’t want to tell them anything.”

“Okay.” There was a pause before she leant back, wiping her face with her sleeve. “You should- you should probably get out of there anyway; it’s been months, Buck.” Her tone was faintly teasing even though Buck could still see the fear in her red-rimmed eyes. He purred soothingly at her, rubbing his jaw against the top of her head. “Thanks, Evan.”

“Always, Mads.”

Chapter 17

Summary:

A happy Diaz family Christmas... or is it?

Notes:

For anyone following along with my completely unpredictable updates (sorry about that btw but I have little to no impulse control), just a little note to say I've changed the title of the fic from 'A Change in the Wind' to 'You Can't Blame Me for Trying'.

It was annoying me every time I looked at it because I never really liked it. So I finally did something about it, yay!

Chapter Text

Eddie curled up next to Chris, squeezing into his small bed, as he read him a story. He’d been a ball of energy since they’d come back from seeing Santa and Eddie admitted he’d also felt a little lighter after his talk with Buck. The two of them had convinced Buck to stay for dinner and a movie before the cat had excused himself at Chris’ bedtime.

Part of Eddie wished he’d asked him to stay so that they could read to Chris together and then hang out with a beer after. There’d been a handful of movie nights where that had happened and Chris was always ecstatic to have his ‘best friend Buck’ read to him. Eddie privately was always ecstatic to hang out with his best friend too, just the two of them, outside of work.

He thought maybe that was why Chris’ mood had become subdued as he got ready for bed. But then he was looking up at Eddie with wide innocent eyes. “Dad, is Santa real?”

“Hmm? Is Santa real? Why? Did someone say he wasn't?” Eddie wracked his brain for any hint that something had been bothering his son earlier but he hadn’t noticed anything but joy on his kid’s face. Chris shook his head but didn’t elaborate. “What do you think? Do you think he's real?” He dropped his eyes back down, plucking at the loose threads on his blanket.

“W-When you were gone, I asked Santa for you to come back, and you did.” Eddie’s heart seized in his chest and he subconsciously hugged Chris closer.

“When I was in Afghanistan?” He nodded sadly. Eddie had a feeling he knew where this was coming from now. “You know, buddy, Christmas wishes aren't like birthday wishes; you can say them out loud and they'll still come true.” Chris seemed to digest that for a while. Eddie thanked God for his enhanced hearing as his son mumbled his answer.

“I asked him to find Mum. Will he?” He wanted to sigh, squeezing his eyes closed instead as he held back tears hearing the hopelessness in his son’s voice. He never wanted him to sound so dejected ever again.

“He's sure gonna try,” Eddie promised, already beginning to formulate a plan. He would have to take the risk. As Carla had told him months ago; Chris needed his mum.

A couple days later, Eddie watched as Buck sidled up to Chim in the kitchen. Something about it felt weird to Eddie, who was standing opposite, and he realised with a rush of embarrassment that he just always expected Buck to choose to stand beside him.

Buck leant into Chim, sniffing loudly, earning weird looks from everyone, Eddie included. “Dude, did you just sniff me!?” Chim exclaimed.

“Yup.” Buck grinned shamelessly at him. Chim’s mouth opened and closed for a few seconds as he seemed to be struggling to come up with a response.

Why?”

Eddie watched Buck shrug, acting as though he’d done it just for fun. But Eddie could see something working behind Buck’s eyes. It almost looked like relief with a hint of worry. Taking a page from Buck’s book, Eddie inhaled deeply, trying to at least be subtle about it unlike Buck. He was unsurprised to find that Buck smelled more like a sea breeze today than his usual zesty scent. Judging by the warning look Buck sent him, he hadn’t been as subtle as he’d hoped and Buck knew that Eddie was aware he was putting up a front.

“Okay, will you at least tell me what I smell like?” Curiosity won out as Chim decided not to bother trying to reason Buck's apparent weirdness.

“I’ve told you before, Chim.”

“No, you told me you wouldn’t tell me.”

“Exactly.” Buck said with a genuine grin this time. Eddie found himself relaxing, not even realising he had tensed in the first place.

“Okay, Eddie.” Chim spun to him, pointing at him accusingly. “What do I smell like?” Eddie slid a conspiratorial glance towards Buck before cocking his head as if considering Chim’s question.

“You smell… human.” Chim gaped at him in disbelief.

“Okay, no, you two don’t get to gang up on me!” He wagged his finger at them both. Hen approached with an exaggerated sigh, shaking her head.

“Boys, stop playing with your food.” Chim squeaked at that.

“I’m not food! Hen!”

“You are antagonising a wolf shifter and a big cat shifter, Chim, I’d say you’re at the bottom of the food chain.” Cap’s deadpan voice caused Chim to take a few hasty steps back. Eddie made sure his grin exposed his canines, letting them drop just a little. Chim paled dramatically and Buck burst out laughing before clapping Eddie on the shoulder and joining Cap at the other end of the kitchen. Chim made sure to keep a healthy distance from the two of them for the next hour.

After breakfast, Eddie tried to corner Buck alone, to question him on his earlier mood, but the cat was an expert at wriggling away at the last second. On Eddie’s fifth attempt, when he was sure he’d finally managed it, the bell rang; Buck smirked at him as he bounded over to get his gear. Undeterred, Eddie vowed to get to the bottom of it before the end of their shift.

At the scene, the team was shocked to find a major collision between a bus and a truck yet seemingly only one major injury. Cap nodded for Eddie to follow the cop to a marine who was crouched over someone, as the rest of the team scattered through the gathered crowd of patients.

“Sergeant,” Eddie greeted as he peered around him, at the patient’s wound, and started digging through his bag for some supplies.

“That truck came out of nowhere, man. Piece of glass clipped him in the neck. Feels like it hit a major artery.” Eddie nodded, kneeling and shuffling closer to them.

“Carotid. You got your finger in the hole?”

“That's what we're trained to do. I've seen it before, unfortunately.” Eddie hummed, fighting off the memories trying to surface and demand his attention.

“Me, too. Where were you?”

“Leatherneck.”

“Ah. I was at Bagram.”

“Army?” He made a noise of agreement. “Nobody's perfect.” He snorted, the corner of his mouth twitching up.

“Let's run the fluids wide open.” Eddie said to Hen as she joined them. “You mind keeping your finger there for a moment? You don't have anywhere to be, right?”

“Right. I'm good.”

As soon as they managed to get the man stabilised they rolled the man onto a bodyboard before lifting him up. The team met them with a gurney halfway and they smoothly transferred him over to them, Hen following as he was loaded up into the ambulance. “Is he gonna make it?” The marine asked as Eddie stepped in front of him, running an assessing gaze over him.

“Thanks to you, marine. How you feeling?”

“I'm fine. Anything else I can do?” Eddie was already shaking his head when Cap spoke up.

“We're good. Thank you for your service. Literally.” He clapped Eddie on the shoulder and guided him back to the truck. The hold was reassuring and he knew Cap was reminding him that he was right there with him if Eddie needed a minute.

Just as they were finishing packing up, a woman approached them. “Excuse me?”

“Can we help you, ma’am?” Eddie asked, reaching back into the truck for his bag reflexively.

“Oh, I’m fine. It’s just that the nice navy man said he needed to get across town to surprise his daughter. I’m worried the poor dear won’t make it.” Eddie exchanged a look with Cap who grinned at him, jerking his chin back in the marine’s direction.

“You got it.” Eddie said as he jogged back to the sergeant.

“Alright, we'll take him,” Eddie heard Cap reassure the woman as Eddie called out to him.

“I hear you have a show to get to, marine.” The man grimaced as he hiked his pack onto his shoulder.

“Yeah, but I'm never gonna make it.”

“Oh, yes, you are. Let's go.” Eddie led him quickly back to the truck, hopping in the back with him. “Better hurry up and get dressed; we're gonna be there before you know it.” He gave his bloody fatigues a pointed glance. The marine nodded with a small grateful smile, pulling out his spare uniform.

Eddie turned his attention to Buck who was practically vibrating in his seat. “I'm gonna cry. I-I know I'm gonna cry. Those soldier reunion videos always get me.” Eddie laughed, patting his knee.

He was well aware Buck was going to cry; he liked to send him those videos on shift because he knew Buck had no impulse control and would watch them immediately. He would inevitably cry and then, what do you know, Eddie was right there to comfort him and maybe laugh at him, just a little bit but always affectionately.

They all jumped out after the marine when they finally pulled up to the school, watching as he ran into the building. Buck slapped his arm before he was running after. The crew laughed, taking that as their queue to follow. Buck, of course, teared up before the little girl had even spotted her dad.

“Yep. Every time.” Buck whispered shakily beside him. Eddie bumped his shoulder comfortingly but, as he watched the two reunite, his own eyes became a little glassy. He leant into Buck a bit more, taking his own comfort from the contact.

Once they had finally returned to the station, Eddie couldn’t get the idea out of his head. Christopher would love it and, if he was being honest, it would probably be the easiest way to reintroduce Shannon back into his son’s life. After all Chris had specifically asked Santa to find his mum.

He abruptly got up and made his way to the kitchen, leaning against the counter as he waited for acknowledgement. Cap looked at him expectantly before sighing and turning away when Eddie kept his position.

“Are you looking for handouts?” Buck teased without even looking up from the mixture he was whisking.

“Nope.” Buck finally looked up then. He huffed a laugh as Cap took the bowl from him.

“We are not experimenting with you cooking and talking at the same time again, Buck. You can have my sous chef for five minutes before I want him back, Diaz.”

“Yes, Sir.” Buck shook his head as he wiped his hands on a towel before tugging Eddie over to the dining area. Rather than taking a seat on one of the chairs, Buck hoisted himself backwards onto the table, instantly beginning to swing his legs. Eddie squashed the desire to step between his legs, forcing himself to lean nonchalantly at his side instead.

“What’s up, man?” He thought there was an undercurrent of nerves in Buck’s question but Eddie figured it stemmed from him not knowing what Eddie had to say.

“I had an idea.” Buck’s face lit up with curiosity, any hint of anxiety dissipating completely.

“Do tell.”

“So, I figure I can set up something to surprise Chris with Shannon on Christmas morning.” Buck’s head cocked to the side, a gesture that Eddie always found adorable on the cat. It didn’t help that Eddie had noticed Chris starting to mimic it recently.

“What are you thinking? Have her there when he wakes up as if Santa brought her?”

“Yeah, that could work.” Buck’s face stretched into a smile.

“Hadn’t thought that far ahead?” Eddie playfully shoved him.

“I just had the idea, like, two minutes ago; give me a break.” The resulting chuckle had Eddie’s own lips curving helplessly.

“And you had to tell me immediately?” He shrugged, feeling his cheeks heat slightly.

“You’re better at the creative thoughtful stuff than me; I was hoping you would have some ideas on how to set it up, you know?” Buck hummed as he seemed to think about it.

“Your living room isn’t exactly big enough to hide her under the tree.” Though Buck had meant it as a joke he was hit with inspiration, remembering the conversation he’d had with Shannon before.

“No…but I could get a big enough tree to hide her under. I’d just have to put it outside.” Buck blinked at him and then he was laughing again.

“Okay, so you’re gonna buy a giant-ass tree; put it up outside your house; and then decorate it, on Christmas Eve, some point after you get Christopher to go to bed but before he wakes up at the crack of dawn?”

“Um… yes?” Buck rolled his eyes.

“Jesus, you’re lucky you’re cute, Eds. I’ll get the tree, and shit to put on it, and bring it to yours for nine.” He said as he hopped off of the table, patting Eddie’s shoulder as he went. Eddie’s brain was too stuck on Buck calling him cute to protest before he’d rejoined Cap in the kitchen and was officially banned from talking to him.

Two weeks later, Eddie was glad he hadn’t protested when he came outside to see the tree already in position and Buck perched precariously on a ladder decorating it. “Hey, there’s tape in the box, figured you could use it for the trail if you didn’t have anything else.” Eddie pried his eyes off of Buck’s ass long enough to find it.

“You think a couple arrows will be good enough?”

“Yeah, man, he’s not even gonna remember them once he sees his mum.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie retreated before he exploded his nerves all over his best friend.

It wasn’t that he was having second thoughts. Just…a little bit of doubt, maybe. Chris was going to be overjoyed, he knew, but how long would that joy last? Could they really become a family again? There was so much between all of them now; he and Chris had built themselves a whole new life here and so had Shannon. It’d been hard enough trying to merge their lives together all the way back in Texas when they’d basically grown up together and didn’t have their own rocky history to contend with. How would they fare this time round with numerous hurts, some caused by each other, and a son, more aware of the world than ever, depending on them to keep it together.

He took strength from looking at Buck, who was currently haphazardly throwing a ribbon across a branch just out of his reach. No matter what happened they had the 118; they had Pepa and Abuela; and they had Buck. He had a whole support system he could rely on this time round.

“Dude, don’t just stand there; I would like to sleep at some point tonight.” Eddie chuckled as he was brought out of his musings.

“Alright, I’m moving.”

They got everything set up within a few hours, standing back to admire their handiwork when Eddie had deemed it good enough. “Chris is gonna freak,” Buck said with a wide grin.

“Yeah, I’ll send you a video.” The cat nudged his arm.

“You better; Hen didn’t think we could pull this off so I’m gonna show her the proof tomorrow.” Eddie frowned in confusion.

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah she’s going to Athena’s for dinner.”

“You’re going to Athena’s for Christmas dinner?” Buck shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Eddie narrowed his eyes in concern.

“Maddie wanted to do a quiet thing with Chim, so I figured I'd get out of her hair, you know? Besides, I get to congratulate the happy couple and eat a Christmas dinner cooked by Bobby. God, can you believe he proposed when they were fighting over him moving in? It’s wild, man.”

Eddie wanted to demand an explanation as to why Buck was apparently trying to not bother his own sister on a family holiday but he knew the cat would get defensive. He could also tell that Buck didn’t see anything wrong with it. At least he wasn’t going to be alone. In fact, Eddie kind of wanted to join him; it sounded better than the awkward day Eddie was predicting for himself.

“Yeah, wild,” he replied when Buck looked over at him expectantly.

“Alright, well I better get going.” He held his wrist up and Eddie obligingly bumped his own against it. He followed Buck back to his Jeep almost absently. “Oh, hey, almost forgot, Here.” Eddie frowned as he was passed a bag of… presents?

“Uh-”

“It’s just a couple of things for you and Chris.”

“Buck you didn’t have to get us anything.” He got an eye roll in response. “Well, why don’t you keep hold of them; you can give them to Chris when you next see him,” Eddie tried but Buck was already rounding the car.

“Nah, that’s okay; he should have his presents on Christmas. Let me know how he likes them though, yeah?”

“Yeah, I- Of course.”

“Thanks, Merry Christmas, Eddie.” With that he patted the roof of the Jeep decisively and climbed in, driving off before Eddie could get himself together.

“Merry Christmas, Buck,” he whispers to empty air.

Eddie groaned as the soft chiming of his phone woke him, throwing his hand in the direction of the noise to shut it up. He stumbled to his feet, blearily making his way to the kitchen. After a few sips of hot coffee he could finally make out the numbers on the oven clock; wanting to groan again when he saw it was only half five in the morning.

He’d been awake for at least an hour after Buck left, pointlessly worrying about the Christmas Buck was going to have, when he probably should have been worrying about his own Christmas. A part of him hated that they were two separate things.

A soft knock at the door roused him but he wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about the interruption. When he opened the door, Shannon regarded him nervously. “Morning.” Eddie managed a nod to her and a grunt that hopefully sounded vaguely welcoming. She gave him a small grin. “Still not a morning person?”

“I don’t think this counts as morning.” Her laugh was little more than a puff of air. “You can, uh, wait out here; he’ll probably be awake any minute. And I'll…follow him out?” He asked, unsure now that he was waking up enough to remember the whole point of willingly getting up at this ungodly hour.

“Right, right, sounds good. I’ll, um, see you in a bit then?” He nodded again, closing the door after her as quietly as he could.

He didn’t have to wait long before the distinctive clack of Chris’ crutches could be heard. “Dad! Dad? Wake up! It's Christmas!” Eddie heard him giggle as he no doubt spotted the arrows on the floor. From his position, half-hidden behind the kitchen door, he filmed Chris opening the front door, his jaw dropping at the sight of the enormous tree. He heard him gasp in delight as he wobbled down the steps towards it. At that moment, Shannon jumped out from behind the tree. Chris’ yells could probably be heard across half the neighbourhood but Eddie didn’t feel guilty seeing the absolute joy on his son’s face. “Mummy! Mummy!”

“Oh! Merry Christmas, baby. I missed you so much.”

“I knew Santa could do it again.” Eddie felt himself tearing up at the certainty in the boy’s voice that had replaced the hopelessness from only a few weeks ago.

They managed to get through a half burnt breakfast and the opening of his and Shannon’s presents without any blow ups and only a minimal amount of pointed jabs. Eddie shuffled the small pile of presents from Buck towards Chris, He’d already put aside the ones for him, to open later when he didn’t feel like his every expression was being scrutinised. “These are from Buck, mijo.” Chris lit up, scrambling towards them, dropping the toy, from Shannon, that he had been playing with. Eddie wanted to wince at the frown that immediately appeared on her face.

“Buck?”

“He’s our best friend. Dad, aren’t we going to see Buck today?” He looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

“Not today, Chris.” The boy paused in pulling the wrapping off.

“Oh. Is he with his parents today?”

The question made Eddie frown in thought. Come to think of it, he didn’t recall Buck ever mentioning his parents. The implications sat heavily in Eddie’s gut but he tried to convince himself that it was probably nothing; it’s not like Eddie mentioned his parents all that much either.

“No, he’s going to Athena’s with Bobby and Hen.” Chris perked right back up.

“Is Harry and Denny going to be there?” Eddie shifted uncomfortably already knowing where this was going. The boys had been on a couple of play dates with each other and had become fast friends.

“Probably.”

“Can we go too?” He barely held back his sigh, stubbornly refusing to check for Shannon’s reaction.

“It’s just you, me, and mum for today, buddy.”

“But-”

“Why don’t you finish opening your presents from your friend, baby?” Shannon cut in, the tang of her scent strengthening uncomfortably. Chris looked to him as if hoping Eddie would argue his case but his face fell when Eddie gently shook his head.

“Come on, don’t you want to see what Buck got you? We can call him later so you can thank him, okay?” Eddie offered, hoping it would be a good enough consolation prize for him. After a moment's deliberation he finally went back to opening the presents, though with far less enthusiasm. Thankfully Buck had spoiled him enough that Chris was too busy crowing his delight to be disappointed. Eddie eyed the high-end night sky projector and made a mental note to scold Buck for it later. After Chris had thanked him, obviously.

By the time they’d gotten Chris to sleep, something he’d only done after a long phone call to Buck, Eddie was exhausted. Shannon was hovering in the kitchen when he came back out. “That was a long phone call,” was the first thing out of her mouth. Eddie rubbed his face tiredly; he really didn’t have the energy to have it out with Shannon right now.

“Those two can chat for ages.” He tried for a neutral expression at her obvious scepticism.

“And Buck is your friend from work?”

“Yeah, and Chris’ best friend.”

“He talks about him a lot.”

“He likes him a lot.”

“You don’t.” Eddie frowned darkly.

“I like him plenty too.” She ran a frustrated hand through her hair, sending a wave of bitter citrus through the air.

“No I- I mean you don’t talk about him. I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned him to me before.” He crossed his arms, aware it made him look as defensive as he felt but unable to quell the desire to protect himself from the sharpness of her tone.

“Why would I mention my friends to you? We haven’t exactly had many meaningful conversations, let alone made small talk.”

“But he’s not just your friend is he? He’s apparently my son’s best friend and I know nothing about him. I didn’t even know he existed, Eddie!”

“What? You want me to list every single one of Chris’ friends for you? Want all their personal information and time sheets of just how much they interact with Christopher?”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“You’re making it out like I purposefully kept some super important information from you! We’ve got a life that you haven’t been in for over two years, Shannon; we didn’t just stand around, with nothing changing, waiting for you to come back.”

“Yes, but I thought I was going to be a part of your lives now!”

“What was today then if not being back in our lives?” Eddie asked incredulously as he watched Shannon becoming more and more worked up.

“I didn’t even know who my son’s best friend was!”

“And whose fault is that?!” Eddie roared. The silence that followed was deafening. He tried for a gentler tone seeing her stricken face. “Shannon… This isn’t going to happen overnight; there’s going to be an adjustment period. I’m not the same man you left; you’re not the same woman; and Chris isn't the same kid. We all have to get to know each other again and that includes getting to know the different parts of our lives now. Neither of us can be expected to know everything about each other instantaneously.” She nodded but didn’t seem entirely convinced.

Averting her face, she muttered, “You’re right.” The only sound to be heard was the low hum of the refrigerator as they both retreated back from the edge. “It’s getting late, I should get going.”

“Yeah.”

She turned back to face him as she stepped out onto the porch. “Thanks for today.”

“Of course, thank you for coming.” Her expression twisted then as if she wanted to say something but was holding back.

“Right. Let me know when I can next see him?”

“Sure. I’ll text you.”

“Okay. Night.”

“Night.” Eddie allowed himself to slump against the closed door.

Today had gone pretty much as he’d expected, though he did acknowledge that it could have been worse. They could have had their argument in front of Christopher. Dios but they’d done that enough when he was too little to understand why his parents' voices were raised; he didn’t want to imagine the fall out if they did that now.

He peeked into Chris’ room on his way to bed, the lump in his throat easing as he listened to his soft breaths. In his worst moments of doubt he would just have to remember Chris’ joy at having his mum around again; nothing was more important than his son’s happiness.

Chapter 18

Summary:

Buck being a Good Brother TM

Chapter Text

Buck and Maddie settled into a routine, somehow neither of them minding too much that they were living on top of each other. She didn’t have a spare room and they had both given her couch a dubious look before going out to buy an air mattress for Buck to sleep on. The first few nights though Maddie had dragged Buck to her bed with teary eyes. They’d both slept better having the other within arms reach, especially when Buck was woken by Maddie’s broken whimpering, able to wake her from her nightmares before she reached the screaming stage. That had not been fun the first night Buck had moved in; he’d almost given himself a concussion when he’d shot upright and bolted for her room.

Christmas had come and gone quietly. New Years had been louder, both of them having a shift. Before he knew it, two months had flown by. There hadn’t been any other instances of Doug’s scent appearing, and, yes, Buck was still sniffing Chimney every chance he got, though he was doing it a little less obviously after Bobby had started giving him concerned looks.

Not much else had changed in Buck’s routine; he still went to the Diaz house for movie night most Friday’s but he never stayed over on their couch, as he had previously done on occasion when he’d been exhausted after a shift and couldn’t be bothered to drag himself home to his empty apartment. Now, not only was he loath to leave Maddie on her own overnight but Shannon was making regular Saturday morning appearances.

Buck was able to act unaffected when Eddie spoke about her, or Chris, but he knew his mask wasn’t strong enough to see the happy family in action. Not yet. He just needed a little more time to get over his ridiculous feelings. Buck tried hard not to notice how there were less and less instances of Eddie coming into work smelling of his wife, even when they’d seen each other the day before. And, when Buck not only noticed that but became almost obsessed with smelling Eddie as much as Chim, he tried really hard not to read into it instead. He, of course, was absolutely reading so much into it.

As Buck was readying his gym bag one morning, Maddie bounced over to him with a determined look in her eyes. She meaningfully held up the boxing gloves he’d bought her for Christmas. “Finally want to cash in those self defence lessons, eh?”

Her answering “Yep” was sure and steady. “What’s the point of having a brother who trained to be a Navy Seal otherwise?” He poked her side in retaliation.

“I didn’t complete the training so actually…” She laughed loudly, tugging him out of the door.

“C’mon, let’s do this!”

A few weeks later, with regular ‘lessons’, Buck was trying to hold back his grin at Maddie’s fiery expression. “There you go. Just keep that tight. Nice,” He encouraged. His grin turned teasing as he continued. “You are on fire with that sassy new haircut.” She raised an eyebrow at him but aimed a punch at his gloved hand all the same, with a smirk.

“Sassy?”

“Yeah. Okay, let's, uh, let's work on that two-three-two combo. Okay, I want you to be ready with that devastating hook if you ever see Doug again.” She fell back into her guard position abruptly.

“Whoa. That is not why I'm doing this.”

“Really? You, uh, you don't want to kick your abusive ex's ass someday? 'Cause I would.” His voice lowered subconsciously at the idea. Not that he wanted Maddie within the same state as the bastard but still.

“I'm not doing anything for Doug anymore, okay? This is just the next chapter in Maddie's fresh start.” She stated earnestly. Her smirk rolled back across her face slowly as she began bouncing on her toes, throwing a mock punch towards him. “Come on, haircut, apartment, dispatcher of the month. I don't know if you heard.” Buck rolled his eyes.

“About a thousand times. Come on.”

“Oh, is that what this is about? I'm thriving, and you can't handle it.” Her tone was smug with a side of teasing but Buck had to fight to keep a grin plastered on his face.

“I'm great.”

“Oh, yeah, you're doing great. By the way, what happened to Earthquake Girl?”

Buck held back a sigh. He and Ali had gone on a few dates since her initial phone call. His heart hadn’t been in it and it wasn’t looking likely to involve itself at any point soon either. Stupid thing was still beating wildly every time a certain wolf shifter entered a room. But that wasn’t going to stop Buck from trying. They’d at least agreed to exclusivity, even if neither one of them felt comfortable putting any kind of official label on them yet. It didn’t help that her work meant she travelled a lot. But they were trying, Buck was trying.

“Your trash talk sucks. Ali's around. We're taking it slow. She's, uh, she's in New York on business.” He tried to shrug nonchalantly. Thankfully Maddie seemed oblivious to his dip in mood.

“Why is it that every girl you date wants to either flee the state or the country?” And that… that stung. Abby… yeah okay, but Ali had always travelled for work so he didn’t think anyone could reasonably blame that one on Buck. Thank god Maddie wasn’t aware of his hopeless pining for his best friend or he’d never live it down.

“At least when I date someone, I date them. What's your excuse?” He quipped, keeping his voice light and teasing.

“What are you talking about?”

“Uh-huh. How's Chimney? She narrowed her eyes at him, throwing a series of rapid hard punches that jarred Buck’s arms a little.

“Chimney? We're friends.”

“Except, ooh, you want to date him.”

“I never told you that.”

“Oh, you didn't have to. Your fists are saying it; intensity and speed notched up, like, 20% the second I mentioned his name.” Maddie’s next punch was particularly vicious. He laughed easily, stepping back.

“Okay, easy. Let me ask you this. You're doing so well, you're ‘thriving’, why can't you just date the guy?” Her face twisted as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t force the words out before her expression fell completely.

“I’m not- I don’t think I’m ready just yet. I don’t want him to have to deal with this whole mess, you know.” Buck rested his wrist on her shoulder, ducking his head to catch her eyes.

“Mads,” he said softly. “I’d say that’s for him to decide; and I’m pretty sure you know that he already made that choice months ago.” She tilted her head consideringly, offering him a shaky smile and small shrug.

“Thanks, Evan. Now stop slacking.” He snorted but fell back to his previous position, raising his hands just in time to catch Maddie’s next punch.

What the hell?” The words burst from Buck’s throat without thought. His eyes widened, pointlessly trying to make sense of what they were seeing. There was a shark. In the middle of the freeway. Latched on to some poor guy's arm. A real life shark.

“Tiger shark. We were transporting her for release into the wild. Truck jack-knifed.” The woman’s voice penetrated his shock and Buck jolted forward to join his team as they circled the shark.

“Jaws!” Chim chuckled.

“Right!” Bobby gave him an unimpressed look. “Oh, right. Those jaws. Jaws!” Buck was too busy staring to make the run to the truck himself. He could hear the eye roll in Eddie’s voice as he called over his shoulder, jogging back to the truck.

“I'm on it.”

“How'd his arm get in there?” Chim asked, still not quite back to his ‘professional’ voice.

“Diego was trying to get what water was left in our pump system; she can't breathe without it.”

“How much time does she have left?” Hen’s voice was already sympathetic.

“Minutes.” Buck lifted the halligan in his hands, half joking but also a little serious.

“Uh, do we wait that long or, just, you know…” Bobby yanked his arm back, shooting him an exasperated look this time. Buck shrugged; it’s not like he actually wanted to kill the poor thing but realistically how were they going to save her?

“No, no, don't kill her! She's come so far.” Diego, whose arm was currently being chomped on, sounded very sincere through his pain. Bobby was already nodding his agreement.

“All right, guys, we're gonna do this really carefully. All right, come on. Let's get in there.” Buck wrapped his arms around the man, keeping him still as Eddie used the jaws to pry the shark's mouth open. “All right, let's get him transported, now!” Diego held out his uninjured arm beseechingly as he was wheeled away.

Don't let her die. Please.”

Buck turned to Bobby expectantly. He got a grin in return.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” Chim said as they sat in the truck, steadily making their way to the marina. Buck leaned sideways, pressing fully against Eddie in the process but it was totally incidental. No, really, completely incidental. Forcing his attention away from his hot -in many many ways- body, he looked through the small window to the front of the truck, watching the freeway ahead of them. Or rather he would have been watching that if his view wasn’t partially obscured by the giant shark hanging off of the front of their ladder.

“I can’t believe Bobby is letting us do this.” Buck added with no small amount of awe.

“I can’t believe it was Bobby’s idea.” Hen piped up, twisting in her seat to look through the window too. He felt more than heard Eddie’s quiet chuckle. He tried really hard not to memorise the sensation.

“Believe it, kids. Buck, I want you on the winch when we get there.”

“Copy that.”

When they finally reached the water, the truck as close to it as possible, Buck eagerly took charge of lowering the shark carefully. “Okay, she's down. She's in the water.” He retracted the line quickly before stepping up to the water's edge, eyes fixed on the spot she’d been lowered into.

“Come on, swim,” he urged under his breath.

When there was no immediate sign of her, he let out a low warning rumble, thinking maybe it would get the shark moving quicker if she thought there was a predator about. He resolutely ignored the worried looks sent his way in response.

Thankfully a fin emerged almost instantly and the shark made a very quick exit out of the harbour. The sight was met by cheers from the gathered crowd. Buck grinned as he called out to the marine people. “Hey, too bad Diego is missing it!” One of the men grinned back at him jubilantly, holding his phone up to show that he was recording.

“He's not missing anything!”

As the celebration died down, the team clambered back into the truck happily. “So are we going to ignore the fact that Buckaroo growled at a shark?” Chim asked after five minutes of quiet. Buck frowned at him.

“I didn’t growl at her; I’m a cat. Cats don’t growl, Chim.”

“Yeah, Chim, don’t you know anything?” Eddie said completely deadpan. Chim gaped at the both of them.

“Well what would you call whatever that noise was then? Enlighten me.” Buck shrugged, his lips twitching as he fought the smirk that wanted to surface.

“A warning?” Hen snickered at Chim’s stunned expression.

“...Okay…Are we going to talk about the fact that you warned off a shark then?” Buck titled his head consideringly but before he could come up with an answer Bobby spoke up from the front.

“Whatever it was, it worked, Chim, so I'd say there’s not much to talk about.” Chim shot a betrayed look in his direction but it wasn’t very successful considering Bobby couldn’t see his face from where he was sitting.

“I’m just saying.” Buck shrugged much to Chim’s obvious annoyance. “I don’t get you shifters,” he muttered mutinously. Eddie and Hen both snorted, Buck let his smirk surface. Chim didn’t bother trying to get any actual answers from him for the rest of the shift.

A couple days later, Maddie joined him on the sofa for their Buckley Wine Night. A tradition they’d started when Maddie had first noticed him in a bad mood caused by him missing Saturday mornings with the Diazes. Not that he’d told her that was the reason but they’d both enjoyed it so much that they’d decided to keep it up. Buck found himself being more okay with missing the mornings when he had those evenings.

Unlike most Saturdays, however, Maddie was the one in a bad mood; the dark chocolate of her scent overwhelming the vanilla. He slung an arm around her and pulled her close, offering his wordless support. Buck had learnt that, whilst sometimes Maddie needed him to push, more often than not she needed him to let her come to him. So he remained quiet, hoping she would eventually talk to him about whatever was bothering her. Sure enough, after around ten minutes of being cuddled together, she sighed heavily.

“I’m going to file for divorce,” she said, apropos of nothing. Buck went rigid and he heard Maddie suck in a breath at his sudden stiffness. He forced himself to relax again.

“That’s a big step, Mads,” he murmured quietly.

“Yeah, but… I need to do this.” He laid his head against hers, minutely rubbing his jaw there, seeking his own comfort.

“He’ll know where you are.”

“I can’t hide forever and I refuse to be tied to him any longer.” Her voice was hard but she slumped further into Buck’s side.

“Alright, alright. I’ve got you, Mads; whatever you need.”

“I know.” It was a quiet statement but was filled with so much certainty, so much confidence in Buck; he tried to believe he was deserving of it.

Buck was slouched across the couch when his sister’s scent wafted through the firehouse. He frowned for a second, confused, but when he heard her’s and Chim’s voices from the truck bay he shot up with a grin, all but running to the railing. Bobby, Hen and Eddie, startled by his movement, quickly joined him. Their concern shifted to amusement as they all settled in to watch Maddie and Chim below, their voices just loud enough that Bobby and Hen could probably still hear them.

Friday, 7:00 p.m.” Maddie said decisively.

“Actually, I'm kind of busy. I'm kidding. Yes. I can't wait.” He’s pretty sure they all rolled their eyes at Chim’s attempt at a joke.

“Okay.” Maddie’s laugh rang loudly with relief. “Okay. I'll see you Friday night.” Chim seemed to freeze as she leant in, placing a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Maddie rolled her eyes dramatically when she saw the four of them watching before she strolled out of the station, casual as anything. As if she hadn’t just taken a massive step forwards. Buck had never been more proud.

He let out the most obnoxiously loud wolf-whistle he could manage, causing Chim to turn and scrunch his face as he spotted them. “Well played, well played”, Bobby called down to him. Chim flipped them off as he walked further away, pulling his phone out.

As Buck retreated back to the sofa, Eddie followed, sitting closely so he could bump their shoulders together. “You want to cancel movie night so you can give Chim the shovel talk? You can stand there with your arms crossed like a disapproving dad; I’ll teach you how to do it right.”

“Pfft, as if you’ve ever had to do the disapproving dad routine for Christopher.” Eddie grinned brightly and Buck struggled not to get drawn in by the brilliance of it. “‘Course I’m not cancelling, man. As if your son would ever forgive me for missing our sacred movie night anyway.” Eddie snorted but leant in closer, his face softening.

“Chris would understand if you couldn’t make it one time, Buck.” Buck placed what he hoped was a reassuring hand on Eddie’s knee.

“Barring an emergency; he won’t have to, Eds.”

“Good.” The smile Eddie aimed at him then was all kinds of gooey softness causing Buck’s heart to ache so sweetly. God, Eddie really wasn’t making it easy to get over him.

Chapter 19

Summary:

Maddie is kidnapped; Buck will do anything to save her.

Notes:

Trigger Warning: There are some non-graphic descriptions of injuries and references to blood.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The smell of blood was overwhelming. Hot and rich, iron coating his tongue, sticking in the back of his throat. Buck pressed down harder on his bunched up jacket, his other trembling hand putting his phone on speaker, smudging red across the screen. He swallowed hard against the bile trying to rise up.

“I have an adult male with multiple stab wounds to his torso. Need medical and police response.”

“Okay, sir, can I get your name?”

“Evan Buckley. I'm a firefighter with the 118.”

“Buck?” He closed his eyes, swallowing again. Keep it together.

“Yeah, victim is Howard Han. He's got profuse bleeding to his abdomen. Breathing is laboured. Might have hit a lung.” He pressed down harder. “Come on, Chim. Hang in there.”

“Buck, RA unit's two minutes out. Do you know how this happened? How long has he been down?” He opened his eyes again, staring at Chim’s face as if he could hold him here by sheer force of will alone.

“I don't know. I just got home and found him. Given the amount of blood I would say minutes, not hours.”

“How's his pulse?” He unstuck one hand, trying not to see the bright red seeping into his skin. Keep it together.

“Weak, but it's there.”

“Jason…” The soft groan had Buck leaning closer in an effort to hear.

“H-Hold on, he's…” Breathe. Take a breath, Buckley. “He's talking. Chim, it's me, it's Buck. I'm here, okay? I just need you to stay with me, Chimney.” Buck begged with shaking voice; with hands holding back blood; with itchy eyes. Keep it together.

“Jason took her…”

“Chimney, who is Jason?”

“Maddie…” His heart lurched painfully. Swallow.

“Where is Maddie? Chimney, where is Maddie? Chimney, where is Maddie? Wh-Where is Maddie?” He was pulled away before Chim could answer.

“We got it, sir.” The voice didn’t startle him though he hadn’t realised the paramedics had finally arrived. He stared as they took up the space he’d just been occupying. Breathe. Breathe. Keep it together.

His head snapped up of its own accord, eyes searching out their front door. It was wide open and empty. “Maddie! Maddie! Maddie. Maddie, where are you? Maddie! Maddie, are in you here? Maddie!” He was breathing too much now. He forced himself to lift his phone to his ear, the red spreading. He didn’t remember picking it up from the ground. “She's, she's not here. She's gone.” His eyes fell on the coffee table. “Oh no.”

“Buck? What is it, Buck? Did you find something?” He swallowed bile again. Breathe.

“All of her stuff is still here.”

He wasn’t sure when he made his way back outside but Chim was already gone. Buck clenched his fists. They took him to the hospital; he’s alive; he’ll be okay. God please let him- Keep it together.

“Buck?” The voice was cautious. He blinked as Athena appeared in front of him. He didn't know when she got here. There was a man with her, frowning at him. Buck frowned back. Breathe.

“It was Doug. Doug Kendall,” he forced out from behind clenched teeth. Swallow. “He told Maddie he would kill her if she left him. He did this.” Keep it together.

“You said he lives in Pennsylvania. He knows she was here?” The man questioned.

“No, she-she…” Breathe.

“She was filing for divorce.” Athena graciously finished the thought for him. “That could have put her back on his radar.”

“Well, we'll take a look at him, but before your friend lost consciousness, he said he was attacked by a Jason Bailey. Either of you know who that is?”

“I don't think so.” Bobby. He didn’t know when Bobby had gotten here.

“Wait… Wait. Hold on, Detective. I know he had a new friend, some guy he was… he was playing pool with. I never met him, but now I know why, you know, 'cause it was Doug. He got close to Chimney so that he could get close to Maddie.” Buck thought back to the times they’d thought they’d smelled Doug on him. It was around the time Chim started mentioning this friend. Buck should have put the pieces together. Why hadn’t he put the pieces together? Breathe. Swallow

Doug knew what they were, knew how scent worked. He’d known how to be careful, how to not get caught. He’d known. And Buck hadn’t. He swallowed.

The man had a very polite look of disbelief on his face. “You don't believe me? I can smell him!” The man grimaced. Athena winced. Buck changed tact. “I mean, I mean, Chimney's phone is right there. You know, ch-check for yourself.” The man shrugged. Unconcerned. Breathe. Keep it together.

“Phone's locked; can't open it without the victim's consent.”

“They'll subpoena his phone records, but it'll take time.” Athena elaborated, kind but firm. Unhelpful.

“Well, Maddie doesn't have time, okay? Come on, Doug did this! He-he almost killed Chimney, and… and he could… he could kill her next.” Breathe.

“But he didn't.” Bobby was staring at him, worry creasing his brows.

“Bobby…” Swallow.

“Buck, just listen to me. Buck, may-maybe you're right. It's Doug. And he found out where Maddie was, and he came here, and he hurt Chimney, but Maddie's not here, and if all he wanted to do was kill her…” Keep it together.

“Then I would have found her, too.”

“And you didn't. She was alive when he took her, and that's what we're gonna hold onto right now.”

She was alive. Maddie was alive. And she needed him. She wasn’t here but Buck would find her. Bring her back. If the police wouldn’t believe him, wouldn’t help her, then he would do it himself. His eyes fell on the phone. Buck would find Maddie and he would bring her back. He would not fail her again. He wasn’t going to step back and let Doug hurt her again. Not this time. Never again. Keep it together.

“Um… Can I... can I... can I...can I change my shirt? It-it's covered in…” he gestured as pathetically as he could. He didn’t look at the blood clinging to him.

“Fine, just don't touch anything.” Buck nodded stiffly.

He didn’t remember scrubbing himself clean. He didn’t remember swapping out his soaked clothes for dry ones. But he found himself outside again, clean. He scooped the phone up before he could think twice. He stuffed it into his pocket with his hands, hunching his shoulders.

“Hey, Cap, I need to go to the hospital. I-I-I want to see Chimney.” Bobby looked at him with worry and sympathy. A small smile forced onto his face. He didn’t remember getting to the hospital. He knew no one else had arrived yet. Bobby left him alone in the waiting room, to call them. Buck found Chim’s room.

“Sorry about this, buddy.” He awkwardly tried to place Chim’s thumb on the touchpad.

“You're not supposed to be in here.” Buck dredged up his best acting skills. Pretending to throw a dramatic fit of desperation as he hid the phone from view, all the while listening for the telltale unlocking sound.

“God, please don't let him die.” After another minute of struggling he heard the quiet click and allowed the nurse to manhandle him away. He knew Chim would be okay. He also knew Chim would be urging him on. Maddie was their priority; the police and their rules be damned. Maddie needed help now.

Athena’s voice stopped him in his tracks.” You know, Detective Marks didn't believe me. He said no one could be that stupid. I said, "You don't know Buck."” His shoulders slumped. Defeated, he handed the unlocked phone over without argument. She glared at him. He didn’t care. “Sit.” She pointed at a chair down the hall. He sat. “Stay.” He stayed. Keep it together.

“So… that was a bold move.” Buck didn’t remember when Eddie got there but suddenly he was sitting down next to him. He didn’t dare look at him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. "What were you thinking, Buck?" I already got an earful from Athena.” Swallow.

“No, I know what you were thinking. I got sisters, too. Still not sure how you thought you were getting away with it, though.” He chanced a sideways glance. He was expecting disappointment but Eddie’s gaze was steady. Worried. Sympathetic. But not mad. Buck shrugged, looking forward again.

“I wasn't worried about that.” Eddie hummed noncommittally. Buck’s mind wandered. He pictured Maddie. He pictured Doug. He pictured Doug with Maddie. No. Breathe.

He turned to face Eddie feeling a manic energy rising in him. Desperation. “It's, like, police have all these rules, you know? Rules that are gonna get Maddie killed. But-but I'm a civilian. Those rules, they don't apply to me, right?” Eddie side-eyed him.

“Then why are you in hospital jail?” He deflated, turning back around. Keep it together.

“I told Maddie…” Swallow. Breathe. “I said that she didn't need to keep on running, that she could start over here, that she would be safe. That I would keep her safe.”

“This isn't your fault. What if she had kept running? You think he wouldn't have found her? Only then, she'd be alone.”

“She's alone now. With him.” Breathe. Keep it together.

“I spoke with Detective Marks. He's not happy with you.” Athena was standing in front of him again.

“I-I-I just…” The words wouldn’t come out past the rising bile. He swallowed again. Keep it together.

“Yeah, you broke chain of custody. You unlocked Chimney's phone without his permission; Marks can't use any of it.” The energy rose and morphed into anger. He could feel it pricking at his skin. His claws and teeth tingled, begging for a release Buck couldn’t allow himself. Not yet.

“I'm sorry. Okay? I was trying to help.”

“Okay. Let's go. The car's out front.” The energy washed out of him again, leaving room for grief to try and creep in. Breathe.

“You're arresting me.”

“Not yet. But the night's still young.” Buck blinked.

“Wh-where are we going?”

“To find your sister. If Doug is Jason, this phone is how we find him. But we’re gonna need a little help.” Hope tried to muscle its way in. He squashed it as best he could.

“I thought you said we couldn't use the phone.”

“I said Marks can't use it. This isn't my case. I'm just a concerned friend of the victim.” He let the hope in. He quickly stood.

“Thank you.” She nodded once before gesturing for him to go ahead of her. Bobby’s voice stopped them

“Buck. Here are the ground rules: You don't leave her sight, you don't lie, you don't withhold any information from her, you don't break the law, and you don't do anything that's gonna force her into early retirement. You got it?” Buck’s lips flickered with a small smile. There and gone again in the space of a breath.

“You got it, Cap.”

Buck kept silent in the passenger seat of Athena’s car. He couldn’t afford to say something that would change her mind. Maddie couldn’t afford that. Keep it together.

He followed on her heels when they got to the dispatch call centre. He didn’t ask why they were there. I'm not sure how we can help, Sergeant, but whatever you need,” a woman told her, her eyes flitting between them.

“Athena, please. I'm off duty.”

“This is Josh. Athena. And Buck, Maddie's brother.” Buck shook the man’s hand automatically. He couldn’t force a smile.

“Maddie's told me a lot about you.”

“Same here. Any word on her?” Athena jumped in when Buck’s only response was to swallow harshly.

“Well, police don't have much to go on yet. Neither one of us are good at sitting around and waiting, so I thought I'd come by and ask you some questions. Unofficially.” Josh looked curious.

“Sure. What do you want to know?”

“Well, when people dial 911, you can see where they're calling from, right?” Buck blinked. He looked at Athena in disbelief. Yes.

“If they're calling from a landline, absolutely. Cell phones are trickier; we don't get an automatic address.”

“Our system has to digitally request the phone's location from the cellular network,” The woman added.

“Okay, well, this is Chimney's phone. We think he was in contact with his attacker.”

“Maddie's husband.” A wave of energy had Buck speaking up in Chim’s defence.

“Chimney didn't know it was him; He-he thought his name was Jason.” Athena laid her hand against Buck’s arm. He fell silent again. Breathe.

“Now, I'm wondering, hypothetically, if this number called 911 and hung up, is your system able to request location data after the call was disconnected?”

“Hypothetically, sure. But we'd-” Josh interrupted, his eyes alight.

“Of course we could.” He snatched the phone from Athena’s hand. “You know, it's funny, this number seems familiar, and, in fact, I think I might have taken a call from it earlier. An emergency call.”

“Josh, are you sure?”

“I'm sure.” The woman nodded.

“Okay. Let's make a manual request.” Breathe.

Buck didn’t remember getting back in the car. “You're awfully quiet over there, Buckaroo.” Athena’s voice broke the silence. Buck swallowed. Keep it together.

“When we get there… what-what do you think we're going to find? I mean, he-he threatened to kill her, you know, a-almost did kill Chimney. What if... what if he…” Breathe.

“No.” Athena’s voice was firm. Solid. Believing. “My gut is telling me not to count your sister out just yet. Maddie didn't just rebuild her life. She rebuilt herself. Doug may have her, but I don't think he has any idea who he's dealing with now.” Buck nodded. Breathe.

The phone is a bust. “He knew we could use the phone to track him; probably dropped it in the truck just to throw us off.”

“So they could be anywhere by now.” Swallow. Breathe.

“Yeah. And Doug's way ahead of us.” Breathe. Keep it together.

The man calls Athena. They go to a gas station. The cashier is dead. Doug’s scent is there. Maddie’s too. He can smell her blood. Drugged. Their scents stop at the same place. They left together. Breathe. Buck fights down the tingle under his skin. He cannot change forms. Not here. Not now. He needs to be human to leave with Athena. Maddie needs him human. Breathe. Keep it together. The man gets a phone call. They get back in their cars. Breathe.

They go to Big Bear. He forces hope down again. A woman tells them how wide the search would be. He hears Athena’s frustrated sigh. Swallow. Breathe. Keep it together. They separate and start to search. Athena gets a call and then they go to a cabin.

The man speaks. “Local sheriff got a report of gunshots. They followed up. Found this.” He points at the cabin. Buck doesn’t know what the ‘this’ is that they found.

“Yeah, rental manager says all the lake cabins are vacant. Well, somebody's been here, and they left in a hurry. Question now is, which way did they go?” Athena’s voice is frustrated still. Breathe.

Maddie. He can smell her. Doug too. He can smell his blood. Hope unfurls in his chest. He doesn’t squash it. “They're sending more officers. Search and rescue's on its way. Choppers, dogs.” The man is saying more but Buck stops listening; they don’t need dogs.

Buck is already running out the door. He roughly pulls his top off, trousers following quickly after. He found himself actually thanking his parents. By the time Athena is calling after him Buck has changed forms and is chasing the scent trail. I’m coming, Maddie; hold on. Please just hold on. I’m coming. He roars out his promise. The wind carries it for miles.

“Buck?” The disbelieving call comes as Buck makes it out of the woods into a clearing. He roars an answer. “Buck!” He sprints to Maddie’s distant limping form. She collapses against him, hands curling tightly in his mane as she sobs. He purrs loudly, tongue snaking out to lap softly at her bleeding wounds. He can taste the drug in it. She shuffles closer, shivering violently. “I didn't give up. I... I didn't give up. I…” She cries into his fur. Her tears soak through to his skin and the snow is cold on his paws but Buck doesn’t care. He nuzzles closer.

Eventually Athena catches up to them, speaking into her radio to notify everyone of their location. “Buck,” She calls tentatively. He wants to rumble out a warning but Maddie curls under his chin, her shaking hands petting him, calming him. “I’ve got a helicopter coming but you’re going to need to change back. I brought your clothes.” Buck doesn’t want to. This form is stronger; can protect Maddie better. But he can’t protect her if he’s not with her. He changes back. Maddie stays pressed against him until he can wrap his arms around her, rubbing his jaw against the top of her head. She lets out another heartbreaking sob.

“You did so good. You did so good, Mads. It’s gonna be okay; I’ve got you. You’re okay.” Athena throws his clothes to him. He’s grateful she keeps her distance.

It’s as they’re loading Maddie into the back of an ambulance that she puts her hand on his shoulder. He tenses but stays still. He doesn’t look at her. “Lion, huh?” He doesn’t say anything. She huffs. “Relax, Buckaroo, I’m not judging. And you should know already that your secret is safe with me.” He doesn’t relax.

“What about Bobby?”

“You think I tell him everything?” He does look at her then. She smiles softly at him. He can’t see even a trace of fear in her eyes. He wouldn’t blame her if there was; lion shifters aren’t known for their warm and fuzzy personalities. With one of his pride injured, under his watch no less, he’s not exactly feeling warm and fuzzy either. He should be sizing Athena up as a threat and she knew that. What she probably didn’t know was that he’d considered her as part of his pride for a while now too.

“Thanks, Athena. For everything.”

“No thanks needed. Now get going; I’ll catch up with you both later.” He gives her a nod as she steps away and then he climbs into the ambulance after Maddie. The paramedics are busy working on her, giving her the antidote to the drug Doug forced on her.

Almost there. You're doing great,” he encourages as he sees Maddie’s eyes fluttering closed.

“I’m tired,” she mumbles. He scrambles for something to say to keep her awake. Something to fight off his tears.

“Uh. Hey, hey, Maddie, I-I know… I know you're tired, but I-I need you to keep your eyes open for me. Yeah, you-you know the drill. Yeah, just... just like that. Hey, you- you think you had a hard day? Athena and I have been running all over the state looking for you. I wasn't dressed for snow.” She gives him a tired giggle. It's the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

“Me, either.” He pulls the hand he’s holding up to his face, rubbing it against his stubbled jaw. Maddie sniffs back her own tears.

“Athena said she'd… she'd call Bobby, let everyone know that you're okay. They are gonna be… so relieved. Chimney. Chimney most of all.” More tears well in her eyes; Buck doesn’t know how to comfort her, what he’s said wrong.

“Chimney's alive?” He blinks at her before his eyes widen as he realises what her question means. He tries not to remember his hands pushing the blood back into his friend's unmoving body.

“My God. Y… Maddie, no, yeah, Ch-Chimney's alive. He… He-he made it through. You both did.” She sobs again. He leans down to press their heads together.

“I think- I think I’m going to miss Wine Night.” Buck’s chuckle is distinctly wet.

“That’s okay, Mads; I’ll forgive you this time. Just don’t do it again.”

“I won’t. Promise.” He shifts their hands around, entwining their pinkie fingers.

“Pinkie promise?” She nods her head against his.

“Pinkie promise.”

Notes:

For those curious the drug Doug gave Maddie supresses her change and enhanced shifter abilities. This would have been something he'd given to Maddie throughout their marriage due to his whole Small Dick Syndrome personality exacerbated by the fact he was human and Maddie isn't.

Also finally the big reveal! Buck is a lion shifter 🦁 I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!

Chapter 20

Summary:

Buck's antsy and Eddie does not help

Chapter Text

Buck did his best not to hover for the next few weeks. Really he did. Maddie had allowed it for a little while but she was starting to get that irritated gleam in her eyes. If she’d been in cat form she would have been undoubtedly flicking her tail at him. Not that she could change forms until she was fully healed. He knew she was itching to do it after Doug had given her the suppressant but shifting whilst injured was really not recommended.

All Shifters were told the horror stories of broken limbs becoming permanently twisted; cuts turning to fatal slashes; the list went on. Out of solidarity, Buck hadn’t shifted since either. Although his skin was becoming twitchy at the absence. Ordinarily he would spend at least an hour, every other day, in his lion form. Maddie had rolled her eyes, insisting he didn’t need to, but he’d seen her small grateful smile too.

He’d also been trying to convince her to move apartments but she was stubbornly standing her ground. Buck knew she was uncomfortable there, that every time she was outside she remembered the sight of Chim’s seemingly lifeless body, because he was having trouble himself. The flagstones still looked red to him, the blood surely having soaked into the slabs. He often woke himself up with the smell of Chim in his nose and the taste of Maddie’s drugged blood in his mouth. From the bags under Maddie’s eyes he was sure she wasn’t faring much better. Neither one of them proposed sleeping in the same bed again though. So maybe they were both being stubborn.

“Don't panic, because panic can be more dangerous than flames, toxic fumes or a sucking chest wound. Guys?” At Bobby’s prompt, Buck and Eddie stepped back to pull the TV forward so that the kids could see it. Eddie caught his gaze, wide-eyed.

“Cap's a little intense, huh?” Buck snorted. They’d all tried to warn him just how into school presentations Bobby got but Eddie had been convinced they were exaggerating. They were not.

“Oh, he takes these talks very seriously,” Buck replied with an eye roll and a grimace. For some reason Bobby insisted that they stand there in their turnout gear. When they weren’t concentrating on saving lives the gear was uncomfortable as hell and disgustingly warm. Although, really they should count themselves lucky; Buck’s first time being roped in he’d been made to wear his helmet and mask too. Small mercies.

By the time the kids had been herded out of the station, Buck just wanted to curl up and nap on his bunk for the rest of their shift. Eddie bumped his shoulder inclining his head up to the loft before he could make his escape. Buck was a weak weak man who followed him up without hesitation.

They had just got comfy on the couch with cups of coffee, barely an inch between them, when the alarm rang out shrilly. Buck tilted his head as Dispatch announced that the CAD system was down. He groaned, throwing his head back. Eddie patted his knee as he quickly took both of their cups back to the kitchen.

As they were climbing into the old trucks Bobby shouted over the din of the still ringing alarm. “Okay, everybody, we are in Tactical Emergency Mode. That means we will not be at the station today. We will be driving all around the district to make sure that we are ready for anything that comes our way.” Hen paused to give him a glare.

“Cap, you do realise we work here, right? We're trained professionals, not fifth-graders.”

“Yeah, right?” Buck muttered as he settled next to Eddie. Bobby at least looked a little sheepish.

“Sorry.”

“Hey, Cap. You ever seen a breakdown like this before?” Eddie asked curiously. Bobby twisted in his seat to answer.

“Once in St. Paul. Blizzard took out the power grid around the call centre and backup generator.”

“I've been through, like, three of these. I'm surprised they don't happen more often, the way the city funds us. Department's held together by chewing gum and spit,” Hen grumbled. Buck grinned over at her just to poke at her.

“Hey, come on, I like these old trucks.” Eddie elbowed him just so Buck would look over to see his eye roll.

“Uh-huh. I like them when they run.” Buck shrugged with an impish smile.

“But the breaking down part is so fun, Eddie.” He was met with a chorus of groans.

The day, in summary, was an absolute mess. They turned up at a scene only to find another engine already there. They passed the same cross streets over and over. They turned up at an incident scene only to find an empty lot. When they eventually did make it to the poor pregnant woman they almost lost her. Buck felt tears pricking the backs of his eyes as the monitor miraculously began to beep whilst the father and child cuddled the mother’s body.

“That was amazing.” Eddie breathed, sounding reverent.

Now, that was a miracle.” Buck forced out around the lump in his throat. Eddie clapped a hand on his shoulder to guide him back to the truck. The hand stayed there until they both climbed in and then it was immediately placed on Buck’s knee. From the corner of his eye, he saw Eddie open his mouth to say something before changing his mind, biting into his bottom lip.

“What?” He asked just so that Eddie would release his hold on his lip and, consequently, Buck’s mind. He received a small shake of the head and a soft smile.

“Nothing.” Buck let it go, happy to bask in the comfort of Eddie’s hand on him all the way back to the station.

“Okay, let's refuel. We're back out there in five minutes. Hen, can you check the ambulance and top off anything that needs resupply?” Bobby ordered as they jumped out. Buck rushed to grab a snack, prompting a snort from Eddie who was taking the chance to check his phone instead. He made sure to grab extra, already stuffing his face, as he returned to his partner. When he passed the goods over Eddie gave him a thankful smile.

They were both completely absorbed in their tasks until slightly raised voices caught Buck’s attention. “You will not. I'll talk to him. That's my job, not yours. You've done enough.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Excuse me? Let me tell you something... I don't like what's happening to my son. He used to care about video games and sports and-and comic books. And ever since you came along, the big damn hero, making him feel like your kind of life is the only one worth having. Filling his head with reckless ideas.” Buck tilted his head, brow furrowing as he stalked towards the noise. He was pretty sure it was Michael and Bobby he could hear, and Buck did not like Michael’s tone one bit.

“Buck?” Eddie called as he noticed Buck leaving his side.

“What we do here is not reckless. Might be difficult to understand when you've never done the job.”

“I get it, Bobby. You're awesome. More awesome than me. But hear me on this: I am not interested in raising my son in your image.” A low grumble started up in Buck’s chest as the arguing pair came into view. The aggression in Michael’s pose and the strong scent of peppermint coming off of Bobby had his hackles raising.

That is not what I'm doing. I'm just trying to be there for Harry.”

“Because I'm not? I'm only with him half the time now, right? Maybe that makes me half a father. It's still half more than you.” Eddie caught his arm then as he likely realised Buck’s muscles were bunching in preparation to spring. Buck’s grumble turned into an angry rumble. Before he could pull himself away from Eddie’s grip, Michael spun on his heel and stormed out of the station.

He watched Bobby sigh before he turned and caught sight of them. His eyebrow rose but then his expression cleared into something slightly amused. “Don’t go chasing after Michael on my behalf, Buck. I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding.” Buck huffed, ending the rumbling abruptly. He shot a glare in the direction Michael had disappeared for good measure before following Bobby back to the truck.

“What was that?” Eddie asked once they were, again, aimlessly driving through the city.

“What was what?” Buck’s voice was still a little lower than usual, he tried to clear his throat inconspicuously. Hen snorted loudly before leaning over to pat his thigh patronisingly. He glared at her from under his lashes but her smile only widened.

“Our Buckaroo can get a little bit protective of his pack.” Eddie looked at him incredulously. Buck shifted his weight on the seat awkwardly.

“I thought cats didn’t have packs?” The question was almost hesitant.

“Most have family groups.” Buck told him in place of an explanation. He wasn’t lying per se; most cats did have family groups but they were almost always exclusively blood related and mated partners. He was just omitting the fact that he wasn’t one of those cats.

“I figured most cat shifters grew out of their family groups until they…made their own.” Eddie hesitated, grimacing with regret and apology. Not that he was completely wrong. Buck didn’t have a family, not really, but he did consider his team a part of his pride, which was essentially a family anyway.

“Ah, but Buck hasn’t grown up yet.” Before he could try and defend himself against Hen’s remark, his phone started vibrating in his pocket. He settled for sticking his tongue out at her instead when he saw it was Chimney ringing. The man was still off work recovering but he would have known they were on shift.

“Hey, Chim; what’s up?” Hen looked over with a frown at Chim’s name.

“Yeah, Buck. Where are you guys?”

“Uh, we are crossing Robertson for the 320th time.” Hen rolled her eyes.

“Get over to Doheny Park, man. The whole damn neighbourhood's on fire. Looks like it's a gas main break.” Buck tensed, the others, sensing his change in mood, shot him concerned glances.

You heard it on the scanner?”

No, I'm watching it on the news right now. Nobody's over there, Buck. Not a single unit.”

“Hey, Cap! Uh, Doheny Park is going up in flames! Chim thinks it's a gas main break. We're close, right?”

“Close enough. Let's do it.”

Buck was pretty sure everyone was stunned by the state of the neighbourhood when they pulled up. Fire seemed to be everywhere and the street was a mess of panicked people.

Dispatch, this is Captain 118. We're at Doheny Park. Multiple residential structure fires. Send everything you can.” Buck jogged off to help corral people away from the houses and out of the way but he looked over when he heard Bobby and Eddie discussing a trapped boy in harried tones.

Bobby gestured for John to move the ladder truck so that they could extend it out to the house, Buck scrambling up onto it before Eddie could get it in his head to do it. He called reassuringly out to the boy as he climbed closer. “I just need you to hold on, okay? I'm coming for you.”

Buck was almost within reach of the window ledge when the ladder below him groaned ominously. Before Buck could react, there was a loud snap and the ladder fell away from beneath him. It was only thanks to Buck’s shifter speed that he was able to grab hold of a rung to stop his head first tumble. He vaguely heard Eddie and Bobby’s shout of alarms but he was easily able to drop down to the ground, from where he was hanging, landing in a graceful crouch.

“You all right?” Bobby asked worriedly as he rushed over, eyes scanning his body quickly for injuries.

“Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Come on.” Buck turned to reassure Eddie and come up with a new plan but the wolf wasn’t by his side. He spotted him just in time to watch him climb, hand over foot, up the damn gutter pipe. “Eddie! Eddie, what are you doing?” His instincts demanded he chase after him but he fought them down. That guttering was not going to hold both of their weights.

As he observed Eddie’s lithe form he found himself grudgingly impressed; he climbed pretty well for a wolf. “I feel like, if I ever did that, you would yell at me.” He commented dryly to Bobby who also made no move to get Eddie back. Bobby shrugged at him a little ruefully. Yeah, the Captain knew he would have reacted completely differently if Buck had pulled that stunt. Buck tried not to feel bitter about it.

“Uh, Cap, I got him. Alive but unconscious. I'm prepping for evac.” Eddie's voice over their radios helped release the vice-like grip that had taken over Buck’s heart. The tension in his shoulders had just started to relax when the ground floor of the house suddenly exploded. Buck dragged Bobby back a couple of steps as his heart leapt into his throat. God, no, Eddie-

“Cap! Negative on evac. Pinned down, south side of the house.” And Buck was officially done waiting.

“I'm gonna take an extinguisher; if I can make that jump I can help Eddie!” He was already halfway back to the truck when Bobby stopped him. It was then he heard the roar of a plane heading their way. He met Bobby’s eyes incredulously and saw the acknowledgment in the strained line of his mouth.

Incoming! Everybody, take cover! Under the trucks now! Now! Go, go! Hunker down. 217 is inbound.”

There was a mad rush as the gathered crowd struggled to get themselves under the nearest vehicles. Buck had only just rolled under the truck when a torrent of water plummeted down around them. He tucked his head into his upper arm to shield it from the harsh splash as the water smacked against the ground right in front of his nose. The downpour felt endless but he knew it could only have been seconds in reality. Every single second, though, his heart pounded out a panicked rhythm. EddieEddieEddie.

As soon as the all clear was given Bobby was on the radio trying to hail Eddie. The deafening silence that followed was damning. Buck was eyeing the now smoking house intently, ready to storm in there if Eddie didn’t respond within the next ten seconds.

After what felt like an eternity, a vague figure appeared in the hazy doorway. Buck's breath stuttered in his chest. He barely restrained himself from throwing himself into the wolf’s arms. Something that would have been super inappropriate for many reasons, not least because Eddie was currently cradling the boy in his arms.

Once the boy had been handed off to Hen, he allowed himself to sidle up to Eddie. Rather than their usual quick bump of shoulders, however, Buck leant heavily against his side. “What's up with the Spider-Man routine?” He tried to ask lightly. He was pretty sure he failed based on Bobby’s raised eyebrow. Thankfully Eddie must have been shaken up enough to not catch it.

“I don't know. I just did it. And prayed a lot.” Buck almost choked. He prayed? That was his grand plan when he spider-monkeyed his way in there? Buck could have throttled him. Bobby filled the silence when Buck failed to reply.

“Yeah, it looks like someone was listening.” Buck sighed deeply, shoving his helmet off so that he could run a slightly shaky hand through his hair. It took a feat of epic proportions to keep his scoff of disbelief at bay.

“You okay?” Eddie asked after another beat of silence. Buck’s eyes practically bugged out of his head at the sheer audacity for Eddie to ask him that after he’d just been trapped in an exploding building. Throttling him was looking more and more appealing by the minute.

His laugh was all kinds of tired when he replied. “Yeah, Eds; I’m fucking great, man.” The wolf eyed him like he’d grown two heads before he seemed to shrug Buck’s weirdness off, pulling away to clap him on the shoulder.

“Good. What a day, huh?” His partner was practically beaming. Jesus fucking Christ. Buck only managed a noncommittal hum in response. It sure had been a day.

When Buck finally dragged himself back to Maddie’s apartment she took one look at him and winced. “Buck, I love you but, please, God, shift tonight; I don’t want to see you human again until tomorrow.” Buck didn’t bother dignifying her with a response, opting to just strip and change right there and then.

She smiled fondly at him after he’d stretched out the kinks, ruffling his mane between his ears. He stretched up a little to rub against the underside of her jaw in return. Giggling, no doubt at the tickling sensation, she pushed him away playfully. “Alright, you big baby, I’m heading over to Chim’s; don’t scratch up the furniture.” Buck huffed at her, insulted, reaching his paw out as if to do just that. She shook her finger mockingly at him but left the apartment with a wide smile.

Feeling more settled in his skin than he had in weeks, Buck bounded up the stairs and curled up on Maddie’s bed, pressing his nose against the duvet so that he fell asleep surrounded by his sister's comforting scent. He only woke when Maddie curled into his back, her tears soaking into his fur. Buck started up a soft purr, waiting for Maddie’s body to relax into sleep before following after her; the two of them sleeping soundly for the first time since Buck had caught Doug’s scent all those months ago.

Chapter 21

Summary:

The Diazes go to the beach; fun was not had by all.

Chapter Text

Eddie fought the urge to cross his arms and glare at the detectives sitting across from him. Instead he purposefully kept his body relaxed and face neutral. If someone had told him he’d be brought in for questioning, under the suspicion of robbing a bank, before he’d even got his shield, he’d have laughed in their face. Seriously? How on Earth did they think a team of firefighters, actively trying to rescue people, would not only take the opportunity to steal however much but also had somehow planned it all in advance? He was pretty sure they were scraping the bottom of the barrel for suspects.

“So you believed this robbery was committed by terrorists?” One of the detectives asked him after they’d been talking in circles for the last ten minutes. Eddie barely held back a snort.

“Don't think I ever said the word ‘terrorists’. Also pretty sure we weren’t aware that it was a robbery until y’all came bursting into our firehouse.”

“But you were the first to suggest it might be a nerve agent.”

“And everyone figured you knew what you were talking about. Coming from the military and all.” Eddie wasn’t sure why there were two detectives in the room at this point, considering they weren't even trying for the typical ‘good cop, bad cop’ routine.

“It was part of my training. How to spot it, how to respond.” They shot a look at each other, the woman pursing her lips before they shuffled their papers and changed tact. Again.

“I imagine it's hard, being a single father. Although I can see here you’re still married.” Eddie tensed involuntarily. “Separated?” Eddie forced a single stiff nod.

“Can you respond verbally for the recording?”

“Yes, we’re currently separated.”

“But you’ve got a kid right? Who’s disabled; I bet it costs quite a lot to provide for him.”

He tried not to think of the arguments he’d been having with Shannon recently. She’d wanted to help contribute but when he’d assured her he had it covered she’d insisted that he couldn’t possibly have because she knew how much Christopher’s care cost. He remembered having to fight a wave of anger at the reminder. As if it was nothing for her to accuse him of not being able to provide for their son when she clearly hadn’t cared when she’d run out on them.

“Yeah, kids in general are expensive.” He forced some enthusiasm into his voice, hoping they wouldn’t see how close that accusation cut. “But they're worth it, right? Yeah, okay, maybe I picked up a few extra shifts here and there, but it's not a big deal.”

“300 grand does solve a lot of problems.” He answered the implication through gritted teeth.

“I've got two full-time jobs: firefighter and dad; I don't have time to plan a robbery.”

In the end they finally caught the guys who had stolen the money. And diamonds according to Hen. Eddie wasn’t 100% sure the detectives had actually done anything to catch them; from the sounds of it Hen had done all the work for them.

Unfortunately, having every part of their lives ripped apart and put under a microscope had resulted in Cap being suspended and them having to now deal with the infamous Captain Han.

Eddie shared an amused glance with Buck as Chim demonstrated the exact way they should be rolling the hoses. He was less amused when Chim insisted they all still needed to sit down and eat together, even though he’d burned whatever monstrosity he’d been trying to cook and had resorted to ordering in pizza.

When their shift was finally over Eddie was pretty sure he heard a collective sigh of relief. “Hey, man, you got plans for the next couple of days?” Buck asked as they bumped shoulders on the way to their cars. Part of Eddie wanted to jump at the opening and ask Buck to spend their three days off with him and Christopher but he reminded himself he’d already made plans and inviting Buck to them would have been… weird, to say the least.

“Yeah, um, Shannon and I are taking Chris to the beach.” He did his best not to watch for Buck’s reaction. He didn’t know if he wanted the cat to be disappointed or not. What he got was a light laugh and a nudge against his side.

“Well good luck keeping him reined in and getting the sand out after.” Eddie grinned, allowing himself to look over and seeing a matching grin on Buck’s face.

“Worth it.” Buck’s grin softened, his eyes crinkling in the corners. Eddie was pretty sure this particular smile of Buck’s was his favourite; it never failed to fill him with warmth.

“Definitely. Hey, send me the pictures when you get the chance,” He called over his shoulder as they split apart to their respective cars.

“How do you know there’s gonna be pictures, huh?” He could practically hear Buck’s eye roll.

“Puh-lease. As if you go one day without taking at least one picture of that kid.”

“...I could.”

“You don’t.” They grinned at each other over the roofs of their cars. “Have fun, Eds. See you in a few days.” Eddie’s smile faded as he watched him drive away. Dios, he needed to get a grip.

Eddie leant back on his elbows, watching as Chris determinedly pounded sand into a bucket. He’d declared he would build the ‘biggest sandcastle ever’ and had been working on it for the last hour. Eddie had of course taken a million pictures, the best ones had already been sent to Buck, who had replied with numerous heart emojis. “Look at him; feel like I won the lottery.”

“Our son seems happy,” Shannon agreed.

“I swear, that kid was born happy.”

“I have no idea where he gets it.” Eddie turned his head to give Shannon a smirk.

“From me.” She snorted, shoving at his shoulder. He tried not to think about how her touch didn’t feel electric like Buck’s touches did.

“You? Mr. Broody?”

“Well, hopefully he gets your brains; he can't get by just on my good looks.”

“Nice. Good one.” The teasing felt nice. It was a familiar back and forth that they hadn’t had in years, not since they’d first found out Shannon was pregnant and Eddie had run away to the army. He sighed a little, focusing back on Christopher.

Chris had seemed happier the past few months and Eddie felt better knowing that his decision, to let Shannon back, had paid off. “He loves having you around.”

“Does he?” Her voice was small and insecure; it was instinct for Eddie to offer her comfort in the form of a quick chaste kiss before he hastily looked back at Chris.

“We both do.” There was a moment of silence where he could feel Shannon staring at him but he refused to meet her gaze, suddenly worried about what he’d find in her eyes.

“Eddie.” He still didn’t turn. “What are we doing?” He tried to act nonchalantly, keeping his voice light and carefree.

“What do you mean?”

“I need to know what you want.”

“I want this. I want to have a nice day on the beach with my son and his mother.”

“Okay. So... is that what I am to you? Christopher's mother?” He tilted his head back as he groaned; she just couldn’t leave anything alone. Not even to enjoy one day as a family. “Because, hey, if that's what it is, it's fine. I just... I need to know.”

Eddie still kept his gaze on his son as he replied. “Shannon... I don't know. These last months have been good. Really good. I don't know. Guess I'm just waiting for a sign. Something... to know which way to step.”

He wasn't sure how to explain the constant doubts he faced. He knew Chris loved having her back but he… he still wasn’t sure. He wanted to make this work but he feared they’d just end up back at each other’s throats before long. Not to mention as more time went by he had to question what his true feelings were for her. Was he still in love with her? Or had he been blinded by the comforting familiarity when his life had still been in turmoil from the move? Sometimes, late at night when he was at his most sleep deprived and honest, he wondered if he had ever been truly in love with his wife.

“I think I might be pregnant.” Eddie froze. His breath caught in his throat. His heart skipped a beat before beginning to race. His palms started to sweat. Shannon was still looking at him, watching him, waiting for his reaction. He didn’t know what his reaction was. He wasn’t sure he was even present anymore. His mind replayed her sentence only they were younger, sitting in a diner with sticky seats and an equally sticky table. He’d looked at her then; held her hand; promised it would be okay, they’d get through it together. But now he couldn’t look at her; couldn’t move; couldn’t be sure that it would be okay. Eddie was actually almost certain it wouldn’t be.

After sitting in silence for a while they both seemed to mutually decide to pack up and call it a day. Eddie didn’t say another word to his wife, eternally grateful that they’d decided to drive separately. He’d expected Christopher to put up a fight when they cut their outing short but, being the perceptive kid he was, he’d not even put up a token of a protest. Eddie thanked God everyday for his kid.

That night Eddie paced his living room once Chris was tucked away in bed. He couldn’t decide what to do; didn’t even really know what his options were but the one constant thought he’d had was to call Buck. He’d held off so far; he didn’t need to complicate things with his confused feelings for the cat but… but he was his best friend and had been an endless support. Eddie knew Buck would be there in a heartbeat with advice or a shoulder to lean on. But he didn’t want to drag him into this mess any further than he already had. The winning argument though was that Eddie knew Buck would advocate not only for what Chris needed but also what Eddie needed. Something Eddie didn’t really know how to do. He’d sent the text before he could overthink it again.

In no time at all Buck was lightly knocking against his door, his face set in a deep worried frown before he’d even stepped foot inside. “What’s wrong? What happened?” Eddie sighed as he guided him over to the couch and sat so that their thighs were pressed together. His relief was almost instant. “Eds?” Buck implored, placing a hand on Eddie’s knee as he leaned forward to catch Eddie’s eyes. He sighed again.

“Shannon might be pregnant.” Buck blinked, his mouth falling open a little before he averted his gaze to a point across the room.

“Okay so?” He finally asked after he seemed to have processed the news, quickly meeting Eddie’s eyes again.

“I don’t know. She…She told me and I… I just sat there. I didn't know what to say.” Buck nodded slowly.

“Okay. Well, that's… understandable, Eddie. You’ve only just gotten back together. It’s expected that you’d be…shocked. Unsure?” Eddie found himself nodding along, already feeling reassured.

“Right. Exactly. See, I don't know, Buck. Another baby? I mean, are we ready for that?” Buck smiled at him, squeezing his knee.

“Were you ready the first time?” Eddie shrugged but looking into his endlessly kind, endlessly blue eyes, he found himself elaborating.

“No. I... I knew I loved her, but I didn't think I was ready to get married.”

“Okay, but you’re already married this time round, so, not thinking about your relationship with Shannon, do you want to have another baby?”

“I…I don’t know.” Eddie felt his breath starting to come quicker as he thought about having a baby with Shannon. He felt Buck’s hand leave his knee and his hand shot out automatically to latch on to prevent him from leaving. Surprising him, Buck caught it and pulled it up until it laid flat against his chest, Buck’s hand pressing it into the hard muscle there.

“Easy, Eds, breathe; you’re okay. Follow me okay? You’re good.” Buck’s breaths were deep and even as he exaggerated them until Eddie managed to match them. “There we go; you’re okay.”

“Thanks,” he said, sounding vaguely strangled.

“I’ve got you, Eds.” He nodded absently as he watched Buck drag his hand away. A whine worked up his throat but died before he could vocalise it when Buck didn’t let go, instead moving to hold it between his palms. Eddie stared at his cradled hand resting on top of Buck’s thigh. “No matter what happens, what you decide; you’re not alone. You’ve got your Abuela; Pepa; Carla; the 118, we’re all here for you, okay?”

“You?” Eddie asked, peering up at the cat who was somehow holding him together, gently and firmly all at once.

“Goes without saying. Obviously.” Buck rolled his eyes even as he rubbed his thumb over the back of Eddie’s hand comfortingly. Eddie knew the smile he gave him was weak but he couldn’t summon much more when his heart suddenly felt so unbearably heavy. Judging by the way Buck tightened his hold he was sure the cat could feel the weight thrumming in his pulse. Eddie had no idea what would happen but he knew Buck would be with him every step of the way.

Chapter 22

Summary:

Eddie is going through it. He has dinner with Shannon and it does not go well.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Eddie felt like bouncing his leg as they pulled up to a house in an unremarkable neighbourhood; all they’d been told was that they had a bombing victim. As they jumped out of the truck Athena met them with a stoic stare. “Mail bomb. Wife's in rough shape, but she's still in one piece. The house hasn't been cleared yet; bomb squad's still a couple of minutes out.” Eddie swallowed heavily but didn’t so much as pause in following the team up to the porch.

She's not breathing! I tried talking to her, but she wouldn't answer.” The man told them frantically when he spotted their approach. Buck took charge in guiding him gently away from the patient as Eddie readied himself to help Hen. He had to brace himself at his first look at the woman who had been blown up, forcing down memories of other burnt up faces, haunting him from a lifetime ago.

However, as soon as Eddie helped turn her over, Chim muscled his way back in. He shared a frown with Hen. “Eddie and I can handle this.” Chim completely ignored her

“Breathing's shallow. We're looking at a bilateral pneumothorax. We don't release the pressure, she could suffocate.”

“I did my share of these in combat,” Eddie tried to no avail.

“Get some fentanyl, slow drip.”

Chim, there's post-attack protocol. You're the captain.” Hen said softly, even as she hurriedly helped to work on the woman.

I'm also the most experienced paramedic on-site. Four-inch catheter, ten-gauge. All right, Buck and Eddie, there could be a secondary device; we need to get everyone off the ‘X’.”

Eddie gave in with a sigh, unable to not feel slightly relieved that he wouldn’t have to deal with another bombing victim, immediately followed by guilt. The guy with the grenade in his leg, when he first started, had been more than close enough for him but he should be better than this by now. He hated that this kind of call always took him right back to days sinking into scorching sand and constantly watching over his shoulder.

“Sir, is there anyone else in the house?” Buck asked, deftly turning the man away from the sight of his disfigured wife.

“No, no. Is she gonna make it? Please, please, please tell me she's gonna make it.” Eddie took a step forward to catch the man’s other arm as he tried to turn in Buck’s hold.

“Why don't you come with us? We can check you out.”

“No, no, no, she has to know that-that we weren't just going out to dinner. I had tickets for us to Fiji!”

“You can tell her... You can tell her yourself later, I promise.” He immediately felt guilty for making the promise but he was too busy fighting back the memories and a never ending torrent of ‘what ifs’ to mind what he was saying.

He remembered a time when he thought he wouldn’t make it back to Shannon and Christopher. That he wouldn’t get to be there to help raise Christopher or that they wouldn’t get the chance to be the family they were meant to be before Eddie had run from them. Watching this man break down over his wife, he knew he didn’t want another ‘what if’.

The decision came surprisingly easily, in the end, as they made their way back to the station. He was going to be there for his son; for his wife; and for their unborn baby. He would take the chance that he’d run from before.

He also decided that he needed to tell Shannon his decision properly, not least because of how he’d reacted at the beach but also because of how he’d reacted throughout the entirety of their marriage. Eddie wanted to make sure that going forward their marriage would be better.

He’d gone to Hen for a recommendation for a nice restaurant, which made Buck pout and whine because he hadn’t been asked to give a recommendation. It quickly changed to a bright red blush when Eddie teased that Buck was the type to hook up with girls in bar bathrooms, so, no, Eddie wasn’t going to ask him where to go on a proper date. Chim had helpfully added that the one time Buck had tried to go on a ‘classy date’ he’d ended up in hospital. Eddie had been equal parts amused and concerned as he eyed Buck’s throat once the full story had been told between Chim’s giggles. Buck had simply rolled his eyes and given them a self-conscious shrug but didn’t again try to proclaim he had extensive knowledge of any upscale date locations.

Thankfully, Buck had offered to watch Christopher so he’d been able to help Eddie out with what to wear. “I see how it is; I can tell you what to wear to the fancy restaurant but not what fancy restaurant to go to.” Buck griped good naturedly after Eddie had finally decided on the first shirt Buck had suggested after trying on almost every other shirt he owned.

“I’m glad you’re so self aware, Buck,” He responded dryly. He heard Buck snort before he left Eddie’s room to return to Chris, where he was playing with his Legos in the living room.

“You’re going to be late, Eddie.” Buck’s singsong comment had him quickly checking his watch and cursing loudly. He bustled out to the living room much to Christopher’s amusement.

“Yeah, dad, you took sooo long to get ready!” Laughing he pecked a kiss on the top of his son’s head.

“Yeah, yeah, we can’t all look as good as you, mijo.” Buck grinned at him as he rushed around, grabbing his things and pointlessly patting his pockets. “Okay, you have Abuela’s and Pepa’s number; call them if you need anything. If it’s an emergency call me first. I mean it, Buck!” He narrowed his eyes as Buck’s grin turned into barely repressed chuckles.

“Jesus, Eddie, okay; I’ve got this. Go before you’re not even fashionably late anymore.” Eddie mockingly scowled at him.

“You’re lucky I have places to be.” Buck threw back his head as he laughed loudly. Eddie’s eyes fastened to the length of his neck greedily before he forced himself to look away.

“Yeah, Eddie, so you should actually go to those places. Sometime tonight preferably.” Still Eddie hesitated in the open doorway. Buck gave him his patented soft smile, the laughter fading away. “Go, Eds.” He gave a short nod; blew Chris a kiss, causing another round of giggles; and finally left.

Eddie liked to think his level of nerves was understandable and that the slight tremor in his sweaty hands was perfectly reasonable. He tried not to dwell on whether Shannon would agree with that assessment as he handed over a box of expensive chocolates with an awkward, “Voilà”. He was also trying to keep his eyes on hers, trying to remember that this was his wife. They were both dressed up, in a lovely restaurant, on a rare date; he should have been unable to keep his eyes off of her but instead all he wanted to do was look away from her shrewd gaze.

Ooh, Eddie, I love these. So is this some kind of Forrest Gump reference? "Life is like a box of chocolates”?” It reminded him of the call from earlier that day when a man had been stuck in a giant vat of chocolate. The image of Buck licking off his gloved fingers came unbidden to his mind but he ruthlessly pushed it away.

“Actually, life is like a vat of molten chocolate.” Shannon’s face was completely bewildered so Eddie rushed to explain. “Yeah, sometimes you... you fall into it, it drags you down, but it-it's... it's warm, you know? It-It's... and it's... It's sweet.” Trailing off when she looked no less confused, instead looking more like she was now studying a weird insect. He coughed awkwardly.

“This is a very weird metaphor.” Taking a deep breath, he tried again. He wasn’t good with romantic declarations or poetic words so he attempted to just say exactly what he was feeling. He sent up a quick prayer that his foot stayed far away from his mouth; he couldn’t afford to mess up again.

“When you came back into our lives, I was so glad. And afraid. I knew Christopher missed you, but I-I... I don't think I realised just... how much I did, too.” The words felt wrong in his mouth but he pushed them out anyway. Judging by Shannon’s expression she thought the words were wrong too.

“Eddie, I think-”

“Please, just let me say this. We were so young the first time. You know, young and not ready. But we had this amazing kid. Being his dad has been the single greatest joy of my life. And that little boy has... tau-taught me more about being a man than war ever did.”

“You're a good dad. You're a great dad.” Shannon’s voice was shaking and tears were welling in her eyes. Eddie continued even as he swallowed around the growing lump in his throat.

“Well, if I am, it's because... he deserves it.”

“Yeah.” She sounded sad but didn’t say anything else so Eddie reached out to take her hand, hoping to offer her comfort though he wasn’t exactly sure for what.

“But he deserves his mummy, too. He loves his mummy. So do I. I want us to be a family again. I wished for a sign. And I got one.” He looked pointedly at her abdomen but when she snatched her hand away he snapped his gaze back up.

“I'm not pregnant.” Her voice was hard. Eddie frowned as the words reverberated through him.

“What?” He choked out.

“I'm not... pregnant. I... I was just late. I freaked out, and then, I freaked you out, too, and I'm sorry. That's got to be a relief, right?” Her smile was wide and entirely fake. When Eddie just stared at her it rapidly dropped and she averted her eyes. He swallowed again.

“It... it doesn't change a thing.” It did though. He could see it on her face before she even opened her mouth. It changed everything.

“It does for me.”

“What?”

“I wrote this letter a few years ago right after I left, or, actually, after I... didn't come back... to Christopher... trying to explain why I couldn't be there. And I figured that if, for some reason, I never found my way back, that he'd want answers. And he needed to know that... it wasn't his fault. That his mother didn't leave because she didn't love him. She left because she did. I never sent it, obviously. And then, when I found out today that I wasn't pregnant, I took that letter out, I read it. Eddie, I never wanted to have to send that letter.”

“Why would you ever?”

“Because I’m still not ready. I told myself I left for my mother but…she died…and I didn't come back.”

“That’s okay; we've both made mistakes.” Eddie knew he sounded desperate but he could feel what was coming. He wanted to curl in on himself if only to minimise the damage she was about to inflict.

“I…I still don’t want to come back, not yet; I’m not ready. I don’t want to fail him again or you; I'm still learning how to be enough for myself. He shouldn’t… I don’t think being around me right now is what he needs. Maybe I can learn how to be someone's mother and someone’s wife but I'm not there right now. I need more time.

“What are you saying here exactly, Shannon?” The anger was building and, God, did Eddie want to give in to it but he was doing his best not to. The way Shannon crossed her arms defensively did not help his struggle.

“I’m saying I need more time before I can be back in your lives again.” He let out a humourless laugh.

“What, two years not quite enough time for you? How much do you want? Four years? Ten? You’re the one who wanted to come back so badly!”

“I know! It’s not like I planned this, you know. The pregnancy was a wake up call; I’m not ready to be a mother, Eddie.”

“Newsflash, Shannon, you already are! Not that you’ve been doing that job for the last two years, mind you.”

“Yeah? And where were you the first few years of Christopher’s life? Hell, where were you during my whole pregnancy?”

Eddie gripped the edge of the table until his fingers turned white. He could feel his claws pressing insistently against the inside of his skin. The wolf begging to be let out. He inhaled deeply, fighting to get back his control. He hadn’t been this close to the edge in years. The two of them were leaning close, both hissing at each other with increasing venom but Eddie could only keep a hold of himself up to a point.

“I admit that I left too, that I ran away, but you know what? I was always coming back. Even when I was gone I kept in contact with him, with you. I called you every chance that I got! And even running away I was still providing for Christopher.”

“We didn’t need money; I needed support!”

“Christopher needed money! As you so helpfully like to point out, his care isn’t cheap. And what about what he needs from you now? What about what I need?”

“You don’t need me; you’ve got a whole new family, a whole new life here. And just like in Texas I'm on the outside looking in.” Eddie blinked at her as she breathed heavily, getting more worked up by the second.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m barely a part of Chris’ life as it is; I’m like a visitor, just popping in every now and again when it suits you but never actually being included.”

“I’ve literally just suggested we try again! You’re saying you’re not being included but you’re not trying to be.”

“Because it’s not a fight I can win!”

“How is it even a fight?” Eddie started to ask but Shannon’s quiet declaration cut across him and cut him off at the knees in the same breath. Tears started steadily making their way down her face.

“And it’s not something I want to fight for.” They both leant back, staring at each other silently, her words hanging heavily in the air.

“So that’s it then?” Eddie whispered. She merely nodded, wiping the tears away as if they’d never been there.

At that moment a waiter approached, perhaps sensing now was the safest timing, lest they be caught in the crossfire. Eddie waved them away before they could even ask for their order. “Thank you but that won’t be necessary; she was just leaving.” The words weighed more than they should. Shannon nodded again, biting her lip as she seemingly debated something. As she stood she pulled a thick manilla envelope out of her bag. She laid it on the table in front of him and then she was gone. The terrible tang of her scent lingered longer than it should.

He got an Uber to the beach, waiting until he was settled in the sand to open the envelope, uncaring of ruining his carefully picked outfit. Tears began to well when he saw that her parting gift had been divorce papers and the godawful letter she’d written to Christopher.

Dios, Christopher. Eddie had no idea what he was going to tell his little boy. How do you explain to a son that his mother had abandoned him again? He didn’t think there was any easy way of doing it. He’d gotten lucky the first time round since Chris had been too young to truly understand. The boy was older, wiser, and had a hell of a lot better understanding of the world now. Giving into the dread twisting in his guts, he read the letter, hoping somehow it would be something that could actually offer his son some comfort.

Dear Christopher,

I'm sure you're wondering where I am. Or maybe not. You're so young. Maybe you've already adapted to a world without me. I hope for that and fear it at the same time. Please know that I love you and I want all the best things in life for you. But I'm starting to think that I'm not one of those things. At least, not right now. I've made a lot of mistakes. They weigh on me. Some days, it feels like they're gonna pull me under. Some days, I wish they would. And that scares me. Not for myself but for you. You are a beautiful, amazing boy. I want your life to be happy and free and full of joy. And I'm not sure that's possible with me in it. It's okay to hate me for leaving. I will understand if you never forgive me. But always know that I love you, baby. Even if it's from a distance.

A scoff came first but the tears soon followed. Knowing that as soon as he dragged himself home he wouldn’t get much time to himself, Eddie allowed himself this moment to break down and grieve. Grieve the life they could have had; grieve the family they might have been; and grieve the inevitable loss of his son’s innocence.

Eventually he pulled himself together, roughly swiping at his wet face, though he knew Buck would take one look at him and immediately know that his evening had gone very, very wrong. Thinking of Buck had Eddie moving faster; he needed the comfort that only his best friend had ever been able to provide him. He longed for the shelter of his arms around him and his reassurances in his ear. He’d allow himself that, if only for tonight. Tomorrow he could rebuild his defences. Eddie picked himself up and made his way home.

Notes:

This is the first major divergence from the original plot, I think, so hopefully you're all still onboard! This is probably the last time Shannon will make an appearance in this fic. I thought about fridging her but I like the idea of leaving the possibility of her coming back open. I did need her out of the way though, and to give the Diaz boys just an eensy weensy bit of trauma, but didn't want to deal with the whole Repressed Anger thing Eddie had going on over her dying (Eddie, my beloved, you can be mad at a dead person!)

As a disclaimer, I don't think Shannon's a bad person for this (and definitely not in canon), selfish maybe but we've all got to be a little bit selfish every now and then.

Thoughts? Let me know!

Chapter 23

Summary:

Buck is there for his Diaz boys

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Buck jerked awake at the sound of a key in the door. He’d been expecting Eddie to either get home late or text him to say he wasn’t coming back at all. His selfish little heart definitely preferred the first option but Buck was doing his best to silence that particular part of himself. It had, at least, significantly quietened down recently, thank God, though he was trying not to think about the reason why.

Clearly he’d lost the battle to stay awake but had somehow remained mostly upright, which was likely how he’d managed to be woken by the barely-there scrape of metal. He peered blearily at the clock, frowning when he saw it was gone one in the morning. Why on Earth would Eddie drag himself home, presumably out of Shannon’s bed, at this hour?

When the wolf finally rounded the corner Buck could tell with one look that he definitely hadn’t come from any bed. Even if he hadn't been overwhelmed by the spice in his scent he could see the redness of his eyes and too pale skin. As he took a deeper breath, Buck wrinkled his nose. “You smell like the beach.” Buck unnecessarily informed him, tilting his head as he considered his friend’s dishevelled appearance.

“Is that all?” Eddie’s voice was disturbingly hollow; the hair on the back of Buck’s neck rose in warning. Carefully standing, Buck crossed the room until he could gently cup Eddie's shoulders in his palms. Before he could even try to question him, he was tipping forward into Buck’s chest. Buck’s arms rose to wrap around him instantly.

“Talk to me, Eds, what happened?” Eddie rubbed his face against Buck as if he could burrow under his skin. If it were possible Buck knew he would let him. He lifted a hand to rest against the back of his head, his fingers brushing through the short strands of hair subconsciously. “Come on, sweetheart, you’re scaring me.” Buck almost made himself bleed as he bit his tongue too late to stop the endearment slipping out.

His heart hurt as Eddie pulled back slightly but was relieved when he only resituated himself so that he could tuck his face into the crook of Buck’s neck, his nose pressing tightly into the skin there. He was pretty sure Eddie was scenting him when he felt him inhale deeply. “She’s left.” Eddie’s voice distracted him from his internal crisis over the wolf’s actions. Buck hesitated, almost afraid to ask.

“Left how?”

“Left me. Left Chris. Gave me divorce papers. And a letter.” Buck tightened his arms, rubbing his jaw against the top of Eddie’s head in an instinctive reaction to his best friend’s distress.

“A letter?”

“For Chris. Saying that she was sorry. That he was bet-better off without h-her.” Eddie started to shake as his breath heaved in and out too quickly. He could feel wetness on his neck as Eddie pressed his mouth against him, trying in vain to muffle his heart-breaking cries.

“It’s okay, Eds, let it out. Just let it all out.”

Buck clutched Eddie to him even as he rubbed soothing circles into his back. The wolf’s cries lasted a long time but eventually they slowed to sniffles and the occasional hiccuping breath.

“There we go. It’s going to be okay, Eds; I’ve got you. It’ll be okay.” Eddie pulled back slightly but moved his arms from where they’d been curled up between them to tightly grip the sides of Buck’s t-shirt, almost like he had to make sure Buck wasn’t about to leave too.

Buck swallowed down an aggressive snarl. That this woman had destroyed him so thoroughly... No, Eddie didn’t need his anger; he needed Buck to just be there for him. A solid and unmoving support.

He stroked his hand from the back of Eddie’s head down until it rested between his shoulder blades. “I’m not going anywhere, alright? For as long as you and Chris need me; I’ll be here, Eds.” The wolf’s grip didn’t loosen any but he did nod slowly. Buck sighed; if Eddie didn’t believe him he had no problem proving it.

“W-What do I tell Chris? It was…It was hard enough the first time when he didn’t really get it and we didn’t know that she wasn’t coming back, we thought- Her mother was sick so it made sense. For her to leave. But now she’s just-”

“Whoa, easy. Take a breath. We’ll figure it out, okay?” Buck started rubbing soft circles again. Eddie took a deliberate breath, maintaining eye contact the entire time as if he could will himself to keep calm so long as Buck kept his eyes on him. “There you go, good. Give me a couple more deep breaths. Good, you’ve got it. You’re doing great. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Eddie seemed to deflate as soon as he’d started breathing normally again, shuffling closer to Buck until they were pressed together fully. The closeness meant Buck could feel his faint trembling, likely from the adrenaline come down. Giving him time to take the comfort he needed, Buck held him silently, keeping up the soothing motions of his hands.

“Chris.” The murmur was muffled but he could still hear the heartbreak in it.

“I know. But he’s asleep right now so why don’t we get you to bed, maybe things will feel clearer in the morning.” He felt Eddie nod against him. “Alright, come on.” Buck kept an arm wrapped around Eddie’s shoulders as he guided him down the hall, unsurprised when the wolf clung to him still.

He was scarily pliant as Buck helped him strip down to his boxers, his eyes glassy and far away. He noticed the further Buck was from him the deeper breaths he seemed to be taking, his nostrils flaring as if desperate to catch his scent. After a moment of consideration, and another moment to push down his guilty sense of satisfaction, Buck stripped his own t-shirt off and pulled it down over Eddie’s head. The action made Eddie blink and Buck froze as he stared at him silently for a second. But then the corner of his mouth tipped up and he brought the collar up over his nose.

“Thank you.”

Unable to form words past his suddenly constricted throat, Buck merely patted his arm and then gently pushed him backwards into the bed, taking the time to pull the covers back up over him. He smoothed some of Eddie’s hair back from his forehead and then cupped the side of his face, stroking his thumb once over his cheekbone, before finally withdrawing. “Get some rest, Eds.”

As he began to back out of the room, Eddie shot up in bed, panic clouding his face. “Hey, hey, what is it?” Buck asked as he rushed back to his side. A hand latched around his wrist as soon as he was within reach.

“Please.”

“Anything. What do you need, Eds?” His wet pleading eyes broke Buck’s heart. It took everything in him not to gather the wolf into his arms and hold on tight.

“Stay. Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Eds. Promise. I’m right down the hall, if you need anything, okay?”

He waited for Eddie to release him but his grip seemed to only tighten. Frowning, Buck ran his eyes over him as if he would be able to find the answer written on him. His eyes were averted now but Buck could see a faint flush along his cheeks. Still his hold didn’t budge an inch. After a minute, where neither of them moved, Eddie’s eyes finally returned to him, somehow more desperate than before.

He tugged on Buck’s arm as he begged “please” again. Finally realising what Eddie was asking for, Buck’s eyes widened in surprise and Eddie looked away again, his flush deepening. Before he could get it into his head to be ashamed of asking for what he needed, Buck climbed over him to get in on the other side of the bed, facing him, Eddie’s hand still wrapped around his wrist.

“Of course, Eds. Whatever you want, anything I can give you, you can have.” The words revealed too much but Buck wouldn’t take them back, not when Eddie finally relaxed again, curling his body closer to Buck’s. “Sleep; I’ll be here when you wake up.” The wolf drifted off quickly but Buck was awake for a long time, simply watching him. He had no idea how to help Eddie, or Chris, but he was damn sure going to do everything he could to get them through this.

Buck woke slowly, disorientated when he realised he was wrapped around a body and was most definitely not in his own bed. Just as he started to remember what had happened in the early hours of the morning, a giggle had his eyes snapping open. The body he was wrapped around was his best friend’s and the giggle was from his best friend’s son, who was standing by the side of the bed watching them cuddle.

When Chris saw Buck was awake he started pulling himself up. Reacting without thought, he quickly sat up so that he could reach over Eddie and help him up. Chris flopped over both of them until Buck shifted away so that he fell between their bodies. He giggled at the sudden movement but slapped his hand over his mouth clearly trying not to wake his father. Unable to resist the boy’s joy, Buck had to bite down on his lip to hold back his own laugh.

“Morning, kiddo. Sleep well?” He asked quietly when they had both gotten themselves back under control. The boy nodded enthusiastically but seemed content to curl up against Buck’s chest. These Diaz boys might very well be the death of me, he thought as he laid an arm over Chris’ waist. “Why don’t you take a little nap and I’ll make us some pancakes when your dad wakes up, yeah?” He got a muttered agreement and wide yawn, the boy already falling back to sleep. Buck knew his smile was all kinds of fond.

After maybe half an hour of lying there, Buck was brought out of a light doze by a soft pained whimper. Snapping his eyes open he saw Chris was still happily tucked against him and fast asleep. Eddie, however, had become a tense line. With the hand resting over Chris, Buck reached out to gently grab Eddie’s hip. The wolf flipped over instantly, dislodging his hold. He gave him what was hopefully a reassuring smile but he couldn’t help crinkling his brow in concern.

Eddie took hold of Buck’s hand, pulling it over him again as he scooted in against Chris. “You stayed.” It was said quietly but filled wholly with awe. Buck smiled softly, pressing his hand into the base of Eddie’s back.

“I promised, didn’t I?” His tone was light but he knew Eddie would hear just how serious he was.

“Yeah, yeah you did.” Eddie’s answering smile was subdued but Buck would take every inch of it.

“I also promised Chris that I would make pancakes once you were awake, so…”

“Uh huh, bribing my kid to sleep in, Buck?”

“I mean, are you complaining?” The teasing light in Eddie’s eyes shifted into something unreadable.

“No. Never.”

“Good,” Buck murmured, rubbing his thumb against Eddie’s back in a small circle, reminiscent of last night.

Before either one of them could say something else, Chris woke up and, seeing his dad also awake, loudly demanded Buck keep his promise of pancakes. “Well I am a man of my word, after all.” Buck declared as he scooped Chris over his shoulder and carted him to the kitchen, leaving Eddie to get up in his own time.

By the time Eddie made it to the kitchen, Buck was plating up a massive pile of fluffy pancakes that he was pretty sure even Bobby would have been proud of. Breakfast was normally filled with Chris chattering away to Buck whilst Eddie did his best to stay upright and awake, grumbling into his coffee whenever they got a bit too excited and their voices rose. This morning was no different except Eddie was far too alert and there was an underlying tension in Buck’s replies. The only saving grace was that Chris remained blissfully unaware. For the moment, at least.

A low level rumble started in Buck’s chest and Eddie’s eyes flicked over to him with a raised eyebrow. Buck forced his thoughts away from the elephant in the room, focusing back just in time to hear Chris ask for his opinion on the likelihood of living on the moon.

“I’m not sure but if anyone could find a way I bet you could, Superman.” Buck answered much to Chris’ delight; his eyes lighting up as he wriggled in his seat.

“I’m gonna go build a spaceship right now!”

“We’re getting to the moon in a Lego spaceship, I take it?”

“Obviously, Buck!” Chris whined, way too sassy for a kid who wasn’t even into double digits yet.

“Yeah, Buck, obviously.” Eddie teased but it was lacking the usual lightness, his mouth straining against a forced smile.

“Right, silly me.”

“Why don’t you go ahead and get started, mijo? I’ll be right there.”

“Okay, dad!” Chris called brightly, already rushing out of the room.

Eddie’s smile dropped as soon as he was out of sight, a deep tired frown taking its place. Buck wanted to take him in his arms again but right now Eddie had all his prickly spines at attention. He settled for clearing the table, sneaking glances as he seemed to work through whatever dark thoughts had taken hold.

“I’m going to, uh, go talk to him. Tell him that- Tell him.” Buck nodded silently but Eddie remained seated staring at the wall, unseeing.

“Did you-” Eddie’s head swung round to him abruptly as if he’d already forgotten Buck was there. He cleared his throat. “Did you want me to stay or, um, I can go? Whatever you think is best, Eddie.”

“Would you-” He stopped, scrunching his eyes closed for a second. “Would you stay? Just in case… I mean I'm not sure how Chris is going to react but I don’t think it would… hurt… having you here for him.”

“Of course. I meant what I said, Eddie, anything either of you need, okay?”

“Right. Yeah. Thank you.” Buck smiled tentatively. He understood why Eddie thought he needed to be this stilted withdrawn version of himself but it didn’t pain Buck any less to see it.

“No need to thank me.” All he got was an acknowledging nod and then Eddie was making his way out of the room, shoulders heavy under their burden. Buck so desperately wanted to take some of the weight but he knew he could only take what Eddie gave him.

To keep himself busy, and so that he wouldn’t accidentally eavesdrop, Buck went about cleaning up the kitchen. He was in the middle of doing the washing up when he heard the soft clack of crutches coming down the hall. He wiped his hands and turned just in time for Chris to appear in the doorway. He was crying quietly as he shuffled over to him, planting his head in Buck’s belly, arms wrapping around him as he let his crutches fall haphazardly.

Buck took the chance to crouch slightly so that he could pick the boy up, holding him tight against his chest. Chris shifted, without complaint, to wrap his arms around Buck’s neck, hiding his wet face in Buck’s shoulder. Tears welled in Buck’s eyes as he made eye contact with a devastated looking Eddie leaning against the door frame.

“You’re not going to leave too are you, Buck?” Eddie’s face crumpled. Buck was sure his was no better. He held Chris tighter as he looked intently at Eddie.

“Never, buddy.” The wolf searched his face until his shoulders relaxed infinitesimally at whatever he found. He approached the two of them, one hand rubbing at Chris’ back, the other clutching Buck’s bicep.

“Buck’s always gonna be here, Chris. Neither of us are ever leaving you, okay?” Chris lifted his head.

“Promise?” He asked, his lower lip wobbling. Buck tried to sniff back his own tears. adjusting him so that he could hold him with one arm and bring the other up, pinkie first.

“Pinkie promise.” The smile Chris gave them when Eddie wrapped his own pinkie around their joined ones made Buck think that, maybe, it really was going to be okay.

Notes:

Eddie's little breakdown might be a bit OOC but I figure he deserves it so...

Chapter 24

Summary:

Two fools being so very soft when they're sleepy

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Buck sighed as he let himself into Eddie’s house.

The morning after Shannon left, Eddie had called out for his shift and kept Chris home from school. Everything in Buck had wanted to stay with them but he knew he didn’t have a valid reason to. The sad puppy eyes Christopher had aimed Buck’s way hadn’t helped any.

Buck had missed Eddie like a phantom limb the entire shift. On the rare occasion they’d not been on shift together before, Buck had sent him random texts throughout the day but he knew he couldn’t bother the wolf today of all days. So, though they’d been kept busy, Buck had been a hyperactive mess during any downtime. Something the rest of the team had not appreciated.

He had been thankful for Eddie’s absence when they’d been called to a bomb scare at a school. He would not have wanted Eddie storming in there doing his whole army-man-bomb-diffusing-thing again.

By the time they’d returned to the station after their last call Buck had been visibly dragging. It was as he was clambering into his Jeep that his phone had started ringing. With a tired groan he’d tugged it out of his pocket and had frowned when he saw it was Eddie calling him. The wolf asked Buck to come back to his to help distract Christopher from the fact that his mother had abandoned him. Again. God, Buck still couldn’t believe she’d done that.

And then that had turned into Buck staying over again, sadly on the couch this time. And then that had turned into Buck staying over for the next few nights. And then Buck and Eddie had had an overnight shift so Buck had followed Eddie home and napped until Christopher came home from school. And then Eddie had given him a key and told him to let himself in whenever he wanted.

Which brought Buck to now. It was Saturday night and he’d spent the evening with Maddie as per usual except, rather than sleeping on the air mattress, he’d stayed sober and driven ho- back to Eddie’s. Both Diaz boys had looked far too sad at the idea that Buck wouldn’t be there Sunday morning that he hadn’t been able to bring himself to disappoint them.

So Buck was doing his best to sneak into Eddie’s house, hoping that he wouldn’t wake either of them. He needn’t have bothered as both of them were curled up on the couch together, fast asleep. Creeping over, he crouched beside them, unable to resist stroking a hand over Chris’ head. After taking a moment just to admire the picture they made, his heart aching longingly, he gently scooped Chris up into his arms. Eddie began to stir at the movement, his eyes slitting open.

“Shh, Eds, I’m just putting Chris to bed.” Buck soothed, carding a hand tenderly through Eddie’s hair. The wolf hummed softly and his eyes fluttered closed again. Buck managed to resist the urge to lean down and plant a kiss on his forehead.

He quickly got Chris tucked into his bed, pecking a kiss on the top of his head and brushing his curls away from his face before he returned to the living room. Eddie had curled himself up against the arm of the sofa in the absence of his son to curl around. Buck smiled fondly as he crouched next to him again. Feeling safe in the knowledge that Eddie would be too sleepy to read into anything, Buck allowed himself to card his fingers through his hair again.

“C’mon, Eds, your turn.” Eddie stirred again, squinting at Buck before grumbling and pitching forward. He ended up burying his face in Buck’s neck. Chuckling lightly, Buck cupped the back of his head even as he started tugging on his arm. “Bedtime, c’mon.” Eddie didn’t move a muscle, only whining at Buck’s attempt to rouse him. Sighing in defeat, Buck shuffled closer and pulled Eddie upright against him. He gripped Eddie’s thighs, bringing them around his waist, desperately trying not to think too much about how good Eddie’s body felt wrapped around him. He smoothly stood up, Eddie grumbling lowly but not waking enough to stop Buck from carrying him to bed. Do not think about the connotations of that, Buckley.

It was surprisingly easy to get him situated and tucked in but the problem arose when Buck tried to leave. Eddie sighed deeply as he tugged on Buck’s arm just as he was removing it from underneath him. Unexpected as it was, it pulled Buck off balance until he ended up kneeling over the wolf. Seemingly unaware of Buck’s attempt to scramble back, Eddie hooked his arm around Buck’s shoulder and yanked him down until Buck was lying on top of him. Buck was sure he must be dreaming when Eddie’s only response to their new position was to snuggle in and sigh contentedly.

“Eddie?” Buck whispered, loath to wake the wolf but also pretty sure he wouldn’t be wanting Buck on top of him if he were awake. If anything Eddie seemed to slip deeper into sleep. Groaning quietly in defeat, Buck dropped his head to tuck into Eddie’s neck, unable to control himself and inhaling deeply. Just before he drifted off, Buck began lightly purring and rubbed his head under Eddie’s chin. Home, was his last conscious thought as he fell deeply asleep, breathing in the mixed scent of him, Eddie, and the remnants of Chris.

Someone was shaking him. Buck’s eyes scrunched as he tried to roll away from the sensation but he didn’t get far before he was fully pressed against a body. “Buck.” Never able to say no to that voice, Buck hummed an acknowledgement, nuzzling closer to the warmth next to him. There was a light snort and then the hand that had been shaking him stroked over his back. “Your phone was ringing.” Buck wasn’t sure why the voice was demanding his attention now when his phone was no longer ringing. Buck hummed again, already falling back asleep. “It’s your girlfriend, Buck.”

“‘Kay.” When Buck didn’t move, the voice laughed again and the hand moved up to curl around the nape of his neck to tip his head back.

“Buck. She’s on the phone.” Giving in, Buck’s eyes flickered open long enough to see Eddie looking down at him and holding his phone, clearly displaying an ongoing call. Groaning, Buck took the phone and laid it on the side of his face, not bothering to hold it in place.

“H’llo?”

Buck.” Buck hummed again, his eyes closed. “Where are you?”

“Bed.” There was a moment of silence and Buck had to fight against the lure of sleep again.

With Eddie?”

“Mmhm.” Eddie moved away so that they were no longer pressed together. Buck frowned and shuffled back into the warm nook of his body. He felt a puff of air wash over him as Eddie huffed but his hand came to rest on his back again so Buck was willing to ignore it.

Why are you in bed with Eddie?”

“Comfy,” was all Buck was able to articulate.

Right.” There was another pause and Buck started losing the fight against sleep. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” Luckily she hung up before Buck had to try and respond; his brain mostly shut off at this point.

“Buck.” Figuring Eddie was reminding him about the phone still laying on his face, Buck fumbled until he was pushing it into Eddie’s chest.

“M’done.” There was another huff but this one sounded more like a laugh so Buck ignored it too.

“You’re still in your jeans.” Rubbing his nose into the soft cotton of Eddie’s t-shirt, he nodded his agreement. “That can’t be comfortable, why don’t you get changed?”

“Is.” With a sigh, Eddie’s arm on his back tightened and pulled him closer. Buck was more than happy to curl his own arm over Eddie’s waist and slot a leg between Eddie’s. Now fully entwined with the wolf, Buck sunk back into a deep sleep within seconds.

The next time he woke up it was because of sunlight stabbing into his eyes. Groaning, Buck flipped over, only becoming aware of the arms that were wrapped around him when they lifted to allow his movement and then settled back into place.

“Morning.” Eddie sounded far too amused for Buck’s liking.

“Ugh.”

“And here I thought you were a morning person.”

“Am when m’wake,” Buck muttered into the broad chest he’d buried his face into.

“Well, you’re definitely not when I have to wake you up.”

“Says you.” Eddie laughed but there was a tightness to it that Buck didn’t understand.

“I’m not the one who told his girlfriend he was in someone else’s bed whilst cuddled up to that person.” Buck shrugged a shoulder not really bothered as he remembered the late night phone call. “Pretty sure she’s gonna have an issue with that.” He agreed but again didn’t particularly care; it’s not like there was even the possibility of them having done anything considering Eddie was straight as a ruler.

“Mm, maybe. At least I’m not the one who had to be carried to bed and refused to let go.” He felt Eddie stiffen against him.

“I thought I’d dreamt that.”

“Mm, nope.” Buck held his breath as he waited for Eddie to inevitably shove him away but after a few seconds his body relaxed again.

“Huh.”

They stayed there, tangled together in Eddie’s bed, until they heard Chris starting to get up in the next room. With a sigh, Buck pulled away and got up, stretching his arms above his head. He grimaced when he saw that he was still wearing his jeans and turned to Eddie’s dresser to dig out some sweats.

“I did try and get you to change last night.” Buck grumbled under his breath as he changed, much to Eddie’s amusement.

“Next time try harder.” That caused the wolf to laugh loudly before smirking at him.

“Sure, Buck.”

After he had fed the Diaz boys and Chris had wandered away to watch cartoons, Eddie bumped him away from the sink with his hip. “I’ll get these; you should call your girlfriend.” He backed away until he could lean against the counter, watching Eddie’s arms flex deliciously as he started washing the dishes.

“First off, she’s not my girlfriend. And secondly, she said she would call me.” Eddie frowned over at him.

“You broke up?”

“We were never together.” When Eddie’s frown deepened in confusion, Buck had to bite back his smile. It wasn’t his fault Eddie looked so adorable sleep rumpled and frowning. “We’re exclusive but that’s as far as we got with a label.”

“Sounds like she’s your girlfriend to me.” Buck shrugged. “Whatever. You should still call her.” Buck held his hands up in surrender.

“Okay, okay; I’m going.”

Deciding to take the call in Eddie’s room, he closed the door behind him and sat on the bed whilst he waited for Ali to answer.

So.

“So?”

I’m going to be in L.A in a couple of days, am I going to see you?

“Sure, I’m off on Wednesday; we could do lunch?”

Will you come over after your shift Tuesday then? That way we can do breakfast as well. I’m booked into the Hilton so we can get room service again.” Her voice dropped lower suggestively. Buck ran a hand through his hair, grimacing at the mess of it since he’d not washed the product out the night before. He sighed as he answered, already knowing what was going to happen.

“I’m going to be at Eddie’s.” Sure enough there was a tense silence before her voice came back sour.

You’ve been at his for a week already.”

“I know.”

Are you sleeping with him?”

“We’ve slept in the same bed a couple of times. Platonically. We agreed to be exclusive, remember? I don’t cheat.”

But you’re going to spend the night with him instead of your girlfriend.” Buck frowned harshly at that.

“I’m spending the night with people who need me over the woman who uses me as a booty call.”

Right. So that’s that then?”

“I guess it is.”

“Let me know when you’re done playing house, Evan.” She hung up before he could reply, the words landing sharply between his ribs. The heaviness of his name settled in his throat, choking him. He breathed in deeply until the lump dissipated and his heart calmed down but the sting was still there in the background. When he heard Christopher’s giggling he forced himself up.

Eddie looked up worriedly as he entered the living room but he ignored him in favour of tickling Christopher until the boy was screeching delightedly. “Dad, help!” With a grin, Eddie got between them and lifted Chris over his shoulder, running for the kitchen. Buck ran after them, laughing as they chased each other around the table until they were all panting and eventually called a truce.

It wasn’t until much later, when they’d settled back on the couch with a couple of beers after having read Chris a story each, that Eddie brought it up. “You weren’t on the phone for very long; everything okay?” Buck smiled easily over at him.

“We called it off.” Eddie recoiled, horror flashing across his face.

“You broke up because of me?” Rolling his eyes, he placed a reassuring hand on Eddie’s shoulder.

“We weren’t together to break up and it wasn’t because of you. Relax.”

“I’m so sorry, Buck.”

“Don’t be. It’s not like I’ll even notice the difference to be honest.”

Buck knew he had tried in the beginning but when Ali hadn’t reciprocated, and after months of only the occasional hook-up, he knew their arrangement was never going to turn into the relationship he wanted. The only reason they hadn’t broken up earlier was because they hardly ever saw each other.

“Still.”

“Seriously, man, she tried to pull the girlfriend card and make me choose between her and you guys. It was never going to work out.

“You said she wasn’t your girlfriend.”

“Exactly. But as soon as she wants something? Suddenly she’s calling herself my girlfriend. She was a glorified booty call, man, don’t get your tail in a twist about it.” Eddie nodded slowly but then he grimaced.

“You chose my lumpy couch over sex?” Buck snorted.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” They both laughed at that, Buck grinning over his beer bottle at Eddie. He saw the exact moment that he became serious again.

“Thank you, Buck.” He titled his head.

“For what?”

“For being here. For…choosing us.” Eddie averted his eyes. Not happy with that, Buck leaned in until their gazes met again.

“Eds, you don’t have to thank me for that. I’m always going to choose you.” Realising just how much that revealed of his stupid feelings Buck forced a smirk onto his face. “Except, of course, if I have to choose between you and Chris, ‘cause then I’m choosing Chris.” He expected Eddie to laugh but instead the wolf smiled so softly that it caused Buck’s heart to ache.

“I know.”

“He is my favourite Diaz after all.” Eddie’s smile widened, his eyes practically sparkling at Buck.

“I’m well aware of that.” With a decisive nod, Buck made a hasty retreat back to his side of the couch.

“Good.”

Notes:

I'm pretty sure I thought about Ali exactly as much as the canon writers did.

Chapter 25

Summary:

The bomber's final act

Chapter Text

Eddie watched avidly as Buck lifted a pair of free weights in front of the mirror. He was supposed to be benching his own weights but when he’d sat down and realised how conveniently placed the bench was he’d just sat there and stared instead. It wasn’t the first time he’d been waylaid by simply the sight of Buck and he was certain it wouldn’t be anywhere close to the last. It wasn’t his fault his best friend was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.

Noticing his preoccupation, Buck turned around and offered him a winning smile. “Need a spot?” Did he want to have an excuse to stare at Buck’s face and the opportunity to fantasise about other situations where he would be hovering above him? Eddie wasn’t a complete idiot.

“Yeah, thanks.” Buck took a second to wipe his face on the bottom of his tank, revealing his mouth-watering abs in the process. Eddie flashed back to yesterday morning when Buck had climbed out of Eddie’s bed and stretched, revealing a tantalising slither of soft skin and hard muscle. Buck’s body affected him at the best of times but Eddie had discovered the sight was absolutely devastating first thing in the morning. He had still been reeling from Buck clinging to him all night so it was entirely unfair of the cat to put him through that show as well.

“Eddie?” He snapped back to attention to find Buck behind him, leaning on the bar. “You good?”

“Yeah, man, sorry.” He got into position before Buck could question his distracted state.

They’d only gotten through one set before the bell was ringing. Groaning, they both rushed to get their gear on. When they spotted the empty Captain seat in the other truck their eyes met briefly before they raced to get it. Buck beat him by a hair. Probably because of his ridiculously long legs. “Snooze you lose!” Buck jeered as Eddie was forced to slink over to the other truck with Hen already laughing at his disgruntled face.

“There there, Eddie.” She patted his shoulder teasingly.

“You’ll get him next time.” Chim called from his own Captain seat. Eddie feigned a grumpy expression but he was still a little thrown off whenever he saw Chim sat there. It was made infinitely worse without Buck right by his side to share in the weirdness of it.

As they followed the other truck to the scene, something he was sure Buck was going to be gloating about, Dispatch came through on their headsets. “118, 118, this is Dispatch. Got Bobby Nash on the line. He says it's important.” He and Hen frowned at each other as Chim replied, sounding equally confused.

“Wait, what? Dispatch? Dispatch, please repeat.” Before they could repeat themselves there was an almighty bang and a brilliant flash of light in front of them. Eddie watched, completely numb, as the other truck exploded, flipping in the air.

Their truck skidded and screeched as it swerved to a stop, harshly throwing Eddie and Hen sideways. He threw the door open and jumped out before it could come to a stop with Hen hurrying after him. He had barely begun to sprint for the truck when Hen and Chim clamped onto his arms.

“Eddie. Eddie, stop!” Thrashing wildly in their hold it wasn’t until Hen forced his jaw away and yelled in his ear that he froze.

“Look! There’s someone there. We go over there now, who knows what that kid will do.” He watched as a teenage boy paced in front of the truck, his jacket falling open to reveal the bomb strapped to his chest. Eddie’s breath caught and his wolf surged to the surface. Desperate for action, to rip and shred and protect. He forced it back. Even if he shifted now he wouldn’t make it to the truck before the kid could set the bomb off.

He allowed Hen and Chim to pull him behind their truck but he took a step forward, away from the shelter of the vehicle, to keep a clear view of the scene. From this new angle he could see various bodies littering the street, some groaning. But it was one body in particular that Eddie’s eyes zeroed in on. His heart broke when he saw Buck pinned under the ladder truck, looking as if he was trying to crawl away from the unimaginable pain. The bomber paced just above his head, taunting him. Eddie’s hands fisted at his side, his claws emerging and puncturing his palms.

Eddie wasn’t sure how long they were forced to watch Buck in agony as various other emergency vehicles arrived. Chim called desperately into his radio when it looked as though they were all content to stand back and watch whatever the hell this was unfold. “Dispatch, this is Captain 118. What is the play? I've got people dying in the street.”

“Hold your position, 118.” Eddie growled, practically vibrating with the need to do something, anything, to help Buck.

“Get me the captain! Where's the captain?!” His gaze snapped over to the bomber so he missed when Chim suddenly stepped away from them and towards him. “Hey, I told you not to move.” As Eddie saw him getting agitated he took a halting step after Chim but Hen held him back with her steely grip.

“Cap-Cap... Cap!” He hissed, watching as the bomber held up the trigger deliberately.

“I'm the captain, okay? I'm the captain, so please just let me help them, okay? Please.”

“No. No, I don't want you. I want Captain Nash.” For a terrible moment Eddie was sure Buck was going to die. Because Bobby wasn’t here. But then somehow he was.

“Freddie!”

“Thought you'd be on the truck.”

“I'm here now. What's next? This what you wanted?”

“I wanted you dead!”

“I get that. But what about them? What about him?” Eddie’s eyes glued to Buck again only to find his dazed brilliant blue eyes looking right back. He tried to will Buck to hold on through his stare alone. “He's got parents; a sister; a girlfriend, and he never did anything to you. He wasn't even a firefighter when your father burned down that restaurant.”

“Collateral damage.” Eddie’s canines descended and he knew his eyes had started glowing. A low growl began in the back of his throat.

“Is that how you see yourself? An unintended victim in all this?” Oh, he was going to be a victim alright. Just as soon as Eddie got his claws in him.

“Stop! One more step, we all go boom.” Eddie wasn’t sure he could get any more tense as the bomber showed off the trigger again as Bobby kept trying to edge closer.

“Freddie, you got dealt a bad hand, and I am sorry about that. But what you did with it... That's a choice. You stopped being a victim the moment you left that first bomb.”

“That lawyer! She-”

“Did her job. We were all doing our jobs.”

“Destroying my family! My mom and I lost everything! She was in so much pain.”

“Want to make it worse? You want to make her watch you die?”

A woman called out to him, “Freddie!” and then Bobby was lunging for him, wrestling the trigger away from him and stepping back so the bomb squad officers could detain him.

Eddie didn’t waste a second as he sprinted to Buck’s side. He was beyond grateful to see his eyes still open, even glazed over with tears and pain. The lump in his throat and dread in his chest meant that all he could do was take hold of Buck’s hand and grip it tightly, hoping it conveyed everything he wanted to say but couldn’t.

Still with us, Buck?” Chim asked as he frantically dug through his med bag.

“Buck, how we doing?” Hen’s voice was strangled as she started patting across Buck’s body.

“Kind of numb.” The tremble in his voice had Eddie snapping out of his mute state. He brushed his free thumb over Buck’s cheekbone under the guise of checking him.

“Skin is cold and pale.” He added as Hen and Chim spoke rapid fire to each other. “Hang on, Buck,” he begged, his hands never moving away from Buck’s cooling skin. “Please. You have to hang on, just a little longer, cariño, please.” He bent forward until he could press their heads together, temple to temple, and breathed in his ocean scent. Even buried under the smell of blood and smoke it calmed Eddie enough to control his suddenly shaking hands.

Okay, okay, we got to try to lift this!” Bobby’s shout had him looking up as every first responder rushed to the flipped truck in an attempt to lift it. Eddie knew he should get up and help but he couldn’t let go of Buck. If he let go now he might never hold him again.

“Ready! Lift!” The truck creaked as it was lifted slightly. The sound of Buck’s resulting screams would haunt Eddie for the rest of his life.

Hang on, Buck.” He patted Buck’s cheek panickedly, when his eyes fluttered closed as the truck was set back down.

She's too heavy.” Bobby sounded like he was on the verge of crying, defeat clear in his voice. Eddie’s head snapped back up with a snarl. They were not giving up. Not now. Not ever.

“We got anything on the truck we can use for leverage?”

“No. We need more people.”

“I'll radio again. Dispatch, this is the Cap- '' Chim abruptly stopped talking as his eyes widened. Eddie curled protectively over Buck even as his eyes swung round, searching for the threat. Instead of another bomber or worse, he was met with the sight of members of the public rushing over to help. Tears welled in his eyes as he watched them all hurriedly get a hold on the truck.

“It’ll be okay, cariño; help’s coming,” He murmured into Buck’s ear even though the cat was barely conscious and probably couldn’t understand the words.

Finally, finally, the truck was lifted high enough for Eddie to yank Buck out from underneath it. He wanted nothing more than to gather him into his arms and hold on tight but, now that the pressure had been relieved, he could hear Buck’s breath’s slowing and his heart thumping weakly. “Stay with me, Buck. Just a little longer. Please. Please, stay.”

They quickly got him into the back of the ambulance, Eddie climbing in beside him, never letting go of his hand. He settled himself at the top of the gurney so that he could keep the contact but stay out of Hen’s way. As Hen riffled through various drawers, leaving medical supplies strewn about in the small space, Eddie stroked Buck’s hair back from his forehead, alternating between murmured reassurances and whispered pleas. Hen’s movements stilled as she seemed to realise there was nothing more they could do for him and instead began watching his vitals like a hawk, her face getting grimmer and grimmer as they deteriorated.

“Hang in there, Buckeroo; we’re almost there. Hospital's four minutes away, okay? Come on.”

“Stay with us, cariño.” But Buck didn’t listen.

Hen cursed loudly as she jumped forward to begin compressions. Eddie scrambled for a resus bag. “Don’t you dare!” He growled at him. “Don’t even think about it, Evan Buckley. You are not leaving us, not now. You promised! You promised Chris you would stay so damn well stay, you hear me?” Eddie was practically roaring at him by the time the ambulance stopped and the doors were flung open. Neither he nor Hen stopped what they were doing.

Just as the trauma team started edging in with compassionate eyes there was the blessed sound of the heart rate monitor beeping. The trauma team quickly got the gurney out and ran with it through the hospital. Eddie kept pace with them until a nurse stood in his way, holding her arms up to stop him dodging around her. It took every bit of strength Eddie had to let go of Buck’s hand and allow the doctors to wheel him away. As soon as the doors closed behind them, cutting off his view of Buck, it felt as though all of his strings had been cut.

Several pairs of arms wrapped around his torso and arms, pulling him back to the waiting room and pushing him into a chair. Eddie let himself keep falling until he was folded over his legs. His shoulders shook but his eyes were painfully dry. Buck’s screams were bouncing around his head. A hand started rubbing his back and he wanted to cringe away. It wasn’t the touch he needed, the touch he craved. “He’ll be okay, Eddie; he’s a fighter.”

Eddie held onto that sentiment for the next few hours as the whole team, and most of their families, waited impatiently, taking up half the waiting room. Surprisingly, Maddie came to sit next to him at some point and held his hand. He didn’t know whether it was the fact that he knew that if anyone was hurting as much as him it was Maddie or maybe it was just that she was the closest he could get to the Buckley he wanted, but the contact did give him a small amount of comfort. It was enough to keep him still and not pace the room as Chim had been doing, on and off, the entire time.

He only ducked out long enough to call Carla to ask her to stay with Christopher and make sure he was kept him away from the news. She’d promised to let Abuela and Pepa know so they could organise between themselves, allowing Eddie to stay as long as he needed. If it were up to him Eddie wouldn’t be leaving until Buck could leave with him. And Buck would be leaving with him. Eddie refused to consider any other outcome.

They weren’t given any news for eight hours. They were some of the most excruciating hours Eddie had ever been through. All he could think about were the sounds of Buck screams and the flatline of his heart.

When a doctor finally called out “Family of Evan Buckley” Eddie was sure he was dreaming. Except Maddie was dragging him up and over to the woman.

“That’s us; how is he?” The doctor gave them a kind smile and Eddie’s stiff posture relaxed ever so slightly. She wouldn’t be smiling like that if he was- if the worst had happened.

“Mr Buckley’s accelerated healing meant that the bones had already started to knit together when we began the surgery. Unfortunately, the bones were misaligned and so we had to reset them. It does appear that, due to the nature of the injury, the bones are attempting to return to that misalignment so we have had to install a rod and some screws. We’re not sure how Mr Buckley’s nature will react to the foreign objects and how successful they will be in keeping his bones in the correct position but we are hopeful that it will work and that Mr Buckley will be able to make a full recovery.” Eddie’s breath left him in a rush and he suddenly felt lightheaded with relief.

“He’s okay? He’s going to be okay?” He coughed the question out of his dry throat, desperate for a clear and definite answer.

“He’s okay. We will be keeping him here whilst his body adjusts so that we can keep a close eye on him but, all in all, Mr Buckley has been extremely lucky.”

“Oh thank God!” Maddie exclaimed as she threw her arms around him and started to weep. Eddie wasn’t far off joining her, tears welling in his eyes.

“When-When can we see him?” Eddie asked over Maddie’s shoulder, the question making her pull back.

“We’re just getting him settled into a room; a nurse will come and get you as soon as he’s ready. He is heavily sedated so it will be a while before he wakes up and he’s likely to be drowsy when he does. Also,” She peered around them, no doubt eyeing everyone else who had been listening raptly. “Only a few of you at a time. Visiting hours don’t start for another couple of hours but given the circumstances I will allow you to stay with Mr Buckley so long as you are mindful of our other patients.”

“Of course, thank you, Doctor.” Eddie quickly shook the doctor's hand before he and Maddie returned to their seats to wait for the nurse.

Chapter 26

Summary:

Buck wakes up and begins his recovery

Chapter Text

The first thing Buck was aware of was a heaviness weighing him down. For a moment, panic surged through him but, as he became more aware, he could feel a gentle grip on his hand and an ache in his leg but nothing felt like it was pressing against him. He floated there peacefully for what could have been hours, basking in the knowledge that he wasn’t alone in his dreams.

And then an incessant beeping began piercing the fog in his mind. A sharp pain in his leg had him blearily opening his eyes, too heavy to do more than twitch at the uncomfortable sensation. The world around him was an incomprehensible bright blur. Sluggishly blinking, Buck attempted to bring his surroundings into focus until he finally worked out that he was in a hospital room.

He had forgotten about the hand in his until it flinched. Somehow he managed to roll his head enough to the side to see that it was Eddie’s. The wolf was sitting on a chair beside Buck’s bed but his head was resting on the mattress beside Buck’s hip and his hand was curled firmly around Buck’s. He smiled slightly when he saw that Eddie was fast asleep but it faded as he took in the dark circles under his eyes and the sad frown pulling at the corners of his mouth. He wanted to move his free hand to comb through Eddie’s dishevelled hair but the limb was entirely uncooperative. Dissatisfied, he settled for clumsily rubbing his thumb over the back of Eddie’s hand.

Slowly, Eddie’s body seemed to slump further, relaxing as he slept easier. Buck closed his eyes briefly as sleep called for him again.

When he blinked them back open he knew he must have fallen asleep as his hand and the chair beside the bed were now empty. Caught in the vestiges of sleep, he thought maybe that had been a part of the dream as well. The door opened before the idea could solidify in Buck’s mind and was completely derailed by Eddie shuffling into the room. Buck greedily looked him over as if the momentary absence of him had left him completely bereft. Though he looked more worse for wear than he had before, he was still one of the most beautiful things Buck thought he’d ever seen. He tried to inhale deeply, searching for his scent but the typical antiseptic hospital smell was too overwhelming to catch it properly.

The wolf didn’t appear to notice that Buck was awake as he slouched back against the door, his head hanging low, letting loose a deep, heavy sigh. As he slowly lifted his head, Buck caught sight of the grimace painted across it and immediately began to frown. What had happened? And how could Buck fix it?

“Edd-,” Buck tried to call out but his throat was unbelievably dry and he coughed before he could finish his name. Eddie’s eyes widened before he was rushing to Buck’s side. A straw was placed between Buck’s lips as his coughing subsided.

“Small sips.” Buck obediently drank, pulling away as soon as the dry tickle had gone.

“You-you’re here.” Eddie pulled back with another frown.

“Of course I'm here. I’m sorry I wasn’t when you woke up but I-”

“You were.”

“What?” Buck smiled when Eddie tipped his head to the side in confusion.

“I woke up earlier. You were asleep but you looked upset.” He glowered when he saw there were still dark circles under Eddie’s eyes. “What’s wrong? You look tired.” Rather than answer Eddie glanced towards Buck’s leg, biting his lip as if he were nervous.

Buck looked at his leg then; he’d been avoiding it since he woke up since he could feel the uncomfortable ache that the painkillers were only barely muffling. It was in a giant cast from toe to just above his knee. His breathing picked up the longer Eddie remained silent. “My leg…Is it- Did they say-” Eddie’s head whipped back around and he placed a reassuring hand on the crook of Buck’s neck.

“You’re okay, Buck. It’s gonna be okay. All right, all right. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay.”

“Did you speak to the doctor? What happened?”

“Easy, Buck. They had to perform surgery and put in a couple of screws and a rod.” Buck’s panic began to rise faster. Surgery? Screws? God, how bad was it? “It’s temporary, just while you’re healing; you’re going to be fine, Buck. You’ll walk again.”

“I’ll walk again? What about work? Did they-”

“Shh, cariño.” Eddie brought a hand up to brush it through Buck’s hair and the sensation managed to calm Buck enough to quiet the screeching machine hooked up to him. “They can’t say anything for sure but they don’t know you. You’re a fighter, Evan, and if anyone can walk away from being crushed by a ladder truck it’s gonna be you.” Eddie ducked his head and stared intently into Buck’s eyes until Buck could do nothing but begin to believe him. “And for right now let's just take this moment and be glad that you're alive.” Buck sniffled back his tears but gave a jerky nod. Eddie was right; he’d be damned if he let a little crush injury stop him from being a firefighter. “Okay, good.”

Eddie kept up his ministrations for a minute but then he was looking at Buck’s hair with a soft smile, watching his hand comb through it. “What?” His eyes flicked to Buck’s but quickly went back to his hair, his smile growing.

“Your hair’s all fluffy.” Buck promptly scowled and moved to bat at Eddie’s hand but was hampered by the IV in the back of his hand.

“You don’t get to enjoy my fluffy hair if you’re gonna make fun of it,” he groused but was secretly pleased that Eddie looked lighter now. When Eddie laughed it was impossible for Buck to hold onto his scowl. Maddie found them like that: Eddie laughing, with a hand in Buck’s hair, and Buck grinning up at him like an idiot.

Over the next week Buck was confined to his hospital bed, made bearable only by his constant stream of visitors. If it hadn’t been for his team and their families keeping him company Buck was sure he’d have staged an escape already. As it was, he had made an attempt this morning- surely a week was more than enough time to be stuck here- only for it to be foiled by Carla of all people. All she had to do was raise a stern eyebrow and Buck was slumping back into the scratchy sheets with a pout.

“Mmhm, that’s what I thought, Evan Buckley. Now, If you can be good for a couple more hours I might be able to convince the doctor to release you into our custody.” Buck was beaming before she’d finished with a wag of her finger.

“Yes! Promise, Carla, please just get me out of here; I’m bored out of my mind.” She chuckled even as she shook her head at him.

Thankfully, Carla did manage to pull some strings and before he knew it she was signing his discharge papers and manhandling him into a wheelchair. It was awful being wheeled through the lobby with everyone seeming to turn and stare at him. His skin felt itchy and he fidgeted in the seat. Before he could even think about getting out, Carla’s hand was clamped down on his shoulder. “Don’t even think about it, Buckaroo.” He settled back down obediently but ducked his head away from the stares. “Easy, we’re almost through.”

Buck didn’t look up again until Carla was stopping them and coming around to pass him his crutches. Excited as he was to finally be outside it took him longer than it should to notice Eddie stood by his truck, holding the passenger door open.

“Eddie! What are you doing here? I thought you were on shift.” The wolf rolled his eyes but grinned as he watched Buck wobble towards him, Carla’s hand hovering lightly on his back undoubtedly primed to catch him.

“Well someone needed to help Carla make sure you didn’t try and run out of the hospital. Honestly, Buck, how far did you think you were gonna get this morning?” Buck’s cheeks flushed but he grinned cheekily anyway.

“Anywhere was better than having to stay in that bed a second longer.” Eddie and Carla snorted.

“You say that now but I think you’ll change your mind once you’re stuck on my couch all day instead.” That made him pause just as he handed Carla his crutches. Eddie’s arm came around him, steadying him before Buck could do more than tilt slightly.

“Your couch?” A hand hooked under his good thigh and then he was bodily lifted into the seat, all without so much as a bump to his casted leg. If the move hadn’t taken Buck by surprise he would have been thoroughly impressed. Instead he let out a very undignified squeak, causing Eddie to smirk. The wolf’s hand stayed on his thigh as he responded to Buck’s question.

“It’s my place or Maddie’s and I’m pretty sure getting up from an air mattress is not going to happen for you right now.”

Bemused, Buck asked, “so I’m going to sleep on your lumpy couch instead?” Eddie snorted again as he stepped back and slammed the door closed. He took a moment to speak to Carla and then hopped up into the driver’s seat.

“You’re not sleeping on my couch, Buck. I figure I can’t make you stay in bed 24/7, so you’ll have to put up with being on it all day.” Buck frowned over at Eddie. “If you want to stay in bed though I am more than-”

“I’m not taking your bed from you.”

“You’re not sleeping on the couch.”

“I can-” Eddie suddenly reached over, placing his hand on his thigh, just above his cast.

“Buck.” That was all it took. One word said with such fond exasperation and Buck folded like a wet towel. He sighed deeply.

“Let’s talk about it later.” Eddie grinned triumphantly, just as aware as Buck that he had won the argument already. Buck resolved to put up a better fight when he wasn’t high on painkillers.

When they pulled up outside Eddie’s place, he had to wait for Eddie to jump out and round the truck but, thankfully, he did let Buck get over the threshold under his own steam. Buck was herded to the couch, annoyed when the journey left him panting and shaky. Seeing his scowl, Eddie crouched in front of him with a soft quirk to his lips.

“Hey, it’s going to take time to get back to your usual bouncing; give yourself a break, huh?” The compassion and absolute understanding in Eddie’s warm brown eyes had tears tingling in the back of Buck’s. He tried to disguise his sniffle as a noise of offence.

“I don’t bounce, Diaz.” Eddie’s answering grin was quick and wide.

“Sure you don’t, Buckley.” He patted Buck’s knee twice before rising and heading for the kitchen. Buck’s suspicions were raised when he heard rustling and the fridge opening and closing.

“You better not be cooking!” There was a scoff followed by Eddie appearing in the doorway, lifting a tupperware for Buck to see.

“I’m not cooking; I’m just heating up some leftovers Abuela made for us. That alright with you?”

“Did she give you instructions for heating it up?” With a world weary sigh Eddie lifted up a bit of paper.

Yes. Do you want her famous enchiladas or not, Evan?” Buck was surprised by how good it felt to hear his name coming from Eddie’s lips.

“So long as you don’t set anything on fire, Edmundo, I would love some.”

“It was one time!”

“One time too many! And in case you forgot I can’t exactly run to your rescue.”

“I don’t need rescuing.”

“Uh huh.”

“You know, I don’t think you deserve Abuela’s food any more.”

“Hey! You can’t withhold the goods from me.”

“The way I see it, Buckaroo, you can’t exactly stop me.” Huffing, Buck crossed his arm and pouted. Eddie threw his head back and laughed. “Alright fine, if it’ll stop you pouting I guess I can let you have some.” Buck grinned as Eddie disappeared back into the kitchen.

After they’d eaten Buck could feel himself drifting off. He heard a low chuckle beside him when he jerked his head back up and then a hand hooked around the back of his neck and pulled him sideways. The scent of Eddie rushed up his nose as his head came to rest on the wolf’s shoulder and Buck was helpless against the quiet happy purr rumbling in his chest.

“Sleep, Buck; Chris will be waking you back up in no time.” Humming contentedly, Buck closed his eyes and rubbed his face against the cotton of Eddie’s shirt as he allowed sleep to claim him. The last thing he was aware of was calloused fingers trailing patterns along his nape.

“Buck!” The excited cry jolted Buck out of his nap and was quickly followed up by a hiss.

“Chris! Buck’s sleeping.” Buck rubbed his face against his pillow, which was, for some reason, way more solid and smelled much more strongly of Eddie than usual. He buried his face against it with a frown.

“‘M ‘wake.” His pillow rose and fell at the same time he heard a deep sigh. Fingers brushed through his hair and came to rest against the back of his neck, fingertips laying under the collar of his shirt.

“See, Dad! Bucky, I missed you.” Lethargically, Buck turned his head to the side and blinked his eyes open to see Chris stood beside his bed with a wide smile.

“Missed you too, buddy.” The boy beamed.

“You’re sleeping on Dad!” Buck closed his eyes and hummed his agreement before the words registered. His eyes snapped open. No wonder his pillow didn’t feel right.

“Uh…” He felt Eddie snort below him but he tightened his grip on the back of Buck’s neck when Buck started to shuffle off of him.

“You’ll fall off if you try that. Relax.”

“Well don’t you two look comfy.”

Carla’s amused voice had Buck lifting his head enough to see both her and Eddie. Carla’s eyes were dancing but Eddie’s were gentle, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. The dark circles under his eyes were lighter as well. Buck hoped he’d managed to get some sleep even with Buck sprawled all over him.

He wasn’t sure if he fell back asleep, with his eyes open, for a second or if he was just that lost in the warm depths of Eddie’s tender gaze but suddenly Carla was crouching beside them and Chris was nowhere to be seen.

“Come on, Buckaroo, let’s see if we can’t get you situated so you can eat and take some of your painkillers.” It took the effort of all three of them to get Buck off of Eddie and upright again.

“You cooking?” Buck muttered as he tried to catch his breath. Now that he wasn’t lying on his incredibly comfortable best friend, all the aches and pains in his body were making themselves known. Eddie disappeared with a half-hearted grumble but quickly returned with a glass of water and two pills in his hand. Carla laughed and winked at him.

“Of course, honey; I wouldn’t subject you to Eddie’s idea of cooking.” The wolf rolled his eyes and took hold of Buck’s hand to transfer the meds when he wasn’t quick enough to take them himself.

“I can cook.”

“Sure you can but let’s err on the side of caution, eh? Don’t want to send our Buckaroo here back to the hospital so soon.”

“Don’t want to send me back to the hospital at all, thanks,” Buck muttered before swallowing the pills down with a grimace. Eddie snorted but squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

Carla went to the kitchen as Eddie sat back down next to Buck, their shoulders pressed together despite there being plenty of room on the couch. Chris came barrelling back in with his school books clutched in his hand, making a beeline for them, before Buck could try and apologise for falling asleep on the wolf.

“Buck, can you help me with science?”

“Mijo, Buck’s still-” Buck put his hand on Eddie’s knee and squeezed gently.

“S’okay, Eds,” he murmured quietly before grinning brightly at the boy. “‘Course I can, Superman. What are we doing today?” Christopher smiled widely before considering their position. Deciding quickly, he threw the books down on the coffee table and started to crawl under Buck’s leg where it was propped up on it. Laughing, Buck went to lift his leg up to give him more room but was immediately stopped by Eddie’s firm hand on his thigh.

“Don’t even think about it,” he said sternly. “He can work around you.” Buck rolled his eyes as he settled back into the couch with a raised eyebrow. Eddie smirked. “Much better.” He laughed again but turned his focus back to the boy as he started explaining what he was meant to be doing.

By the time they’d finished Chris’ homework and had eaten the delicious pasta made entirely by Carla (Eddie had been banned from the kitchen when he went to ‘help’ her and had somehow butchered the mushrooms beyond repair instead) Buck was ready for bed already. He valiantly fought his drooping eyelids as he, Chris, and Eddie curled up on the couch to watch a movie but, when Chris’ body grew heavy against him, he lost the battle.

The next time he opened his eyes, Eddie was crouching in front of him; the room was dark; and Christopher was gone from his side. “Eds?”

“Yeah, come on; it’s bedtime.” Buck closed his eyes again.

“Mm, Chris?”

“Already put him to bed. It’s your turn, let’s go.” Buck nodded and attempted to swing himself sideways to lay down. There was a snort and a soft laugh.

“Buck. You are not sleeping on my couch. Come on, man.” He was suddenly tugged upright.

“Tired,” Buck whined.

“I know, cariño, but there’s no good way to carry you. Just lean on me. I’ve got you.”

As they staggered in the direction of Eddie’s bedroom, Buck laid his head on Eddie’s shoulder. All of his energy was being spent on trying to help Eddie get him down the hall so he just didn’t have enough to keep his head up too. “Almost there; you’re doing great. Here we go.” He was gently lowered down to the bed and he continued the movement by flopping onto his side. His legs were lifted carefully and then the covers were pulled up and tucked around him.

“Eds?”

“What is it? What do you need?” A hand rubbed down his arm and Buck purred slightly.

“Stay?” Eddie sighed and if Buck had been more awake he might have immediately backtracked. Luckily, before the sound could do more than echo in his exhausted mind, Eddie was climbing in next to him.

As he was on the verge of sleep, he thought he heard Eddie murmur “always” but Buck was already slipping into the darkness.

Chapter 27

Summary:

Introducing Mr and Mrs Diaz

Notes:

In lieu of uploading last week can I offer you a slightly longer than normal chapter instead? 👉👈

Chapter Text

Eddie stared between the calendar and his phone as if the answer would change the more he looked. Admitting defeat, he cursed. “Eddie?” He cursed again when Buck called from the living room. Reluctantly, he went to see him.

Buck took one look at his face and frowned, shifting on the couch as if to get up. “What’s wrong?” Eddie held his hand up as he quickly went to sit next to him.

“It’s- Nothing’s wrong…per se.”

“Not really filling me with confidence here, Eds.” He huffed amusedly, his hands automatically fussing with the pillows that Buck had disturbed.

Buck had been staying at his house for almost a week and, though Eddie wished it wasn’t because of Buck being hurt, he’d enjoyed every minute of it. Even having to wrestle a grumbling Buck to his bed every night. There was something about having the cat constantly in their space that put Eddie at ease.

He loved having someone to come home to and talk through his day with. And even though Buck couldn’t really help around the house he had taken to helping Chris with his homework and took on any chore that he could get away with. Not that Eddie, Carla, or Chris let him get away with much; mostly he was allowed to fold the laundry. But it was the simple pleasure of having another person around to keep him company and someone to help entertain Chris.

Before the bombing Buck had been around a lot of the time anyway but it had felt different with him staying on the couch and constantly coming and going. Eddie just always got the impression that Buck had one foot out the door. So, having days on end of coming home to him? It was a novelty that Eddie never wanted to lose. Realistically he knew Buck would heal eventually and move out; the cat had been looking for his own place even before Shannon had left and he’d practically moved in to stop Eddie’s inevitable break down. But if he wanted to live in denial until then, that was his business. He may also perversely enjoy being the one to look after Buck for once.

“Eddie, quit fussing, tell me what’s going on.” Eddie sighed.

“My parents are coming.” Buck cocked his head, scrunching his nose adorably. Dios, Eddie wanted to kiss him senseless.

“And that’s…bad?”

“It could be. We don’t always see eye to eye, to put it lightly.”

“Are they staying here? Do you need me to leave?” Eddie’s eyes widened and his hand latched on to Buck’s leg subconsciously.

“No! Dios, Buck, of course not! You’re staying however long you want.” He thought Buck looked relieved, offering him a small smile.

“Okay, so?” Eddie scrubbed a hand down his face with a groan.

“They’re technically coming for my shield ceremony but Abuela let slip about Shannon so they’ve decided they’re going to stay longer to ‘help out’. Which really means they’re just going to criticise everything about my life and my choices and since you’re here they’re probably going to criticise you too.” Eddie rushed the words out, avoiding Buck’s eyes.

“Eddie, I don’t see what choices you’ve made that they could criticise. You’re a great dad and you and Chris have a great life here. I know the whole Shannon situation is rough but that’s not your fault, Eds; we’ve talked about this.” A lump formed in Eddie’s throat and his answering smile was more than a little wobbly.

“Thanks, Buck. That means a lot. But, uh…you don’t know my parents.” He saw Buck’s doubtful look and his shoulders slumped as he admitted what had happened when he made the decision to move Chris out here.

“They, um, when I told them Chris and I were moving out here, they tried to get me to leave Chris with them. Told me that I would only bring him down.” He lowered his eyes shamefully.

“That’s bullshit.” Buck spoke through gritted teeth and when Eddie looked back up he saw his eyes were a glowing ethereal blue. A rumble started up in Buck’s chest and Eddie felt the urge to bodily rub against him until the cat calmed but he reined his instinct back. Instead, he began lightly petting Buck’s arm.

“You have to stay calm, Buck; you know you can’t shift.”

“How dare they say that shit to you! Seriously, Eds, what the actual fuck?” Watching his friend get more and more worked up on his behalf had Eddie’s heart beating wildly and he knew he was smiling far too widely for the situation but he couldn’t stop.

When Buck’s rumbling started sounding more like a snarl, however, Eddie leant in close and cupped the back of Buck’s neck to rub his fingers against the skin there. The gesture always seemed to calm Buck and even now he could see him winding down, if only slightly.

“Cariño, It’s just how they are; it’s okay.” Buck calmed down enough that there was only a slight glow to his eyes but he was now scowling at Eddie.

“No part of that is okay, Eddie. You know that right?”

“I…I mean they’re not exactly wrong; I was struggling before we moved and then I struggled when we got here. If it hadn’t been for you and Carla I don’t know how we’d have made it.” Eddie picked at his nails until his hands were suddenly engulfed by Buck’s.

“No, Eddie. Maybe things were a bit messy but you were there for him. You loved him. You tried, always. That’s the only thing that matters. Sure Carla sped things up but you would have figured it out without her.” Eddie shrugged noncommittally. “Eddie, hey.” One of Buck’s hands left Eddie’s to curl under his chin. Eddie’s mouth went bone dry as Buck gently tilted his head back up until their eyes met. The stunning blue eyes were determined yet so, so gentle and Eddie felt his eyes tingle in response. He couldn’t remember anyone handling him with as much care as Buck did.

“You are an amazing dad, Edmundo Diaz, and I will fight anyone who says otherwise, you hear me?” A reluctant grin formed on his mouth.

“You’re not exactly in the best condition to go fighting anyone right now, Buck.”

“Oh I’d find a way; don’t you worry.” The tension was broken as Eddie first snorted and then dissolved into laughter. “I’m serious; us Buckley’s are resourceful!” Eddie only laughed harder. Buck shoved him half heartedly but Eddie leaned in closer until he was resting his head on Buck’s shoulder as his amusement subsided. The cat let him with barely a huff of annoyance.

“Hopefully they won’t do anything that will make you throw down for me then.”

“They better not,” Buck muttered. Eddie sat back up to place his hand on Buck’s shoulder, his thumb tucked under Buck’s shirt to lay against his collarbone. Eddie welcomed the electric feel of the skin to skin contact.

“If they say shit to you, you tell me okay? I don’t foresee you being left alone with them but if they say anything…” Buck tilted his head at him curiously.

“You think they’ll have a problem with me being a cat? Or me being bitten?”

“They’ll have a problem with you being a shifter.” Buck frowned in confusion and Eddie nibbled on his lip anxiously as he averted his eyes again. “They, um, they don’t like shifters very much,” he explained quietly to the unasked question.

“But…aren’t they… um.” He sighed heavily and took his hand from Buck to rub at the back of his neck.

“My, uh, my mum is a shifter but my dad’s human. He… he always had a problem with it but said that my mum… wasn’t much of a shifter…and he loved her enough to ignore it? It’s, um, it’s this whole thing.”

“So… I’m assuming he didn’t like that you’re a shifter then?” Eddie laughed humorlessly.

“Yeah, you could say that. My older sister, Adrianna, can’t shift and my younger sister, Sophia, is human. When I shifted the first time he was…less than impressed. Any talk of anything shifter related was… not encouraged.” There was a long stretch of silence as Buck seemed to absorb that. Cowardly, Eddie didn’t look at him to see his reaction but he could smell the overwhelming saltiness in his scent.

“Jesus, Eddie, that’s… that’s fucking awful. You didn’t deserve that; there’s nothing wrong with the way you are.” Eddie swallowed heavily.

“Yeah, I, um, I’m working on it. It was hard growing up with that and then Shannon was kind of the same. Think she cried tears of relief when Chris was born human,” Eddie said bitterly. “And then in the army they seemed to love that I was a shifter so the culture shock of that was weird, you know? But they were just using me for my abilities. And then I come here and it’s like… no one cares. Like, obviously I use my abilities for work but even then it’s not the same.”

“We love you for you, Eddie. Shifter or not it doesn’t matter to us.” He finally met Buck’s eyes again with a weak smile.

“I know. And I’m working on accepting that but it’s…hard.” Buck nodded in understanding.

“You have the entire 118 to remind you whenever you forget, Eds.” Eddie’s smile was stronger as he replied sincerely.

“I know. Thank you.”

“No thanks needed. And I can handle whatever your parents say to me, okay? Don’t worry about any of it; you should just be celebrating no longer being a probie.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“I was hardly a probie, Buck.”

“You were in your probationary period; makes you a probie.”

“Sure, whatever you say.” They grinned at each other until Buck grabbed the remote and unpaused whatever documentary he’d been in the middle of watching.

“Glad that’s sorted. Now let me introduce you to the wonderful work of David Attenborough.” Eddie sighed as if it was the greatest hardship to curl up on the sofa next to his best friend who’s scent had returned to its usual happy sunshine. Judging from Buck’s smirk, Eddie didn’t think his performance had been all that convincing.

Eddie tugged on his tie with a grimace before smoothing his uniform down as he checked it for the millionth time. He really wished Buck could be there to help convince him that he looked fine but his leg had been aching since yesterday and Eddie had refused to let him come considering the painful grimace Buck hadn’t been able to keep off of his face.That didn’t mean Eddie wasn’t regretting it now but he never wanted Buck to be in pain, let alone not for him. Eddie was pretty sure he regretted not staying home with him more than he regretted not bringing him to the station with him anyway.

Before he could undo his tie to redo it - again - Cap was clearing his throat from the doorway. “You look great, Eddie. You ready?” Eddie sighed, giving himself one last look over in the mirror before nodding determinedly. Cap grinned as he waited for Eddie to pass him before ushering him down to the truck bay. The truck bay currently filled with friends, family and everything in between. He barely held back a groan at the thought.

Cap took his spot by the podium, glancing over at Eddie reassuringly before getting the attention of everyone in the room. “People assume we choose this life. I'm not so sure. Sometimes I think this life chooses us. For those that answer the call, there can be no doubt, no equivocation. It's not just the lives of those we serve that depend on us, but our own. The lives of our fellow firefighters and first responders. Today we welcome into those ranks a new brother. After a year of hard work and dedication, I am proud to officially declare that your probationary period is at an end. Welcome to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Firefighter Diaz.” Eddie tried not to show how choked up he was suddenly feeling.

“Thank you, sir,” he said gruffly. The crowd applauded loudly before Eddie could pick out the tell-tale sound of his son making his way determinedly towards him. The lump in his throat expanded exponentially as he watched Christopher slowly amble towards him, beaming the whole way. He crouched to meet him. “What do you got for me, son?” Chris offered out his helmet with a wide grin.

“I got your helmet.”

“Yeah, my helmet?” Eddie scooped him up and perched him on his hip as his son haphazardly put his helmet on his head.

Congratulations, Dad.” Eddie cuddled him close, nuzzling into his hair to inhale his sweet scent.

Thank you so much, Christopher.”

After that it was a whirl of people coming up to congratulate him, including his mum and dad who’s smiles were tense but they still offered their own congratulations albeit begrudgingly. His sisters were much more enthusiastic with theirs. Pepa approached him with a proud smile and a kiss on the cheek.

“Congratulations, Edmundo.”

“Gracias, Pepa. For everything you’ve done for Christopher and I as well.” As stoic as his aunt was, her eyes were a bit bright as she replied.

“De nada. Make sure you go find your Abuela, hmm?”

“Of course, tía.”

Once the crowd had thinned a bit, everyone finally leaving him alone in favour of digging into the spread Cap had prepared, Eddie craned his neck to find his Abuela. He finally spotted her laughing at a table in the corner. As he drew closer he flicked his eyes over the rest of the table and almost face planted as he tripped. Because opposite his Abuela sat Buck with Chris on his lap.

He rushed the last few feet. “Buck?” The cat tipped his head back with a grin.

“Hey! Congrats, man. I’d get up to hug you but Abuela will curse at me again.” Eddie blinked, looking over at the woman who was smiling fondly at Buck. He diverted quickly to kiss her cheek before dropping down in the seat next to his best friend.

“You shouldn’t even be here, Buck; I left you at home for a reason.” He raised an eyebrow at Buck’s impish grin and shrug.

“I wasn’t going to miss this.” Eddie sighed but put a grateful hand on Buck’s shoulder.

“Thank you.” Buck leant closer to give him a half hug, careful not to unbalance Chris as he happily shovelled cake into his mouth.

“You’re welcome, Eddie.” Eddie pulled back so Buck could see his stern expression even though he was fighting a giddy smile that wanted to surface.

But I will be telling you ‘I told you so’ when you’re hurting later.” The cat threw his head back as he laughed loudly and Eddie lost the fight against the smile.

It was at that moment that his parents found him again, followed closely by a scowling Pepa. They sat down next to Abuela whilst Pepa took the seat beside him. He watched with dread as his father narrowed his eyes at Buck. As if sensing the ire building, Buck leant down to whisper in Chris’ ear, quiet enough that Ramon wouldn’t hear it.

“Why don’t you go find Harry and Denny to run off all this sugar, Superman?” The boy perked up at the mention of his friends and immediately wiggled off of Buck’s lap.

“Okay, Buck, see you later!” A nervous look flashed across Helena’s face as she began to rise, from her seat, undoubtedly to hover over him.

“He’s fine, mum.” Eddie said preemptively. It earned him a scowl from both of his parents.

“He needs to be careful, Eddie; you should be watching him better.”

“Eddie watches him plenty. Christopher doesn’t need someone hovering over him.” The snappish remark surprisingly came from Buck, quicker even than Pepa’s defence which followed close behind.

“Christopher is more than capable of going to play with his friends by himself.” His parents ignored his aunt, focusing entirely on his best friend.

Eddie’s skin itched with the desire to find a way to get Buck out of the line of fire but knew there was nothing he could do short of driving him home. And he was pretty sure Buck wouldn’t be onboard with running away. He put a hand on Buck’s thigh under the table in hopes that he could keep the cat calm at least.

“And who are you?” Ramon sneered.

“He’s mine and Christopher’s best friend,” Eddie replied firmly.

At the same time Abuela declared, “He’s family.” Ramon scoffed and Eddie felt Buck tense under his hand.

The table was quiet for a moment until Helena tried to offer an olive branch. “Christopher is growing up way too fast.” Eddie gave her a wane smile but he heard the accusing undertone.

“Yep. Best kid I know.”

“Such a happy boy, too; you’ve done so well with him, Edmundo.” Abuela added. Buck relaxed again and Eddie glanced over to witness the quiet but oh so fond smile gracing his lips.

“We raised him for the first few years of his life, Mama, before Eddie took him away.” His father’s bitter remark had Eddie swinging his head back around.

“Shannon raised him,” he argued.

“Pfft, that woman? She couldn’t do anything right, she didn’t even try. Even now she just runs out on him.”

“Ramon.” Abuela scolded.

“Papi, we're not doing this.” His father glared stubbornly.

“This is a celebration for your son.” Buck reprimanded and Eddie was sure it was only the reminder that they were surrounded by strangers that had his father backing down.

“I apologise.”

His mother tried a different tact. “Look, honey, we’re very proud that you’ve got your shield now. But you’re a single father, okay, and the hours you work, Eddie... Come home.”. He knew he should be shocked that they would try this again with him, now of all times, but he couldn’t bring himself to be all that surprised.

“To El Paso?”

“Texas has fires, too. You could join a department there.” Ramon pointed out as if that was the only thing that mattered.

“Dad. It's not that simple. I'm only just out of my probationary period. You want me to just throw away the last year of my life? Right. Is that why you all flew out here, huh?” He crossed his arms defensively, working his jaw as he tried not to yell at them. He was so tired of having the same argument over and over again. “Not for my ceremony, but to bring us back, was that the plan?” Helena nodded sharply.

“Yes, and we could help you. Christopher would be close to family and you could have a life there.”

“We have a life here and family.”

“Thank you, Eddie. We are sitting right here.” Pepa’s tone was dark and anyone worth their salt would have backed down just hearing it. Eddie watched his mother glance at her, clearly trying to not show how intimidated she was by her sister-in-law.

“I won't uproot him again.”

“Christopher hasn't been here long enough to put down roots... he spent the first six years of his life in El Paso, with us.” Eddie knew better than to argue Christopher’s early years with his parents; too scared that his parents were right. But he would argue until his last breath for Christopher now.

“Being with me is what's best for Christopher. I chose this life for a reason.”

“You can choose another one.”

We don’t want another one,” Eddie stated vehemently, leaning forward. Ramon’s eyes flickered with something but it was gone too quickly for Eddie to determine what it was. He then looked at Buck purposefully.

“Because of him?” The words were so venomous Eddie wished there was a way to shield Bcuk from them.

“Because the life we’ve built here is the life we want.”

“Why would you want to spend time around a cat shifter anyway, Edmundo?” His mother said disdainfully, wrinkling her nose as if there was a bad smell.

“He’s a shifter?” Ramon asked harshly, an angry flush spreading on his face.

“Yes, he is,” Buck’s voice was light, as if the hatred being aimed his way didn’t affect him, but Eddie knew him well enough to hear the steel underneath.

“How could you let Christopher be around this animal?” His father demanded. Abuela and Pepa both snapped at him but Eddie glared into his eyes.

“By that logic he shouldn’t be around me or Adrianna or mum either then,” he hissed at him. “How does that work with your plan for raising him?”

“Your mother controls herself, unlike you. And your sister is not an animal, thank the lord for that.”

“Just because she can’t shift doesn’t make her any less wolf.”

“You’re wrong.”

“How would you know? You’re just a human.”

He knew the look in his eyes was contemptuous at best but he refused to cower when his father was verbally attacking Buck. Maybe in the past he hadn’t stood up for Shannon, or himself, or even Chris enough; too filled by his own doubts, but he’d be damned if he sat here and allowed his father to disparage his family right in front of him.

“Edmun-” Whatever his mother had planned to say was interrupted by the arrival of his Captain. Athena stood right next to him with a formidable glare that Eddie would be eternally grateful that he wasn’t on the receiving end of.

“I think it best you left, Mr and Mrs Diaz.” His parents puffed up in offence.

“You can’t ask us to leave our own son’s ceremony!”

“As the Captain of this firehouse I am well within my rights to request that you leave the premises.”

“And I suggest you heed that request before I call for backup and have you escorted off in handcuffs.” Athena toyed with the cuffs on her belt deliberately.

His parents seemed to know they were beaten, getting up quickly, but Ramon couldn’t help a parting shot. “This isn’t over, Edmundo,” he threatened. Buck snarled in response and Eddie immediately put a restraining hand on his bicep to keep him seated. He didn’t think he’d necessarily get far on one leg but he wasn’t willing to bet on it either.

Once they were finally out of sight the cat relaxed but Eddie could tell he had too much energy still thrumming through him. “Easy, Buck,” he murmured soothingly.

“Sorry, sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I know it’s been a while since you last shifted.” He lifted his hand to Buck’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. The almost, but not quite, massage seemed to do the trick as the cat deflated entirely, slumping into Eddie’s side.

They sat like that for a while, Eddie’s arm firm around Buck as he chatted with Abuela and Pepa. Chris stumbled over to them eventually, yawning widely. Buck sat up with a chuckle, reaching for him as he bumped into Buck’s side. “Worked off all the sugar, buddy?” His son nodded slowly and happily curled up against Buck’s chest when the cat placed him on his good knee. Eddie brought his free arm up to rub his back.

“We’ll head home soon, mijo; I think you and Buck need a nap.” He half expected Buck to argue but he only yawned himself and slumped back down to lean his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“There’s been too much excitement today for your boys, Edmundo.” He looked up at his Abuela to find her smiling teasingly at him. He valiantly fought a blush. He heard Buck hum and the cat appeared to try to nod his head in agreement but ended up just rubbing his face against Eddie instead. He sure wasn’t complaining as his scent was left embedded into Eddie’s shoulder.

He gave himself a minute to wallow in the ecstasy and pain of being curled around his little family before reluctantly pulling away. “Alright you two, let’s get a move on.” He was met by twin groans of disapproval, the sound making him smile. Christopher blinked up at him and held his arms out to be picked up. As soon as he was secure in Eddie’s arms, Buck struggled upright, wobbling alarmingly enough for Eddie to reach out a steadying hand.

“I’m good, thanks, Eds.” He hummed disbelievingly but settled for keeping close to him as they carefully made their way through the crowd. Eddie wasn’t sure how successful he would be in helping Buck whilst keeping a hold of his son, if something did happen, but he was confident he’d manage somehow.

Chapter 28

Summary:

Buck faces some setbacks

Chapter Text

Buck bit his lip as he struggled to contain a groan as his leg went from dully aching to sharp stabbing pains. A gasp escaped him as it felt like his bones were trying to twist out of his skin. It was that exact moment that Eddie unfortunately walked in. His eyes sharpened as he took in Buck’s sweaty and trembling figure curled up on the couch. “Buck.”

“I’m okay.”

“You’re not. I’m taking you to the hospital.” Buck started to groan in exasperation but it quickly morphed into one of pain. “Your leg has been bothering you for days now; I am dragging your furry ass to the hospital whether you like it or not.”

Buck’s leg had been bothering him since he woke up in the hospital but he figured the pain would taper off as he healed. Instead it seemed to only increase until he’d been unable to hide it for the past few days. Eddie had scolded him for going to his shield ceremony but Buck was glad he had; if he had to deal with excruciating pain he would at least like to be doing it for a good reason. Sitting on Eddie’s couch alone, whilst the rest of his family gathered to celebrate his best friend, was certainly not a good reason.

Thankfully, Eddie’s stress over his parents' visit had kept him occupied enough to not notice Buck’s true level of pain but, now that they had swiftly departed following their removal from the firehouse, Eddie’s attention was all on him again.

The wolf disappeared from the living room but quickly returned with a bulging duffle bag. Buck wanted to tease him for it but the pain increased again so he could only slump back, panting. Eddie’s eyes widened and he rushed over, dropping to his knees so heavily Buck was sure it would bruise.

“Eds.” He called out for him, stretching out a hand pleadingly as he allowed himself to finally feel the fear bubbling up his throat.

“I’m here, Ev. We’re going to get you to a doctor and you’re going to be just fine.”

Somehow Eddie managed to cart Buck out to his car within seconds, jogging back to grab his bag before throwing himself into the drivers’ seat.

“How we doing, Buck?” He could hear the worry in Eddie’s voice but the excruciating pain was too overwhelming for Buck to offer any kind of reassurance.

“Hurts.” The wolf shot a quick glance over to him and offered his hand. Buck latched on gratefully.

“I know, cariño. It’s gonna be okay; I’ve got you.” Tears welled in Buck’s eyes. He squeezed them closed as another lightening bolt of pain shot through him. Eddie seemed to be able to tell, brushing his thumb over the back of Buck’s knuckles in an effort to comfort him.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Almost there. Hold on just a little longer, cariño.” Buck whimpered but forced himself to nod.

The next hour passed in a blur of harried activity and worried faces peering intently at him. He knew people were talking to him and about him but Buck couldn’t understand a word they were saying through the haze of agony. There was a hand in his hair and his name murmured into his ear and then darkness closed in as the pain reached a crescendo.

Buck was met with a familiar feeling when he slowly came back to himself. Everything was soft and disconnected. He floated in the strange in between until he finally found his way back. A hand curled around his again but there was no throbbing pain in his leg. He fluttered his eyes open, squinting from the hospital light’s glare.

“There you are.” Another hand stroked through his hair and Buck arched into it happily. He made slow eye contact with his favourite pair of eyes.

“Hey,” he croaked.

“You’ve got to stop scaring me like that, cariño.” It’s whispered as if Eddie were afraid to give voice to his fear. Buck’s eyes watered seeing the vulnerability written across Eddie’s beautiful face.

“Didn’ mean to. M’kay, Eds.” The wolf squeezed his hand as he shuffled closer.

“Yeah but you almost weren’t. If we’d left it just a couple hours longer you could have…” He breaks off as he averts his eyes.

“Eddie.” Buck watches as his shoulders bunch up before jerkily relaxing back down.

“I need you to take your health seriously, Evan, please.” Buck nods as enthusiastically as he can whilst drugged up to his eyeballs. The wonky gesture worked though as Eddie snorted and then gave him a hint of a smile. They sat quietly for a minute. Buck tried to capture his scattered thoughts as best he could.

“Wha’ happen’?” Eddie sighed as he squeezed his hand again.

“Your body was trying to reject the hardware in your leg… by twisting your bones out of them. They had to remove them completely and reset your leg… again.” Buck’s eyes widened as he glanced down at his encased leg.

“What does… what does that mean?”

“They’re going to see if your leg will heal properly on its own now.”

“So this… this whole time.. It’s- it’s been for nothing? I’m starting over again?” Buck could feel the tears welling in his eyes; he was sick and tired of having to be a burden to everyone around him. All he wanted was to go back to work and be Eddie’s equal again. He hated that he wasn’t there to have Eddie’s back.

“Hey, hey, Buck, no. It wasn’t for nothing. The break this time is a lot cleaner; there’s a good chance you’ll heal faster and be in less pain. Okay? You’re gonna be okay, Buck.” Buck could only shake his head before he tipped it back to try and prevent his tears from falling.

“I n-need to work, Eddie.” The wolf leaned closer bringing his other hand up so that Buck’s was cupped between them.

“And you will. You just need to be patient.” He shook his head again. A stray tear fell down his cheek.

“What’s the point of me if I’m not working?” If Buck hadn’t been full of hospital grade painkillers the whispered entreaty would have never made it past his lips. He saw Eddie stiffen out of the corner of his eye.

“What- Buck, how- how can you say that? You’re so much more than being a firefighter, man.” The words tried to sink in but they only slid off of him as if made of oil. He nodded and rolled his head back in Eddie’s direction. He closed his eyes, terrified of the judgement he would find on his best friend’s face.

“Yeah.”

“Buck-”

“Tired.” There was a beat of silence and then Eddie sighed again. Buck felt his thumb rub across his knuckles.

“Get some sleep, cariño.” Sleep claimed him fairly quickly despite the turmoil of Buck’s thoughts.

Buck only had to stay in the hospital for a few days this time round but his mood was far darker than it had been before. He spent the whole time assuring whoever turned up that he didn’t need the constant babysitting considering his doctors were checking his leg multiple times a day. All their hovering achieved was reminding Buck how utterly useless he was even after all this time.

He had managed to get it down to a science of being able to convince whoever came to sit next to him to leave within half an hour of their arrival. Maddie took a bit longer but she always gave in when he told her how tired he was and how much it stressed him out to think she was just going to sit there watching him sleep. The only person he’d failed to get rid of was Eddie. The wolf didn’t even acknowledge Buck’s arguments anymore; the most he got was a disbelieving raised eyebrow. And then he sat in the chair as if nothing could ever move him from it. Buck hated it. (Buck loved it)

Finally, though, he was released back into Eddie’s custody. He’d considered trying to get Eddie to drop him off elsewhere but then realised the only other place he could really go was Maddie’s and her tearful mother-henning was far worse than Eddie’s quiet hovering. Judging by the smug look Eddie had given him when they pulled up outside his house, he had been well aware of Buck’s internal debate.

There was something bittersweet about settling back into the same routine Buck had been stuck in since a ladder truck landed on him. Not that Buck was ungrateful for the Diaz boys and their hospitality but sitting around all day waiting for them to come and entertain him was not Buck’s idea of a good time. He couldn’t help Eddie around the house so, really, he was only creating more work for the wolf.

And God forbid Buck wear out his welcome. He knew it was inevitable; it always was, but Buck had hoped that it would take longer than this. Before the ladder truck (and before Shannon really) he had been careful to stick to his predetermined allotted time when in their space. Now he was there constantly and Eddie couldn’t exactly get rid of him. At least Maddie would probably outright tell him when she was fed up with Buck. Since Eddie was such a nice guy- and stubborn- Buck couldn’t imagine he’d go so far as to verbally rescind his invite into their lives. So Buck was now spending his days avidly watching for the slightest sign that his time was up. There hadn’t been anything overt enough for Buck to spot yet but he was determined to remain vigilant.

Somehow they all managed to survive the week and Buck was practically bouncing as Eddie helped him out of the car at the hospital. “You know I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so excited to be going to hospital,” the wolf teased.

“I finally get my cast off today; how could I not be excited?” Eddie definitely rolled his eyes but Buck ignored him in favour of hobbling to the door as quickly as his crutches would allow.

“Might. You might get your cast off today.”

“Aww c’mon, Eds, have a little faith!” He also chose to ignore Eddie’s disbelieving snort.

“I’ll have a little faith if you have a little patience.” Buck stuck his tongue out in retaliation, earning himself another eye roll.

When the doctor finally called them in, Buck was fairly sure he was about to vibrate out of the cast anyway. Eddie placed a warm hand at the base of his back and he found the buzzing under his skin settled down. He deliberately inhaled his musky scent, with only a hint of spice today, to help himself calm the rest of the way.

“Well, Mr Buckley, looks like we can take your cast off today.” Buck beamed, shuffling forward as if it would get it off faster. Eddie placed a restraining hand on his knee and shot him an amused smile. “But,” Buck’s head swung round so quickly he’d probably have given himself whiplash if he were human. The doctor smiled in a way he probably thought was reassuring but Buck’s heart had already taken off. Eddie’s hand squeezed and it was only that point of contact that kept Buck’s pathetic whine contained.

“You will need to wear a brace instead. You can move about more but you’ll still need plenty of rest.” Buck swallowed as his throat went dry.

“W-what about work?” He asked desperately.

“You’ve still got a few more weeks until I’ll clear you for light duty and plenty of physical therapy before I will even consider clearing you fully.” When the doctor saw Buck’s face, with desolation likely painted across it, his face became less understanding and more stern. “I know you want to get back out there, Mr Buckley, but you suffered a severe injury and should count yourself lucky that I believe you’ll be able to walk at all, let alone regain full function of your leg. You just need to be patient for a couple of months.”

Buck was too deep into his dark spiral to reply so Eddie squeezed his knee harder and addressed the doctor directly. “Don’t worry, Doc; I’ll make sure he follows your instructions to the letter.” Hearing the non-verbal reprimand in Eddie’s tone Buck nodded numbly.

Two months. Two months. How could he possibly stay a burden on his friends for two more months, giving nothing back but his depressive episodes and admittedly bad attitude? It was just that no-one seemed to really get it. God knows Eddie tried but he didn’t seem to see the issue with Buck ‘taking it easy’. He didn’t feel the god-awful fear Buck did everyday that the longer they had to look after him the more they would see that Buck wasn’t worth it.

He stayed completely zoned out for the rest of the appointment and it wasn't until he was being encouraged to stand, with weight on his bad leg, that he came back to himself. The dull pain brought Buck back to Earth with a jolt. He hissed at the initial shock of it but bit back the rest of the noises he wanted to make. Instead he concentrated on Eddie’s now spicy scent.

They carefully made their way back to Eddie’s truck with the wolf’s arm a solid support around Buck. “I’m okay, Eds.” The reassurance was slightly ruined by Buck’s gasp as he missed the curb and dropped down too heavily on his leg. Eddie’s arm tightened and he only hummed noncommittally.

In fact his best friend didn’t say a single word to him as they drove back to his place. It wasn’t until the cushions on the couch had been fluffed within an inch of their lives and Buck forced back against them that Eddie finally spoke to him.

“You said you would take your health seriously, Evan.” Buck looked up in surprise and found himself concerned by the look in Eddie’s eyes. There was something working behind them that Buck couldn’t immediately identify.

“I will, Eds.”

Buck.” Buck held his pinkie up sheepishly as Eddie groaned at him.

“I promise I will, Eddie.” The wolf sent him a scathing glare but it was missing its usual heat as he hooked his pinkie around Buck’s.

“You better or you’ll have me to deal with.”

“Death by mother-henning, what a way to go.” Buck smirked as Eddie narrowed his eyes.

“You mock but you act like it’ll kill you if anyone shows even the slightest concern over your wellbeing.” The smile fell off of Buck’s face and he cast his eyes downward. He immediately began plucking at a loose thread as he shrugged.

“Buck.” He refused to look up lest Eddie was able to read the answer from his eyes; he always felt like he bared his soul whenever Eddie so much as twitched in his direction. “Buck, come on.” A large hand curled under his chin and lifted until their eyes met. “There you are.” Every ounce of moisture in Buck’s mouth evaporated on the spot. How was he supposed to keep his defences up when Eddie looked at him all soft and warm and worried. A thumb swept across Buck’s cheekbone and his walls crumbled without even a token of a fight.

As tears welled in his eyes Eddie frowned, his other hand coming up to cradle Buck’s face. “Talk to me, Buck.” He tried to shake his head but couldn’t go through with the gesture when it threatened to dislodge Eddie’s hold. The wolf’s thumbs swept across his skin again to mop up the escaped tears trailing down his face. “Please.” Buck’s eyes closed in defeat.

“I guess…I-I I just…I don’t know, Eds. I feel like you’ll get sick of me. You shouldn’t have to take care of me.” The thumbs never stopped their movement even as he felt Eddie exhale heavily.

“I will never get sick of you, Evan.” He opened his mouth to protest but Eddie’s digits pressed in harder to get his attention. “No, I won’t. And I happen to like looking after you. You’ve taken care of me and Chris since the beginning; now it’s our turn.”

“I didn’t do it so that you would have to reciprocate, Eddie.”

“No, I know and I’m not doing it now so that you’ll reciprocate either.” Buck opened his eyes to better read the sincerity on Eddie's face. The wolf also seemed to search Buck’s face though Buck wasn’t sure what he was looking for. “Is it really so hard to believe that I just want to take care of you, Ev?” He didn’t answer but he knew Eddie read the clear ‘yes’ written across Buck’s face. The older man’s face twisted as if he didn’t know whether to be angry or sad and ended up looking determined instead. His hands pressed pointedly into Buck’s face. “Well I do care and there’s nothing you could ever do to make me stop.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes, neither one making a move to separate. Buck sniffled and Eddie sighed as he rubbed his thumbs across Buck’s face one last time before pulling back. “You need to get some rest; Chris will be jumping on you in less than an hour.” Buck’s chuckle was weak and slightly strangled but genuine all the same.

Dutifully he swung his legs around as Eddie stood up and spread himself out across the couch as much as he could given his height. As the wolf went to leave the room Buck called after him. “Hey, Eds?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.” He was rewarded with the softest smile.

“You never have to thank me for caring, cariño.”

Chapter 29

Summary:

A lovely day at the pier... or it could have been if it wasn't Buck and his luck.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Buck actually felt more relaxed now that he wasn’t carrying around a giant ass cast on his leg. Yes, the brace was still bulky and annoying but it was nowhere near as bad as the cast had been. And now he could actually make himself slightly useful around the Diaz home.

His doctor had said he could stand for short periods of time, and slowly extend them to be longer, so long as he had equal periods of rest in between. He had of course tried to get away with shorter rest periods but Eddie had clearly predicted he would and set Chris on him immediately. The boy was thrilled by his new role of following Buck around with a stopwatch, making sure he sat down for exactly as long as he stood up. Eddie, the traitor, had a constant smirk on his face whenever he observed both of them.

His pain had also decreased significantly, which helped Buck try to be a little more patient; clearly their efforts were paying off this time round so he could indulge the Diaz boys when they demanded Buck sit down rather than help with dinner. He still wasn’t even attempting to help when Carla was there. Eddie had pouted when Buck hadn’t so much as looked like he was about to rebel against Carla’s request that he sit down.

“Oh so when I ask you still try to help but when Carla asks you’re like a well-trained golden retriever rather than un cachorro travieso.” He had no idea what Eddie had called him but he was pretty sure it wasn’t a compliment. Buck stuck his tongue out at him but quickly retracted it when Eddie made as if to grab it.

“Surely you’re aware I’m a cat after all this time, Eddie.” The wolf huffed and playfully shoved his shoulder as he slumped down next to him on the couch. Eddie too had been banned from the kitchen but for entirely different reasons. “And you do realise I only insist on helping you because I’m worried for Chris’ health; he shouldn’t have to suffer food poisoning just because I’ve got a bum leg.”

“Hey! I wouldn’t give my kid food poisoning.” Buck merely raised a knowing eyebrow.

“That was one time and it’s not like I actually served it to him.”

“Mmhm and why was that again?”

“...Because you saw the chicken wasn’t fully cooked when you were helping,” he admitted reluctantly. Buck smirked widely, digging his elbow into the wolf’s side for good measure causing Eddie to twist away.

“Exactly.” Eddie huffed dramatically but he could see the twitch threatening at the corner of his mouth as he settled right back against Buck when he withdrew his elbow.

After they’d eaten and Chris had been put to bed, they lounged on the couch together, Buck’s legs in Eddie’s lap, the wolf lightly massaging Buck’s leg. Buck himself was practically melted into the cushions; this was one of his favourite things about living with the Diaz boys. He’d have been happy just to be able to exist in their space but this was so much better.

“Hey, Eddie, I’ve been thinking-”

“Careful,” The wolf interrupted and though Buck could tell he was teasing his best friend’s body had also tensed up. Buck wondered what Eddie was assuming Buck had been thinking about. Rather than getting distracted by Eddie’s reaction (though he resolved to revisit it later) he stayed on target; he’d promised Chris he would ask.

“You’re hilarious.” He replied deadpan. “What I was saying was, I’ve been thinking, since I’m more mobile now-”

“Barely.”

“I’m way more mobile and you know it. You just don’t want to admit it because you secretly enjoy being able to mother-hen someone now that Chris has grown out of it.” Buck decided to read Eddie’s grunt as an admission of guilt. “Anyway. As I’m more mobile I wondered if you minded if I took Chris out on Saturday whilst you’re on shift?”

Eddie smiled softly even as he rolled his eyes. “Of course I don’t mind, Buck. But you have to Uber wherever you’re going and I’m going to remind Chris to time your rest.” He snorted at the image of Chris following him around outside with his little stopwatch. Maybe Buck should get him a clipboard; it was never too early to start bossing people about after all.

He shook his head slightly before his brain could wander off on that tangent. Buck could not wait until he wasn’t being force fed painkillers every night. He could get away with not taking them in the morning, since he was often on his own, but there was always someone about in the evening to bully them into him.

“Relax; I’ll probably take him to the movies or something. Not much standing to be doing there.”

“Mmhm, just try and be careful, please?” Eddie looked at him seriously then.

“I’ll look after him, Eds, promise.” For some reason Eddie rolled his eyes and then twisted so that he was facing Buck though he kept a hold of Buck’s ankles so that his legs stayed in his lap.

“I know you’ll look after him Buck; I’m not worried in the slightest about Chris. I’m asking that you’re careful for yourself.” He swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat and tried to blink away the tears gathering in his eyes. Another reason to avoid these ridiculous painkillers, he swore he was more emotional now than when he’d gone through puberty.

“Yeah…Yeah, Eddie. Promise.” Eddie searched Buck’s face before the corner of his mouth turned up and he leant over to flick Buck’s ear.

“I’ll hold you to that, Buckley.” Buck swiped at the offending hand with a pout.

“Bully.”

“Damn straight.” Buck tried not to choke on his laugh. There was definitely nothing straight about Buck these days. Luckily he managed to keep that thought off of his tongue.

Buck inhaled deeply as the soft sea breeze caressed his face. He almost wished he’d forgone the usual gel he put in his hair but it’d been so long since he’d been properly out in the world he’d wanted to make an effort. Still, it would have been nice to feel the wind ruffle through his curls

“Buck!” He grinned as he turned to face Chris. The boy had been ecstatic to be spending the day out with him but, since the weather was so nice, had asked if they could go to the pier rather than the movies. Buck had eagerly agreed and the two were making the most of it, starting with a tower of pancakes at a diner nearby. He had dutifully taken a selfie of them with it and sent it to Eddie.

“What’s up, Superman?”

“Can we play this game and then we can go sit down?” The boy checked the stopwatch carefully. “You have to sit down for 20 minutes.” Buck rolled his eyes for show but he was so damn fond of the kid and how seriously he was taking his role in looking after Buck. Chris caring about him so loudly always caused Buck’s heart to ache with the amount of love overflowing. He was definitely the best kid in the world.

“Alright, what are we winning?” Buck asked as he kneeled down and surveyed Chris’ chosen game.

“The bear!” He eyed the giant bear.

“We got this,” he declared confidently as he placed his hands over Chris’ on the water gun. “You ready?” The boy cheered enthusiastically and then they were off.

Buck carried the bear as they walked away, Chris somehow bouncing as he led Buck towards a bench at the end of the pier. “Come on, Buck! You and Buddy can sit here for…24 minutes.”

“Buddy, huh?” Buck asked as he sat next to the bear on the bench. Chris climbed up next to them and proceeded to stand so that he was facing the water, a wide smile plastered across his face. Fighting down his instinctive panic, Buck carefully curled a hand in the back of the boy’s t-shirt to keep him secure. Thankfully, Chris either didn’t notice or didn’t care about Buck’s hold, seemingly just happy to watch the waves.

“He’s my buddy.” Buck grinned but then leant back so that Chris could see him pout.

“I thought I was your buddy?” He was rewarded with Chris’ giggles.

“Nooo, Buck! You’re my best friend; Buddy is my buddy.”

“Oh well that’s okay then, so long as I’m still your best friend.”

“We’ll be best friends forever and ever and ever!” Buck chuckled a little as he relaxed back and turned his head to observe the crowd.

“We definitely will, kiddo.”

They were both quiet for a few minutes: Chris watching the waves and Buck watching the people. It was peaceful sitting here with the soft breeze and warm sunshine on his face. Buck found himself thinking he’d happily stay here for hours if Chris wanted.

Loud yells and calls for people to move had Buck glancing over just as a paramedic team were performing CPR on someone. He gritted his teeth at the harsh reminder that he was sitting here, entirely useless, when he should be with them, helping. Chris shifted his weight and Buck’s hand tightened automatically.

He took a deep breath. That wasn’t right because he was sitting here keeping Chris safe and that was worth more to him than helping out a random person who didn’t need him right then. Not when there were other people around to save them instead. Other, more capable, people. He cleared his throat as he desperately made conversation so that the dark thoughts couldn’t drag him out of the sunshine.

“You ever think about what you want to do with your life? What you want to be when you grow up?” Chris didn’t disappoint, responding without a single second of hesitation.

“Astronaut or a pirate.” Buck nodded, fighting a grin as he pictured him in those cute Halloween costumes he’d seen already cropping up in shops.

“Some good choices. Cool outfits too.”

“No, wait. A firefighter!” He half laughed, half sighed as his eyes slid back over to the paramedic team but they had already loaded their patient up and were leaving the pier.

“Yeah, me too. But, Chris, if those career paths don't work out, um... I hope you do find something you love. You know, something you're good at. That makes you feel like you matter. Something you could do forever. Because when you do, it's gonna tell you who you are; it's gonna show you the rest of your life. And that is the best feeling and I hope you get that. And I hope you get to keep it.” The last sentence was hard to push out as Buck’s eyes filled with tears.

Chris of course, being the greatest kid in the world, leant down so he could cup Buck’s face with his tiny palm. The move was so reminiscent of his dad that it brought an immediate, although wobbly, smile to Buck’s face. “You're gonna be okay, kid.” Buck’s smile widened impossibly.

“So long as I have my Diaz boys.” Chris grinned back, nodding enthusiastically.

“We’re family.” The boy said it without a single ounce of doubt evident. Buck couldn’t bring himself to disagree in the face of his assuredness.

They settled back into their previous positions, Buck thankful that no one else seemed to be having any kind of emergency. “Hey, Buck?” He hummed as he tipped his head back but closed his eyes rather than squint up at him. “Where’d all the water go?” Buck frowned as he swivelled on the bench to see what Christopher meant. The sight that met him would live in Buck’s nightmares for the rest of his life.

The sea had washed out, leaving behind dark mud and in the distance was a growing wall of water racing towards them. Buck gasped but his hands were already coming up to clutch Chris’ waist. Without thought, Buck slung the kid over his shoulder and sprinted in the opposite direction. The tsunami siren only began wailing as Buck took his first step.

The crowd paused in confusion and Buck began yelling at them as he barrelled towards and through them. Begging them to run; to take cover; to get off the pier; anything. Even as he shouted he knew that it was no use; there was no way for any of them to outrun the ocean.

He allowed himself a quick look over his shoulder when the smell of the ocean overwhelmed him. They were out of time already.

Seeing a game stall he made a split second decision to lower Chris behind it and jumped in behind him. “Chris, listen to me okay. I need you to hold on tight to me but if we get separated you need to swim and find something to hold onto. I will find you. You need to hold your breath when I say so, okay?” The boy was silent but his wide frightened eyes were locked onto Buck’s, hopefully absorbing everything Buck was desperately trying to tell him in the hopes that somehow, someway, they would make it out of this. He peered over the stall before quickly ducking back. “Hold your breath, Chris!” He had just enough time to see him comply before the water was smashing into them.

They clung to each other and Buck managed to hold on at first but eventually the ocean ripped Chris out of his arms. Buck’s hands clawed uselessly into the swirling abyss as he was tumbled along with the rest of the debris being swept away.

He wasn’t sure how he managed it but his head broke the surface. There was only one deep gasp for breath before he was calling for Chris. “Buck!” He spun towards the voice and could have cried when he saw Chris clinging to a lamppost across the way.

“Chris! Chris! Chris, just-just stay there! I'm coming. Just hang on!” Buck looked around him but there was nothing that could help him close the distance between them. Gritting his teeth, he forced his legs to kick out with all the strength he could muster. It was enough to move him sideways, closer to the distressed boy. “Grab my hand! Christopher, reach out. Grab my hand!”

Buck reached as far as he could even as the water carried him down the street. He was so close but then their fingers were passing by each other, just out of reach. “No, Chris! Chris! Chris! Christopher! Stay over there!” Buck called as he tried to fight the current. Chris screamed out between sobs.

“I can't hold on!”

“Just hold on, Christopher!”

“Buck! Buck!” He watched in horror as Christopher lost his grip, the water washing him away. Buck somehow lunged through the water as he fought to close the distance so that the boy was carried almost directly into his arms. His arms wrapped around the small body and hauled the kid up so that his head was well out of the water.

“I got you! I-I got you, I got you,” he panted. It was as much reassurance for him as it was the trembling boy held against his chest.

“Buck,” he wailed right into Buck’s ear, burying his head into Buck’s neck. He tightened his arms.

“I’ve got you, Chris; we’re okay.”

The water continued to carry them down the street and Buck would have happily let it carry them to a shallower area but he knew he couldn’t tread water in the deluge for long, not with one leg significantly weakened. “Okay, Chris. I need you to look around for somewhere dry we can wait this out. The first person to see something wins, yeah?” Chris nodded against Buck’s shoulder and he couldn’t have been more proud as the boy bravely unburied his head to look around.

Buck was frantically looking around too as his leg began to ache. “Over there. It’s a fire truck!” He managed to turn and, sure enough, there was a fire truck in the middle of the street, the ocean rushing past it but not doing more than rocking it occasionally. He wanted to laugh at the irony of it all but saved his energy for getting himself and Chris over to the vehicle as quickly as possible.

Just as they reached the ladder, he spotted a piece of debris racing towards them. He hurriedly shoved Chris up, offering a silent apology when he heard the boy land heavily. Buck knew he didn’t have time to get himself up before getting hit so he used his grip to instead pull himself downwards until he was fully submerged. He fought the instinctive panic as he waited for the debris to pass overhead. A stray piece scraped across his face but it was a small price to pay.

When he did reemerge Chris was crying hysterically for him. He climbed up as quickly as he could and then flopped onto his back, his arms reaching out to cuddle Chris close as he launched himself at Buck, uncontrollable sobs wracking his body. “We’re okay, we’re okay. We’re safe here. I’ve got you.” He tiredly rubbed Chris’ back as he tried to comfort him whilst catching his breath.

After an indeterminable amount of time Buck moved them so that he was resting with his back against the cab and Chris curled up safely in his lap. “You good, Chris?” The boy leant back so that Buck could see he was smiling again. Buck couldn’t help but smile in return, relieved that Chris wasn’t inconsolable anymore.

“Yep. I took surfing lessons.” He laughed at the statement said so proudly.

“Oh, well, maybe you can teach me.” He sighed as the boy cuddled close again, resting his head on Buck’s chest. Not willing to fight his instincts, he nuzzled into Chris’ wet curls to mark him with his scent, the gesture bringing him comfort. With a sigh he pulled back though, conscious of their tenuous situation. ”All right, I'm gonna take a look around and see what I can see.”

There really wasn’t much to see. He slumped back defeated but tried not to show it in his voice. “I guess we're gonna have to hang out here a little longer.” Chris didn’t seem disheartened in the slightest as he wiggled a little.

“We have a fire truck!” He exclaimed.

“Yeah, we do,” Buck agreed a little absentmindedly as he thought he heard a voice shouting in the distance.

At first he was hopeful that it was a rescue team but then the voice got closer and he could make out a woman screaming for help. When Buck adjusted Chris in his lap so that he could lean forward to find the woman Chris too looked around avidly. They both spotted the woman just as she managed to grab onto a pole before she was washed past it.

“Help! Please, someone help me!” It wasn’t even a conscious decision for Buck to edge forwards, his body naturally straining with the need to help. But then the weight in his arms registered and he froze as his instincts tore him in two. His human side screamed at him to save the person in need but the lion side demanded he keep the cub safe.

“Buck, we have to help her.” Chris’ little but determined voice had Buck looking down into eyes that were just as determined. The expression reminded him so much of Eddie that he wavered again.

“Chris…” He looked between the boy and the woman. Her grip looked like it was starting to slip. He made the decision.

“I'll help! Yeah! I- I'm gonna come for you!” He yelled over to her as he carefully placed Chris where Buck had just been sitting. “Okay, okay. Chris, um, I- I need you to sit right here for me. You promise me?” Christopher nodded quickly.

“Yeah.” Still Buck hesitated.

“Okay, right here. Right here.”

“Yeah. Promise, Buck.” With a final stern look, he nodded back at the boy before he turned to try and rescue the woman.

“Help! Help!” Thinking quickly, Buck grabbed the hose attached to the fire truck and climbed across the cars wedged around them. On his way he found a man stuck in his car. He promised to come back for him as he eyed the faltering grip of the woman still in the water. At the final car he dove back in. The water rushing around him was far less disorientating when he was in it voluntarily. Go figure.

He managed to swim the remaining distance to the other side of the street and secured the end of the hose around a tree. He used the line he’d created to get himself into the middle of the street and just below the woman’s position.

“Hey, you can let go! Okay? I need you to let go. You can do it!” The woman shot him a look which was probably all kinds of incredulous but miraculously she seemed to decide to trust him and let go.

She caught herself on the taut hose line and Buck was quick to slide over to her to wrap his own hands around hers and then an arm around her waist. “Okay, you're doing great. Okay, okay, okay. You're doing so great.” He kept up a litany of encouragement as they carefully pulled themselves back over to the truck. “Just climb up. You're okay. You got it. Chris, buddy, how we doing?”

“We’re doing great!” Chris was bouncing where he sat but was exactly where Buck had left him. He let out a relieved breath and took a minute to check in but he was conscious of the trapped man.

“Okay, okay. I’ve got to go help someone else but I’ll be right back. Wait right here, okay?”

“Okay, Buck.” He turned to the woman who had pulled herself to sit next to the boy.

“Will you watch him?” She nodded and gave him a shaky thumbs up, her breathing too heavy to reply verbally. Buck squeezed her shoulder quickly in thanks.

He had just got the man onto the truck when Chris called his name. Buck looked up in alarm but frowned as he saw Chris pointing behind him. When he turned he saw a group of people being swept towards them. They all seemed to see him standing on the truck at the same time and began screaming for help.

“Grab the line!” he hollered. The woman gave Buck a nod as she wrapped an arm around Chris’ shoulder.

“We’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Thank you,” Buck said and allowed himself to be reassured that, even if it wasn’t him keeping a close eye on Chris, there was still someone watching over him and keeping him safe. With that thought he focused on the group. He wasn’t useless and there was no one else around who could help. He didn’t think he’d be able to forgive himself if he sat idly by and watched anyone desperately calling for help, knowing that he could have done something to help.

In the end Buck saved everyone in the group and everyone in the next group that came along too. The top of the firetruck had become a little crowded but they were all too happy to squeeze in so long as they were safe from the still rushing ocean. Buck had to admit he was quickly reaching a state of exhaustion and his leg ached terribly but he didn’t let either thing stop him when he saw the next victim in need of his help. It did eventually quiet down and Buck was able to rest with Chris safe in his lap once again.

“You need to sit down for hours and hours now, Buck.” He scoffed at Chris’ smug tone.

“You can tell on me to your dad when I get you home, okay?” The boy giggled and then settled back into place.

They passed the time with idle conversation, small talk and then silly games with the younger members of the group as they began to get bored and uncomfortable. “Okay, I spy, with my little eye, something that... moves people around.” Chris looked around eagerly.

“Um- Oh, a scooter!”

“Ah, yeah. Nice one.” Buck ruffled Chris’ hair and tried not to grimace at the slightly gritty texture. They would both need very long showers after today. “Okay, genius, your turn.”

“I spy a shopping cart.” The outburst brought out an unexpected laugh from Buck.

“What? No, come on. Hey, that's not how the game works; you can't just yell stuff out.”

“But yelling stuff out is the fun part!” The boy was beaming as Buck laughed at him again.

“You amaze me, buddy.”

“Why?”

“I got some bad news the other week, and was really sad and mad. But you, after the day you had, here you are, with a big smile, bustin' a gut. You never gave up. Even when that water was rushing over you back there. You just kept on swimming.”

“Like Dory,” he said with a wise, serious nod but Buck could see the little grin trying to peek out. It was the exact way Eddie looked when he teased Buck. He retaliated by poking him in the ribs, startling a laugh from him and a screech as he tried to evade the ticklish touch.

“Yeah, like Dory.” He sobered as he cuddled Chris close again, murmuring into his hair as he fought tears, suddenly overwhelmed. “And not just today. You know, but every day. You never say no, you never complain. How-how do you do that?”

“Well, I complained once, but it didn't work.”

“So what did you do?”

“Just kept on swimming.”

“Like Dory.” They shared matching grins.

“Oh, my God, look over there.” Buck’s head snapped up, expecting someone else to need his help but then he realised the bodies floating toward him weren’t moving. He gulped as he fought back tears again. He felt Chris shift to try and see what everyone was suddenly looking at. Panic gripped him and he tightened his grip as he physically turned Chris away.

“I-I spy, with my little eye, something that is high,” he said in desperation. Buck couldn’t have been more grateful when the boy happily played along, easily going back to the game and forgetting everyone else’s distraction.

“A street sign?” His head dipped slightly and Buck knew his voice was a little high as he frantically tried to direct his gaze somewhere he wouldn’t catch so much as a glimpse of the dead bodies in the water.

“Uh, high-higher than that.”

The game lasted a long while and everyone had a strained smile when they met Buck’s eyes. A couple of them would check every so often and then shake their heads. Chris remained blissfully ignorant throughout, only being a little put out that he couldn’t guess the non-existent thing Buck was supposedly spying. When he finally got the nod that the bodies had passed out of sight, he readily agreed to Chris’ next suggestion and the boy crowed his victory loudly, bringing genuine smiles back to people’s faces, including Buck’s.

Finally the game ended again and Buck sighed tiredly. “I don't know what I'm gonna tell your father. You know, I take you out one time and, uh... look what happens.” Chris frowned at him.

“You saved me. And you saved them.” Buck tried to smile.

“No, we did that together. Me and you make a great team. Give me a high five. I'm proud of you.” Christopher smiled, wiggling in pleasure.

“Thank you, Buck.” He was about to respond when he heard the faint sound of the siren wailing again. Everyone looked up in confusion and fear. Buck preemptively moved Chris off of his lap and back towards the woman he had saved first.

“Camille-”

“I’ve got him, Buck.” He nodded his thanks and then stood to try and see if another wave was coming or if the siren was going off for no reason.

For the life of him he couldn’t see a wave in the distance but then he noticed the water swirling around them and then suddenly it was moving quickly in the opposite direction. He stumbled as the truck jolted and he realised what was happening. “Hey, everybody get down! Get down and hold on! Hold on!”

“Help!” Someone yelled as they started to tumble over the side of the truck. Buck lurched forward to catch their arm and pull them back. He turned with the intention of checking on everyone else when he heard Camille scream for Chris. Fear flooded him as he pivoted on his heel just in time to catch sight of Chris falling over the edge. There was no time to save him. Buck dove in after him without hesitation.

This time when he resurfaced there was no one calling his name. He couldn’t see a small body clinging to anything. There was nothing but rushing water and lethal debris. “Christopher! Christopher! No! Christopher! Christopher!” The lack of reply was devastating.

Buck didn’t know how much time had passed before he was walking instead of swimming. His wet clothes and the knee high water made every step a battle. His leg was in agony after what surely could have only been a few minutes of trudging through it. He came across more people who needed his help and though he did stop to help them, a part of him resented every wasted minute. Chris was out there, alone, possibly hurt and Buck was stopping to help other people instead of finding him.

When the sun began to droop towards the horizon Buck collapsed to his knees with a guttural scream ripped right from his chest. He panted there as he tried to gather the energy to keep going. Breathing deeply, he staggered back to his feet, cursing when his leg almost crumpled beneath him. He couldn’t do this. His body was failing him, failing Chris. Buck truly didn’t care anymore. Without a second thought he transformed into his lion form.

The change was agony and his yell of pain turned into a booming roar. What was left of his clothes exploded around him. People who had already been eyeing him warily hastily backed away and hid from him. Buck didn’t care. All that mattered was finding Christopher.

There wasn’t much left of Buck’s thoughts, only the lion’s instinct to search for his cub rolling round and around in his head. He no longer registered the pain of his leg; walking predominantly on three was much easier than one. He didn’t hear anyone calling for his help as they fell silent as soon as he was spotted. Buck walked and walked and walked until all he knew was Christopher’s name.

Sometime later there was a whisper of a scent that had Buck’s thoughts come back online abruptly, just enough to get him following the trail as quick as his paws could carry him. He found his cub with strangers. A rumble started in his throat and the humans froze, staring at him. They tried to back away with his cub. He snarled.

His eyes were focused on Christopher so he saw when he looked around and right into Buck’s eyes. He smelt the fear on him and snarled again, narrowing his eyes at the humans clutching his cub. But then the fear receded and a small weak voice called for him.

“Buck?” The rumble cut off as he chuffed reassuringly. “Buck!” and then Christopher was wobbling towards him. Buck rushed to meet him, only sparing a small noise of warning for the humans. Little hands fisted in his mane and Buck nuzzled eagerly against his cub’s head. “I thought I lost you. You’re a lion, Buck!”

With Christopher’s scent wrapping around him the lion receded enough that Buck could recognise that the people with Chris weren’t a threat and that Chris seemed safe and unharmed. He chuffed happily as he rubbed against the boy’s small body. Chris giggled but gripped him tighter, pulling himself closer.

“Um, hello. Did you- Did you want to carry him? We’re heading for the VA.” The woman asked weakly but made no move towards them.

Buck was beyond grateful as he sunk to his belly, hoping she would read the gesture as an agreement. She offered him a weak smile and slowly moved until she could help Chris onto Buck’s back. She was quick to step away as Buck rose back to his full height. He grunted as non-threateningly as he could and made sure not to look her directly in the eyes, trying to show that he meant them no harm. Chris sighed as he laid on his belly and buried his head in Buck’s back, his legs falling down on each side and his arms burrowing through Buck’s mane. He could feel how cold he was and hoped that his body and fur would help warm him.

Buck decided to lead the way back to the VA, aware that the couple would feel stalked if he walked behind them and that they likely wouldn't want to walk beside him either. He didn’t like having strangers at his back, not when he was still reeling from the loss of Chris, but he put up with it for the boy’s sake. Chris had craned his neck to check on them when Buck had started to pull too far ahead of them and made a small noise of distress when he couldn’t see them.

Though Buck’s leg burned and his body was almost shaking from exhaustion he stubbornly pushed forward. He would see Chris passed to a first responder and then he would allow himself to stop. Ideally he would see him put directly in Eddie’s arms but there was no telling if the wolf would be anywhere near the VA so Buck would take what he could get.

Time continued to have no meaning to him but he knew Chris had fallen asleep by the time he saw bright lights ahead. As they drew closer more and more people were freezing as they saw him. Some simply stopped and stared but others were scurrying away like cockroaches under a spotlight. If Buck were human he would have grimaced as he watched the scene play out. Nevertheless he continued into the bright area, looking around carefully so as to not disturb Chris.

It was as he was searching for someone who looked like they would be brave enough to approach him that an all too familiar scent washed over him. He followed it until he was met by a pair of very wide brown eyes. Buck was sure they were about to pop out of his head as he felt Chris sit up groggily and those eyes flashed with recognition.

“Chris?”

“Dad!”

Reassured now Eddie was close by, Buck felt every ounce of previous stubborn refusal to give in leave him and he melted to the pavement. It was only the worry that he would crush Chris that stopped Buck from collapsing onto his side entirely. His eyes fluttered closed just as he watched Eddie’s feet start moving in their direction.

Notes:

How excited are we to finally have the big reveal?! Eddie's reaction to follow next chapter of course

I don't speak Spanish so "un cachorro travieso" is a Google Translate special. If anyone does speak Spanish please feel free to correct me! (or rather correct Google)

Chapter 30

Summary:

So...Buck's a lion...

Notes:

Sorry for leaving you hanging but real life's timing is truly impeccable. Hope Eddie's reaction is worth the wait!

Chapter Text

Eddie took in a deep breath as he recentered himself, grimacing at the salt clinging to his nostrils. The scent was just reminiscent enough of Buck’s scent to have kept him at the forefront of his mind all day. He was incredibly grateful that the first day Buck ventured further from home since the bombing he had decided to go to the movies. Eddie hoped that both he and Chris remained blissfully oblivious to the carnage for at least a few hours.

He kept his head down as he worked for the next couple of hours now that he had stationed himself at the VA. He’d seen how desperate they were for medically trained people when he’d dropped Lena off after having to babysit her all the way here. Her bullheaded determination had only served as another reminder of Buck and he felt the absence of his partner keenly. But he was still glad Buck was far from the action and all the life-threatening situations he would have undoubtedly dove headfirst into. He shuddered to think just what predicaments the cat would have wound up in if he’d been working today.

It was as he’d just finished bandaging up a patient that he realised the noise level was rising considerably. Eddie lifted his head, frowning, as he tried to determine the cause but then a strange hush seemed to sweep over the area, infecting everyone. The hairs on the back of his neck rose in a primal warning and he quickly stepped towards where he could see people trying to shuffle away from. He watched as various people seemed to hide behind walls and screens whilst others were tripping over each other in their haste to get away. What unnerved Eddie the most was that they were all doing so almost silently. Dread settled low in his gut but he couldn’t imagine that another wave wouldn’t be accompanied by screams and yells of warning.

It only took him a few seconds to step clear of the crowd but it felt like a lifetime as his heart began to race. The sight that greeted him was so unexpected that he froze. There was a lion shifter standing in the middle of the street. Eddie stared in awe and a little bit of fear at the sheer size of them. He was so busy warily admiring the giant paws that he failed to notice the animal had walked closer to him and that its eyes were laser focused on him.

When Eddie did glance up he had every intention of slowly backing away except the lion’s eyes were a bright impossible blue. A bright familiar blue. His gaze was drawn to a slightly darker patch of fur above one of the beast’s eyes. His brain stuttered over the connection that was beginning to form in his mind. Before he could fully grasp at it, a person sat up on the lion’s back. Except it wasn’t a person; it was a child. His child.

“Chris?” He asked incredulously, the question almost soundless in his breathlessness.

“Dad!” Eddie blinked and blinked again. The vision before him didn’t change. There was his son (who should have been far far from here) sitting on a lion’s back and grinning at him excitedly. Eddie wasn’t sure he was still breathing.

But then the lion was collapsing to the floor and Chris started to look alarmed. Eddie rushed forward instinctively, uncaring that he might be about to be attacked when his son was looking so precariously balanced. “Buck!” Eddie only stumbled a little at his son’s cry.

He reached Christopher just as the lion’s- as Buck’s- chin thumped against the concrete and his eyes drifted closed. Making quick work of dismounting his squirming son, Eddie put a tentative hand against- against Buck. He was reassured momentarily by the rise and fall of his body but then the cat slowly started to tip onto its side.

“Did he say Buck?” The question came from Chim who had materialised suddenly, along with Hen and Cap. He didn’t dignify him with a response as he tried to support the lion- support Buck- whilst holding his son on his hip.

“Dad, you have to help him! He saved me. He saved everyone!”

“Okay, okay, mijo; I’m going to help him, okay?” It was Hen who stepped closer and held her arms out.

“Why don’t I take this little guy and check him over whilst you help Buck?” Eddie hesitated, his grip tightening on both Christopher and Buck alike.

All day he’d been content in the knowledge that his son and best friend were out of the path of destruction. His only real worry for them had been that they would be worried about him. And yet, inexplicably, they were both here. Christopher trembling (through cold, fear or adrenaline Eddie wasn’t sure) and Buck in his animal form and barely conscious. It was taking everything in Eddie not to wrap them both tight in his arms and growl at anyone who so much as looked in their direction. Then again, seeing as Buck was somehow a giant-ass lion, that would probably be easier said than done and definitely ineffective in providing protection to either of them.

Hen waited patiently as Eddie grappled with himself but Chris’ low whine of “Buck” had him transferring the boy quickly and turning his attention to the cat. Though it pained him, he knew that Buck needed him more right now. Not to mention the tantrum he could practically smell brewing if he didn’t help ‘Chris’ Buck’.

“Are we sure this is Buck?” Chim asked warily as Cap joined Eddie in leaning over the cat. He saw Cap glance over his shoulder and, judging by the way Chim jumped forward with his med bag, Eddie was pretty sure he had given the man a less than subtle warning look.

“Okay, what do we know?” Cap asked likely out of habit, since Eddie clearly knew about as much as any of them. He stroked the fur on Buck’s face, frowning when his whiskers barely twitched.

“He shouldn’t even have changed forms. Not with his leg…” Eddie trailed off as horror rose in him and he shuffled down to frantically check his leg.

“I’m sure he had a good reason for it, Eddie.”

His shoulders slumped in relief when he felt that the bone was properly aligned. As he carefully palpated the leg it twitched in his grip and there was an accompanying rumble from the cat. “Buck?” Eddie asked hopefully, leaning over him to see if he was coming around. Piercing blue eyes met his and Eddie felt tears threatening in relief. “You’re okay, it’s okay,” he reassured as he delicately stroked over his muzzle and up to his ear. It flicked in response. Just as Eddie found himself relaxing slightly and admiring the softness of the fur under his fingertips, he heard Buck’s breathing pick up.

“Buck?” The question, obviously, went unanswered but then the big cat started moving sluggishly on the floor. It wasn’t until Buck tried to heave himself upright with a soft mewl that Eddie jumped into action, his petting hands turning restraining as he futilely attempted to keep Buck horizontal. “Buck! Buck, hey! You’re okay; you’re safe. You need to lie still. Buck!”

“Buck!” The small cry from behind him was what seemed to make Buck pause. His big head swung around towards Chris but the movement seemed to unbalance the slightly upright position he’d managed to get himself into and he flopped back onto the wet concrete.

Eddie’s heart ached as he watched Hen carefully place Chris next to Buck and his son curl over Buck’s neck. The cat chuffed and then began to purr. He surreptitiously wiped his eyes before he began lightly carding his hands through Chris’ hair and Buck’s mane.

“Eddie, we need to get him changed back so we can check him out; I don’t think any of us are familiar enough with lions to be able to do it with him like this.” Cap pointed out after allowing him a moment to soak up having his boys safe and with him.

When he looked up he saw Chimney standing next to Cap holding a syringe and eyeing Buck. Eddie frowned at the look on his face; there was something about it that was raising his hackles. Just because Buck was a lion it didn’t mean he was suddenly a different person. “I’ll take that.” He held his hand out in demand, his tone sharper than maybe it needed to be, but Chimney offered no complaint and very quickly passed it over.

“Chris, baby, I need you to back up a bit.” The boy looked up, revealing his wet face and tear filled eyes.

“Why? I want to stay with Buck!”

“I know and you can but we need to get him to change back to his human form so we can help him, okay?” Chris’ lip began to wobble.

“W-Will it hurt?” Eddie winced. He didn’t want to lie to his son but he could see a promise of a fight on his face if Eddie answered in the affirmative.

“It might be… uncomfortable but we have to make sure he’s okay. Like when you have to get injections at the doctors. It hurts a bit but it’s so you don’t get sick, right?” Christopher was already shaking his head and then threw himself over Buck again as if he could protect him. It killed Eddie to see the distrusting look aimed at him.

“No! No, you can’t hurt him, daddy. I won’t let you!”

“Mijo-”

The impending argument was interrupted by Buck flinching on the ground as he let out a low mewl. Both Diaz boys gave concerned calls for the cat but then Cap grabbed Chris up and hauled him away, allowing Eddie to move closer to try and help.

“Buck, hey, it’s-” This time it was the horrible sound of bones snapping and grinding that interrupted him. Eddie could do nothing but sit back, cringing with every pained sound Buck couldn’t hold back, as the cat shifted back to human on his own.

Finally, finally, it was over, leaving a panting and naked Buck curled in on himself on the cold pavement. Eddie shucked his jacket and draped it over him, softly growling when even that touch had Buck whimpering. “I know, I know, cariño. You did so good. I know it hurts but you’re okay. We’ll take care of you.” The litany of praise and reassurance continued to fall out of his mouth subconsciously as he gently checked Buck over.

His leg was warmer than the rest of his body, likely inflamed from the absolute battering it had been put through today. There were also cuts and scrapes of various sizes all over his body that had been hidden by his fur but stretched wide by his shift. The worst cut was on the side of Buck’s face, a harsh jagged mark high across his cheek. It was bleeding sluggishly but Eddie didn’t think it would need stitches. A part of him desperately hoped it wouldn’t scar; he didn’t think any of them would need the constant reminder of today.

“How is he?” Cap asked, worry clear in his voice even though he was trying to disguise it. Chris had gone quiet in his arms but was watching closely as Eddie inspected Buck. The cat didn’t so much as twitch as Eddie’s warm hands roamed his body.

“Mostly okay. Just exhausted I think. And probably dehydrated,” he added as an afterthought. Cap nodded and then looked around them, frowning at the people who had edged closer when there was no longer a massive lion standing in the street.

“We have to get him out of here.” Eddie followed his gaze and was unable to stop a low protective growl. He knew Cap was assessing him but Eddie just did not have the willpower to rein himself in right then. Not when both his boys had been in danger and he hadn’t done a single thing about it.

“I want to go home, Dad.” Chris’ voice was shaky but he gave no indication that he needed to be back in his arms. Eddie thought that was more a testament of how worried his son was about his best friend than about how much he needed Eddie’s comfort.

He nodded determinedly whilst he stared his captain down. “We’re going home right now, mijo, we’ve just got to get Buck in a car.”

“Eddie-”

“I’ll take him to his doctor tomorrow, Cap, but there’s nothing they can do for him here that I can’t do for him at home.”

Cap considered this for a moment, his gaze flicking back to where every member of medical personnel were rushed off their feet and back to Buck who had begun shivering on the ground. Eddie was barely holding himself back from scooping the cat up and making a break for it. But then he was being given a nod of assent.

“Okay, I’ll see about organising you transport back to the station. Chim, find Buck something to wear.” The man was already running off before Cap had even finished the order.

Cap’s eyes followed him before he sighed and shook his head. Eddie kind of wanted to hunt him down and shake some sense into him but he refused to draw attention to Chim’s reaction in case Buck was with it enough to recognise it too. He exchanged a telling look with Hen. She grimaced in apology but he could see the resolve in her eyes. If anyone could get through Chimney’s thick skull it would be her. Besides, Eddie would be just as likely to knock him out as he was to knock some sense into him with the way he was feeling right now.

Cap placed Chris back down before he disappeared off. Hen took off her own jacket to drape over Buck, ran a hand through his dishevelled curls, and then left to help more people. Eddie sighed as he turned his attention fully back to his boys, dragging Chris over so that he was sat in his lap rather than on the hard ground, though he knew the boy would much rather curl up on top of Buck. Thankfully Chris was the most considerate kid ever and settled for just keeping one hand on Buck’s arm instead.

“You okay, Superman?”

“He saved me, dad.” Eddie tightened the arm he had wrapped around Chris’ waist and buried his nose in his hair, desperate to breathe in his kid’s scent.

“I don’t doubt it; Buck’s a hero.” That got a much more enthusiastic response as Chris nodded vigorously.

“It was so cool. I mean it was really scary when the wave came because I couldn’t hold on but then Buck caught me and we climbed on top of a fire truck! And then he saved loads of people and we played games. It was fun; Buck’s really bad at ‘I Spy’.” Eddie was in awe as Chris giggled. “But then the truck shook really badly and I fell back in the water. A really nice lady and her husband carried me until Buck found me again.”

Eddie felt tears burning in his eyes and couldn’t stop them from leaking down his face. “Yeah?” He croaked.

“Yeah! I was a bit scared at first ‘cause I didn’t know he was a lion but I knew it was him. And the lady helped me onto his back and I got to ride him all the way here. It was so cool, Dad! Do you think he’ll let me ride him again?” Eddie chuckled.

“I’m sure he will if you ask nicely.” He couldn’t recall Buck ever saying ‘no’ to Chris before and he couldn’t imagine the cat would be saying ‘no’ now. Especially when faced with Chris' absolute joy over his animal form.

He had always been intrigued as to what kind of cat Buck was but had put his secrecy down to the usual cat prerogative to be as mysterious as possible. Except Buck had never really been like that. Now Eddie was pretty sure it had been self-preservation. Lions were one of the most powerful animals and then you add that to them having human intelligence? That kind of combination meant people gave them a wide berth. It didn’t help that, as far as Eddie knew, lion shifters were incredibly rare in the States. Meaning Buck being Buck had had the incredible luck to somehow be bitten by one of those raw few.

A part of Eddie did wonder if Buck had gone searching for a lion shifter to turn him purposefully but immediately dismissed the idea; surely if this was what Buck had wanted he wouldn’t be hiding what he was. Eddie dragged his thoughts under control before he could fall down that rabbit hole, unwilling to consider what it meant if this wasn’t what Buck had wanted and exactly why Buck didn’t have a visible bite.

Lost as he’d been in his thoughts Eddie didn’t notice Chim or Cap come back until Cap was placing a hand on his shoulder. The touch jolted him back to the present and, in the split second he wasn’t sure who was next to him, he let out a bone chilling snarl and his hands tightened on his boys. The touch retreated as quickly as it had appeared and Eddie was embarrassed to see his Captain next to him.

“Sorry, Cap,” he muttered and averted his eyes.

“It’s okay, Eddie; it’s been a long day. Here’s some clothes for Buck, did you need a hand getting him into them?” Cap looked down at Buck in concern and Eddie could see that he wanted to help. So, although the darkest most possessive parts of him didn’t want anyone else seeing so much of Buck, he rationalised that Cap was Buck’s dad in everything but blood and wasn’t a threat to Eddie’s claim.

He almost jerked back in horror at the unbidden thought. Claim? He didn’t have a claim on Buck. Dios, he knew he wanted one but he had always known he didn’t have the right and probably never would. Why someone as incredible as Evan Buckley even gave Eddie the time of day was still a mystery to him.

Between the two of them they managed to manoeuvre Buck into the spare uniform Chim had found and propped him upright. The cat was leaning heavily on them both but kept his feet under him and stumbled along as they gently pulled him towards a Battalion Truck.

“I’ll drive you back to the station if you can handle them from there?” Cap offered after they’d gotten his boys settled. Eddie agreed quickly and reluctantly slid into the passenger seat, unhappy to be separated by even this miniscule of a distance from both Chris and Buck but also unwilling to crowd them by sitting in the back. That didn’t mean he didn’t keep his body twisted back over the centre console just to be as close as possible the entire drive though.

Both his boys fell asleep almost immediately, Buck slumped against the window and Chris slumped against Buck. Eddie smiled softly when he saw Buck unconsciously put a protective arm around Chris and his son nuzzle closer with a content sigh. He couldn’t resist reaching out to put his hand on Buck’s knee, desperate to keep a point of contact, a reassurance that they were both really here. Bedraggled and exhausted but safe all the same.

“I’ll check in with you tomorrow. Get some rest, Eddie; you’ve earned it.” Cap said as they finally pulled into the car park right next to Eddie’s truck. He swallowed heavily and avoided his eyes as he climbed out. I haven’t earned anything he couldn't help thinking as his eyes once again catalogued the state of his boys. He’d done nothing at all to help the two most important people to him and had obliviously worked all day helping other people. He knew the thought was uncharitable but he couldn’t shake the instinctive idea that he’d failed them. They’d needed him and he hadn’t been there.

Eddie got his still sleeping son secured into his car seat and turned around to find Cap supporting a barely conscious Buck. He stepped back to open the passenger seat but Buck lurched forward to clamber over Chris before collapsing next to him, a hand reaching out to clutch at one of Chris’ limp ones. A lump formed in Eddie’s throat. Clearing it as best he could, he stepped forward again and reached over the boy to cup Buck’s stubbled cheek.

“He’s okay, Buck. I’m so grateful and so proud of you. You did so good, Ev.” Watery blue eyes stared into his own and he made sure to hold the gaze even when tears started to slip down over his hand and the cat shook his head slightly. He rubbed his thumb gently over his cheekbone, “Let’s get you home and tucked into bed. We can talk more later, okay, cariño?” Eddie murmured, uncaring of Cap hovering by his shoulder.

“Eds, I’m so sor-” He moved his thumb to press against Buck’s dry lips, forcing himself not to focus on the soft pillowy texture of them.

“No, Evan. You don’t get to apologise for saving my son in a natural disaster.”

“I didn’t-”

“You did.” He wanted to press the words into Buck’s very soul. “That’s how he told it and I believe him.” Eddie gestured his head at Chris.

Buck’s eyes slid over to the sleeping boy. Eddie watched as his face softened so wholly he looked seconds away from melting into the seat. Disbelief and awe were written all over his face. Eddie moved his hand from Buck’s cheek to where he was holding Chris’ hand. He brought their joined hands up to his mouth and placed a kiss on the back of both of them. “Let’s go home.” Buck nodded tiredly and leant closer to rest his head lightly against Chris’. Tears threatened in Eddie’s eyes again and he forced himself to peck a final kiss before releasing them.

He carefully pushed the door closed and offered Cap a strained smile when he met his concerned gaze. “Let me know if any of you need anything.” Cap’s hand gripped Eddie’s shoulder and a part of him wanted to surrender to the support offered but he needed to stay strong. At least until he’d gotten his family home and tucked away safely.

“Thanks, Cap,” he croaked. Cap nodded with eyes full of understanding.

“Alright, good work today. Good night.”

Finally left mostly alone, Eddie took in a shaky breath and tipped his head back to stare at the sky. It was times like this when he missed Texas and the endless stars. After taking a moment to gather himself again Eddie rounded his truck and climbed in. He glanced back to see his boys curled up together fast asleep and allowed himself a moment to smile fondly at them before driving them all home.

Chapter 31

Summary:

Eddie does his best to take care of Buck but is it enough?

Notes:

TRIGGER WARNING: There are descriptions of mild self harm and self-deprecation in this chapter. Please be mindful of your triggers, details are in the end notes ❤️

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Eddie took a fortifying breath as he turned his truck off. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw that both Chris and Buck remained dead to the world. He was thankful they’d remained asleep the entire drive if only because they’d need the extra energy to make it through getting cleaned up and into bed.

He took Chris inside first, soothing Buck when he stirred as the boy’s warmth disappeared from his side. With Chris deposited on the couch, on a towel to protect the cushions, he went back outside to retrieve Buck. He did his best to ignore the small thrill that went through him as he lifted the cat bridal style and cradled him close to his chest. It probably looked odd, seeing Eddie carrying someone who was bigger than him like this, but he couldn't care less if it meant Buck was as comfortable and secure as he could be.

He carefully placed Buck down on the sofa next to Chris before switching and picking Chris up again. The boy came half awake when Eddie started stripping him of his filthy clothes, tossing them in a pile on the bathroom floor to be thrown away after. His heart broke a little as his son let out little distressed noises when the water from the shower hit him but Eddie knew it’d be worse to put him to bed in his current state. Who knew what had been in the water with him.

He had just finished rinsing out Chris’ hair when the bathroom door was suddenly flung open. Eddie startled but wasn’t overly worried, knowing it could only be Buck. He was concerned, however, by the wild look in the cat’s eyes as he stood, chest heaving, in the doorway.

“Buck?” There was no answer but Buck stumbled closer. Chris made another whining noise and Buck immediately rumbled back. Eddie closed his eyes briefly. Of course . Buck had clearly heard Christopher and had come running to his rescue, his own exhaustion be damned.

Eddie reached out as soon as Buck was close enough to stroke his arm soothingly. “He’s okay, Buck; I’m just getting him clean and then it’s your turn, okay?” Again Buck didn’t say anything but he did sink down to sit next to the shower, one hand wrapping around Eddie’s ankle as if he needed to hold onto something. Not questioning it, Eddie quickly finished showering his kid and wrapped him in the biggest towel, all without dislodging his best friend.

When Chris was dry he reluctantly left Buck on the floor, seeing as he had already fallen back asleep, whilst he got Chris into his pajamas. There was only a moment of consideration before Eddie carried him into his room and tucked him into the middle of the bed. He didn’t want Chris out of his sight tonight and he was fairly confident Buck wouldn’t do well away from him either right now.

When he got back to the bathroom Buck was exactly where Eddie had left him. He let out a soft whine at the sad picture he made before he crouched next to him, reaching out to stroke his hair. “Come on, Ev. Quick shower and then you can sleep in a nice comfy bed.” The cat’s eyes slitted open but the blue was hazy and unfocused. Eddie hooked his hands under Buck’s armpits and hauled him upright. The other shifter swayed a little before he leaned forward to rest against Eddie.

“Eds?”

“I’m right here, cariño. Let’s get you clean real quick, yeah?”

It was easy to keep his mind away from Buck’s naked body when said body was so visibly bruised and hurting but he still wanted to growl his approval at how pliant and trusting Buck was in his arms. The cat tilted his head at Eddie’s gentle touch and easily gave him his weight when Eddie softly asked, turning this way and that, just letting himself be looked after.

Eddie cleaned him as thoroughly and as quickly as he could. He still made sure to massage Buck’s conditioner into the cat’s curls though, conscious of the amount of research Buck had done (and consequently told Eddie all about) on how to look after his hair properly. He remembered listening raptly, fantasizing at the time that one day he’d get to look after Buck the way he deserved. He could have never predicted it’d be under circumstances like these.

Buck sighed contentedly as Eddie lightly scratched his scalp before carefully rinsing it out, cupping his hand to stop the water from running down his face. “There we go, you did so good, Ev,” Eddie praised as he helped the cat out and wrapped him in a towel. As he tucked it around him, Buck leant forward again and buried his head into Eddie’s shoulder. He lifted a hand to rub at the back of Buck’s neck before trailing it down to press between his shoulder blades, encouraging the other shifter closer. He was unsurprised when Buck started purring quietly and rubbed his wet head against the underside of Eddie’s jaw. Uncaring of the moisture, Eddie grumbled back comfortingly as he let himself be scented. The addition of Buck’s slightly salty scent on Eddie’s skin along with Chris’ relaxed the last bit of tension he’d held onto since the moment he’d realised it was them outside of the field hospital.

Allowing himself time to soak in comfort from the embrace, Eddie didn’t pull away until he felt Buck shiver. “Okay, let’s go to bed.” The cat chuffed unhappily but still let Eddie pull and push him into clean clothes. Eddie was glad Buck was too out of it to complain that the clothes Eddie was dressing him in weren’t his own considering Buck had a drawer full of his things readily available. Eddie was trying his best to ignore his instincts but when he’d reached for some clothes for Buck he’d taken his own automatically. Right now Eddie needed every reminder he could that his boys were here and safe so he hadn’t been able to bring himself to put them back.

Eddie started to guide Buck to his room but frowned when the other shifter tried to veer towards the living room. “Buck, cariño, you need to sleep.” He received a grunt but no explanation. Figuring Buck needed something, or maybe he was hungry, Eddie continued to support him but let him direct where they were going. They slowly made their way into the living room, Eddie expecting to then head for the kitchen, but Buck stumbled over to the couch instead. The cat was just starting to sit when Eddie’s brain finally caught up.

“You’re not sleeping on the couch, Evan. Now come on.” He tightened his grip and forcefully pulled him down the hallway. Ignoring the confused noises, he rounded the bed and gently lowered Buck between the sheets.

“Eddie, I-”

“No, Buck. You’re not arguing with me about this.” Though the words were harsh Eddie could hear the pleading note to them as he pressed his forehead against Buck’s. Tears welled in his eyes again when Buck’s shaking hand lifted to cup Eddie’s neck.

“Okay.” It was whispered almost soundlessly but Eddie heard it anyway.

“Thank you.”

Buck let Eddie lay him back and tuck the duvet around him before he curled onto his side to spoon around Chris, who was still fast asleep. Eddie quickly changed into some of Buck’s clothes, refusing to think too much about it again, and then went back to his side of the bed and climbed in, breathing a sigh of utter relief when he was finally curled against Chris’ other side with his arm stretched over him and Buck to keep them close.

He met tired blue eyes over his son’s head. “Sleep, Buck. You’re safe now; we’re right here.” A hand grabbed onto his forearm and he watched as Buck ducked his head to press against Chris fully, clinging to them both. Eddie refused to fall asleep until he heard the cat’s breathing even out and his hold on Eddie loosened. Even then it was a long time before he felt safe enough to sleep himself.

Eddie jolted awake some time later with a gasp. Instinctively he tightened his arm to pull his boys closer, burying his nose into Chris’ curls. It was only when his arm slid across cold covers before meeting his son’s back that he realised something was wrong. His head shot back up, hoping Buck had just rolled out of reach, but, as Eddie feared, his side of the bed was empty. Being careful not to disturb Christopher, he hastily got up and went in search of his best friend.

Finding the rest of the house just as empty, Eddie was starting to panic but then he saw a figure slouched on the back porch, through the kitchen window. Blowing out heavily, Eddie cautiously pushed the back door open. “Buck?” He called softly. The only response was Buck’s shoulders hunching in. “Hey, what is it? You okay?”

“I-I-I don’t- I’m just- I’m so s-sorry, Eddie. I’m so sorry.” The shoulders hunched further as Buck’s body started to tremble and his breathing picked up. Alarmed, Eddie rushed to his side, gripping his shoulder as he crouched next to him.

“Whoa, hey, no, Buck. It’s-” The shoulder was ripped out from under his hand, almost unbalancing Eddie, as Buck curled protectively around his knees and began to sob softly. Eddie thought his heart might shatter from the devastated noises Buck was making.

Not even entertaining the idea of allowing the cat to pull away, Eddie curled his body around Buck’s back and bracketed him between his knees. His arms wound round Buck’s waist to pull him back snugly against his chest. “Shh, Ev, you’re okay. It’s okay. You’re safe now.” Buck rapidly shook his head, fighting Eddie’s hold and trying to curl forward even more. “Buck, baby, please. I promise you’re safe. I’ve got you, I swear.” Eddie wasn’t sure what to do as Buck continued to fight the comfort Eddie desperately wanted- needed -to give him.

“I lost him! I lost him, Eddie, I lost him. It’s my fault, it’s all my fault. I’m bad I’m bad I’m bad I’m bad-” A noise of pain was ripped from Eddie’s throat as Buck successfully squirmed away from him only to start rocking back and forth and pulling his hair harshly.

“No no no, Evan. You didn’t; he’s safe, I swear to you. You did so good, cariño. You saved him. Ev, please, stop.” Eddie curled his hands around Buck’s fists in an attempt to unwind them but it was futile. The best he managed to do was stop the harsh tugging but then Buck tightened his fists to pull the strands that way. “Stop, stop please, baby, please, please. I promise you you’re not bad. You’re so good Evan, always . You’ve been so good for me, to me, to us, baby, please stop hurting yourself. You’re scaring me.” Eddie admitted on a ragged plea and Buck seemed to finally hear him, his hands abruptly releasing his hair and thumping against the ground as they went limp. Eddie’s hand followed them down to curl around Buck’s wrists. He wanted to make sure the cat didn’t do anything else.

When Buck didn’t say anything the worry gnawing at Eddie’s stomach somehow intensified. “Buck?” He asked, almost afraid what response he would get. The face that finally looked up at him was wrecked. Buck’s eyes were red with tears streaming down his cheeks. His lip was swollen and bleeding slightly where he seemed to have bitten it. But it was the anguish that was twisting across his features that had Eddie shuffling closer until he was cupping Buck’s face tenderly.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I lost him.”

“Evan, you have nothing to be sorry for. You saved him. He told me you found him right away after the first wave, got him somewhere safe. Played games with him all day. Though you should know he thinks you’re terrible at I Spy.” Eddie laughed a little, hoping it would get a small smile out of Buck. For a moment Eddie thought it’d worked when Buck’s lips twitched but then his eyes scrunched closed as if in pain.

“It was the bodies.”

“Bodies?” Eddie didn’t want to force Buck to talk about it but he also wanted to take as much of the heavy burden from his shoulders as he possibly could. If he could he would take the entire day from him and Chris both, if only so his two sunshine boys’ lights were never dimmed.

“They were- they floated…past us. Didn’t want him to see.” It was Eddie’s turn to close his eyes as he pressed their foreheads together.

“Oh, Ev.”

“But after he…I lost him again after. I’m so sorry, Eddie.” He shook his head but kept the point of contact, wishing he could climb into his very skin just to keep him safe from his own mind.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s-It’s not!” Buck hiccuped before beginning to sob again.

“You were separated for a couple of hours, yes, but Dios, Buck, you still found him again. Despite everything . It was a natural disaster; there was nothing else you could have done. And you did a hell of a lot.” When the cat started to shake his head Eddie tightened his hold to keep him still. “Yes, you did. I know you inside out, Evan Buckley; I know you did absolutely everything you could and more to keep Chris safe. Jesus, Buck, you were barely conscious when you turned up at the VA!”

“I didn’t- I could have done more. I was too busy playing the hero to keep Chris safe!”

“You weren’t playing at anything, Ev.”

“I was! That little boy should have been my only concern! Instead I was across the fucking length of the truck, away from him. I wasn’t even watching him, Eddie!”

“Maybe. But you thought he was safe, right?” He lifted Buck’s head to make eye contact as he pulled away slightly. “You saved the person who needed you then and I don’t blame you in the slightest.” If only he could take his own advice. Eddie was well aware of the double standard he was setting for himself.

“Christopher needed me.”

“And you found him. You brought him back to me.”

“It’s not enough. I’m not enough. I’m never enough.” Eddie wasn’t sure how much more his poor heart could take as Buck cast his eyes shamefully downwards again.

“You are. Dios mio, Evan, you are enough! You are more than enough.”

“No, no.” Buck scooted backwards out of Eddie’s grip. “I’m never enough to save the people I love.”

“Ev-”

“I didn’t save Chris. I didn’t save Maddie. I didn’t save Daniel. What’s the point of me if I can’t save the people who mean everything to me?” The desolate way Buck said it and the sudden bleakness in his eyes disconcerted Eddie even as his very soul cried out at the painful words.

“Buck, I…You did. You saved Chris and you saved Maddie. You found them both and got them safe. I don’t…Who’s Daniel?” He asked tentatively. Buck’s endless blue eyes stared right through him; the cat seemingly suddenly far away. Eddie longed to close the distance but made himself stay put when Buck looked like one touch would shatter him completely. It burned him to do it but he would gladly set himself on fire if only to ease the grief evident on Buck’s face. He almost missed Buck’s whispered confession.

“My brother.”

Notes:

Buck pulls his own hair harshly and bites his lip until it bleeds as forms of self harm whilst he is very distressed about losing Christopher in the tsunami

Chapter 32

Summary:

Buck begins

Notes:

TRIGGER WARNING: There is reference to physical and emotional child abuse in this chapter, please be mindful of your triggers!

Chapter Text

“Your brother?” The question stopped Buck mid memory as he suddenly remembered Eddie was with him. Though why the wolf was bothering to be out here comforting him, rather than spending every second with his son, was confusing to say the least. Buck didn’t deserve it. Not when it was his fault Eddie might not have gotten to spend any more time with Chris ever again. If that couple hadn’t helped him… More tears welled in his eyes and he did nothing to stop them as they overflowed.

“Buck, hey. It’s okay, I promise; nothing that happened was your fault.” Eddie’s hand twitched towards him but never made contact. It made Buck want to cry more, even though Eddie’s reassuring touch was the last thing he wanted right now.

“It was,” Buck croaked, “it’s all my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t, Evan.”

“You weren’t there; you don’t know.”

“Exactly. I wasn’t there. I was too busy helping other people to save my son and my best friend. But that’s not my fault just as much as anything that happened to Chris wasn’t your fault. There wasn’t anything more either of us could have done. You think you failed him but, Buck, you never stopped trying. It was the same with Maddie. You never give up, Evan. And, look, I don’t know what happened with your brother but I do know whatever happened wasn’t your fault and if I need to talk to Maddie so she can convince you of that then-.”

“No! Don’t- You can’t talk to Maddie.” Buck’s heart sped up at the mere idea; he could not have Eddie talking to Maddie about Daniel.

“Buck…”

“No, you don’t understand! She doesn’t know that I know, okay?”

“What do you mean?” Eddie’s nose wrinkled in confusion. Buck ran a hand through his hair. Suddenly Eddie’s hand was a burning grip around his wrist as he yanked Buck’s hand away. He blinked at the wolf in confusion, the tears momentarily slowing at the abrupt gesture.

“Eddie?” The man only shook his head but his hold didn’t ease, instead he pulled Buck’s hand into his own lap. If Buck wasn’t in such a state he would have been blushing up a storm as his hand was placed on Eddie’s thigh.

“What happened with your brother, Buck?” The question derailed any and all of Buck’s pleasanter thoughts. He desperately wanted to retreat but found it impossible under Eddie’s sympathetic yet determined gaze.

“Daniel.” His name came out strangled from Buck’s lips but Eddie nodded encouragingly, squeezing his wrist. He found the strength to continue; the wolf deserved to know just how much of a failure Buck was after all.

“He was seven when I was born. When he was four he was diagnosed with juvenile leukemia. They- My parents tried everything but he- Nothing worked. They-They…” Buck closed his eyes against the dawning horror in Eddie’s. “He needed bone marrow but…No one was a match. They had to- To save him…They made me. I was s-supposed to be a savior sibling. Some fucking savior.” A part of him expected Eddie to interrupt but the wolf seemed to sense that if Buck didn’t get it all out now he might never get it out. “I was made to save him. But I- I was a match in every way. Except…E-Except doctors can’t recreate the shifter gene.”

“You were born human,” Eddie said when Buck fell silent for too long, his tears a never ending stream down his face. Buck nodded, trying to swallow around the growing lump in his throat.

“Daniel was a shifter and I…wasn’t. I wasn’t enough of a match for the doctors to do the procedure.”

“That definitely isn’t your fault, Buck.” He shook his head but kept his eyes closed as he tried to form the words needed for the rest of the story.

“My parents, they…They’re not bad people. They just wanted to save their son. I was so close to being a match but I was human...”

“Evan, that’s not-”

“...So they made me a match.” He whispered the admission he had never said out loud before.

He remembered when his father had sat him down in his bedroom when he was seventeen. When he finally told him the truth. When he finally explained everything. Why they had to keep what he was a secret. Why Evan had never been enough his entire life. That he’d been born inferior. How his parents had tried to make him enough and still he’d failed.

“Buck…What do you- They made you match how?” He could hear that the words were said between gritted teeth. Eddie knew exactly what he meant but Buck could tell he was pointlessly hoping there was another meaning behind Buck’s words.

“My mum bit me when I was a month old.”

The silence that followed was heavy and all consuming. Buck trembled, but from fear or the slowly creeping cold he wasn’t sure.

She what?!” His flinch was instinctive but he dared not open his eyes to witness the anger he could smell and hear coming from the wolf. Instead he wrapped his free arm around his knees and hid his face in his knees again. His other wrist was still being held hostage by Eddie but surprisingly the grip hadn’t tightened even in his obvious fury.

“When I- After…They went to a different doctor. I don’t know what they told them but whatever it was they agreed to do the procedure. They did a bone marrow transplant but…There were…complications, I guess. My dad didn’t tell me exactly what but something was wrong so that meant the graft didn’t take and Daniel-” Buck took a deep breath as his throat closed around the words he was trying to force out. “He died when I was one.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Again, Buck didn’t acknowledge Eddie’s outburst.

“They moved us to Hershey and they pretended he’d never existed. Made Maddie promise to not tell me anything. Made me promise to never tell anyone what I was or that I wasn’t born a shifter when I was old enough to understand. Of course that doesn’t work with other shifters, “ Buck said wryly, finally lifting his head now that the worst was over. He still didn’t have the courage to look at Eddie though, scared to see the same disappointed look that Buck had been given all his life. Instead, he turned his head away to look out at the garden.

“They made up a story that I’d been attacked when I was younger. And that was what they told me too. It wasn’t until I was seventeen that Dad finally told me the truth. I don’t think Maddie or Mum know that he told me. Left home a couple of months later when I turned eighteen and haven’t talked to either of them since. I never told Maddie exactly why I left either. But I couldn’t-” He tensed his jaw as his eyes burned with the remembered anger and pain. “I couldn’t stay with them and the ghost of a brother I never even knew I was supposed to save and didn’t.” As Buck’s words finally dried up, the two of them sat in a heavy silence.

The only thing that was keeping Buck grounded was the grip around his wrist and Eddie’s spicy scent surrounding him. The scent was all over him and Buck thought he might never wash again if only he could keep it with him always. It hadn’t escaped his notice that he was in Eddie’s clothes but they were only a small comfort compared to having Eddie still sat solidly next to him. Not avoiding him nor yelling at him for almost getting his son killed yet. It was bewildering. It was incredible. Buck didn’t deserve it and now that Eddie knew the full extent of Buck’s failures he would see that losing Chris wasn’t a one-off or a fluke. He would finally acknowledge that Buck was the worst kind of person for even allowing himself to be solely responsible for him when he knew that he couldn’t be trusted.

So, Buck sat waiting for his best friend to withdraw and say something along the lines of ‘actually would you mind never coming near me or my son again lest you actually succeed in killing us like you did your brother’. But, as the minutes dragged by and Eddie only continued to breathe in a very controlled but very heavy manner that spoke volumes of his fury, Buck’s nerves got the better of him and he started fidgeting restlessly. Unable to take it any longer, he finally risked a glance at Eddie. He flinched when he saw Eddie was already staring at him. His brows were pulled down into a severe frown and his jaw was twitching as it tensed over and over but it was the overly bright eyes that had Buck subconsciously holding his breath.

“Ed-Eddie? Are you okay?” He asked timidly, his head ducking automatically in anticipation. Eddie’s expression instantly morphed into something incredulous.

Am I okay? Buck, you- You just told me your parents…” Eddie lifted the hand not curled around Buck to pinch the bridge of his nose. “No. No I am not fucking okay. Of course I’m not okay. Buck…Evan…Jesus Christ!” Buck flinched again and tried to tug his wrist free.

The action had Eddie’s eyes snapping open and burning into him. When the wolf rolled up to his knees in one fluid movement and started towards him, Buck shrank back instinctively. Eddie paused for a second but then his eyes hardened and he continued towards him. The hand on Buck’s wrist tugged hard and he went easily; not having the strength to put up a fight. He fell against Eddie with a soft oof. An arm immediately wrapping around his back and then he was physically hauled against his best friend’s body as Eddie sat back down.

Buck’s mind froze, wanting to flinch away from the contact, but his body trusted Eddie implicitly and his legs moved of their own volition until they were wrapped around Eddie’s body, leaving Buck straddling the wolf. He choked on a sharp intake of breath when he realised he was currently sitting in his best friend’s lap but Eddie didn’t miss a beat. He pulled Buck’s wrist behind his body and then let go to wrap both arms around Buck tightly and pushed his face into Buck’s neck.

There was a brief moment where Eddie seemed to inhale Buck’s scent, his nose pushing against his pulse point before he pulled back far enough to meet Buck’s eyes. “I am so sorry that happened to you, Evan. You didn’t deserve any of that, any of this; you deserve the world and I’m so sorry you only ever seem to be getting hurt by it. But I swear to you, cariño, I’m going to do everything in my power to prove to you that you are more than enough. There isn’t anyone in this world that I trust more with my son than you, Ev.” Buck tried to blink back his tears but Eddie’s gaze didn’t waver. His face was as intense and serious as Buck ever remembered seeing it. The message was clear: Eddie didn’t have a single doubt about his declaration. Eddie truly believed that Buck was enough and apparently trusted him to look after what was essentially his entire world despite all evidence to the contrary. Buck had no idea what to do with that knowledge.

Shaking his head, Buck again tried to pull away but Eddie stopped him simply by bringing a hand up to gently cup his face as if Buck were something precious. “I know you don’t believe me right now and that’s okay; I’m more than happy to spend the rest of my life showing you it’s the truth.” A ragged sob escaped Buck and Eddie’s hand slid around to the back of his neck so that he could pull Buck’s face into him. “It’s okay; it'll all be okay, I promise you.”

Callused fingers petted Buck’s skin and trailed through the short hairs at the back of his head as Buck lost the final hold he had on himself and sobbed fully into the crook of Eddie’s neck. He pressed his forehead firmly against the strong muscle there as his tears soaked Eddie’s shirt. Though, going from the smell of it, Buck had the distant thought that it wasn’t Eddie’s shirt at all.

When his cries eventually petered out into pathetic sniffles Buck sat back up. Eddie’s warm brown eyes were heavy with concern but there was also endless patience in their depths. Buck didn’t know how the wolf possibly thought him deserving but he now realised that he did. “Rest of your life, huh?” He intended to ask it jokingly though the words had already lodged deep in his heart and started an inferno of hope. Unfortunately, because of his gross crying stint, it was more of a croak than anything. The corner of Eddie’s mouth quirked up all the same so Buck wasn’t too embarrassed by his pitiful effort.

“Mmhm, that okay with you?” His nod couldn’t have been any quicker or any more enthusiastic. Eddie rewarded him with a full smile, his hand coming back to Buck’s cheek. Buck’s own smile slipped a little when Eddie frowned slightly and ran his thumb under Buck’s eye. “Good. We can talk more in the morning but you need sleep.” He wanted to argue but was thwarted when he yawned right on the tail end of Eddie’s sentence.

“Yeah, ‘kay,” he muttered as he clumsily clambered off of Eddie’s lap. Thankfully the wolf helped him up and kept one arm around his back as he led them both back to Eddie’s bed.

Christopher was still fast asleep where they'd left him and Buck curled around him with no small amount of relief. Some part of him had been aching for the boy since he left the bed and now that he knew Eddie somehow, someway, didn’t blame Buck he was able to relax into the comfort of just being able to see that he was safe with his own two eyes.

Eddie pressed himself along Chris’ other side but his arm stretched over him to hold onto Buck’s hip. His thumb slid under the shirt to stroke across Buck’s skin, sending goosebumps racing across his body. “Sleep, cariño.” Buck’s eyes fluttered closed of their own accord and he drifted off feeling more safe and settled than he had in a long time.

Chapter 33

Summary:

Eddie is officialy done with the pining

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Eddie’s eyes snapped open when he felt the small body next to him twitch and whimper. He was about to gather Chris close to him and attempt to comfort him but then he heard Buck’s hoarse voice. “Shh, Chris, you’re okay. You’re safe.”

“Buck?” The wobble in Chris’ voice had tears springing to Eddie’s eyes and he shuffled closer when he felt Buck pull the boy to his own chest. Buck lifted a hand to Chris’ cheek.

“Yeah, you’re okay, kid.” For some reason this had a weak giggle coming from Chris, filling Eddie with awe. He was sure his gaze was nothing less than adoring as he watched Buck easily reassure and even cheer up his son in a matter of seconds. How any of them could be smiling after yesterday Eddie had no idea but he couldn’t be more grateful that they could.

“See, t-told you.”

“You did, buddy; I didn’t doubt you for a second.”

“I’m li-like, Bisab-abuela,” Chris announced as he snuggled into Buck at the same time he brought Eddie’s hand up to his face too, scenting his wrist. Eddie let out a soft rumble just to let him know that he was there but didn’t interrupt the pair.

“Yeah? How so?” He could hear the amusement in Buck’s voice and felt himself relax for the first time since he’d woken up earlier to find the cat missing from their bed. He adamantly didn’t think about why Buck had left it in the first place; those thoughts and revelations didn’t belong in this moment.

“I’m always right!” Both Eddie and Buck chuckled at the boy’s confident declaration and his accompanying cheeky grin. It lacked its usual sparkling brilliance but the joy was real all the same. Eddie would take any small piece of their usual that he could get today.

“You absolutely are, Superman,” Eddie affirmed, meeting Buck’s eyes for the first time that morning.

They were still red rimmed and exhausted but they weren’t as terrifyingly bleak as they’d been only a few hours ago. There was still a heavy dose of doubt in them but Eddie had meant what he’d said: he was more than happy to spend the rest of his life proving to Buck that he was more than enough for anyone, let alone Eddie. He froze slightly when he suddenly remembered that Buck had even seemed onboard with the idea. So maybe all these months of hopelessly pining weren’t exactly hopeless anymore. The idea almost made him giddy. Who’d have thought that, after everything that had happened yesterday, he’d be struggling to contain a much too wide grin not even a full day after?

Buck seemed to catch sight of his smile and the corner of his lips turned up before he hid his face in Chris’ curls. It took all of Eddie’s self-control not to lift his head back up and kiss him square on the mouth. But now wasn’t quite the right time for that. Not when their son was cuddled between them and Buck was still struggling beneath the weight of his misplaced guilt.

Their son.

Eddie pressed his forehead against the top of Buck’s head and scrunched his eyes closed as his heart threatened to explode out of his chest. He knew that it was true, even without being witness to Buck’s devotion and love for their son, displayed so clearly, yesterday. But, again, now wasn’t the time to be putting that on Buck’s shoulders. Eddie would have to be content to keep it to himself. For now.

“Right, how about you two stay here and I’ll make us some breakfast?” Eddie suggested after they had been laying tangled together quietly for a while. Buck snorted and Chris twisted to give him a wide-eyed look.

“Absolutely not.”

“Dad!” He frowned at them as though disgruntled but he was secretly pleased at the usual teasing.

“I can manage breakfast,” he tried to defend himself.

“Yeah, no. You know I love you, Eds, but you are banned from cooking anything. In fact, I’m this close to banning you from the kitchen entirely.” Though the words were said in jest Eddie’s heart skipped a beat. It took a great deal of effort to force himself to not bring attention to them.

Looking away so that Buck wouldn’t see the effect of his thoughtless words, he ruffled Chris’ hair playfully. “You can’t ban me from my own kitchen, Buckley.” There was a moment of silence, making Eddie look back up and his heart lurched with hope when he saw Buck was blushing furiously and avoiding his gaze determinedly.

“Watch me, Diaz,” Buck muttered as he hastily climbed from the bed, almost falling on his face when he got caught up in the duvet. Eddie mashed his fist into his mouth to stop his laugh but Chris giggled loudly. Buck huffed as he righted himself and attempted to glare at them but the effect was ruined when Eddie saw his mouth turn up before being caught between Buck’s teeth. This caused Chris to laugh louder but Eddie’s humour was suddenly replaced by an all-consuming want as he avidly watched the bitten skin come out plump and shiny and so, so inviting. Down boy.

By the time he had gotten Chris up and ready for the day, Buck was already stood at the stove flipping pancakes. Chris exclaimed excitedly when he saw what Buck was cooking and Buck briefly grinned over his shoulder at him but quickly went back to concentrating on the food. Eddie hesitated for a moment as he watched Chris get settled at the table with a colouring book but ultimately he was weak to his own urges and unable to deny himself any opportunity to be close to Buck. Especially, not when he could have lost him yesterday without even knowing.

Trying not to overthink it, he stepped up behind Buck and curled his arms around his waist, rising on his toes a little so that he could comfortably rest his chin on Buck’s broad shoulder. The cat tensed and Eddie held his breath as he braced for rejection but then the other shifter melted back into him with a soft sigh. Eddie carefully released the breath he was holding and allowed himself to tilt his head slightly to better inhale Buck’s sunshine scent. A part of him wanted to nuzzle into the soft skin of Buck’s neck but he knew he would be swatted away, if only because it would likely distract Buck from making them the ‘perfect’ pancakes.

“You okay?” He asked quietly. Buck hummed noncommittally but he did lean back further, giving Eddie more of his weight. Eddie took it gladly, a pleased rumble giving away just how much he liked it. The cat titled his head so that their temples were pressed together briefly.

“I’m okay,” he replied just as quietly.

Though he’d expected that exact answer he was still saddened that Buck felt he couldn’t be honest with Eddie when he was struggling. He knew Buck wouldn’t want to get into it now, what with Chris not three feet from them, but it still hurt to know that he would rather suffer alone than share his burden. Eddie was determined to change that.

Eddie tipped his head down to nose at Buck’s pulse point, giving in far too easily to satisfy the urge. He heard Buck’s breath catch and the smallest of whines escape his mouth before it was bitten back. It made Eddie smirk and he barely restrained himself from pressing his mouth into the same spot. “We’ll talk about it later.”

“Eddie, I’m-“

“You’re not okay, Evan. And I don’t expect you to be. But I won’t let you keep it to yourself. So, when Chris is distracted enough, we will be talking about it. About everything.” He felt Buck open his mouth, undoubtedly to protest again but it would be a cold day in hell before Eddie allowed anything to hurt Buck when he could do something to stop it.

He nipped Buck’s pulse point punishingly. “That was not a suggestion.” Eddie thought Buck might push him away defensively but was surprised (and altogether too smug for his own good) when instead the cat shivered and leaned further into Eddie. He squeezed his arms tighter around Buck and pressed closer so that his lips would brush teasingly against the small red mark he’d left. “You’ll talk about it later with me, won’t you, cariño?” He purposefully made his voice low and soft, taking a gamble that Buck would find it as hard to resist as Eddie did when faced with that same tone from him. Buck’s quick nod was amusingly enthusiastic, even though he was still practically limp in Eddie’s arms. He huffed out a laugh which only caused Buck to shiver again as his breath washed over his skin. “Mm, good boy.” The whine this time was unmistakable and Eddie had to force himself to step away before Buck ended up pinned against the counter.

It seemed to take a moment for the cat to collect himself but then he threw Eddie an unimpressed glare and went back to making their breakfast. “You’re the worst,” he griped. Eddie’s smirk was wide and unrepentant.

“Oh yeah.” The words were nothing short of suggestive and Eddie couldn’t believe his own daring, having only just received a hint of confirmation of Buck’s feelings last night, but when Buck shuddered again Eddie knew he’d be playing this particular card every chance he got.

“Go sit down, you menace.” Buck flapped his hands at Eddie as he shooed him further away but Eddie could see that his cheeks were flushed and his pupils dilated. Grinning widely, Eddie held his hands up in surrender and beat a strategic retreat to the table.

Christopher giggled when Eddie pouted dramatically as he sat down next to him. A spatula was thrust in his direction as Buck pointed at him accusingly. “If you leave that chair again before breakfast is served you’re gonna be in trouble, Edmundo Diaz.”

“I didn’t do anything!” Eddie protested playfully. “Back me up, Chris.”

“You distracted him, Dad! You’re not allowed to distract Buck when he’s cooking; that’s the rule.” Chris sing-songed, reciting one of many rule’s that Buck enforced when he was cooking. Eddie was pretty sure this rule had been made when Chris had been too eager to show Buck his art one evening and dinner had ended up being irredeemably burnt.

“Exactly! Do you want me to burn your son’s pancakes?”

“Yeah, Dad!” Eddie narrowed his eyes at Chris in favour of blurting out the correction of ‘your’ to ‘our’. The boy grinned mischievously in an expression that was heart-stoppingly all Buck.

“He gets this sass from you.” He told Buck, who’s faux-glare immediately softened into something painfully wistful.

“No way, that right there is all Diaz attitude; I take none of the blame.”

“Pfft, nuh uh.”

“Yuh huh.

“Nuh uh.” Buck stuck his tongue out at Eddie childishly but he could see his eyes were finally sparkling with their typical joy. That he had contributed in lessening the agony that had been in them before made Eddie feel ten feet tall and he knew he was puffing his chest out ridiculously but he couldn’t help it. Eddie believed one of the greatest feelings in the world had to be knowing you were responsible for Evan Buckley’s smile.

“Alright, alright, shut up and eat your pancakes,” Buck grumbled as he put down a plate of pancakes in the middle of the table. Eddie winked at him as he helped Christopher fork far too many onto his plate. Buck rolled his eyes but immediately leant over the table to help Chris pour enough maple syrup to drown them without spilling over the edge of his plate. Eddie thought he would be a very happy man if he could simply keep this forever.

Making an executive decision, Eddie decided the three of them wouldn’t do anything more taxing than watch movies and eat snacks all day. Both of his boys had cheered happily but Buck’s smile had held an edge of relief that assured Eddie he’d done the right thing. They all cuddled up on the couch with Chris in the middle and Eddie’s softest blanket tucked around them.

They watched Finding Nemo and Finding Dory back to back, at Christopher’s insistence, and Eddie was worried when both of his boys teared up a little. Rather than call attention to it he stretched his arm around them both and snuggled closer. Buck sent him a half reassuring smile but Eddie could see the guilt was back in his eyes. He wanted desperately to pause the movie to comfort him but couldn’t bring himself to when Chris’ laugh rang around them in the next minute.

Eddie was however entirely unsurprised when Chris’ next pick was The Lion King. He felt Buck jolt and then the cat whipped his head around and stared at them incredulously. “That’s a great choice, buddy. I think Buck is a better lion than Simba though, don’t you?” Eddie made sure to keep eye contact with Buck as he spoke to Chris.

“Obviously, Dad; he’s way bigger than Simba. Plus, I got to ride him!” Buck seemed to choke on air as he turned wide eyes down to his son.

“Uh, I’m sure Simba is pretty big when he’s all grown up.”

“Yeah, but not as big as you, Buck. Can I ride on your back again?” Chris asked innocently as he looked up at Buck with hopeful eyes. When Buck shot a vaguely panicked look at Eddie, he raised his eyebrow.

“That, uh, that’s up to your dad.”

“I don’t see how, considering you’re the one that’s going to break your back carrying him everywhere.” Eddie replied dryly, not allowing room for Buck to doubt his sincerity. He trusted Buck one hundred percent; it didn’t matter which form he was in.

Please, Buck?” Christopher whined, giving Buck his best set of puppy-dog eyes. Eddie had no sympathy for Buck trying to say no to them, not when Eddie knew it was Buck who had taught him that expression in the first place. As expected, Buck’s resolve didn’t last for a second under the scrutiny.

“If you really want to you can but you have to be careful, okay? It’s pretty high up and I don’t want you to fall and hurt yourself.” The excuse was weak and he gave Eddie another fearful glance but Eddie only gave him a soft smile to try and reassure him. “And you need to keep it a secret, Superman.” The boy tilted his head and Eddie’s smile turned fond. Somehow he was only just realising how many gestures and expressions his son had picked up from his best friend.

“Why does it have to be a secret? Everyone knows Dad’s a wolf.” Buck rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and again looked to Eddie for rescue but Eddie happened to agree with Chris. Though he knew Buck would be discriminated against if the average person knew what his animal form was it didn’t mean Eddie liked the idea of him hiding any part of himself. Screw anyone who thought Buck was someone he wasn’t just because of something that was completely out of his control.

“W-well, some people think lion shifters are really dangerous and I don’t want them to be afraid of me.”

“But you’re not scary.” Buck blinked in surprise.

“You didn’t think I was scary when I found you? I growled at you; weren’t you worried? It’s okay if you were, Chris.” Eddie frowned at that; he hated not knowing everything that had happened to them.

“I was a little bit scared at first ’cause you were making scary noises and I didn’t know it was you but then I realised it was you and I wasn’t scared anymore.” The boy lifted a hand to brush against Buck’s birthmark and Eddie saw tears well in the cat’s eyes. “I knew you wouldn’t hurt me.”

The confident remark seemed to shatter something in Buck, causing him to gather Chris into a tight hug and bury his face in his hair. “Never,” he croaked out. Eddie’s heart hurt and he shuffled over so that he could pull them both into his arms, Chris ending up on his lap with Buck curling into his side.

They stayed that way for a long time until Chris eventually got tired of the smothering and wriggled away. Buck made to pull back entirely but Chris twisted so that he was sat on his lap instead, with his legs thrown over Eddie’s. Immediately, Buck curled an arm around Chris’ back to support him but he also tentatively slid his other arm between Eddie’s back and the couch. For his part Eddie kept his arm around Buck’s shoulders but dropped his other to Chris’ legs.

They watched the movie just like that, comfortably tangled in each other. Every now and then Chris and Buck would lift their heads to sing along to a song but it wasn’t long before they were both flagging and their eyelids were drooping.

“Buck?” Chris broke the sleepy quiet as the credits started to roll.

“Hmm?”

“Can you turn into a lion now?”

“I-”

“No, Chris.” Eddie interrupted quickly before Buck could do just that. However he must have spoken too quickly and Buck took it the wrong way. Eddie felt him flinch and start to retreat so he tightened his arm around him and brought his hand up to burrow his fingers into Buck’s curls as a silent apology. “Buck isn’t allowed to shift until his doctor says he can,” he explained.

“But he shifted yesterday.”

“Yeah and that was very dangerous; it could have hurt his leg again.” Eddie gave Buck a slightly reproachful look when he looked up at him but the cat only shrugged in response. Eddie wanted to growl at him but it wouldn’t be fair considering he knew Buck wouldn’t have shifted in the first place if he’d felt like he had any other choice.

“Oh. Are you okay, Buck?” There was a tremble in Chris’ voice and both Eddie and Buck immediately tightened their respective holds on him.

“Of course I am, Superman; your dad checked me over.”

“And I’m going to take him to see his doctor tomorrow so they can let us know when Buck can shift again, okay?”

“...Okay.”

Buck started rubbing Chris’ back to soothe the boy and Eddie massaged his calf muscles as best he could with one hand. As Chris inevitably fell asleep against Buck’s chest the cat fidgeted until he could lift the boy without jostling him. “I’m gonna put him in his bed whilst he naps.” Eddie ran a finger down the back of Buck’s thigh as he stood with Chris secure in his arms, not missing the slight shiver it caused and chuckling at the glare Buck threw at him.

“Okay, cariño. I’ll put some coffee on for us.”

Notes:

Shout out to dbakeiro for the suggestion of them watching The Lion King, I couldn't resist!

Chapter 34

Summary:

Buck and Eddie finally get somewhere

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Buck lingered in the doorway of Chris’ bedroom after he had put the kid to bed. Half because he felt like his heart was going to rip itself out of his chest as soon as the boy was out of sight and half to put off this conversation with Eddie.

Buck just couldn’t believe that Eddie genuinely wasn’t mad at him. For God’s sake he’d almost got his son killed and then had also revealed that he was a lion within the span of a few horrific hours. Yet here he was, in Eddie’s house, having spent the night and day with both Diaz boys never more than a few feet from him. Not to mention Eddie saying he wanted to spend the rest of his life proving that Buck was worth something. Buck had no idea what that even meant.

And then there was the cuddling . Eddie had been tactile with him from the start and that had only increased after Shannon had left, and then again after the whole ladder truck incident (though Buck thought a lot of that had been out of necessity and Eddie’s dad instincts more than anything else). But this was on a whole other level. Buck was absolutely loving every second of it but he was also fairly sure he didn’t deserve any of it. Yet even after Buck’s revelations, not just yesterday but last night as well, Eddie was still reaching for him whenever he was within touching distance. And he seemed to be within touching distance almost all of the time.

There was a part of Buck that hoped that this meant Eddie was starting to reciprocate Buck’s feelings but he had forcibly reminded himself that he’d thought that before and then Eddie had revealed he had a secret wife and then had gotten back together with said wife so…

Finally unable to put it off any longer, Buck reluctantly made his way to the kitchen. Eddie was already sat at the table but he was sitting sideways in the seat and the second cup of coffee was placed in front of the chair next to him rather than across the table. Buck raised an eyebrow in surprise, having expected that for a serious talk Eddie would have wanted physical distance when he couldn’t have emotional distance. He quietly sat in a mirror of Eddie’s position and his lips turned up helplessly when Eddie immediately tangled their legs together. The wolf didn’t say anything though, simply watching him as he sipped at his coffee. Nerves started bubbling in his stomach making Buck drop his gaze to his lap, twisting his fingers agitatedly.

A golden hand reached out to cover Buck’s scraped up ones. “Hey, talk to me.” The soft entreaty had Buck looking up from under his lashes. Eddie’s gaze was so warm and soft it made Buck want to cry. Sniffing back the tears, he forced himself to speak.

“What did you want to talk about?” The wolf hummed contemplatively as his thumb stroked over the back of one of Buck’s hands.

“Well, first I want you to tell me how you really are?” When Buck opened his mouth to immediately assure him that he was fine, Eddie’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “The truth, Evan.” Buck deflated.

The truth? The truth was he wasn’t sure how he was still breathing or why the universe had even allowed him to live. The truth was Buck sometimes thought it would have been better and easier for everyone if the ladder truck had landed a bit higher up. “I don’t- I don’t know…I’m- It’s…difficult.” Eddie nodded slightly sadly, as if he heard everything Buck wasn’t saying.

“That’s okay. No one expects you to be fine, least of all me. But I need to know that you’re not going to try and bottle everything up and that you’re going to let me be there for you.” A tear snaked down Buck’s cheek without permission. There was a wounded noise from Eddie and then his free hand cupped Buck’s cheek and gently wiped the traitorous thing away.

“I don’t deserve you,” Buck blurted out, made vulnerable by seeing his pain reflected on Eddie’s face, as though Buck hurting was hurting him too.

“Cariño. Of course you do; I’ve been thinking it’s the other way round.” His lips twisted into an ironic smile but Buck could see something brewing in his eyes. He frowned at him.

“I almost got your kid killed, Eddie.”

“You were in a natural disaster, Buck; that’s hardly your fault.”

“I looked away!”

“We’ve been over this. You were helping the people who needed you in the moment-“

Chris needed me.”

“Both of you needed me and where was I? Helping other people.” Buck gaped at the vehemence in Eddie’s voice and, now that he was looking properly, he could see guilt plainly written all over Eddie’s face.

“You were doing your job, Eds. You didn’t even know that I’d taken him to the pier.” He curled his hand around Eddie’s wrist as the wolf kept Buck’s face cradled in his palm. Eddie took a deep breath as he closed his eyes but then he nodded slightly and looked back at Buck with a burning intensity.

“Exactly. I didn’t know better and neither did you. You can’t predict a tsunami, Ev.”

“I should have,” Buck muttered mutinously. It startled a laugh out of Eddie.

“Yeah? How do you think you could have done that then? You got some secret superpowers I don’t know about?” Eddie teased.

Part of Buck wanted to let the moment lighten but the heavy guilt in the pit of his stomach wouldn’t allow it. “I knew the earthquake was gonna happen before it did.”

“Buck,” the wolf sighed but his face had softened into something excruciatingly fond. “You didn’t sense the earthquake coming.”

“I-“

“No. You had a bad feeling but that’s it. You didn’t know what it meant and there was nothing you did to let you feel it in the first place. Just because you sensed something then doesn’t mean you’ll ever sense something again. You didn’t know the ladder truck was going to blow up before it did, did you?” Their gazes held stubbornly but it was Buck who looked away first, slumping in defeat, having to admit that Eddie was right. “Exactly,” Eddie declared, taking Buck’s lack of answer as the admittance it was. “Nothing that happened was your fault.”

When Buck remained silent still, Eddie sighed again and shuffled closer. His hand slid across Buck’s cheek and under his ear to grip his nape. “Look at me, Buck.” He looked up slowly. “Do you trust me?” Buck blinked at the question.

“Of course. Always.” Buck was frankly shocked Eddie thought he even needed to ask.

“Then trust that I’m telling you the truth now. Please?” He blew out a breath. Those warm brown eyes held him captive and he was helpless against their pull.

“Okay.” It was whispered but his sincerity rang through clearly. It made Eddie smile widely.

“Thank you. I get that you’re going to struggle with this, probably for a long time, but let me help you.” Buck hesitated but then he nodded.

Eddie’s hand shifted upwards and his fingers brushed against the shorter hairs on the back of his head. He barely repressed a shudder at the sensation but, based on Eddie’s smirk, he thought he hadn’t done a very good job of it in the end. “Now, do we need to talk about the lion thing?” He gulped.

“Do you-“

“I don’t have a problem with it and I’m hoping I made that clear today but I need to check you got that message.” Tears welled in his eyes again but he blinked them away.

“Yeah. Yeah, I got it,” he rasped. It had been pretty difficult to miss when he’d been stared down by a wolf and a cub jointly, one pointedly and one pleadingly.

“Good. And obviously Chris doesn’t have an issue either.” The wolf rolled his eyes as Buck watched on incredulously. As if it was a completely natural reaction to have. As if their easy acceptance didn’t completely floor Buck.

“Kid’s fearless.” The croak seemed to sober Eddie up abruptly.

“He doesn’t need to be fearless with you.”

“I might hurt-“ Eddie snorted loudly before he could finish confessing the worry that was constantly nagging at the back of his mind.

“Evan, look me in the eye and tell me that you seriously believe you could ever hurt Chris.”

Suddenly feeling wrong-footed, he shrugged but was unable to meet Eddie’s eyes as he mumbled back, “not on purpose”.

Buck .” It was the exasperated tone that got to him. His shoulders rose instinctively before he forced them back down. They both knew Buck would rather die than hurt either of them, even accidently.

“Okay, okay. You know I would never hurt him,” Buck agreed, making sure to look Eddie directly in the eye. The wolf softened and used his hold on Buck’s nape to tug him closer to rest their foreheads together. Buck closed his eyes with a sigh as the point of contact eased the tension winding tight within him.

“I know that; I’m just making sure you know that.”

“I know, I’m just scared,” Buck admitted quietly.

He opened his eyes and was startled to see Eddie’s already open. This close his features were blurred and Buck suddenly became conscious of their breath washing over each other. His confession suddenly had more meaning behind it than he’d originally intended. Eddie titled his chin up slightly, causing his nose to brush against Buck’s and there was a shy smile on his lips. Buck almost flinched away when he realised he was now staring at Eddie’s lips and, worse, Eddie had caught him doing it.

It was Eddie’s gentle “that’s okay; I am too,” that gave him pause.

“Eddie?” he asked hopefully. In answer Eddie closed the rest of the distance between them.

Their lips brushed questioningly at first and then there was firm pressure, once, twice, three times. Buck melted into the kiss with a soft sigh, which Eddie used to his advantage by slipping his tongue carefully into Buck's mouth. It was a coming home. A release of the guilt and uncertainty hovering between them. And then it turned into hunger and greed as Eddie growled, pressing them together more roughly. Buck followed his lead eagerly. There was a prick of pain on his bottom lip as Eddie bit at it but the sting was wiped away by the wolf’s clever tongue. A whimper escaped him as he strained closer still. There was a rumble from Eddie’s chest and then Buck’s head was tilted just so and he was drowning in sensation.

He wasn’t sure how long they kissed in the dim light of Eddie’s kitchen, perched precariously on the chairs as they were drawn together, but he would have happily stayed there for hours more. Sadly, Eddie eventually pulled away but only far enough that their breath could still be shared. “Do we need to talk about this ?” For once Buck felt sure but he had to be completely certain when it came to the person who had claimed half of his heart so long ago.

“Did you mean it? When you said…” His confidence faltered but under the strength of Eddie’s steady, reassuring gaze he rallied. “When you said you would spend the rest of your life proving I’m enough.” A soft lingering kiss was pressed onto Buck’s lips.

“Every word,” Eddie said against Buck’s mouth.

“Good.” Buck took the opportunity to kiss Eddie then. The wolf hummed happily and let Buck pull on his hair until he had him where he wanted him. He devoured the pliable mouth under his in a futile effort to show Eddie everything he felt for him when he couldn’t say the words yet. Buck knew though that nothing could ever fully express the depth of his feelings.

When he pulled back, Eddie groaned and tipped forward to bury his face into Buck’s neck. Buck petted his hair until he felt a tongue stroking across his skin. He gasped and his fingers curled into the strands involuntarily. Eddie hummed approvingly and started adding his teeth to the mix. Buck almost shot off of his chair when Eddie latched onto his pulse point and sucked brutally before nipping him there.

“Eddie,” he whined. In response, Eddie chuckled lowly and pressed a kiss against the abused skin before sitting back up.

“Let’s go to bed, cariño.” Buck grumbled in displeasure and took his turn at licking at Eddie’s neck. He could feel the vibrations of Eddie’s laugh and happily chased them across the scruff-covered skin. The wolf moaned before gripping Buck by the hair and forcing him away. His whine of pleasure turned into one of disappointment as he was held away from Eddie but it was soothed by a tender kiss. “If you’re good for the doctor tomorrow we can continue this but for now you need to rest, Evan.”

As much as the stern tone had Buck’s heart racing, the reminder of how little sleep Buck had gotten last night had him yawning. Eddie was entirely too smug as he watched Buck fight a second yawn almost instantly following after. “Mmhm, that’s what I thought. Come on.” He leant in to press a kiss against Buck’s cheek and then dabbed another one lightly on the healing cut from debris that had struck him yesterday. Buck’s eyes closed reflexively and they glued themselves shut immediately. He heard Eddie laugh lightly again, felt lips against his forehead, and then he was being guided up by strong hands. “I’ve got you.” And Buck knew, with absolute certainty, that he did and always would.

Notes:

The moment we've been wating over 100,000 words for! 😘😘

Chapter 35

Summary:

After their kiss everything should be smooth sailing...right?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Morning came far too quickly for Buck’s liking. The night had been disturbed a couple of times by Chris’ and Buck’s nightmares alternatively. The boy astounded Buck when he was content with a hug before snuggling back down in his own bed after his, whilst Buck had shaken apart in Eddie’s arms and had stubbornly tried to stay awake simply so that the water wouldn’t return for them in his dreams.When he inevitably lost the fight, the water stole both Chris and Eddie away whilst Buck could do nothing but stand there, screaming, crying, begging. He had jolted awake to Eddie soothing him, even as he had to restrain him to stop his violent thrashing. Buck had cried into Eddie’s chest until sleep claimed him again.

Finally, Buck was lulled awake by sunlight filtering around Eddie’s blinds and a soft rhythmic stroking up and down his back. He almost didn’t want to wake up, sure that this was a dream and that the ocean was still lying in wait. But then he inhaled Eddie’s scent, which was ever so slightly spicy- worried probably- and he risked tilting his head back to see. “Morning, cariño,” the wolf murmured but his reassuring strokes didn’t falter. Buck’s next breath was shaky when he saw the gentle concern on Eddie’s face.

“Hi.” He was given a small smile but he could see the concern didn’t abate.

“How’re you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” Buck answered instinctively. One of Eddie’s hands stopped petting him to curl around his nape.

“Evan.” He buried his face back into the solid chest to hide the tears that immediately welled.

“Tired. Scared. But I’ll be okay, Eds.” The wolf sighed and he tried not to curl up at the idea that he might have disappointed his…his what? It’s not like they’d concretely decided what they were last night. And Buck knew that neither of them were to blame for that. Buck also knew he had felt sure of them last night but, after a night filled with either Eddie being taken away or pushing Buck away, his head was a little scrambled to say the least.

He did his best not to tense up as his thoughts started spiralling downwards but he felt Eddie stiffen, so clearly Buck wasn’t hiding it as well as he thought. Or maybe Eddie was already regretting everything. Maybe he’d finally found the blame and anger Buck had been waiting for all along.

His thoughts likely would have grown darker and darker, had he been left to his own devices, but, thankfully, Eddie decided to take matters into his own hands. The hand on his nape lifted to curl into his hair, and then his head was tipped back and a pair of lips crashed into his. His mind was filled with static as his spiralling was scuppered entirely. Buck melted into the kiss, his easy capitulation seeming to relax Eddie in turn as the kiss turned into something slow and tender. It was impossible to doubt anything when faced with such strong evidence. The hand in his hair ran down to cup Buck’s jaw and he whimpered as Eddie’s thumb dipped down to press into the soft spot underneath. Taking Buck’s cue, the hand continued its journey until Eddie’s palm rested against one side of his neck and his thumb rested on the other in a loose hold. Buck was pretty sure he was seconds away from liquifying. His body felt heavy in the best way as he surrendered to Eddie easily.

When the wolf finally pulled away Buck was too dazed to even whine his disappointment. The thumb on his neck brushed along his jaw before pushing on it so that Buck’s face was completely exposed to Eddie’s assessing gaze. “Mm, that’s better.” The syrupy, self-satisfied tone had Buck opening his eyes. He was met by a face that was every bit as smug as it had sounded. Buck couldn’t really protest though, considering it was well deserved. He wasn’t sure his thoughts had come back together enough for him to retort anyway.

“Now, tired and scared, huh? That everything?”

“Um,” was the best Buck could manage.

“Buck?” The wolf raised an eyebrow demandingly.

“You gotta…let me think…I’m not- You can’t just kiss me like that and expect me to be able to function after.” That earned him a low chuckle and a hand was pressed into his lower back to pull him closer.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he said insincerely.

“No, you’re not,” Buck grumbled.

“No, I’m not.”

He sighed as his thinking finally came back online. “I’m scared that I’ll lose you, both of you. Because of the wave or because of m- something else,” he rushed to correct himself before he ruffled Eddie’s protective feathers. The wolf considered him for a long while.

“You’re scared you’ll do something to lose us?” He lowered his eyes as he shrugged as best he could, plastered as he was to Eddie’s front. “Buck, baby, there’s nothing you could do that would make us leave you. Nothing. I can’t promise that a tsunami or an earthquake or any other godforsaken thing the universe wants to throw at us won’t try, but I can promise it would never be anything you did. And if another natural disaster does try and strike us down, I can promise you we’re going to fight like hell to stay with you. You’re ours, Evan Buckley.”

The last declaration was growled against Buck lips before they were claimed again in a possessive kiss. Buck was rolled onto his back as Eddie followed, blanketing Buck with his body. The wolf hovered over him but Buck yanked him down, desperate to feel his weight on him. He was more than happy to be pinned down by him.

Eddie pulled away eventually but he kept dropping back down to kiss Buck as if he couldn’t bear to actually stop. Finally, he burrowed into Buck neck with a groan.

“Fuck.” Buck smirked breathlessly as he rolled his hips up suggestively.

“Definitely but maybe-“ He was cut off by Chris shouting for them. The two of them shared commiserating grins as they shuffled back into a more appropriate position just in time for the boy to come barging in.

“Morning, mijo,” Eddie greeted. Buck was impressed there was only a hint of frustration in his voice.

“Morning!” Chris called back enthusiastically before he started clambering up onto the bed, aided by Eddie so subtly Buck was sure he wouldn’t be able to tell.

“Everything okay?” Buck asked, a little worried that he wasn’t immediately demanding pancakes. He nodded though and seemed happy to climb between them, his back against Eddie’s front and a hand gripping Buck’s shirt.

“Are you okay?” Christopher asked, tugging lightly. Buck shuffled closer.

“I’m fine, little man; worried about you.” His blue eyes were too serious for his young age as they ran over his face, much like his father’s had earlier, searching for the lie.

“Do you have bad dreams too?” The question was asked so innocently with only a small tremble giving away that Chris was still shaken up by his nightmare.

Buck raised his eyes to Eddie questioningly but the wolf didn’t move to intervene, letting Buck handle this. Trusting Buck to handle it. He looked back down at the little boy he had failed and tried to not be terrified that he was about to do it again. “Yeah, Chris, when something scary happens I get bad dreams. So does your dad. I’m sure your bisabuela and tia Pepa do too. The pier was really scary so it’s normal that we’re having bad dreams about it; what matters is that we talk about them with someone. You can always talk to me about anything, okay?” Christopher nodded slowly.

“Did you have bad dreams when you hurt your leg?”

Buck stiffened, the question conjuring images of the godawful nightmares he’d had after the ladder truck. And even last night there had been moments when the wave had crushed him and, suddenly, he was right back there, pinned on that street. This time he actively avoided Eddie’s probing gaze. “I did.”

“What did you do then? Did you tell Dad? Is that why you slept in here?” Buck’s throat was terribly dry though he was starting to sweat as he fought his rising anxiety.

“Yeah, when I woke up here with your dad I knew my brain had been lying to me. That it was only a dream. Sometimes it helped to walk around so that I could really know that I was here and not there. Does that make sense?” Buck thought he was doing a terrible job of reassuring him, and likely annoying Eddie by admitting that he hadn’t shared his struggles before, but he still tried. “And last night when I had a bad dream your dad hugged me really tightly and that helped a lot.”

“Dad gives good hugs.”

“He really does, doesn’t he?” He did look at Eddie then. The wolf was looking at him fondly but there was also a little sadness in his eyes. In an attempt to lighten the mood, Buck smirked at Chris. “I bet my hugs are even better though.”

“Hey!” Eddie exclaimed in mock offence. Buck quickly slipped his arms around Chris and hauled him in for a bear hug.

“Sorry, Eds, but my arms are bigger.” The boy began giggling wildly, squirming in Buck’s hold. Eddie snorted as if unimpressed but Buck saw his eyes caress Buck’s arms before aiming a heated look at him. A blush stole across his cheeks. The wolf smirked knowingly.

“Buck!” Chris cried when Buck refused to let go. He laughed as he set him free but the boy was immediately grabbed by Eddie.

“My turn!”

“Dad!” Buck laughed loudly at the cute pout on Chris’ face.

When Buck finally calmed down, he found both Diaz boys grinning at him. His smile was likely all kinds of adoring as he reached out to bring Eddie’s hand up to his lips, unthinkingly kissing his knuckles. Christopher’s gasp had him flinch back, coming back to the reality where the boy thought he and his dad were best friends and best friends only. “Um, I- Uh… Breakfast! I should make breakfast!” He got out of the bed as quickly as he could and disappeared out of the room before Chris could ask the inevitable question and Buck had to hear Eddie answer in the negative.

This thing between them was new. Hours old technically. Buck was well aware Eddie wouldn’t want Chris knowing yet and probably not for a long time. Hell, the kid’s mother and Eddie’s wife had only just walked out on them; Buck wouldn’t be surprised if Eddie didn’t want anyone to know for months at least. And yet Buck thought he could openly kiss Eddie like that? God, he was ridiculous. His thoughts screeched to a halt as something else suddenly occurred to him. Jesus Christ. Eddie still had a wife, legally speaking. What the hell did Buck think he was doing? Panic started stealing his breath and he rushed out of the kitchen to the back porch, trying to breathe deeply in the open air. It didn’t work. The air just wouldn’t go into his lungs. Just when the world was starting to look a little dark around the edges, there was a new tight pressure around his chest and his back was pressed to something solid. Something about the extra pressure weirdly made his lungs start working properly again. He frantically sucked in air.

Slowly he became aware of the quiet murmur in his ear. “Easy, easy. I’ve got you. You’re safe, Evan; just breath for me, cariño. That’s it, you’ve got it. You’re doing great, just breathe.”

“Eddie,” he choked out, his hands rising to grip Eddie’s wrists desperately.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you. You’re okay. Breathe, just breathe.” Now that his breathing had mostly returned to normal the shaking and tears came quickly.

“I’m sor-ry. I didn’t m-mean to.” He was turned around so that Eddie could crush him into a hug, his hand going up to curl into his hair as he seemed to like to do.

“What are you sorry for, hey? You haven’t done anything wrong, cariño; everything’s okay.” Buck shook his head, rubbing his nose into Eddie’s shirt.

“I-I k-k-kissed you. In front of Chris!”

“It’s not like you were sucking my dick in front of him, Buck.” He hiccupped in shock and pulled back to glare at the wolf. Eddie looked like he was trying to be serious but Buck could tell by his eyes that he was amused more than anything. “Is that what’s got you so worked up?” His hand slid from its place in his hair to mop up his tears. Buck was sick of constantly crying in front of the man he loved. He blinked, his eyes becoming unfocused.

“Buck? Evan, hey, come back to me. Baby?” Belatedly, his eyes swung back to Eddie, who now looked very concerned. “Ev?”

“I love you.” He blinked rapidly as more tears immediately sprung to his eyes. “God, God, fuck! I can’t- I can’t- I shouldn’t have told you that. I’m sorry. Pretend I didn’t say that. I’m gonna- Breakfast. I need to-“ Futilely, he attempted to get out of Eddie’s hold but the wolf’s arms had turned into steel bands and held him securely in place.

“Evan, stop.” The command froze him instantly. “Look at me.” He reluctantly did.

Eddie’s eyes were as intense as Buck had ever seen them, like he was staring straight into Buck’s soul. He wanted to shy away, not wanting Eddie to see all the damage that was in there, but the wolf’s gaze held him captive just as surely as his arms. Then the arms left him. Buck thought he would crumble to the floor but then there were hands cradling his face, holding him up. “Evan Buckley, I love you too. I don’t know what’s got you so freaked out about this but we’ll work it out okay? Whatever it is, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here and I love you.”

“I don’t…love you like that,” Buck whispered, finally managing to avert his eyes. The hands on his face tensed and started to pull away but then they paused. He heard Eddie take a breath as if bracing himself.

“Okay. How do you love me, Buck?” God, he didn’t want to have to say it out loud. But Eddie deserved to hear it if nothing else.

“I’m…I’m in love with you, Eddie.” He forced himself to look right into Eddie’s eyes, unwilling for Eddie to doubt him in this. So he got to witness as the tense lines around Eddie’s mouth disappeared within a blink and then the wolf threw back his head as he laughed loudly. Buck had never wanted to run away more in his life than right then.

Something must have tipped Eddie off because he sobered quickly but there was still a small, pleased smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “Cariño. Did you honestly think I didn’t mean it like that too? Of course, I’m in love with you. I thought I’d made that clear. I think I started falling in love with you the first moment I caught your scent and I’ve only kept falling since.” A lingering kiss was pressed against his lips. Buck reciprocated instinctively but his mind was swirling with confusion.

“Eddie, I don’t understand,” he whispered into the small space between them.

“What don’t you understand, Ev?”

“If you were… If that’s true then… You were feeling… that… but you were with Shannon? You were happy. I don’t… I don’t understand.” Eddie sucked in a breath. Buck felt bad that he was bringing her back up but he couldn’t reconcile what Eddie was telling him with how everything had played out. The heartbreak Buck had felt. “I don’t- I don’t want to upset you but… she hasn’t been gone that long. And you were so upset when she left and that she wasn’t… you know. But you were in love with me? I don’t… get it. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry for speaking your mind to me, Buck. Not ever. I get why you’re confused, cariño, and I will tell you everything but I’m not sure now’s the best time.” Buck started to pull away, feeling the sting of rejection, as irrational as it was. Eddie wasn’t saying never he was just saying not right now. But he couldn’t convince his hindbrain of that.

Eddie moved both of his hands from Buck’s cheeks to the back of his neck, effectively halting his intended retreat. “You have your doctor’s appointment and then we can have lunch, hang with Chris for a little while and then we can drop him at Abuela’s for the night, okay? She’s been blowing up my phone since she found out about you both being caught up in everything. So, we’ll go over, have dinner, Abuela can fuss over you for a couple of hours, and then Chris can sleep there and we’ll come home and talk, okay?”

“What-“ Buck licked his suddenly dry lips. Eddie’s eyes followed the movement, becoming heated. “What if he has a nightmare? Or he needs us?” The heat was replaced with… fondness. Buck couldn’t quite believe that what he was being told, what he was seeing, was real. There was no way Eddie was in love with him.

“Then we go get him.”

“Eddie-“

“Please, Evan.” The wolf pressed their foreheads together. Buck closed his eyes as he let himself relax into the point of contact.

“Okay.”

“Thank you. I know you’re confused but I do love you. So much.” Ridiculously, tears welled in Buck’s eyes once again. He sniffed them back with a vengeance.

“I love you too.”

Notes:

I'm sorry I can't stop making them talk to each other. Every time I think I can move on I think of something else they should probably talk about. I assure you I'm as frustrated by this as you probably are. Why can't they just be happy? They kiss, they love each other, happily ever after. WRONG! SUFFER SOME MORE.

Chapter 36

Summary:

Eddie and Buck talk. Again.

Notes:

As a treat for me disappearing for a while, here is a longer chapter than usual. Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Eddie was normally a very patient man. Even with the wolf side to him he was patient. Or perhaps he was more so because of his wolf side. But today was trying that patience like nothing else. Finding Buck in the middle of a panic attack had been terrifying. Realising part of his panic attack was because of Eddie had hurt.

He hadn’t thought much of Buck kissing his hand in front of Chris. Even after the cat’s hasty retreat and informing Chris that, yes, he and Buck were finally together, he hadn’t realised it would be a big deal to him. And then he’d found him barely able to breathe and tears pouring down his face.

Even after he’d calmed down and they’d gone back inside, Buck had still been jittery, nerves strung far too tightly and threatening to snap. All Eddie wanted to do was hold him close and promise that he and Chris weren’t going anywhere. But that wouldn’t do much more than the first kiss apparently had. It would tide them over for a spell but then Buck’s doubts would inevitably come creeping back in. So, Eddie knew the only thing that could truly help was to explain his side of everything.

Except they didn’t have any time for it right now. It left Eddie feeling even more helpless and frustrated than he already had been from the tsunami. Worse still, he was having to do his best to hide that from both Chris and Buck. Chris, because all he wanted was to be excited over the fact that he and Buck were together. Buck, because Eddie just knew that at the slightest whiff of Eddie being upset he would immediately blame himself.

Christopher came with them to the hospital; Eddie having made him an appointment with his specialist whilst Buck had his. He almost regretted that now, wishing he could be there to hold Buck’s hand too. It worked out that Chris’ check-up was over before Buck’s, so they sat outside Buck’s doctor’s office to wait for him.

His son was completely unconcerned as he was immersed in the book he’d brought with him whilst they waited. Eddie wished he could be that relaxed as they waited for Buck to emerge and whatever verdict he would be given. He hadn’t seemed to be suffering his usual amount of pain over the past day but he’d been struggling so much emotionally it was kind of hard to tell.

Pushing away any and all negative thoughts, he focused on watching Chris read his book. It was one that he and Buck had picked out together; Eddie having been relegated to holding the shopping basket as his opinions apparently ‘weren’t to be trusted’. The memory brought a smile to Eddie’s face just as the door swung open.

He stood quickly but was immediately reassured when he saw Buck was smiling widely. The doctor recognised Eddie from all the times he’d accompanied Buck before and shook his hand in greeting. “Eddie, it’s good to see you.”

“You too, Dr Travers.”

“Now, I wouldn’t recommend swimming through a tsunami as a typical course of treatment but it miraculously seems to have done the job here.”

“You’re okay?” Eddie asked Buck anxiously, his eyes flitting between the two men.

“More than; I’m cleared to go back to work!” The excitement was evident in his tone as he started bouncing where he stood. Chris cheered from where he was still seated and Buck took that as an invitation to sweep the boy into his arms and spin him around in celebration. Eddie watched fondly before looking to the doctor for confirmation. The man rolled his eyes but he was grinning too.

“He’s fully cleared for active duty. I do want him to come back in three months’ time for a final check in but there shouldn’t be any problems. He might experience a twinge or two but anything more serious than that; bring him straight back in.”

“Does that mean you can shift now, Buck?” Buck chuckled but Eddie could hear the nerves underneath.

“Sure does, buddy,” Eddie answered before Buck could, giving him a pointed look. The cat looked a little shy but he shrugged and then nodded.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Buck suggested quietly. Christopher cheered again, somehow even more loudly. Buck’s answering grin lit up his entire face.

“Thank you so much, Doctor.” Eddie shook his hand again, his own face stretched wide with a grin.

“It was my pleasure entirely. Now, I don’t want to see you before your next appointment, Buck,” the man ordered sternly.

“Scout’s honour.” Neither Eddie nor the doctor were convinced, the latter giving Eddie a sympathetic smile that said it all.

“I’ll make sure of it,” Eddie assured the man. If he had anything to say about it Buck was never going to be a patient again.

They picked up lunch from their favourite sandwich shop and ate it in the park. Chris was quick to run off to the playground after he’d finished his, but Eddie was content to lay back in the grass and keep an ear out. He thought Buck might follow after the boy but he surprised him by simply tilting his face up to the sun with a small smile. Eddie wanted to taste it. After a moment’s hesitation, he leant over and did just that.

Buck stiffened slightly, causing Eddie to tense, ready to pull back, but then the cat relaxed into it. His lips slid over Eddie’s and he gave a small happy hum before Eddie pulled back. “You’re so beautiful,” Eddie murmured, his hand coming up to card through Buck’s curls and then slide down behind his ear to cup the side of his neck.

The other shifter was stunning to Eddie, sitting here in the bright sunshine with his hair curling wildly and a relaxed smile perched on his plush lips. It had been a long time since he’d seen him looking so at peace. After this morning, the sight was incredibly welcome; a sign that Eddie hadn’t done any irrevocable damage with his thoughtlessness.

“I love you,” he added right on the tails of the compliment. Buck’s eyes clouded over a little and Eddie was already kicking himself but then the cat leant forward to peck Eddie on the lips gently.

“I love you too.” Their hands tangled instinctively as they pressed their foreheads together.

“Are you sure you’re okay with Chris knowing?” The question was tentative and quiet as a whisper.

“You should have heard him after you went to the kitchen; ‘are you finally together, Dad?’” Eddie raised his voice into a terrible approximation of his son. His efforts were rewarded by a surprised snort from Buck. The cat covered his mouth with his hand as if he could stop the following giggle from escaping. Eddie curled a hand around his wrist and pulled Buck’s hand towards him to kiss his palm, wondering idly if he’d able to taste the joy on his skin.

“It’s not funny,” Buck muttered, trying and failing to pout at him. Eddie grinned, kissing his palm again.

“I want him to know, Ev; I want everyone to know,” he said, suddenly serious.

“Everyone?”

“Mmhm, you okay with that?” The cat’s eyes were wide and intense on Eddie’s face. Eddie kept his face carefully neutral though he felt his own nerves and insecurities rising.

“Even Bobby?” He raised an expectant eyebrow.

“Especially Bobby.” His assertion was met with a surprised blink.

“Why ‘especially’?” Eddie allowed his mouth to tip up teasingly. He didn’t miss how Buck’s eyes shot down, lingered, and then shot back up with an added flush to his cheeks.

“Pretty sure we’ve got all sort of fun forms to fill in for HR; if we’re gonna be partners in work and in life our boss kind of needs to know, cariño.” Those blue eyes weren’t any less wide if anything they seemed a bit dazed. The cat seemed to breathe deeply a couple of times. His eyelashes fluttering as he closed his eyes.

“Okay, let’s tell everyone.” Eddie barely repressed a sigh of relief. He kissed Buck’s palm again for good measure before he let their joined hands fall to his thigh.

“We don’t have to do it right away; we can wait for whenever you’re ready.”

“I should be back to work soon. So. Before then.” A little bit of excitement could be heard along with a hint of worry in his voice. Eddie squeezed his hand reassuringly when his eyes remained closed.

“We’ll figure it out. Did Dr Travers say anything?”

“He’s gonna send the confirmation over to HQ this afternoon. So, I guess it will be however long it takes them to process it and get me back on the rota.” He rolled his eyes when the worry suddenly outweighed the excitement in his voice.

“Buck, Bobby is chomping at the bit to get you back; you’re gonna be on the first shift after the chief gives the green light.”

“Yeah.” Buck’s tone showed how little he believed that.

“Evan. You’ll be back before you know it.” Eddie leant into his space again, meeting the cat’s eyes when they opened. “Okay?” he asked insistently, not letting him escape his gaze.

“Okay,” Buck agreed reluctantly after almost a whole minute of squirming uncomfortably.

“I’ve got your back.” That earned him a half-hearted smile.

“And I’ll have yours.” Eddie’s brow furrowed at the wording.

“You’ve always had my back,” he corrected.

“I haven’t been there to have it, Eddie,” Buck retorted with much more fire than Eddie had seen in him for the past few days. He was torn over being glad that it was still there and being annoyed at the direction it was being channelled in.

“Buck, baby, you think just because we haven’t been working together you haven’t been there for me?” he asked as delicately as he could.

The concept was ridiculous to him, seeing how Buck had been there every second since the cat was living with him now. He’d even come to his shield ceremony whilst in agony just because it was important to Eddie. That he genuinely seemed to think that he hadn’t had Eddie’s back was laughable.

When the other shifter remained stubbornly silent, Eddie couldn’t help but growl a little. “You think that having you at home, watching Chris and supporting me, isn’t you having my back?” Buck’s shoulders lost some of their tension at that, as though he hadn’t even considered the idea of it. “Evan, I don’t need you to be there physically for me to know that you always have my back. I’d hope you could say the same for me.”

“Of course, Eds-“

“Then have a little faith in me. Please.” His voice dropped down into a low plea.

Buck’s hand untangled from his to pull Eddie into his chest. The position was slightly awkward, where they were both sitting on the ground facing each other, but the comfort of having Buck so close was more than worth it.

“I’m sorry. It’s not that I’m doubting you; it’s me I doubt. Even without my leg and the tsunami I never thought I deserved you. But here you are giving me everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s hard to not expect there to be something wrong; I don’t get to have this dream.” The pain in his voice and scent had tears springing to Eddie’s eyes. He blinked them away stubbornly.

Just as Eddie pulled back to reply, they were interrupted by Chris yelling from the playground. “Buck! Come push me on the swings!” Eddie sighed, placing a quick kiss on Buck’s lips.

“There’s nothing wrong with us, Evan, but we’ll finish this tonight since our son is demanding your attention right now,” he teased. Buck froze instead of immediately hopping up as Eddie had expected. He frowned as he looked behind him to see what it was that had Buck seemingly spooked all of a sudden. There was nothing behind him, however, and the cat was staring at him, face initially gone pale but now quickly turning pink.

“Buck?”

“Uh…”

“Uh?” Eddie asked in hopes he would expand on the very unhelpful noise. But then Chris yelled for Buck again and that seemed to snap the cat out of it.

“I, um, I’ll go…” He gestured in Chris’ direction.

Before Eddie could question him further on the weird moment, the blonde was sprinting off to the playground, being greeted with a loud cheer. Eddie watched after him, completely baffled by what had just happened. As he watched his two favourite people together, however, he decided he might as well leave that to talk about later as well.

Abuela fussed just as much as Eddie thought she would, alternating between praying over Christopher and praying over Buck. She lightly smacked Eddie on the back of the head as a scold for not bringing them over sooner and in the same breath squeezed him tight as she shared his relief that everyone was safe.

From the looks of how much food was spread out for them; the older woman had been stress cooking all day. Eddie felt a little bit guilty that he hadn’t brought his boys over earlier so he made sure to kiss her on the cheek and thank her profusely in Spanish. Buck made his own awkward attempt at thanking her in Spanish, Abuela giving him a fond smile and a pat on the cheek for his efforts.

Chris was a ball of energy throughout, even going so far as to tell his bisabuela all the details of his experience the day of the tsunami as if it’d been some great adventure. Both Buck and Abuela paled equally. She reached out a hand to squeeze the cat’s hand where it had balled up into a fist on the table. Eddie put a comforting hand on his thigh as he tried to dredge up a smile for his son to encourage him. He would never tell Christopher to stop or to tone it down; he was happy that the little boy could sound thrilled as he recounted the tale of Buck being a hero, but it didn’t mean any of the adults could share his enthusiasm.

Finally, the evening started to wind down, Chris slumping in Buck’s lap, where he had climbed once they’d settled in the living room. Eddie stroked a hand through his hair and shared a tired smile with Buck. “I’ll get him to bed,” Buck murmured before he managed to manoeuvre himself upright without disturbing Chris’ doze. The boy’s eyes didn’t so much as flicker. Eddie happily drowned himself in the flood of affection he felt as he watched them, not noticing his abuela watching him.

“You could not look more like a love-sick puppy if you tried, Eddito,” she teased. Eddie blushed but didn’t deny it. His answering grin was undoubtedly goofy.

“I love them both so much, Abuela,” he admitted.

“Oh, I know you do, nieto. I’m happy for you. But it’s about time you did something about it, yes?” Her eyes twinkled knowingly. Eddie rolled his eyes but he couldn’t stop grinning.

“You already know I have,” he pointed out; he hadn’t missed her satisfied eyes sliding to him every time he so much as looked at Buck for a second longer than was socially acceptable or when they casually brushed against each other. She laughed smugly.

“Hmm, but it took you far too long. I was worried he would get away before you got around to it, Edmundo; Evito is a good boy.” Even though she was teasing he could also see genuine relief in her eyes.

He knew she had been worried about him, especially after Shannon had left. Now that he thought about it, her subtle looks of concern had mostly stopped after his shield celebration, where she’d first seen him and Buck interact properly. Eddie levered himself up from the sofa to go perch on the arm of her chair and wrap her in a tight hug. She tutted but returned the embrace strongly. “You’re in good hands with him.”

“I know. He takes good care of us.”

“I’m so glad for you. You deserve it, you both do.”

“Thank you, Abuela,” Eddie croaked, holding back tears. He pressed his nose into the top of her head to inhale her comforting scent.

That was how Buck found them. His face went soft as he spotted them. “Everything okay?” Eddie could tell that he was asking as more of a double-check since he could probably smell that nothing was wrong. Abuela reached out one arm towards him.

“Come here, nieto.” Eddie got to see Buck pale and go pink for the second time that day. It tickled at the back of his brain, making him think back over that weird moment at the park.

The cat started to stutter out some kind of excuse but, as Abuela stared him down silently, he quickly relented and joined their embrace. Eddie tucked him close with an arm around his waist. “You will look after each other, yes?”

“Yes, Abuela.”

“I’ll look after them, Isabel.” Eddie had to hide his smirk when the woman puffed up, affronted.

“It’s ‘Abuela’, Evito.” The pink on Buck’s face flushed darker as he smiled shyly.

“Sorry. Abuela.” She huffed unimpressed.

“If I have to remind you again I won’t teach you how to make your boys’ favourite tamales.” Even though the older woman had made it clear that Buck was family Eddie was still a little surprised at the offer; his mother still hadn’t been given the privilege of being taught Abuela’s recipes. (Though Eddie was sure that had more to do with his mother personally than anything else.)

Buck’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times until he eventually nodded meekly. “It won’t happen again, Abuela.” She hummed as she eyed him seriously. His sincerity was easy to see though so she quickly patted him fondly on the cheek.

“Good. Now you two should get home and enjoy your evening alone together, hm?” Both shifters blushed then.

“Dios, Abuela,” Eddie muttered, embarrassed. She tutted at him, a scold for taking the Lord’s name in vain, likely. Buck stumbled backwards and cleared his throat.

“Um, thank you for dinner, Isa-Abuela,” he hastily corrected himself.

“De nada.” The old woman looked far too pleased with herself. Needless to say, Eddie made a quick exit, not even having to drag Buck out like usual. Somehow the cat ended up at the truck before Eddie did.

Eddie was inexplicably nervous as he entered his living room and sat on the couch. Buck followed him, wringing his hands, and then sitting down at the opposite end. Eddie frowned; he didn’t want distance between them at the best of times but he especially didn’t want it for this conversation. Going by the unsure look Buck gave the cushions between them, Eddie was fairly confident he didn’t want it either. So, Eddie twisted and slouched down to put his head against the arm of the couch and stretched his legs out along the length of it, spreading them wide enough for a certain cat to be able to lie between them. He held his hand out in invitation.

“Come here.” The cat practically launched himself across the distance, laying down on top of Eddie with his head tucked under his chin.

“Is this okay?” Eddie wrapped his arms around Buck’s broad back and made sure he pulled him fully flush with him so that he had all of his weight. It was a comforting pressure and helped Eddie relax instantly.

“More than,” Buck purred quietly. He rubbed his head against Eddie, acting as if he was merely nodding when Eddie knew he was trying to subtly mark him with his scent. Eddie smiled out of sight, not letting on that he knew what the cat was really doing in case It made him stop. The mix of their scents imprinted on his skin brought him comfort like nothing else.

“Okay so I guess I should start from the beginning.” Except he had no idea how to do that.

“A very good place to start,” Buck muttered into his collarbone. Eddie rolled his eyes at the reference from that weird musical Buck had gotten Chris obsessed with.

“You just can’t help yourself,” Eddie said with faux annoyance. He could feel the shit-eating grin form as it was pressed into him.

“You love it,” Buck quipped.

“Yeah. Yeah, I really do.” He squeezed his arms. They fell silent again as Eddie searched for the words he needed.

“You… You said you’ve been…this whole time?” The question was tentative but Eddie was so grateful for it; these kind of talks were easier when he was reacting to Buck’s immediate needs. Having to start it himself was proving extremely difficult. He was pretty sure Buck knew that and had taken the step for him. Eddie wasn’t sure how he kept falling more and more in love with him but he did. There must be a limit to it eventually but he didn’t think he’d even come close to finding it and wasn’t sure he ever would.

“Yeah, I… That first day. Even though you were mad at me.” He poked at Buck’s ribs causing him to squirm as he tried to pull away without throwing them both off of the couch.

“Hey! You didn’t exactly help yourself. How does your foot taste by the way?”

“I don’t know, want to see for yourself?” Eddie wasn’t sure if he meant that as a threat or a weird attempt at flirting. Buck seemed to not know either, scrunching his nose and muttering 'gross' under his breath.

Eddie cleared his throat awkwardly. “But, yeah, even just walking into the firehouse I could smell you. Which is weird enough on its own but then I met you and you were… Dios, you’re so beautiful, Buck.” The cat’s face crinkled as he seemed to decide which way he wanted to feel about Eddie’s statement. Insecurities likely fighting against his vanity.

“So you did like what you saw in the gym?” Apparently, vanity won out.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, asshole.” Eddie could feel his face turning pink. “What did you expect? I went to find you to apologise and there you were, working out, shirtless. I’m a weak, weak man when it comes to you, Evan Buckley,” Eddie murmured, his eyes fastening on Buck’s inviting lips as he remembered the urge he’d had to trail the trickle of sweat down the other shifter’s magnificent body with his tongue. The smirk slid off of Buck’s face a second before he leaned up to give Eddie a slow, drugging kiss. His body felt heavy as he melted into it, his hand coming up to hold the back of Buck’s head.

When the cat started to pull away, Eddie pulled him back in; not nearly having had his fill yet. He felt the sigh against his lips. “Eddie.” The soft whine finally made Eddie allow breathing room between them. He forced his brain to think again.

“I already wanted you physically before I’d even got you to stop hating me. But then you smiled at me after the bomb. I knew then.” Buck pressed his forehead against Eddie’s as he gently rubbed the tip of their noses together. Eddie smiled adoringly.

“I could never hate you. Pretty sure that was why I was so mad in the first place.” A tender kiss was pecked at the corner of his mouth before Buck tucked his head back underneath his jaw.

Feeling tension start creeping into the body on top of him, he rubbed circles into the base of his back in hopes that it would soothe him. The deep intake of breath alerted Eddie to the fact that Buck seemed to be bracing himself for whatever he wanted to say. It saddened him that the cat thought it necessary.

“You wanted to be with Shannon, Eds.” It was said tentatively but still with all the gentleness of Buck’s heart. “I… After that night… You were so upset that she didn’t want- That she didn’t want the same things you did. If she had, we wouldn’t be here right now.” It was a horrible thought and the worst thing about it was that Eddie couldn’t say with complete certainty that Buck wasn’t right. Who knows what would have happened if Shannon had decided to stay and try with him?

Eddie tried not to tense but he knew he did slightly. It only made Buck push his head tighter against Eddie as he tried to curl in on himself protectively. “Don’t do that,” Eddie urged as he tightened his hold to keep Buck still. “I’m not upset with you. I’m upset that I could have had you the entire time but, because of my stupidity, I made you doubt how deeply I care for you instead.”

“I know you-“

“How deeply I’ve always cared for you.” Buck’s mouth snapped shut audibly. He took a couple of deep breaths as he readied to strip himself bare for this shifter that he loved with every fibre of his being. He knew Buck would keep him safe as he allowed himself to be vulnerable.

“I initially started sleeping with Shannon again because… It was familiar. A comfort. And I didn’t think I’d ever be able to be with you the way I wanted. You were always this unattainable daydream and she was reality. I’ll admit I started denying just how strong my feelings were for you so that I could lie to myself that I wanted Shannon. But it wasn’t Shannon that I was upset about losing. Not really. It was the betrayal and the loss for Chris. I wanted to give him his family, you know: Mum, Dad, two point five kids, the whole nine yards. He’s had a hard life and he’s never had both parents like he should.”

He felt Buck’s mouth open, likely about to protest on his behalf. “No, he didn’t.” Eddie squeezed him as he insisted lowly. “I wasn’t there for the first years of his life and when I did eventually come back, I might have been there physically but I wasn’t all there mentally. Not in the way either of them deserved. And Shannon left before I could get it together. And then we came here and I had the vague idea that we would find Shannon and I could give my kid that family he’d never got the chance to have.”

“That idea pretty much went up in smoke the second you smiled at me.” He felt Buck’s smile against his neck and chuckled briefly at his own pun. “But I still wanted to give Chris everything I could. So, when I thought I wouldn’t be able to give him that family with you and Shannon came back into our lives, I tried to make it with her. Again. That’s the loss I was grieving; not her. I was upset to have lost the mother of my child and the woman who was my best friend all those years ago, but I grieved the loss of her as my partner long before I ever stepped foot in this state.”

When he fell silent, Buck levered himself up, propping himself up with his elbows either side of Eddie’s head. The position put them face to face again. “You’ve loved me this whole time?” Eddie could hear that it wasn’t doubt that had Buck asking but rather a last confirmation. Eddie cupped his cheek as he stared into endless blue eyes intently.

“You’ve had half my heart for almost a year, Ev.” Buck smiled lopsidedly.

“You’re such a sap,” he laughed wetly.

“Only for you, baby,” Eddie deadpanned. It set Buck off and he collapsed down onto Eddie’s chest as he dissolved into giggles. Eddie grinned widely as he watched him.

It took a while for the cat to calm down and prop himself back up. His face was uncharacteristically serious as he mirrored Eddie’s earlier hold. His thumb stroked over his cheek, coming to rest against his bottom lip. It took every ounce of willpower Eddie possessed to not suck the digit into his mouth.

“You should know, I wanted to date Taylor and Ali for the same reason. ‘Course I didn’t actually manage to date either, but, you know…” He shrugged casually as if it were no big deal but Eddie could still see the hurt lingering in his eyes. His instincts were suddenly at war with each other; half of him wanting to comfort and reassure whilst the other half wanted to growl possessively and stake his claim. He was slightly ashamed to admit the possessiveness won out.

He pushed his hand into Buck’s curls and fisted his hair as his tongue snaked out to capture that tempting thumb and brought it into his mouth. He sucked hard before biting down on the base of it. Buck’s sucked in a sharp breath and Eddie had the pleasure of watching his pupils dilate until there was only a slither of blue left. He released the digit with a satisfied smirk. “You were never going to be theirs, Evan,” he rumbled. His hand tightened further in Buck’s hair, making the cat whine, and then Eddie was pulling him down to nip at his full bottom lip. Buck’s mouth opened as he gasped at the sting and Eddie took full advantage.

When Buck was deliciously limp against Eddie, surrendering himself completely under his determined ministrations, Eddie broke away. It earned him a displeased whimper which he shushed with a softer kiss against Buck’s swollen red lips.

“D-Did any-anyone ever tell you you’re a bit possessive.” Buck’s breath hitched and his pitch rose dramatically when Eddie bit at his pulse point.

“Don’t know what you mean.” Eddie muttered as he mouthed at the skin there before sucking a large mark into it. Buck trembled on top of him, his hands clutching at Eddie’s shoulders.

“Ed-Eddie!”

“Hmm?”

“You-you’re-“ The cat cut off abruptly when Eddie nuzzled his way under the collar of his shirt to bite the tempting curve there, where his neck met his shoulder.

Taking pity on the whimpering shifter, Eddie stopped and laid his head back, guiding Buck’s head so that he could see his pretty face. It was a devastating sight.

His normally pillowy lips were swollen and glistening; his cheeks were dusted with a lovely pink; and his eyes were half lidded and dazed. The skin along his neck was rubbed red from Eddie’s stubble and just under his jaw was an already darkening patch of skin. Unable to help himself he rested his palm against Buck’s neck and pressed his thumb into the spot. Buck groaned, throwing his head back, inadvertently giving Eddie’s more access. He allowed his thumb to slide across to press against the opposite pulse point, his hand now bracketing Buck’s throat. The hold meant he felt as Buck gulped and the vibrations of another, slightly higher, groan.

When Buck finally met his eyes again, his hunger was plain to see. “Bedroom?” he rasped. Eddie had never agreed to anything quicker.

Notes:

Rest assured this is not a fade to black! The smut is coming next chapter!

Chapter 37

Summary:

Smut. That's all there is this chapter.

Notes:

Fair warning, this chapter is just full on explicit sex. If that's not your thing, it's completely skippable and I'll see you at the next chapter!

Chapter Text

They stumbled down the hallway like drunken teenagers. Eddie pressing Buck against the wall as he bit his way down the curve of his throat. Buck pressing Eddie against the opposite wall as he wrestled Eddie’s t-shirt off, his nails scraping against Eddie’s abdomen as he went. He shuddered and returned the favour.

By the time they made it to the bedroom they were both down to their boxers and the lemon of Buck’s scent was in full bloom. Eddie gently pushed Buck’s body away until the back of his knees hit the bed and he fell down onto the mattress. The move earned him a glare from the cat but Eddie was too busy admiring the miles of soft creamy skin spread out before him to fake an apology. Buck gave a huff of faux annoyance but shuffled back until he was laying in the middle of the bed, his eyes dark and inviting.

His body was as magnificent as Eddie had always imagined it to be but was even more so simply for being bare and on Eddie’s bed. His muscles were soft yet still had a hint of the definition that Eddie was used to seeing in the gym and his skin glistened slightly with a light sheen of sweat. Buck’s cock curved up against his stomach unapologetically, average in terms of girth but more than making up for it with the length and the pretty pink shade of it. A bead of pre-come rolled down onto Buck’s abs as Eddie watched.

A rumble started in Eddie’s chest as he slowly crawled across the bed until he was knelt over him. The mood shifted and slowed as Eddie pushed away any feelings of urgency to worship his lover’s body as it deserved. He placed his mouth against the ball of one shoulder and gave it an experimental lick. Buck shivered beneath him. With a wicked grin, Eddie began to slide his mouth across Buck’s body tortuously slow. He paused to nibble and suck at random points, and each time Buck whined higher and higher for him. Eddie’s primal instincts were roaring by the time he’d made it to Buck’s ribs; the cat crying sweetly for its wolf.

It was the thin silvery marks that Eddie found dotted there that had him hesitating. They were stretched in a rough semi-circle and, when Eddie brought his hands up to hold the side of Buck’s body, he could faintly feel a matching set on his back. He pressed his thumb into one of the scars as he glanced up at Buck’s flushed face. The younger shifter still looked deliciously dazed but he gave Eddie a gentle smile.

“Cariño?”

“Yeah,” he breathed.

“Is this where…?” Eddie didn’t want to let the words into their bubble; didn’t want the reminder of that horrific act to mar anything for Buck. His smile became a little bit sad but was somehow more tender.

“Yeah.” Eddie did his best to not let the anger surface.

“They’ll never hurt you again.” The promise was vehement, Eddie’s hands tightening their hold.

Buck lifted his hand to push his fingers into Eddie’s hair and then tug lightly on the strands. “Come here, sweetheart.” Eddie was powerless against the sweet entreaty; he hovered over Buck again within the next heartbeat. Their mouths met in a syrupy kiss. Eddie poured every ounce of his protective fury into it whilst Buck tempered it with his endless trust.

“I love you.” They pressed the words into each other’s lips.

Eddie felt the minute Buck started smirking. “Now would you please stop teasing me.”

“Hmm, but you look so pretty like this.” Eddie stroked his hand up to brush his thumb lightly against one of Buck’s nipples. The cat’s hips tried to buck upwards to get some friction but Eddie was already pressing a hand down to hold him still. “Uh uh, I like you right where I have you.”

“Eddie, please.” The plea went straight to Eddie’s cock.

“So good for me, Evan.” Buck made a noise like he was dying in response. Eddie wasn’t sure he could get any harder at this point and the fire from before came back with a vengeance.

“You like that? You like being good for me, like me telling you how good you are?” Eddie teased as he slid back down Buck’s body so that he could mouth at Buck’s hipbones. His lover spread his legs without prompting, allowing Eddie to lie between them. He made sure to leave a hickey there before he moved to nibble at Buck’s glorious inner thighs, bypassing his cock completely. It earned him another breathless plea.

“Tell me, baby.” Eddie bit down hard on the vulnerable skin just as Buck opened his mouth to answer.

“Eddie!” Buck’s whole upper body arched upwards, his head thrown back against the pillows and his face scrunched up in need.

“Do you like being good for me, Evan?” He asked quietly as he ran a finger over the tight pucker between Buck’s legs.

“Y-Yes! Eddie, yes, please! I’ll be g-good for you.” Eddie rewarded him by licking up the long length of his cock. The cat’s body shuddered violently underneath him.

“I know you will, cariño; always so good for me.”

Whilst Buck was distracted by the praise, Eddie quickly grabbed the lube from the nightstand and returned to the haven between Buck’s legs. He warmed some between his fingers and then circled Buck’s hole, working it slowly in. Both shifters held their breath as Eddie pushed the first finger in, sinking straight down to the second knuckle as Buck’s body sucked him in. He wasn’t sure which of them moaned louder. “Dios,” Eddie cursed, his cock throbbing painfully.

He found a rhythm that had Buck squirming and begging in no time, his long legs trying to squeeze closed but ruthlessly held open by Eddie’s shoulders. As Eddie worked first one finger, then two, then three, into Buck’s tight ass he couldn’t take his eyes off of the cat’s face. It was a miracle Eddie hadn’t thrown all caution to the wind and rammed himself into the desperate heat beneath him.

“Eddie, Eddie, Eds, baby, please, Eddie, Eddie.” The begging was music to Eddie’s ears but it was hell on his control.

“What do you want, Ev?”

“You!” If Eddie wasn’t burning up with need, he might have rolled his eyes.

“Tell me.” One of Buck’s legs wrapped around the back of Eddie and attempted to pull him in closer. Eddie held firm but stopped moving his fingers, holding them still deep inside Buck as punishment. His lover mewled in despair.

“Shh, be a good boy for me, tell me what you need,” Eddie soothed, brushing a kiss against Buck’s thigh but not moving his fingers yet.

Eddie, Eddie, please, I need you!”

“This?” He twisted his fingers and crooked them right into Buck’s sweet spot that he had purposefully been avoiding so far. It took every bit of Eddie’s strength to keep Buck pinned to the bed when he thrashed.

Yes! More, more, please, Eddie!”

“You want to cum on my fingers?” That seemed to finally get Buck’s attention. His blue eyes peered down at Eddie. The tears in them really shouldn’t have made Eddie’s cock pulse.

“N-No. W-w-want your cock. Please. Eds. Want your-“ Eddie rubbed against Buck’s prostate again sending him reeling back into the pillows.

“There you go, was that so hard, baby?” Eddie crooned as he pushed himself back up the bed but kept his fingers buried in Buck.

“Y-yes.” Buck laughed wetly, one of his hands shakily reaching for his cock. Eddie easily batted it away, twisting his fingers in punishment. The hand dropped to hold the covers in a death grip.

“Much better,” he praised the once again incoherent shifter. He pulled his fingers out with a wince that was echoed by Buck’s whine of displeasure. “Easy; you’ll have me back in a second.”

He wiped the excess lube on his straining cock, hissing when even that perfunctory touch felt too good. As promised, he lined himself up against Buck’s hole within seconds, the head of his cock bearing down slightly on that tempting pucker. But he didn’t push in. Not yet.

He cupped Buck’s cheek and watched as his eyes fluttered open to look at him. “Good boy.” He pushed in slowly as he held eye contact.

It was the most intense feeling Eddie had ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Buck gripped him tightly but the slide in was wet and warm. He eased in gently until his hips pressed against Buck’s ass. Beneath him his lover was panting desperately but their eyes were still locked together. Long legs lifted and wrapped around Eddie’s waist, allowing him to sink even deeper.

“Dios, Buck. You feel so fucking good.” Buck whimpered and then his mouth was on Eddie’s neck sucking a bruise over his pulse. It matched the one Eddie had given him earlier. It snapped the last thread of Eddie’s control.

He pulled almost all the way out, despite Buck’s steel grip and his pleading whine. And then he thrust all the way back in. Hard. The cat gasped and Eddie grinned as he met those beautiful, fucked-out eyes.

His instincts took over completely, his cock pistoning in and out of Buck rapidly. The push in was so rough that Eddie’s hips were practically bouncing off of Buck’s pert ass and the drag out was so rushed it had Buck whimpering every time. His hands were bruisingly tight on Buck’s hips and his claws had extended to make small pinpricks in Buck’s skin. The cat reciprocated by scratching gouges across Eddie’s back with his own claws. His wolf side relished every second of their brutal coupling.

When he felt the tingle of an orgasm at his base of his back Eddie grunted, moving his hands to the back of Buck’s thighs to push them up further until his lover was almost bent in half. If Buck had any complaint about it, he certainly didn’t show it. He yelled when Eddie started hitting his prostate dead on with every thrust from the new angle.

“That’s it, right there, baby?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! God, Eddie, please.”

“So good, Buck. Going to come just from my cock?” Buck nodded frantically, tears trailing down his cheeks. “Such a good fucking boy. Come for me.” It was all the encouragement Buck needed. His body stiffened under Eddie and his ass clamped tight around Eddie’s cock. Gritting his teeth, he forced a few more shallow pumps but then he saw the white liquid shooting from Buck’s untouched cock and seeping across his skin, and it was all over. He planted himself deep with a howl as he shot his load inside of Buck.

After the first initial surge, he made himself look back down to admire his partner. His eyes widened when he saw that Buck was still coming. “Fuck,” he groaned his own cock somehow shooting off again. He shuddered as his arms gave out and he collapsed down on top of the cat. In this position he could feel Buck’s cock still weakly spurting his cum between them.

It took them both a few minutes to catch their breath, Buck legs gingerly lowering from where they had still been bent up to his chest. He wrapped them around the back of Eddie thighs when he started to shuffle with the intention of getting off. Eddie chuckled tiredly.

“Not yet,” Buck rasped. His gravelly voice had Eddie preening and his cock twitching in interest. Buried as it was in Buck, the little movement made Buck gasp and shudder. Eddie pressed a soft comforting kiss to Buck’s collarbone.

“I need to pull out, cariño.” Buck whined but slowly released Eddie when he stroked one of his strong thighs soothingly. Eddie would have sunk back down to bite the tempting flesh if he wasn’t completely drained. In every way. The thought made him snort and then laugh. Buck swatted at him, his hand flopping uselessly against Eddie’s shoulder.

“What?” he grumbled.

“Don’t think I’ve ever come that hard in my life.” Buck giggled but it turned into a groan when Eddie used his distraction to pull out and move to press his front to Buck’s side. He winced sympathetically at the sad mewl.

“God, me neither.” Eddie glanced down at the mess on Buck’s stomach. His hand lifted of its own accord to trail a finger through it.

“Mm, I noticed.” Buck watched with wide eyes as Eddie brought the finger to his mouth and sucked Buck’s cum off of it. The cat’s breath hitched.

Eddie.” He chuckled lightly and cuddled back into him. “You’re a tease, Edmundo Diaz,” Buck groaned but his arm wrapped around Eddie waist, his hand curving over Eddie’s hip.

“Are you complaining?” Eddie grinned, already knowing the answer. Tapping pointedly on Buck’s stomach, just above a smear of cum.

God, no,” Buck said emphatically. Eddie laughed again and pressed a chaste kiss to Buck’s stubbled cheek.

“I love you.” The other shifter rolled over so that they were face to face, his thigh draping over Eddie’s hip and his arm pressing against his lower back.

“I love you.”

They laid wrapped up in each other quietly for a while until Eddie shifted against the sheets and grimaced as the dried cum pulled on his stomach hair. “Come on; we need to get cleaned up.” He wasn’t surprised by Buck’s disagreeing noise or by how he nuzzled in closer.

“Comfy.” He rolled his eyes but grinned fondly. Yeah, they’d been here before. Rather than trying to convince Buck he needed to get up (almost certainly an impossible task), Eddie managed to extract himself from Buck’s octopus limbs. It earned him a disgruntled chuff so he pressed a lingering kiss on Buck’s forehead to soften the blow.

He padded naked to the bathroom to wash himself up and wet a washcloth for Buck. On his way back to the bedroom he made sure to pick up their hastily discarded clothes; he could just imagine Chris’ questions if he came home to that. Even cringing slightly, he was grinning goofily when he went back into the bedroom to find Buck exactly where he had left him.

The cat opened one baleful eye when Eddie started cleaning him up. He raised an eyebrow which Buck answered by closing his eyes again and making absolutely no move to clean himself up. Eddie didn’t really mind but he made sure to poke at Buck’s ribs in retaliation. It meant that he suddenly had a very heavy shifter laying on top of him. He was impressed at how quickly Buck had moved, his cock giving another valiant twitch. If he’d been ten years younger Eddie was sure he’d be hard again just from being pinned down by the bigger shifter.

Sadly, he wasn’t so he just used his new position to tenderly clean between Buck’s cheeks. The cat fidgeted uncomfortably. Eddie threw the cloth on his nightstand and stroked a finger over the now looser pucker in apology. He felt it clench beneath his touch and then another drop of liquid seeped out. Eddie wasn’t sure how he wasn’t immediately hard again, honestly. With a definitely too possessive growl, he fucked his cum back into Buck’s hole with his finger.

His lover shuddered and moaned, his mouth opening hotly on Eddie’s throat. He sucked in a shocked breath when he felt Buck’s cock starting to fill out against his leg. “Are you getting hard for me again, Evan?” Eddie asked lowly. Buck nodded frantically, his hair tickling Eddie’s chin. He started fucking him with his finger again, unable to help himself.

“Ah, ah, ah.” Buck sobbed incoherently into Eddie’s skin. Eddie slowed his movement but didn’t stop completely.

“Sensitive?” He got another nod. “Want to stop?” This time a shake. Eddie hummed contemplatively before he abruptly flipped their positions and fucked two fingers in before Buck could complain. The other shifter’s throat arched back on a long whine. “Shh, let me take care of you. You just lie there and be good for me, Ev.” He didn’t wait for a response before he moved to lie back between Buck’s legs.

This time he didn’t tease, immediately taking Buck’s cock deep into his mouth, keeping two fingers buried in his ass. Eddie sucked him off determinedly, swiping his tongue around his head and then pressing it into the slit alternatively as he worked his fingers against Buck’s prostate. It didn’t take long before Buck was crying out and flooding Eddie’s mouth. He happily swallowed it all down though he was grateful that it wasn’t quite the quantity from before. Eddie did note, however, that it was still a lot, especially for someone who had come hard not half an hour ago.

He licked his lips to catch any stray drops as he let Buck’s now soft cock slip from his mouth. He climbed back up the bed to nuzzle Buck’s mouth until he opened for him. Their tongues tangled languidly, Buck no doubt able to taste himself on Eddie’s but not seeming to mind in the slightest.

Eventually he pulled away, pecking a few kisses on the corner of Buck’s mouth, his cheek, his jaw, his temple. He considered getting out of bed to get them both some clothes to sleep in but Eddie was picking Chris up in the morning and they weren’t expecting any company anyway. Deciding to take advantage of the rare alone time, Eddie pressed his bare body against Buck’s, settling in for the night. Wrapped in Buck’s warm embrace and their merged scents, he fell asleep within minutes.

Chapter 38

Summary:

The End...Or is it?

Notes:

Teensy bit of smut right at the beginning of this chapter; I couldn't resist and neither could the boys!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Buck woke up with strong arms wrapped around him, a warm chest pressed to his back, and surrounded by Eddie’s musky scent. If he’d been in his lion form, he would have been purring up a storm, as it was, his chest was vibrating quietly. Sunlight was only just beginning to filter in around the curtains so he snuggled back, content to lay here until Eddie forced them up.

He wasn’t sure how much longer it was before he felt Eddie stir against him. A part of Buck was bracing for the wolf to pull back, having some regrets, maybe, or not being as in to cuddling as much as Buck was. To his absolute delight, however, Eddie merely hummed and nuzzled his nose into the back of Buck’s neck. Buck slid his hand up Eddie’s forearm to cup his elbow, prompting his lover to tighten his hold, one leg pushing in between Buck’s.

“Mm, good morning,” was mumbled against him before Eddie started pecking kisses along his nape and across the line of his shoulder. Buck lifted his arm to curve it around the back of Eddie’s head and curled his fingers in the unruly hair there.

“Good morning, Eds.” A tongue dragged along his skin teasingly, causing him to shudder.

“You smell good.” Eddie’s breath blew over the wet trail. Buck arched his back with a whimper, grinding his ass back into Eddie. The wolf’s hand clamped down on his hip at the same time his teeth dug playfully into his muscle, both holding him still. “None of that,” he murmured deceptively sweet. His hand stroked down Buck’s naked hip to swat lightly at his thigh.

“Eddie,” Buck groaned.

“We have to go get Chris.” But his hand was now doodling over Buck’s leg, contradicting his words.

“So stop petting me,” Buck breathed, unable to stop himself from arching his neck in invitation. Eddie obliged by dragging his teeth up to his earlobe before tugging it between them.

“But you’re so soft.” Eddie whispered straight into his ear, the sound going straight to Buck’s cock. If he hadn’t already been half-hard from the attention, he would have been just from that.

“You keep that up I’m not going to be soft for much longer. Eddie,” he complained when, rather than pull away, the wolf flattened his hand and slid it maddeningly slow up the inside of his thigh.

“Is that right?” Buck ignored the question, too distracted by Eddie’s hand wondering closer and closer to where he needed it most.

“Eds, please.” He could feel the grin against him right before a calloused hand lightly stroked Buck’s cock from root to tip. “Jesus Christ.” Eddie chuckled lowly.

“Nope, just me, mi amor.”

“You think you’re so f-“ He broke off with a gasp as Eddie tightened his grip and started moving with purpose.

A thumb rubbed into his slit, spreading his pre-come, on every upstroke and then fingertips were grazing his balls on every downstroke. When a twist just under the head was added, Buck was lost. He threw his head back on a long, loud moan, hand tightening in Eddie’s hair, likely pulling too harshly but the wolf didn’t seem to mind, pressing and grinding his own hard cock into the cleft of Buck’s ass. Before long, it was wet enough for Eddie to sinfully slide between Buck’s cheeks, the head of his cock catching on Buck’s rim every time. It was too much. Buck trembled and whimpered as he tried to hold off coming too soon.

“That’s it, let go for me.” Four words and Buck was gone. His vision whited out, his mouth opened on a silent scream, and his whole body freezing before melting back into Eddie’s embrace. The wolf growled as both of his hands gripped Buck’s hips with claws digging in deeply. It only took two more powerful thrusts before Eddie found his own release. He howled loudly in Buck’s ear before his teeth were latching onto him deep enough to draw blood. Buck somehow became even more limp, surrendering every inch of himself completely.

He whimpered softly in the silence that followed, when Eddie was still locked around him, the pleasure pain of it making his cock twitch with oversensitivity. It earned him a deep dark growl that was only barely muffled where Eddie’s teeth were still digging into his skin. “Yours,” Buck rasped as he shivered. It seemed to be what Eddie’s instincts were looking for; the wolf releasing him to gently lap at the small drops of blood that welled.

Mine.” It was a possessive rumble that sent goose bumps racing all over Buck. He nodded sluggishly, allowing himself to be tugged closer and tucked into Eddie’s warmth.

It seemed to take a while for Eddie to come out of his haze of instincts but Buck knew the moment he smelled Buck’s blood; his body tensing but his hands tentatively brushing over the marks on his hips. “You okay?” Eddie asked wearily.

Buck dug deep to find the energy and motivation to flip over. Eddie released him instantly when he started to move but the small, sad whine gave him away. The wolf needn’t have worried. Buck chuffed soothingly as he finally got himself facing Eddie and immediately snuggled into Eddie’s chest. He pushed one of his legs between Eddie’s, ignoring the drying mess between them, and quickly pulled Eddie’s leg up to drape over his hip. He couldn’t resist running his hand over the powerful thigh as he wrapped his arms around Eddie’s back to keep him close. It earned him a shudder and a hint of a growl that was quickly cut off.

“Don’t do that,” he admonished; Buck wanted to hear every single one of Eddie’s noises. The other shifter carefully nuzzled his face into the crook of Buck’s neck.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” The questions were more insistent this time. Buck stroked circles on Eddie’s back as he deliberately scented him.

“I’m prefect, Eddie.”

“I drew blood, Buck.” He hummed his agreement, a smirk surfacing on his face.

“You did.” Eddie pulled back abruptly, looking at him incredulously.

“You’re… You liked it?”

“Eddie, sweetheart, wouldn’t you?” Buck countered easily. It seemed to surprise Eddie who frowned at first but then his expression cleared and he smirked back.

“Yeah, yeah, I probably would.”

“Mmhm.” Buck leant back in to get his first proper kiss of the day. It started heavy but then Eddie slowed it down into something that felt reverent.

“I love you,” Eddie stated as soon as they pulled away for breath. And Buck believed Eddie fully. He was sure he would find more doubts along the way but for right now he was perfectly content knowing that, however unlikely, this beautiful wolf shifter loved him entirely.

“I love you.” Eddie’s smile told Buck that he knew that Buck loved him entirely too.

Chris was a bouncing ball of energy when they finally got him back home. “Buck, Buck, Buck!”

“You called?” Buck said laughingly when he poked his head back into the living room. The boy was twitching with excitement on the couch.

“Can you shift now? Please?” He paused at the request, eyes flicking over to Eddie. The wolf was already watching him expectantly. Buck shouldn’t be surprised considering Eddie’s eyes hadn’t left him for longer than a few minutes at a time today. Those intense brown eyes often fixating on the very visible bite mark on Buck’s neck.

Buck had had to be bribed out of the truck, face already flaming at the thought of Eddie’s abuela seeing them both covered in each other’s marks. Buck was proud of them, of course, but he didn’t exactly want to flaunt their newfound sex life at anyone’s grandmother let alone his boyfriend’s.

The woman of course had winked at him as soon as she met them at the door and Buck’s face had flushed so red he could see it out of the corner of his eye. Eddie didn’t seem to be suffering the same affliction as he’d grinned brightly and smugly at Buck the entire time. It didn’t help that the wolf hadn’t stopped touching him either: a hand on his hip there, a brush of fingers across his nape then. It was a miracle Buck had remained upright. Needless to say, he’d been grateful to be able to get back to hiding in the truck and had happily let Chris chatter his ear off to distract him from the whole mortifying ordeal. The boy didn’t seem to notice, thank God.

“Um, there’s… not much room in here.” Chris blinked and then looked around the room. He then looked to his father who laughed and got up to push the coffee table out of the way.

“Problem solved,” he declared, raising an eyebrow pointedly at Buck. He sighed, conceding his defeat all to easily.

“Alright, I’ll, um.” He gestured behind himself vaguely, knowing Eddie would understand. He was not about to strip naked in front of Christopher, no matter how little body shame shifters had. After all, Chris wasn’t a shifter.

His hands shook slightly as he quickly undressed. Taking a deep breath in, he closed his eyes and shifted.

The shift itself felt like pins and needles all over his body, though more painful. Like when you’d been sitting on your foot for too long and feeling was rushing back in to it too fast. Unlike when he’d shifted during the day of the tsunami, however, he wasn’t injured so the pain was the same he’d felt his entire life and Buck could push it to the back of his mind and ignore it. He shuddered when he remembered how painful and exhausting the shift had been that last time.

Before long he was fully in his lion form, shaking out his mane with a soft grumble. He padded out almost silently to his waiting boys.

Chris’ reaction was immediate, a loud gasp followed by an excited cheer. Buck chuffed and lowered his head to gently rub against the boy, scenting him. It caused Chris to giggle at the tickling sensation and then little hands were stroking over his face and pushing into his fur. “So cool,” was whispered with no little amount of awe. It made Buck’s heart soar.

Maddie had obviously never feared him in this form but he’d never experienced anything close to Christopher’s childlike wonder. And then another larger hand was brushing over his shoulder and down his spine. Buck’s tail flicked toward Eddie as a purr started in his chest. “He’s purring, Dad!”

“It means he’s happy, mijo.” Christopher’s smile could have powered the sun.

“I’m glad you’re happy, Buck.” His purr paused when he chuffed at him but it was quick to resume when Chris’ thin arms wrapped around his neck.

“Come on, Superman, you want to sit on his back?” Chris eagerly let go, his arms going out to his father expectantly.

When Eddie went to lift him up, Buck rumbled out a warning. He hadn’t meant it as a protest but rather an urge to be careful but as soon as he let loose the noise he realised Eddie might take it differently. Thankfully, Eddie barely hesitated, situating Chris securely, much to the boy’s audible joy. The wolf then rounded to Buck’s front and bopped him teasingly on the nose as he rolled his eyes so that Buck could see it.

“He’ll be fine, Buck; if he can hold on after going through a freaking tsunami, I think he can mange just fine normally.” Eddie’s tone was patient but Buck could see the amusement in his eyes. So, he took great pleasure in sneezing directly in his face. Eddie’s nose scrunched adorably in disgust as he recoiled. “Really?” He asked deadpan. Chris started laughing uncontrollably, falling forward to hug Buck’s neck as much as he could reach. Buck gave a pleased hum and blew a breath into Eddie’s face through his nose. The wolf playfully pushed his snout away, a wide smile spreading across his face.

“You’re a menace, Evan Buckley.” Buck figured he was forgiven when Eddie immediately started stroking his face though. His fingertips ran over the unfamiliar contours as if studying them, memorising them. He closed his eyes as his purring began again, louder than before. Eddie rubbed one of his ears and then scratched under Buck’s chin. His head stretched forward automatically, leaning into the petting.

“Such a good kitty cat.” Buck was too blissed out to bother retaliating against the tease.

Buck stayed in his lion form for most of the rest of the day. He’d ended up sprawled across the living room floor, completely in the way and refusing to move when Eddie muttered a complaint or tripped over one of his limbs. Chris found the whole thing hilarious, spending his time flopped over Buck or tucked up against him in some way, even whilst he played and caught up with homework.

“Are you going to be lazy all day?” Eddie griped when Buck still showed no sign of moving from his spot. Buck raised his head to acknowledge the question, gave Eddie one long blink, and then went right back to his dozing. The wolf huffed but Buck could smell that he wasn’t actually upset. He did flick his tail at his legs when he walked past though, just to watch him trip in an effort to avoid standing on it. His purrs only got louder when Eddie’s flicked his ear punishingly before smoothing down his cheek and giving him a quick scritch under his jaw. Yeah, Buck wasn’t feeling any inclination to shift back yet.

Sadly, just when Eddie was starting to complain that he would have to make dinner and then threatening to order a takeaway, refusing to shrink under Buck’s unwavering stare, the doorbell rang.

The sound cut through their happy bubble and Buck was instantly on alert. A low rumble started in his chest, ears flattening and tail flicking back and forth. Eddie stroked a hand down his spine as he murmured reassurances but it did nothing to calm him down. Inhaling deeply, he finally smelled that it was Bobby at the door. His ears perked up again but his tail still moved anxiously. He mewled unhappily as he lumbered to his feet.

“Buck?” He disappeared into the kitchen, Eddie on his heels, apparently more worried about Buck than letting Bobby in. When Buck started shifting back, Eddie protested with a sad look on his face. Buck’s hearing came back on the tail end of what he was saying. “…get rid of them; you can stay in your lion form.”

Buck clumsily pulled his clothes back on; it was never good to rush the shift because you were stressed. “Pretty sure Bobby is here to speak with us not at us, Eddie.” Buck pointed out with a nervous, breathy laugh. Whatever Eddie had been about to say died in the air as he sighed, shoulders slumped.

“You and your super sniffer. Alright, fine but this wasn’t a one-time deal, Evan.” Buck softened and brought his hand up to cup Eddie’s face, leaning in for a soft kiss.

“I know, I’m not hiding from my boys.” It was the right thing to say if Eddie’s approving smile was anything to go by.

“You better not, Buckley.” He tugged Buck close to lick across his bite mark. Buck shuddered, desperately trying to think of their most gruesome calls to control his body’s helpless reaction.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Diaz.” He got to feel Eddie’s huff against his skin before they separated and went back into the living room.

Christopher watched Buck unhappily upon their return, tucking himself into Buck’s side when he took a seat next to him on the couch whilst Eddie let their captain in. Buck could hear Bobby apologising for interrupting their day off as he was let in.

When he rounded the corner, he smiled warmly, if a little weakly, at Buck. “Hey, kid, how you doing?”

“We’re okay, Bobby, thanks.”

“Hi, Cap,” Chris chirped with half his usual enthusiasm.

Buck wasn’t sure if he was reacting to Buck’s obvious nerves or if the boy was simply sad that their fun had been halted. He silently promised to make it up to him by shifting as much as possible in future. Looking at Eddie’s vaguely unhappy expression, Buck thought maybe it would be a promise for both of them. One of these day’s he was going to get Eddie in his wolf form too. One step at a time though.

“Christopher, go to your room and play,” Eddie instructed. Chris pouted dramatically but eventually gave into the request. His acquiescence was not graceful in the slightest. Eddie shot him a look that said he was blaming Buck for his son’s attitude. Buck responded by making an innocent, ‘who me’ face at him. He didn’t think Eddie was convinced by it.

Bobby smiled at their silent byplay and then seemed to notice the marks on Buck’s neck. “He’s meant to be healing, Eddie,” the man admonished.

“I’m healed, Bobby,” Buck informed him happily, skipping right over any reference to his and Eddie’s sex life. Again. What was with their parental figures having no sense of subtlety? Catching a glimpse of the hickey’s on Eddie’s neck as he moved to sit next to him, Buck knew he was being hypocritical; it’s not like he’d been subtle either. But still.

“Yes, I got the paperwork.” Bobby’s subdued reply had both of the shifters frowning. Buck tilted his head questioningly.

“You could sound a bit happier about it, Cap; it’s great news.” Eddie replied before Buck could. Bobby made an indecipherable noise.

“Bobby?” Buck asked, getting a bad feeling.

“I’m not sure you’re ready, Buck.” He went completely stiff defensively.

“I’ve been ready for weeks, Bobby, and now that my doctor is signing off, you’re saying I’m not? What the hell!”

“Buck-“

“He’s got the clearance; you can’t stop him from coming back,” Eddie declared firmly.

Bobby looked between the two of them, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked at Buck imploringly. “Buck, kid, I had to watch you get crushed under a truck because of me.”

“I got crushed because of some psycho.”

“If it wasn’t for-“

“It’s not on you, Bobby. If it hadn’t been me, it could have been anyone else that was in the truck with me. It could have been Eddie; we raced for that seat and the only reason I was in it and not him is because I was faster.” When Eddie let out an almost silent whine of displeasure, Buck reached out to take his hand. His grip was returned tightly. “Would you be sitting there telling any of them that they weren’t ready?”

“Buck-“

“Chimney had a fucking rebar go through his skull and was back to work in months. And he’s human! Come on, Bobby!”

“I’m worried you haven’t taken this seriously, Evan.”

“How can you say that? Of course I have; I’ve had to be off work for weeks. I’ve been useless for weeks. Where the fuck have you been through that?” Buck questioned, an unfamiliar anger rising in him. It had been building silently in the background for a long time and now it was bubbling to the surface. “You sure as hell haven’t been here. Eddie’s been the only one checking on me, making sure I’m doing okay. If it hadn’t been for him, I might have lost my leg a week ago. So, where the fuck were you, Bobby? You say you feel guilty for this happening but I don’t see you trying to make it up to me. No, instead you turn up here to try and get rid of me!” Buck had risen to his feet by the end of his tirade, hissing into Bobby’s stricken face. Eddie was a solid presence beside him, offering his support wordlessly.

“I’m not-“

“You are!” His voice rose subconsciously. He cast a quick look down the hallway but it luckily didn’t seemed to have disturbed Chris.

“You’re not ready-“

“No, Cap, you aren’t,” Eddie said lowly but lethally. “Don’t put this on Buck because he is ready. You can’t let your personal feelings affect your decision as his captain. So, no, you don’t to get to come into our home and tell my mate he isn’t ready to go back to work when his doctor has expressly told us, told you, that he is. This is not your decision to make. This is up to Buck and his doctor and you’ve already heard what that decision is. All you get to do now is respect it.”

Buck wasn’t sure if it was the indisputable defence; being called Eddie’s mate; or this being described as ‘their’ house that had him reeling the most. Either way he very inappropriately wanted to shove his tongue down his mate’s throat for it.

“I get that you’re scared; I am too,” Eddie said, losing the hard edge in his voice. Buck met the vulnerable brown eyes that flashed in his direction and took Eddie’s hand back in his. “But we don’t get to stand in his way because of that. We stand beside him and support him. We probably growl at anyone who so much as looks at him funny,” he said wryly. Buck snorted, squeezing his hand. “But we don’t stop him from doing what he loves. Buck’s a damn good firefighter and he belongs with his team.”

It was possibly the most passionate speech Buck had ever heard Eddie say and it was definitely the first of its kind that Buck had ever heard that was in defence of him. Bobby looked equally surprised but there was also an air of resignation to him.

They watched as their captain took a few deep breathes, looking away with his brow furrowed. Finally, he looked back at Buck, his eyes running over him. The older man nodded. “Alright. Alright, okay. You’re right. I don’t like it but… If you say you’re ready and you’ve got your medical clearance; I can’t stop you.” It wasn’t exactly a ringing endorsement of Bobby’s belief in him but, if it meant Buck could go back to work, he would take it. As much as it hurt, he would prove himself worthy to Bobby again. “Well then I’ll see you on the next shift. And you two better be professional if you want to stay partners.” Bobby made a quick exit with that, leaving the house as suddenly as he’d come, before either of them could respond. Buck thought it was probably a combination of being forced to take Buck back and Eddie’s glower at his parting words.

“Fucking hypocrite,” Eddie muttered under his breath. Buck snorted and used his hold on Eddie’s hand to pull the wolf close so he could rest his head on his shoulder. Eddie pressed a kiss onto the top of Buck’s head, making him close his eyes as he started to lose the tension invading his body. God, he was absolutely drained just from that confrontation.

“Thanks for having my back there, mate.” Eddie stiffened underneath him and then relaxed in the same breath.

“I probably should have clarified that with you first,” he mumbled shyly. Buck lifted his head so he could shrug, his free hand coming up to finger the bite mark on his neck. Eddie watched him with quickly darkening eyes.

“I think maybe we already did, sweetheart.” Slowly, Eddie’s eyes lifted back up to meet his, sparkling with happiness and a heavy dose of heat. It was an intoxicating mixture that Buck knew he was likely to become addicted to.

“Yeah, maybe we did.” He was tugged closer with one hand on his hip until they were pressed together chest to chest. “I’ve got your back.” Buck rested their foreheads together.

“And I’ve got yours.”

Notes:

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I FINISHED IT! AND HOLY SHIT DID IT END UP WAY LONGER THAN INITIALLY EXPECTED. I'm kind of still in shock that I actually did complete it honestly.

Thank you so much to everyone who left kudos and comments and especially to all my lovely regular commenters who stayed with me through every inconsistently uploaded chapter; you guys kept me motivated to keep going through every writer's block and competing inspiration!

The story isn't really over, though; this is only the beginning...

You Can't Blame Me for Trying - ScribblingArtemis (2024)

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